Human beings are undoubtedly the dominant species on Earth, which, in hindsight, hasn’t really worked out very well for the rest of the planet. As our population continues to grow toward 10 billion and our destructive ways don’t appear to be stopping anytime soon, maybe it’s time for another species to rise up and knock us off of our perch.
Who better than cats to do the world this favor?
Twitter user Lawrence Ward – who loves nothing more than asking himself absurd hypothetical questions and putting way too much thought and analysis into the answers – dreamed up a scenario whereby cats manage to conquer first Scotland, then the UK and beyond.
Needless to say, people loved the hilarious and frivolous discussion that quickly followed and the thread soon went viral!
Lawrence, who is a salesman from Stoke-On-Trent, England, simply likes to entertain himself with these scenarios when he is bored or in an otherwise negative frame of mind. He loves animals, and most of his random thought experiments just naturally happen to involve them. “I’m not sure why but a lot of my time is spent over-analyzing situations nobody is ever going to find themselves in,” he told Bored Panda with a wry chuckle. “It’s often been quite tiring for people around me.”
“There’s a certain level of irritation caused by someone asking you which small animal would be most terrifying if they quintupled in size. Because no matter how switched off you are you can’t help but think about it and yet, you just know it’s a huge waste of energy.”
Yet there is method to this madness. Far from being wasted energy, Lawrence’s imaginative ‘what if’ scenarios provide people with much-needed escapism from the drudgery of everyday news and politics. “If you go through the comments and Quoted Tweets from the Scotland V Cats thread, a lot of the comments from Scots are pertaining to Brexit and independence and whatnot,” he explained.
“The internet is full of stress and analysis and when people can use that same form of analysis on something whimsical and ridiculous it provides a little bit of escapism. So many people got involved and started debunking/promoting why the cats would or would not win.”
As you can see, the conversation quickly took all kinds of funny and unexpected turns. Scroll down to see how it unfolded for yourself, and let us know your thoughts on the matter in the comments below!
I can see the cats training dogs so the feline warriors can ride them into battle.
Numbers are numbers, that guy did the maths so: LONG LIVE OUR FELINE LEADERS!!
Funny thing is... we think this is remote, but the fact is, they've already conquered us ages ago and they simply let us think we're in charge. You really think they would try to kill all the human can-openers? What a waste of labor. There is no pill to chose from, we're already in THE CATRIX!
Omg... youre so right .. I was thinking how cats already ruled over Egypt and with the Bastet. I feel sorry for dogs, they need to raise their paws and bark louder if they want to take the cat's place :P
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Should we do research about how catnip granades and cucuber launchers could work. I mean, just in case?
Technically, haven't they already taken over? I mean, when was the last time you saw cat serving a human? I think they're already in charge...
1. You're assuming that after they conquer Scotland, we'll all just sit back and watch without taking any action? (Well, fair enough. Look at today's politics to see how good we are at sitting back and watching the s**t show.) 2. Yah, we're doomed.
ah ah ah...the old "the French surrender"joke.... from a Scot, that's sad
Hey, it was meant in jest I can assure you. I'm not a Scot by the way
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There are some types of cats that like water like: the Fishing Cat, Maine C**n, Turkish Van, Turkish Angora, Bengal, American Bobtail, Japanese Bobtail, Norwegian Forest cat, Abyssinian, and Manx
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I have a cat who does not care. His sister loves it. He loves catnip. She’s a teetotaler. Lol
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Air drop a bunch of catnip. They'll be too high to organize anything.
1) I love cats. 2) I love Scotland. 3) A small detail has been missed: The cats' leader speech would be something like "Yes!, Fight and you may die. Run and you will live, at least awhile. And snuggling in your bed, many years from now... Uh." (Full stop.) =^.^=
I already have a furry overlord and overlady. Ollie and Luna are the bosses, so contest.
