40 Times Kids Cracked Up Their Parents With Hilarious One-Liners, As Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread
Kids are known to say things honestly and without filters. Maybe because you don’t expect them to say certain things, when they say it, the only reaction left is laughter. Kids sometimes come up with such hilarious things to say that parents often go to Twitter so that the whole internet can laugh together.
One of those parents is Jessica Valenti, who shared how her 3-year-old daughter got sick after eating carrots but her reaction was that she would need even more carrots, which you could understand metaphorically and take inspiration to not give up when things get difficult.
Image credits: Richard Leeming
In response to Jessica's tweet, many people started sharing some genius things their children have said, so here is a list of the best ones. If you have anything to share, put it in the comments and upvote the tweets that made you laugh the most.
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Jessica Valenti is an American feminist writer and a columnist for Medium. She has almost 300k followers on Twitter and usually her tweets get several hundred likes, but recently, her tweet about her daughter’s hilarious reaction to getting sick from carrots was liked over 100k times.
Then she added her second favorite thing her daughter ever told her and it was her saying that Jessica was wearing clown pants, though she herself thought that they were very fashionable. Apparently, Layla, her daughter, thought they looked like pajamas.
Children that speak their minds without thinking about how their words could affect someone can make parents feel uncomfortable, especially if they say something rude or inappropriate in front of other people, but it can lead to funny situations that later are worth telling over and over again.
Also, they see the world in a more simple way, so they come up with some creative solutions to problems. Maybe they’re not realistic, but they are creative. Bored Panda has done plenty of articles about children surprising adults with how they think. For example, a teacher from the UK, George Pointon, asks his first graders various questions and he puts them up on Twitter with his own commentary.
The internet loves these tweets and if you would like to see what that is all about, you can find the answers the children gave to the teacher asking what they would do if they became the president of the world, or what they think is the one thing that makes a person an adult. The tweet that received the most love is the one in which the teacher asked his students to tell him their best jokes, which is also worth a little look.
My sister was born on my brothers 7th birthday. As my parents were leaving for the hospital they asked my brother if he would like a baby brother or sister for his birthday. His response, "I would rather have a bike." He got one of those too.
One of my nieces (3yo) ask her mum for months to "make her a real baby, a bold one" but for when she will have boobs to feed it. My sister in law got pregnant and told the kids recently. The little one shout out of hapiness "wow, really you are making me a real baby with no hair?!!!But i don't have tities yet!Doesn't matter you can feed it for me". I bet that she will resigned for motherhood very soon. The clever one (5yo)with many heart surgery since baby just ran into her room to get her stethoscope to hear the baby's heart. Weak heart, strong brain!
Is the older son's name Calvin? Specifically, https://www.gocomics.com/calvinandhobbes/1986/06/07
My sistrr was 5 when I was born. When they brought me home, she went "why did she have to come and ruin my whole life".
Well, shoving a younger brother down the older son's throat is almost never fun for the older son. Parents always expect the older son to be part-time parent for the younger weasel. I know, it happened to me and it sucked.
I can second this, I'm the second oldest of 11 now, been baysitting since there were only 6 of us...when I was 9.
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LOL!! Just had this discussion a couple of days ago. Welcome to the club, angel. Mine isn't either. I can remember being a small child, and my mother told me to do something I didn't want to. I can remember telling her that I couldn't wait to be grown up. No one was going to be the boss of ME. I was going to do what I want, when I want. I was going to stay up all night and eat whatever I wanted, and blah blah. She LAUGHED AT ME. And I thought "How Rude". Well, fast forward 45 years. And guess what? I get it now. You are never totally in charge of your life. Someone else is always the boss of you. Eating whatever you want helps you get fat. Staying up all night is a horrible idea, and what I wouldn't do for A NAP. And life is definitely not turning out the way I planned.
His first reality lesson! Life hands you what it wants and you have to deal with it! 🤫
yes sweetie, now let's use that international hand symbol for "what the f**k is this guy doing"
Judging from these tweets, it seems that the children didn’t mean what they were saying to be funny, but having a sense of humor is a part of healthy development. It gets more sophisticated the older they get and having a sense of humor helps kids emotionally and socially.
