X, formerly known as Twitter, has become a playground for everyone from politicians, to celebrities, comedians, companies, the guy or girl next door, and even their pets. The platform's limited characters and fast-paced nature make it the perfect platform for hilarious one-liners, sarcastic quips, dad jokes, and clever clapbacks.
There's never a shortage of funny posts on X, and November was no different. The sarky moms, funny dads, and the generally jokey human beings didn't disappoint. It was hard to single out the funniest tweets from this month. But after much deliberation, Bored Panda managed to do it. Keep scrolling for the November Dump of tweets that had us in stitches.
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I (62) fell the other day, but not in an old man sort of way. It was in a tried-to-hop-into-sweatpants-and-wound-up-in-one-leg sort of way. 62 going on 6.
The gate is down and the lights are flashing but there is no train coming.
I was working as a filler substitute teacher at a high school. Walked into a chemistry class. After taking attendance one of the kids asked for a small white board because "I think we summoned a demon yesterday while the other sub was here." They needed the white board to communicate with it by making their own ouija board. I asked if they tried holy water. They said they were looking on Amazon for some. School is weird these days.
When I get out of the swimming pool and someone is just getting ready to get in the water I tell them "I warmed the water up for you."
He's been gone a long time but I still sometimes hold the door open shouting, "Look dad! I'm heating the entire neighborhood!"
I really hope this is more of a workaholic situation and not a she didn't have a choice situation.
A voice from the Heavens that sounds a lot like the dungeon master bellows, "Well, open the wall, idiot!" as thunder crashes and arrows begin to rain down.
I miss not staring at someone like they just stabbed a baby because they coughed.
On BP ee don't seem to have so many Marketing Bots anymore. That's nice. ("My name is Anastasia Cybertron and I make $10 million a week without even breathing...")
little hack for that - if it's a pack that doesn't have the hard plastic support at the opening, snip the opening about 15mm bigger on one side then you'll only get one - if the pack has a hard plastic support, put a hair band over the packet at each end, then you'll only get one (btw, they do this on purpose so you'll use more)
I’ve not heard one hummingbird complain and they’re way smaller than us and doing all the work themselves, as for geese I haven’t heard them complain my guess is they take it out on us
That's why I quit writing those things down. "Smrga doff Dunkin' overboard lass."
Two brooms leaning against each other would be like a romcom poster
It was a cruel Bastard who termed obsessive compulsion a DIS-order... Order is everything to obsessive compulsives