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Writing is a bit like alchemy. You take a bunch of separate elements—like grammar, style, flow, passion, creativity, story, characters, twists, and turns—and you mix them together to get the result that you want. Sometimes, your experiments pay off and you communicate your innermost ideas to your readers. Other times, you mess up and accidentally write hilarious things without meaning to.

And, boy, do people make funny blunders often! It usually has something to do with a lack of understanding of how things like the elements of punctuation work. For example, some individuals find it hard to grasp how quotation marks should be used. And when they mess up, we’re left with suspiciously-sounding sentences and unintended double entendres.

We collected some of the best such examples from the ‘“Suspiciously” Used Quotation Marks’ subreddit, so scroll down, enjoy, check out our interview with one of the community's managers, and upvote your fave sentences. Be sure to let us know which ones made you laugh the hardest!

#1

Very "Useful" Tutorial

Very "Useful" Tutorial

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#3

Starbucks Is Offering Everything These Days

Starbucks Is Offering Everything These Days

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Bored Panda spoke with Searchlights, one of the moderators for the '"Suspiciously" Used Quotation Marks' community on Reddit. We wanted to find out more about the subreddit, as well as why people misuse quotation marks.

"Misused quotation marks are something I've often noticed in daily life, and after seeing some caught-in-the-wild examples posted to subreddits like r/funny I got to thinking that it's an example of absurdity that is prevalent enough to have its own subreddit," Searchlights said about the founding of the community. "The challenges I've had in growing the subreddit has largely been a matter of time. The sub gains 10 to 15 subscribers per day organically, but on days when a post makes the front page I'll see an influx of hundreds or thousands of new subscribers. That usually happens a half a dozen times a year."

"The persistent problem with the subreddit is quality control. There are a lot of submissions that are redundant or that people just don't find to be funny."

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#6

This Is What I Think Of Your So-Called Allergy

This Is What I Think Of Your So-Called Allergy

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Bored Panda was interested to figure out why so many people find it hard to grasp how quotation marks should be used. Here's what Searchlights had to say: "I tend to think it's related to the challenge of finding nuance and tone in text. People want to emphasize a word, and for whatever reason they think putting it in quotations gets them there."

"Generally, the use of quotation marks (when they're not an actual quotation) carries a connotation of sarcasm, or of a tongue-in-cheek admission that the thing in quotes isn't actually what it's said to be. That's what has the effect of making the statement suspicious," they explained. "My favorite examples usually come from the food service industry. There's something alarming about chicken being written dubiously as "chicken" (what is it, really?)"

#7

My Husband Was Given This Notepad At His New Job. Most Discouraging Use Of Quotation Marks

My Husband Was Given This Notepad At His New Job. Most Discouraging Use Of Quotation Marks

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#9

That Is Unsettling

That Is Unsettling

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According to the Macmillan Dictionary Blog, there are some very good reasons why people misuse quotes. Usually, quotation marks (aka inverted commas) are used for quotations (wow, what a shocker!), to denote the title of a book or movie or some unfamiliar words.

What’s more, we use quotation marks to show that we’re using a word with irony or to demonstrate our skepticism. After all, if you call someone a writer in your article, it’s a compliment; on the other hand, calling them a “writer” would be an insult! The Oxford Manual of Style calls these ‘scare quotes’ and explains that writers use them to distance themselves from the words in question.

#10

You Might Want To Clarify Your Acronym A Bit

You Might Want To Clarify Your Acronym A Bit

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#12

I Don't Think I've Ever Been More Intimidated By A Piece Of Mail

I Don't Think I've Ever Been More Intimidated By A Piece Of Mail

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Now, here’s the (geeky) fun part: whereas some people stress a certain word by bolding it, underlining it or writing it in italics, certain individuals do this by putting quotation marks around them. And that’s wrong. Because most other people know that using inverted commas this way opens up the door to hidden meanings, sarcasm, and moral judgments.

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But quotation marks aren’t the only abused part of punctuation. Commas have it hard, too, you guys. In fact, they get so upset when they get ignored that they completely change the meanings of some sentences out of revenge.

Look at the sentence “Let’s go get a little Italian, baby,” courtesy of Your Dictionary. It’s clear that the speaker’s suggesting to their partner that they should go out for Italian food. But! Remove the comma and the sentence changes! Now, the speaker’s suggesting to their partner that they go find a small child from Italy. Whoops!

#13

Don't Know How I Feel About This "Plastic Surgeon"

Don't Know How I Feel About This "Plastic Surgeon"

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#14

I Don't Know If I Want To Visit This So-Called "Church" Of Yours

I Don't Know If I Want To Visit This So-Called "Church" Of Yours

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#15

Suspicious Quotes

Suspicious Quotes

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Dynein
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like not wearing one and dying might be the preferable option...

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So remember, Pandas, write Fresh Fish instead of “Fresh” Fish and I Love That Dress, Sweetheart instead of I “Love” That Dress, Sweetheart. Unless you want to lose customers or get into an argument with your spouse, that is. And remember to put commas where they’re supposed to go.

#16

Sir This Is The "Police"

Sir This Is The "Police"

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Aaron W
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The quotation marks should only be around one of those words. Doesn't matter which one.

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#17

Should I Doubt The Safety Of My Holidays?

Should I Doubt The Safety Of My Holidays?

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#20

I'd Rather Not Touch The 'Rock', Thanks

I'd Rather Not Touch The 'Rock', Thanks

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#22

Rightfully Suspicious Quotes

Rightfully Suspicious Quotes

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#24

I Always Buy My "Candy" At My Local Bowling Alley

I Always Buy My "Candy" At My Local Bowling Alley

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#27

Of Course. I Mean, What Else Would You Even Put In There

Of Course. I Mean, What Else Would You Even Put In There

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I’m Foxxy and I know it 😉
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is a shop that has bongs but sells them as “essential oil pourers” and another place advertises them as “vases”.

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#30

Hate It When You "Accidental" Salmon

Hate It When You "Accidental" Salmon

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#32

Yes, Officer, I'm "21"

Yes, Officer, I'm "21"

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Ellen Turner
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

21 feet tall? 21 deaths in Super Mario 64? 21 Kirby Plushies they sleep with?

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#35

"Specialized In Various Specialties"

"Specialized In Various Specialties"

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Firework
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is less about the quotation marks and more about what the sign says. Board-certified, specialised in various specialities.

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#37

When Looking Up What McNuggets Are Made Of

When Looking Up What McNuggets Are Made Of

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#38

Found This At A Secondhand

Found This At A Secondhand

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Lou Lopez
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What... is even happening with this thing?! It looks like it came from Engrish.com or something. My favorite part is the ominously bold font for "LAUGHTER."

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#40

Just Seen In A Microsoft Presentation. Yeah, It Sure Is

Just Seen In A Microsoft Presentation. Yeah, It Sure Is

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#42

Should I Be Worried About The Freshness Of This Meat?

Should I Be Worried About The Freshness Of This Meat?

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