Humor is a concept that is difficult to define and it’s even more difficult to pinpoint what it is that makes us laugh. There are many theories to this, but one of them that is often discussed is the incongruity theory, which “suggests that we find fundamentally incompatible concepts or unexpected resolutions funny. Basically, we find humor in the incongruity between our expectations and reality.”
So enjoy this list of children saying unexpected things and possibly things that are so different from the reality we see that they give us a little chuckle.
i liek to think people inherit their personalities from their parents =)
My little brother on the prospect of climbing snowdon when I suggested it because I wanted to: "I do not want to climb a mountain; that is not my dream"
When I turned 40 (in April) I dyed my naturally blonde hair bright "mermaid" turquoise. I saw my nephew (7yo) a few days later and he told me I looked the cheese he found in his fridge. Wow little dude, your mom went from blonde to purple 6 months ago...I can't imagine what he told her when she did that lol
It’s always going to be more exotic to take after someone remote and mysterious!
My 8 year-old nephew told me my new glasses made me look the oldest man in the world with the biggest nose in the world and put on my old glasses.
you see, that child from the queen post earlier might have a soulmate
reminds me of when we were stopped at traffic lights and my 5 year old read the billboard on the church on the opposite side of the intersection. It read in huge letters "JESUS SAVES" My son promptly asked "WHICH BANK?" The catch phrase of an annoyingly frequent ad on TV at the time.
It was during the Clinton/Bush Presidential race. My 3 year old had seen a bunch of Clinton ads on TV showing the Bush speech in which he said, “Read my lips…no new taxes…” She was standing at the top of the stairs eating Doritos when I came home from work one day and said, “Hey Daddy…Read my Chips!” followed by her hysterical laugh. I knew she’d never take life too seriously after that….
Note: this post originally had 41 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
Daughter has a pet rock she recently found, calls it Greyie. After she told someone about it, they said "Well, make sure you look after Greyie." She looked at them and said, "I drew a face on her so she can look after herself."
My 3.5 yo nephew doesn't like haircuts and tries to avoid them as much as possible. So last week, when his father told him he needs to have a haircut because it will help him cool off now that it's summer, his response was "if I want to cool off, I can drink water"!
When my sister was 10 and brother 7, we were watching the 2009 A Christmas Carol. Part way through, sister turns to brother and says, “I bet you can’t name all four ghosts.” Gives him about 5 seconds to reply before goes, “Ghost of Christmas past, ghost of Christmas present, ghost of Christmas future and Bob Marley.” There was a pause and I turned to her and went, “It’s Jacob Marley!” My dad and step mum hadn’t even clocked it til I said it. Cue hysterical laughter as it sunk in!
When we were expecting our second child we asked our 4y old daughter what she wished for - brother or sister. Her answer: "A pony."
When my autistic son was 5, he would ask "Where's Dad?" (Dad's gone. Dad's at work.) "Where's Aunt Diane?" (Aunt Diane is gone. Aunt Diane is at work.) One day we come home and there is a moving van with a tiger on it. "Mom! Look! Tiger! Mom! Look! Tiger!" (Yep, that's a tiger!) We came out to the car later on and the moving van was gone. My son says "Tiger's gone. Tiger's at work!" (Yep, probably.)
My 7 year old can't find his shoes even when they're right in front of him. Ironically though, he's really good at finding 4 leaf clovers. He showed me his latest one and I asked him what he was going to do with it. I was about to suggest pressing it in a heavy book or something when suddenly he shoved it in his mouth and ate it. I asked him 'why did you eat it!?' His reply? 'Now I'll be lucky forever!' Can't really fault his logic on that one.
My little one walked in as I was watching an old movie. "That's what things looked like when I was a kid" I said. -didn't miss a beat.. "Kids saw everything in black and white back then?" he said.
