Jimmy Fallon Asks People Why They Are Single, And Here Are 30 Of The Most Spot-On Replies
A couple of years ago, Jimmy Fallon, the host of The Tonight Show, asked people on Twitter why were they single. He immediately received plenty of replies and they were so entertaining and insightful, even we at Bored Panda did a piece about them.
Thinking there might be more good stories out there, Fallon decided to revisit the topic. On April 27th, he tweeted the same question and the Internet proved him right. Once again, he got loads of hilarious and honest answers, and once again, we just have to show them to you. Enjoy!
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According to relationship coach Alisha Fisher, some of the biggest challenges of being single come from expectations. Particularly those that tell us being in a relationship is something that makes us happy. So when we're not in one, we must not be happy. However, "being in a relationship is a cultural standard that is slowly being pushed against," Fisher told Bored Panda. "Singlehood is seen by some as a curse, so it now becomes a battle of internalized shame and external judgment. The dating world has and continues to shift dramatically from week to week. It is not only heartbreak and STBBI's (STDs/STIs) that we need to be concerned about, it is also the threat of our and our family's health from the COVID pandemic."
Official numbers agree with this. Adults in the US are increasingly delaying saying "I Do". The median age at first marriage in the country has continued to rise in recent years from 27.1 and 25.3 years in 2003 for males and females, respectively, to 29.8 and 27.8 years in 2018, the Census Bureau reported. In addition, as many as 35.7 million Americans live alone now, 28% of households. That is up from 13% of households in 1960 and 23% in 1980.
But that's not necessarily a bad thing. "Being single can be a great time for personal reflection, it all comes down to how you choose to balance exploration with self-care," Fisher explained. "There are relationships of all kinds in our lives that we can work on, relationships with friends, colleagues, family, extended family, nature, spiritual world, even the relationship with your social media followers."
"With that being said, being single can feel very lonely, so learning about what gets you motivated every day (this could include learning about your personality type), how to effectively navigate your mental health with mindfulness and grounding strategies, and, of course, learning about what brings you pleasure, both inside and outside the bedroom."
Author, psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, educator, and speaker Kendra Cherry wrote in Verywell Mind that even though there is a wealth of research pointing to the psychological downsides of loneliness and social isolation, there is an increasing amount of evidence suggesting that a certain amount of quality time alone is critical to well-being. This research suggests that some things are just better off being done by yourself without the distractions, opinions, or influences of other people.
"It is important to remember that being alone and loneliness are two very different things," Cherry explained. "Loneliness involves being isolated despite wanting social connections, where being alone means taking time for yourself between regular social interactions."
Marriage & relationship coach Suzanne Venker thinks that living solo and "doing what you want when you want fosters a life that becomes so self-serving that when people eventually do get married, it becomes difficult, if not impossible, to shift gears and take into account other individuals who have needs and desires of their own."
"At the end of the day, it's via commitment that we grow as human beings. Being single doesn't ask people to look in the mirror and face their weaknesses in order to become better people," Venker explained her point of view. "It doesn't require someone to derail his or her plans to accommodate the needs of others. It doesn't expect people to learn the art of patience because they won't need to. Being single doesn't ask much of anyone. Singles can live however they see fit, with zero compromises. That's not growth; it's inertia."
Venker believes the answer to the question of whether or not a single person should date lies in marriage. Or rather, what they think of it. "If you're open to marriage, date. And if you're not open to marriage, don't date," she said. "Dating without purpose is a waste of time. Also, learn and accept what marriage is before dating anyone seriously. Marriage is ultimately about raising a family (most couples have children) and about building a life with someone who shares your goals. Don't waste your time with anyone who's not on your same page. You cannot make someone into the person you wish he or she to be, so move on to the next person when you realize your values aren't aligned."
Alisha Fisher, however, says the number one relationship you will have in your life is the relationship with yourself, and forcing yourself into uncomfortable situations and relationships may initially alleviate some initial discomfort, but the effects on your mental health may be draining. "I use a sundae analogy for this, you are a glorious sundae, with all the succulent toppings, the meaning of a relationship in your life should relate to an extra cherry, or drizzle, thus, adding to the amazing sundae that you already are. Relationships should not complete you, but rather, enhance you."
Regardless of how you feel about being single, we have no guarantees of time with anyone but ourselves. And it's something we have to make peace with.
