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Dating can be one of the most fun pastimes in the world or the source of some of the weirdest things you’ll ever see. And not just weird as in “oh dear, we sat in awkward silence for, like, 15 seconds” weird. We mean weird as in somebody taking a stick of butter out of their pocket and eating it during the actual date. Are you intrigued yet?

When Twitter user Postgrad_barty urged people to share their weirdest dating stories, they replied with gusto. We’ve collected some of their very best responses, so scroll down, and enjoy. Just remember to upvote your faves and share your own weird date stories in the comments.

When you’re done with this article, have a look through our previous posts about hilariously disastrous dates right here and here.

Image credits: postgrad_barty

Speaking from experience, the strangest dates are almost always the very first time you go out with someone new. A lot of awkwardness and weirdness flow from the fact that you two don’t know each other well, aren’t comfortable around one another, not to mention that you’re not acting genuine.

In fact, it would be fair to say that guys and girls who lack confidence don’t start showing their true selves to one another until the third or fourth date. Until then, we’re all trying to impress one another with fake personas: over-exaggerating our strongest features while desperately trying to hide the fact that we have any flaws. (This also applies to starting at a new workplace or meeting friends of your friends—we all want to make the best possible impression, but we think the only way we can do this is by being fake.)

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Demi Zwaan
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But because you didn't tell anyone about this, not even the cops, he now has a nice collection of lampshades made from the girls who didn't escape.

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Liam Walsh
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4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a really nice thing to do though, isn't it? I mean if his friend mentioned he also liked them.

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Nerd Fitness has some good advice when it comes to planning out your first date. You know, to reduce the awkwardness. We wholeheartedly agree with their idea that if it’s the first time you’re meeting them in real life, you shouldn’t opt for a long dinner or going to the movie theater. It’s too formal. It increases the chances of awkward silences way too much.

Instead, going for a cup of coffee is way more fun. It’s lively. And if the date’s turning sour or if the other person’s a total weirdo, you can always down your cup of coffee, scald your tongue, and run out the door shouting how you just remembered it’s your mom’s birthday today.

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Chris Jones
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd be confessing that I don't like holding hands with people who don't use utensils.

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One other important thing is to. Not. Flake. Out. If you make plans to meet someone for a date, follow through. All too often we see guys and girls canceling plans at the last possible moment because of nerves, laziness, or both. Flaking out on plans (any plans) tells a lot about a person—not very pleasant things, mainly. So keep your promises. It’s always better to not make plans than to make ‘em and break ‘em.

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Bobert Robertson
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He was lonely and just looking for someone to enjoy the movie with... kinda sad

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I’m Foxxy and I know it 😉
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had to google it lol. It is a device for men who have been circumcised or suffered injury using a technique of tissue expansion, which causes new skin/foreskin to grow.

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Scratch
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What in the wide world of s**t? It's scary that these people are presumably running loose somewhere.

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NMN
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I for sure mispronounce most French words. And maybe he'd say something more like "brye" or "brié"

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NMN
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No problem him doing any those things, however TMI for a first date

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Jason M
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4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Did he happen to mention if he patented his ding-dangulator idea?

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Courtney Christelle
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dogs sleep on the covers and I sleep under the cover and I also enjoy being naked, am I weird?

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Dorothy Parker
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4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is he suing his parents? Doing this for the dog's preference?

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Cold Contagious
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

GTFO now 😂, if you lose your kicks, don't look back, just keep running!

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James Thompson
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Home foreskin restoration is common amongst red pillers I think.

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Dorothy Parker
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The best get out of date excuse ever. Five points for Slitherin.

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EtherealSponge
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well I bet he has a few stories about dating someone who sat by the wrong person.

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Steve Cruz
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It would be difficult to fall asleep around her or accept a drink you hadn't seen prepared.

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Tacitus86
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can't go to any movie anymore without someone being on their phone the whole time or talking loudly. I don't bother wasting my money.

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RitaGG
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your tongue is OK, but get your damn hands out of my mouth!

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