My 11yo in the car with me getting frustrated with the GPS directions. "Do you trust this lady? She sits on a throne of lies."
Not my kid, because my kids have four paws and a tail, but a kid I was babysitting. he'd made a mess, and wanted me to help him clean it up, said his mom would help him. I reminded him I'm not his mom. He came back with "In my situation, right now, you are getting paid to be my mom" He was five at the time, and I knew that boy was going places.
Today in the grocery store I saw a man and son, son about 6. Son was pushing the cart and came to about the height of the cart handle. As they passed me, son says "While we're here, we might as well get some donuts". I cracked up, out loud. So adult and reasonable sounding. Might as well dad.
The Local Bar in a town where I once lived reopened after being refurbished after a flood and the beer garden was full of people. I was there with some friends and their 5 year old son and we were waiting for one of my friend's mother, the child's Nana, to come and join us. We looking around for her and she appeared wearing a long black fake fur coat white gloves and white boots. The five year old took one look at her and in a loud crystal clear voice asked "Nana, why have you come dressed as a Border Collie"? The place erupted. The poor woman was mortified.
When my daughter was 3 she told is she could compete in the cross country olympics as long as her mom pushed her up the hills.
Family legend says that when my mum was expecting me, she asked my brother whether he wanted a baby brother or a baby sister. He replied that he wanted a horse. My father came back with "By the size of your mother, you're in with a chance." She never let him forget that.
My son, who was always big for his age, was testing for kindergarten entrance. When he came out I asked him how he did and he said ok, but he didn’t know his birthdate. I said yes you, do it’s September 1st. He said he knew the date, just not the year. Oh, I said, it’s 1992. Then my daughter, who was two years his senior said, “That’s strange I always thought he was only one year younger than me.” Whereas my son says, “That’s strange, I always thought we were twins.” I wondered what he thought when she went to school and he didn’t!
My daughter was 5 years old and dressed in a beautiful dress for Easter, wanted to show my neighbor her new dress, and ask him "Do you like my dress?" His response was "You look nice". She turns around storms towards our house, and says "Nice", and slams the door when she went in. A day later my neighbor brings her flowers and apologizes for not telling her how beautiful she really looked.
My friend's step-son was in the car with his mom and she heard him smacking his lips and asked him what he was eating. "A peanut", he said and she asked him where he got a peanut. "Outta my nose."
Yeah, don't underestimate those little rascals. Also... There were originally 40 posts but it was shortened to 40... Wow... Thanks, what a huge difference...
When I was around 2 the movie Bolt had come out and I loved it. Around that time I started saying "Yay I got the bowakenjet!" when I was excited. It too my parents weeks to figure out that I was trying to say what Rhino did when he freed Bolt from the truck. Now they won't let me forget I ever said that.
The time my husband took our then 3-yr old son from the supper table to give him a spank in the other room. They come back and son is crying from the spank, and his older brother (4 yrs old) said "Don't you think you were a little hard on him, Daddy?" The look on him face when he realized he just earned himself a spank... I'm still laughing.
Daughter has a pet rock she recently found, calls it Greyie. After she told someone about it, they said "Well, make sure you look after Greyie." She looked at them and said, "I drew a face on her so she can look after herself."
My 3.5 yo nephew doesn't like haircuts and tries to avoid them as much as possible. So last week, when his father told him he needs to have a haircut because it will help him cool off now that it's summer, his response was "if I want to cool off, I can drink water"!
When my sister was 10 and brother 7, we were watching the 2009 A Christmas Carol. Part way through, sister turns to brother and says, “I bet you can’t name all four ghosts.” Gives him about 5 seconds to reply before goes, “Ghost of Christmas past, ghost of Christmas present, ghost of Christmas future and Bob Marley.” There was a pause and I turned to her and went, “It’s Jacob Marley!” My dad and step mum hadn’t even clocked it til I said it. Cue hysterical laughter as it sunk in!
When we were expecting our second child we asked our 4y old daughter what she wished for - brother or sister. Her answer: "A pony."