That reminds of the photon that walked into a hotel to rent a room. "Can I get a bellhop to handle your begs?", said the desk clerk. "No thanks. I'm travelling light".
My GF can fold the fitted sheet so that it looks like the flat one. I’ve watched her do it and still can’t figure it out, totally like sleight-of-hand magic.
The correct way to fold sheets: open the matching pillowcase. Shove the sheets inside it. Done!
Well, I fold them so they're less wrinkly, but I do store the set in one of the pillowcases. It keeps the sets together and I don't have to fold things all that neatly.
Load More Replies...Arguments about little things like this are never really what the issue is. There's always something deeper.
I had that same exact arguments for years with my ex. I always refolded his. Finally I switched, and decided I kinda liked it his way. After ten years we split. And I’m still doing it his way and angry at myself for it.
The best way to fold sheets and towels is to not fold them at all. Don't need to worry about wrinkles, so why bother?
Deeper problems on that relation. When is no love, not closing the toothpaste is a reason for divorce
Don't take this the wrong way (as a fellow pedantic introverted hermit), but I think you're perfect for each other!
I just go back and redo stuff after my husband has had a go at it...
My girlfriend and I fold towels differently. She told me once that I could fold them if I wanted to but she'd just go back and redo it. Message received.
I've just screamed on my fiance 'cause he don't (and never) turn the pans over in the sink, i hate having small pools of water in the dishes where ecosystems develop. Our wedding planning + end of school year + master thesis get me really stressed lately... He just mumbled "The premenstrual syndrome is strong this month...", abruptly defusing my highly-pressured-hormonal-hit. Help me, i want chocolate cookies and neverending naps.
I have punched two people in my sleep. I have since learnt to hug my pillow facing away from hubby
If someone did this to me I'd find it hilarious. People need a sense of humour.
Yeah, most the guys I've run across aren't into ketchup smeared all over their bodies.
Note: this post originally had 37 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
I'm single because my cat has the other pillow on my bed so there's no room for anyone else.
Don't worry there's room, our rescue dog steals pillow space quiet literally in-between my husband and I in the middle of the bed most nights. And my hubby thought she was a little rat when we got her (she's 9kg) so small but not an ickle rat. And now he gets jealous of she hugs/snuggles with me and not him. One day there will be someone who doesn't mind sharing a pillow with a cat!
Load More Replies...To each their own weirdness... you just have to look for someone whose weirdness is compatible. And, besides, there is NOTHING wrong with being single.
I don't have time for a relationship. A boyfriend requires a lot of attention, and I give all my attention to my rabbit, who is more important than a boy.
Not having time is bullcrap tho. My fiancee and i work A LOT you want to make time. There is 24 hours in a day and you have one to spare. Even if its just sitting on the couch like a bag of potatoes
Load More Replies...Some of these people are single because they are horrible judgmental people who do not apparently respect others.
Among other things, because all the men I've met refuse to moisturize.
You might notice that some have one hand that is very well moisturized, but nothing else.
Load More Replies...Because i'm disabled and autistic. I used to think that being in a couple would make me look like a "real" adult. Finally, no one would infantilize me ! This idea sadly turned into a dangerous spiral : i hated every couple i saw on the street, i called my country equivalent of "Planned Parenthood" hotline in distress over and over. I felt unattractive and weird. This continued for five years until i started to realise that i was perfect the way i was. My friends and family think so, too. Now, i am currently dating myself and she is the prettiest girl i've ever encounted. She is still struggling with self esteem issue, but she is slowly overcoming them step by step. I am so proud of her. ❤
What if the reason you're single is because... You want to be that way, right now? Is that a bad answer
I'm happily married, but if I saw these 15-20 years ago when I was single, I might've wanted to meet some of these singles. Why are these reasons you're still single?
Well... these are the reasons they tell themselves that they are still single, so they can avoid thinking about or addressing the real reason.
Load More Replies...omg i love these challenges, jimmy fallon's so funny! also when trevor noah goes on the tonight show, it was hilarious!!
I'm a better person when I'm single. And I love animals more than I love most people, so there's that too. Also, I get to spoil my niece and nephews, travel where and when I want, and have 100% control of the remote at all times. It's a personal choice and I think everyone should do what works best for them, without being judged or shamed for their choices. Everyone deserves to live their best life possible.
I initially read that as aromatic, and I was like, "oh, you smell good and that's why you're single". Yeah, I'll let myself out now.