Well, it is quite incoherent. In order to invade Scotland, all the cats of the world that were not in Great Britain would have already used the Eurotunnel to reach Scotland. Or board on boats and such... I don't think that the migration of so many cats would be unoticed. Also many may stop on the way for a nap or settled somewhere where the humans would provide nice food... Plus maybe the Scots cat would not be very happy with the invasion of their territory. I could go on and on on that subject :D
Oh gods, all of them I don't care. My poor nose by the end of the cat crusade is going to be a mess (I'm allergic to the little beasties)
No one has mentioned here about the Scottish Wild cat, native only to Scotland. I have one but she is very old now.
How many DUM Americans still think Scotland is not in the UK or Britain? Still blame the British (English) for the clearances when the landowners were the decedents of Clan Chiefs, look at their names. During 17 and 18thC many Scots emigrated because the Highlands population was growing. Please get your facts correct before you start on about UK, Britain and Scotland.
I love this thread and welcome the kitty overlords to The States! We already have our kitty overloads but your Scottish Folds are so damn cute! I mean, look at those itty bitty ears all folded small and tiny. I could explode with cuteness!
I often did wonder if all cats were originally Scottish, as Scots and cats are the only two species to show love by headbutting each other. Don't upvote this please, I want my score to stay negative 560, I just thought it was funny.
Hey, the bloody Romans could not conquer us Scots, I doubt the cats could, they would be our allies to SMASH the Sassenachs and anyone else that got up our noses!
If you eliminate the word "cat" and substitute "Zombie", I think this is the plot to 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later combined ;-P
Thanks for all the love and for your very entertaining comments. If you enjoyed this then I invite you to go over to my twitter and read some of my other threads
Just make cat grass or catnip gas bombs and throw them at the cats they will chill out.
As an inhabitant of the U. S. in the time of Trump I welcome the conquest. Cats already own my home and I only house 11 of them, so I think the odds of their winning are better than you suggest. It is also worth noting that cats are good at sneaking up on sleeping people. I once woke up lying 80 degrees sideways with my head of the mattress and a cat across my neck.
American here too. I have three cats, so would be a partisan to their side. I think my cat Smudgy, who is the only female cat and rules the roost with an authoritative—-NOT authoritarian—-groove, would be an excellent replacement for the orangeanus we’re stuck suffering under now. (Can you tell I voted for the other candidate?)
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Someone had a bit to much of the single malt, or was it the blended one?
Did anyone think for the dogs though, won't they stop cats in their tracks? Okay nvm.. I'll hand the mic over for the dogs to bark about :P
Ever seen a kitten stand up to a German Shepherd? That is a 2 lb cat standing up to—-and in many cases either punching or swiping its razor sharp claws over the nose of—-a 100 lb dog. An animal 50 times bigger. Nah, even the toughest puppers wouldn’t stand a chance against that.
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I don't understand the logic that if 600million cats need the whole world to sustain their population, how cramming them into a cold & clammy corner of it will suddenly let them multiply to 3billion? Surely there will be fewer, as there's fewer resources? Also surely a lot of the 'traitors to the human race' that currently feed them will see the light/ change sides, shortly, depriving them further of resources? As a population biologist, I give this model a C-.
I would say I bet you’re fun at parties, but I doubt you get invited anymore.
Load More Replies... I can see the cats training dogs so the feline warriors can ride them into battle.
Numbers are numbers, that guy did the maths so: LONG LIVE OUR FELINE LEADERS!!
Funny thing is... we think this is remote, but the fact is, they've already conquered us ages ago and they simply let us think we're in charge. You really think they would try to kill all the human can-openers? What a waste of labor. There is no pill to chose from, we're already in THE CATRIX!
Omg... youre so right .. I was thinking how cats already ruled over Egypt and with the Bastet. I feel sorry for dogs, they need to raise their paws and bark louder if they want to take the cat's place :P
Load More Replies... Should we do research about how catnip granades and cucuber launchers could work. I mean, just in case?
Technically, haven't they already taken over? I mean, when was the last time you saw cat serving a human? I think they're already in charge...