When my autistic son was 5, he would ask "Where's Dad?" (Dad's gone. Dad's at work.) "Where's Aunt Diane?" (Aunt Diane is gone. Aunt Diane is at work.) One day we come home and there is a moving van with a tiger on it. "Mom! Look! Tiger! Mom! Look! Tiger!" (Yep, that's a tiger!) We came out to the car later on and the moving van was gone. My son says "Tiger's gone. Tiger's at work!" (Yep, probably.)
My 7 year old can't find his shoes even when they're right in front of him. Ironically though, he's really good at finding 4 leaf clovers. He showed me his latest one and I asked him what he was going to do with it. I was about to suggest pressing it in a heavy book or something when suddenly he shoved it in his mouth and ate it. I asked him 'why did you eat it!?' His reply? 'Now I'll be lucky forever!' Can't really fault his logic on that one.
My little one walked in as I was watching an old movie. "That's what things looked like when I was a kid" I said. -didn't miss a beat.. "Kids saw everything in black and white back then?" he said.
My 11yo in the car with me getting frustrated with the GPS directions. "Do you trust this lady? She sits on a throne of lies."
Not my kid, because my kids have four paws and a tail, but a kid I was babysitting. he'd made a mess, and wanted me to help him clean it up, said his mom would help him. I reminded him I'm not his mom. He came back with "In my situation, right now, you are getting paid to be my mom" He was five at the time, and I knew that boy was going places.
Today in the grocery store I saw a man and son, son about 6. Son was pushing the cart and came to about the height of the cart handle. As they passed me, son says "While we're here, we might as well get some donuts". I cracked up, out loud. So adult and reasonable sounding. Might as well dad.
The Local Bar in a town where I once lived reopened after being refurbished after a flood and the beer garden was full of people. I was there with some friends and their 5 year old son and we were waiting for one of my friend's mother, the child's Nana, to come and join us. We looking around for her and she appeared wearing a long black fake fur coat white gloves and white boots. The five year old took one look at her and in a loud crystal clear voice asked "Nana, why have you come dressed as a Border Collie"? The place erupted. The poor woman was mortified.
When my daughter was 3 she told is she could compete in the cross country olympics as long as her mom pushed her up the hills.
Family legend says that when my mum was expecting me, she asked my brother whether he wanted a baby brother or a baby sister. He replied that he wanted a horse. My father came back with "By the size of your mother, you're in with a chance." She never let him forget that.
My son, who was always big for his age, was testing for kindergarten entrance. When he came out I asked him how he did and he said ok, but he didn’t know his birthdate. I said yes you, do it’s September 1st. He said he knew the date, just not the year. Oh, I said, it’s 1992. Then my daughter, who was two years his senior said, “That’s strange I always thought he was only one year younger than me.” Whereas my son says, “That’s strange, I always thought we were twins.” I wondered what he thought when she went to school and he didn’t!
My daughter was 5 years old and dressed in a beautiful dress for Easter, wanted to show my neighbor her new dress, and ask him "Do you like my dress?" His response was "You look nice". She turns around storms towards our house, and says "Nice", and slams the door when she went in. A day later my neighbor brings her flowers and apologizes for not telling her how beautiful she really looked.
My friend's step-son was in the car with his mom and she heard him smacking his lips and asked him what he was eating. "A peanut", he said and she asked him where he got a peanut. "Outta my nose."
Yeah, don't underestimate those little rascals. Also... There were originally 40 posts but it was shortened to 40... Wow... Thanks, what a huge difference...
When I was around 2 the movie Bolt had come out and I loved it. Around that time I started saying "Yay I got the bowakenjet!" when I was excited. It too my parents weeks to figure out that I was trying to say what Rhino did when he freed Bolt from the truck. Now they won't let me forget I ever said that.
The time my husband took our then 3-yr old son from the supper table to give him a spank in the other room. They come back and son is crying from the spank, and his older brother (4 yrs old) said "Don't you think you were a little hard on him, Daddy?" The look on him face when he realized he just earned himself a spank... I'm still laughing.