Load More Replies...I'd happily date if I could find someone who I was mentally attracted to, loyal, time together would need to be in 1-2 hour stints, not in my house and I could get away with changing my mind about plans last minute. If I could find someone that easy going and fit me it would be an actual miracle
Because I refuse to settle. My last two relationships ended after a year and a half. The first when I realized we wanted different things out of the relationship and the other because everything was by his schedule and he barely had time for me.
Well... if you honestly believe that, maybe you should consider that there are other people out there that feel the same way. If you met an "ugly" person that you really got along with, would you be able to love them?
Load More Replies...I'm single because a) as a bisexual with a preference of women, my dating options are extremely limited and b) my cat is my life.
Extremely limited? When you're into women in general and also into (some) men. Sure. Poor you, with almost no options
Load More Replies...So, reason’s they’re still single: I’m tacky, OCD, have disgusting habits, it’s my way or the highway, I have a disturbing obsession with animals, or I need a psychiatrist. Makes sense
I'm single because my cat has the other pillow on my bed so there's no room for anyone else.
Don't worry there's room, our rescue dog steals pillow space quiet literally in-between my husband and I in the middle of the bed most nights. And my hubby thought she was a little rat when we got her (she's 9kg) so small but not an ickle rat. And now he gets jealous of she hugs/snuggles with me and not him. One day there will be someone who doesn't mind sharing a pillow with a cat!
Load More Replies...To each their own weirdness... you just have to look for someone whose weirdness is compatible. And, besides, there is NOTHING wrong with being single.
I don't have time for a relationship. A boyfriend requires a lot of attention, and I give all my attention to my rabbit, who is more important than a boy.
Not having time is bullcrap tho. My fiancee and i work A LOT you want to make time. There is 24 hours in a day and you have one to spare. Even if its just sitting on the couch like a bag of potatoes
Load More Replies...Some of these people are single because they are horrible judgmental people who do not apparently respect others.
Among other things, because all the men I've met refuse to moisturize.
You might notice that some have one hand that is very well moisturized, but nothing else.
Load More Replies...Because i'm disabled and autistic. I used to think that being in a couple would make me look like a "real" adult. Finally, no one would infantilize me ! This idea sadly turned into a dangerous spiral : i hated every couple i saw on the street, i called my country equivalent of "Planned Parenthood" hotline in distress over and over. I felt unattractive and weird. This continued for five years until i started to realise that i was perfect the way i was. My friends and family think so, too. Now, i am currently dating myself and she is the prettiest girl i've ever encounted. She is still struggling with self esteem issue, but she is slowly overcoming them step by step. I am so proud of her. ❤
What if the reason you're single is because... You want to be that way, right now? Is that a bad answer
I'm happily married, but if I saw these 15-20 years ago when I was single, I might've wanted to meet some of these singles. Why are these reasons you're still single?
Well... these are the reasons they tell themselves that they are still single, so they can avoid thinking about or addressing the real reason.
Load More Replies...omg i love these challenges, jimmy fallon's so funny! also when trevor noah goes on the tonight show, it was hilarious!!
I'm a better person when I'm single. And I love animals more than I love most people, so there's that too. Also, I get to spoil my niece and nephews, travel where and when I want, and have 100% control of the remote at all times. It's a personal choice and I think everyone should do what works best for them, without being judged or shamed for their choices. Everyone deserves to live their best life possible.
I initially read that as aromatic, and I was like, "oh, you smell good and that's why you're single". Yeah, I'll let myself out now.
Load More Replies...I'd happily date if I could find someone who I was mentally attracted to, loyal, time together would need to be in 1-2 hour stints, not in my house and I could get away with changing my mind about plans last minute. If I could find someone that easy going and fit me it would be an actual miracle
Because I refuse to settle. My last two relationships ended after a year and a half. The first when I realized we wanted different things out of the relationship and the other because everything was by his schedule and he barely had time for me.
Well... if you honestly believe that, maybe you should consider that there are other people out there that feel the same way. If you met an "ugly" person that you really got along with, would you be able to love them?
Load More Replies...I'm single because a) as a bisexual with a preference of women, my dating options are extremely limited and b) my cat is my life.
Extremely limited? When you're into women in general and also into (some) men. Sure. Poor you, with almost no options
Load More Replies...So, reason’s they’re still single: I’m tacky, OCD, have disgusting habits, it’s my way or the highway, I have a disturbing obsession with animals, or I need a psychiatrist. Makes sense