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Dating can be one of the most fun pastimes in the world or the source of some of the weirdest things you’ll ever see. And not just weird as in “oh dear, we sat in awkward silence for, like, 15 seconds” weird. We mean weird as in somebody taking a stick of butter out of their pocket and eating it during the actual date. Are you intrigued yet?

When Twitter user Postgrad_barty urged people to share their weirdest dating stories, they replied with gusto. We’ve collected some of their very best responses, so scroll down, and enjoy. Just remember to upvote your faves and share your own weird date stories in the comments.

When you’re done with this article, have a look through our previous posts about hilariously disastrous dates right here and here.

Image credits: postgrad_barty

Speaking from experience, the strangest dates are almost always the very first time you go out with someone new. A lot of awkwardness and weirdness flow from the fact that you two don’t know each other well, aren’t comfortable around one another, not to mention that you’re not acting genuine.

In fact, it would be fair to say that guys and girls who lack confidence don’t start showing their true selves to one another until the third or fourth date. Until then, we’re all trying to impress one another with fake personas: over-exaggerating our strongest features while desperately trying to hide the fact that we have any flaws. (This also applies to starting at a new workplace or meeting friends of your friends—we all want to make the best possible impression, but we think the only way we can do this is by being fake.)

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Demi Zwaan
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But because you didn't tell anyone about this, not even the cops, he now has a nice collection of lampshades made from the girls who didn't escape.

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Liam Walsh
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4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a really nice thing to do though, isn't it? I mean if his friend mentioned he also liked them.

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Nerd Fitness has some good advice when it comes to planning out your first date. You know, to reduce the awkwardness. We wholeheartedly agree with their idea that if it’s the first time you’re meeting them in real life, you shouldn’t opt for a long dinner or going to the movie theater. It’s too formal. It increases the chances of awkward silences way too much.

Instead, going for a cup of coffee is way more fun. It’s lively. And if the date’s turning sour or if the other person’s a total weirdo, you can always down your cup of coffee, scald your tongue, and run out the door shouting how you just remembered it’s your mom’s birthday today.

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Chris Jones
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd be confessing that I don't like holding hands with people who don't use utensils.

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Ruby
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not me but a colleague told me about his date at work Monday morning. After he had paid the check for their dinner his date says she's gotta use the restroom. Goes, comes back a minute later, says there's a line and she'll wait. They go outside and without a word the woman disappears around the corner. Confused my colleague follows her and finds her squat peeing in the alley. (:

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Maria Laney
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This doesn't really make much sense because I don't know of a denomination that asks if you accepted the LORD, AND goes to confession.

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Pretty Pangolin
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And that's where the line "Render unto Caesar that which is Caesar's" originated.

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Courtney Christelle
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

First I want to say that there's nothing wrong with religion, there's nothing wrong with sharing your view points with a willing person. Second, I find you can gauge just how crazy a person is based on how quick they slide it into conversation.

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Kate Johnson
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've eaten salad with my hands if the dressing is in the side. Stabbing at a bowl of lettuce and getting nothing annoys me. I'm hungry and want my salad! I'm not rude about it, and nobody had ever even given me an odd look, except for one old lady who said that she was going to eat hers like that from then on. (That was at a very expensive, very upscale place, too!) Of course I wash my hands before meals, that's how I was raised and I was a CNA for 15 years. I wash my hands a LOT! 🥗🧼

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Luna Zen
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

it’s possible that the utensil thing is legit, but it’s something you disclose BEFORE the date. the religion thing is always inappropriate.

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Brittnie St. Cyr
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have just had a date with Satan hahahahahaha!!!! Why is this story not number 1!!!

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Id row
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sincerely hope that woman doesn't find someone who shares her crazy and decides to multiply.

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One other important thing is to. Not. Flake. Out. If you make plans to meet someone for a date, follow through. All too often we see guys and girls canceling plans at the last possible moment because of nerves, laziness, or both. Flaking out on plans (any plans) tells a lot about a person—not very pleasant things, mainly. So keep your promises. It’s always better to not make plans than to make ‘em and break ‘em.

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Bobert Robertson
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He was lonely and just looking for someone to enjoy the movie with... kinda sad

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Orillion
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Suddenly, mispronouncing the word brie doesn't seem that big a problem.

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EtherealSponge
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well I bet he has a few stories about dating someone who sat by the wrong person.

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Steve Cruz
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It would be difficult to fall asleep around her or accept a drink you hadn't seen prepared.

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Tacitus86
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can't go to any movie anymore without someone being on their phone the whole time or talking loudly. I don't bother wasting my money.

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RitaGG
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your tongue is OK, but get your damn hands out of my mouth!

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