1. You're assuming that after they conquer Scotland, we'll all just sit back and watch without taking any action? (Well, fair enough. Look at today's politics to see how good we are at sitting back and watching the s**t show.) 2. Yah, we're doomed.
ah ah ah...the old "the French surrender"joke.... from a Scot, that's sad
Hey, it was meant in jest I can assure you. I'm not a Scot by the way
Load More Replies... There are some types of cats that like water like: the Fishing Cat, Maine C**n, Turkish Van, Turkish Angora, Bengal, American Bobtail, Japanese Bobtail, Norwegian Forest cat, Abyssinian, and Manx
Load More Replies... I have a cat who does not care. His sister loves it. He loves catnip. She’s a teetotaler. Lol
Load More Replies... Air drop a bunch of catnip. They'll be too high to organize anything.
1) I love cats. 2) I love Scotland. 3) A small detail has been missed: The cats' leader speech would be something like "Yes!, Fight and you may die. Run and you will live, at least awhile. And snuggling in your bed, many years from now... Uh." (Full stop.) =^.^=
I already have a furry overlord and overlady. Ollie and Luna are the bosses, so contest.
Well, it is quite incoherent. In order to invade Scotland, all the cats of the world that were not in Great Britain would have already used the Eurotunnel to reach Scotland. Or board on boats and such... I don't think that the migration of so many cats would be unoticed. Also many may stop on the way for a nap or settled somewhere where the humans would provide nice food... Plus maybe the Scots cat would not be very happy with the invasion of their territory. I could go on and on on that subject :D
Oh gods, all of them I don't care. My poor nose by the end of the cat crusade is going to be a mess (I'm allergic to the little beasties)
No one has mentioned here about the Scottish Wild cat, native only to Scotland. I have one but she is very old now.
How many DUM Americans still think Scotland is not in the UK or Britain? Still blame the British (English) for the clearances when the landowners were the decedents of Clan Chiefs, look at their names. During 17 and 18thC many Scots emigrated because the Highlands population was growing. Please get your facts correct before you start on about UK, Britain and Scotland.
I love this thread and welcome the kitty overlords to The States! We already have our kitty overloads but your Scottish Folds are so damn cute! I mean, look at those itty bitty ears all folded small and tiny. I could explode with cuteness!
I often did wonder if all cats were originally Scottish, as Scots and cats are the only two species to show love by headbutting each other. Don't upvote this please, I want my score to stay negative 560, I just thought it was funny.
Hey, the bloody Romans could not conquer us Scots, I doubt the cats could, they would be our allies to SMASH the Sassenachs and anyone else that got up our noses!
If you eliminate the word "cat" and substitute "Zombie", I think this is the plot to 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later combined ;-P
Thanks for all the love and for your very entertaining comments. If you enjoyed this then I invite you to go over to my twitter and read some of my other threads
Just make cat grass or catnip gas bombs and throw them at the cats they will chill out.
As an inhabitant of the U. S. in the time of Trump I welcome the conquest. Cats already own my home and I only house 11 of them, so I think the odds of their winning are better than you suggest. It is also worth noting that cats are good at sneaking up on sleeping people. I once woke up lying 80 degrees sideways with my head of the mattress and a cat across my neck.
American here too. I have three cats, so would be a partisan to their side. I think my cat Smudgy, who is the only female cat and rules the roost with an authoritative—-NOT authoritarian—-groove, would be an excellent replacement for the orangeanus we’re stuck suffering under now. (Can you tell I voted for the other candidate?)
Load More Replies... Someone had a bit to much of the single malt, or was it the blended one?
Did anyone think for the dogs though, won't they stop cats in their tracks? Okay nvm.. I'll hand the mic over for the dogs to bark about :P
Ever seen a kitten stand up to a German Shepherd? That is a 2 lb cat standing up to—-and in many cases either punching or swiping its razor sharp claws over the nose of—-a 100 lb dog. An animal 50 times bigger. Nah, even the toughest puppers wouldn’t stand a chance against that.
Load More Replies... I don't understand the logic that if 600million cats need the whole world to sustain their population, how cramming them into a cold & clammy corner of it will suddenly let them multiply to 3billion? Surely there will be fewer, as there's fewer resources? Also surely a lot of the 'traitors to the human race' that currently feed them will see the light/ change sides, shortly, depriving them further of resources? As a population biologist, I give this model a C-.
I would say I bet you’re fun at parties, but I doubt you get invited anymore.
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