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The dreaded ex. Most of us have got them. There are millions of occasions when the situation is resolved with an amicable, mature ceasefire that can even blossom into a beautiful friendship. Sadly, there are just as many occasions when the asshole can frankly just drop dead for all you care, together with his savage text fails.

In these times of instant messaging and easy contact at the touch of your fingertips, it can be just too tempting for the eschewed ex to reach out and test the waters. An uncalculated text from your ex can end up causing an explosion of emotions with WW III proportions. Bored Panda had compiled a list of times when people came up with the perfect response to these unwanted advances, some of them are just deliciously devilish and undoubtedly funny texts.

Scroll down to check out the list of ex-texts and funny messages, and may the force be with you while dealing with your senseless ex.

#1

Worse Than A B*tch

Worse Than A B*tch

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#3

Slowly Suffocating

Slowly Suffocating

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WhiteFox
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH THAT WAS SO PERFECT 👌

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#7

Savage Burn

Savage Burn

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Kjorn
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

traduction: i date other people for one year and now that i'm single again, i can't stand it. So i texting you again so we can got back together.

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#9

It Reminds Me Of You

It Reminds Me Of You

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Neeraj Jha
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it's not much of a bothering, I would like to have that Pizza Place's number.

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#19

No Second Chance Here

No Second Chance Here

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#20

Cheating Accidentally

Cheating Accidentally

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Virgil Blue
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Accident? Like "I tripped and fell and accidentally poked my dong into her. Then I had to move around vigorously to escape." Just replace some words if the other one cheated.

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#22

Fact Check

Fact Check

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Lucida
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husbands ex did that when he and I started dating. She: "Oh, I love your beautiful big blue eyes" Him: "My eyes are green..." Hahaha! Stupid girl!

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#30

Hard Pass

Hard Pass

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#31

Feelings For You

Feelings For You

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#34

Text From Ex

Text From Ex

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sh
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Isn't pizza everyone's thing? Almost like saying, "I heard someone say oxygen today; made me think of the air we used to breathe together."

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#37

Text From Ex

Text From Ex

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#40

Punch In The Face

Punch In The Face

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Echo
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jeez the down votes are kind of harsh on this reply. You just assume he is a looser I guess?

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#48

Text From Ex

Text From Ex

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#54

Hint Hint

Hint Hint

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#61

Not Keeping Tabs Here

Not Keeping Tabs Here

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#70

Text From Ex

Text From Ex

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That Fat Mouse
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would he/she be asking for a ring size, if they are broken up? Just asking.

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#72

I Know

I Know

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Zenozenobee
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Oh, baby, give me one more chance To show you that I love you Won't you please let me Back in your heart...."

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#74

Should've Kept It To Yourself

Should've Kept It To Yourself

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Santino Aznar
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why would you dirty those bowls and dishes? How can you bring yourself to do that? That's just nasty!

#76

God Bless

God Bless

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Pi...
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This was a semi-genuine attempt at getting her back... well played.

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#77

Text From Ex

Text From Ex

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Neb
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would understand if that was sunglasses, but this would be unacceptable (unless they only want to threaten a bit). Yet knowing some of the eyeglasses prices... nop, a bad idea

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#78

Sorting Things Out

Sorting Things Out

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Krusty Shakelford
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sick of people demanding their 'time' back. You made the choice to spend time with someone. You get what you pay for. No refunds.

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Justi
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

same with jewellery. after six years? a present is a present unless i decide i don't want it.

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KT Trondsen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

uhm no. an engagement ring is a gift, not something you ask back.

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manowce
Community Member
6 years ago

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umm, no, it's not a gift like a birthday gift. it's a promise of something & if that something is not happening, you should give it back.

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Nina Wum
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, for f**k's sake. If you went and gave someone a ring, seriously consider it a gift, not a lease.

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Mike Hansen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually, there is a certain protocol for a situation like this😟 . If the lady breaks the engagement then she is supposed to return the ring as it was accepted as a promise to marry. If the guy breaks the engagement then the lady gets to keep the ring because he broke his promise to marry her. It's sad no matter how you look at it but you should do the right thing regardless of hurt feelings. And I have to agree with Krusty about wanting 'time back'. Is it me or is it only women who bring the time thing up?!?!

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Mike Hansen
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An engagement ring is not a present. A necklace is a present. An engagement ring is a symbol of your love and commitment to each other.

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This Is Me
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree that if she is "at fault", the ring goes back but if he is in the wrong, she keeps it. Unless it's an family piece. Also, engagement rings were originally insurance for the bride-to-be, to provide for her in case the marriage never happened. Just sayin...

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#82

Text From Ex

Text From Ex

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#86

Text From Ex

Text From Ex

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#87

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