One can only imagine where the roots of puns are hidden. Was it The First Humans who mistakenly called the Saber-Toothed tiger a Lightsaber-Toothed tiger? Or maybe it all started in the Middle Ages when, by a long shot, the Trebuchet was the most powerful weapon? Or perhaps it was the era of the Renaissance when people just couldn't Handel the music of Handel? There are no answers as to when this amazingly lame form of humor was born but it has kept its popularity from the dawn of ages to this day, nonetheless.

Loser-esque yet hilarious, unbearably foolish yet clever at the same time - puns will never get boring, even if they'd be the last jokes left on Earth. Some people might consider them lame; others just don't get them at all. But we think that a good pun is always worth a good laugh. If you are on the same page then this complete collection of puns is exactly what you are looking for. From classy to sassy, these are the puns that can make anyone laugh (or roll their eyes at least). So scroll down below, vote for the funniest, and let us know what you think!

#1

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

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Foxxy
Community Member
1 year ago

haha, omg I laughed too much at this.

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#2

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me

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Michelle Muirhead
Community Member
1 year ago

What? Right between the eyes??

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#3

I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work

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Gemma Lees
Community Member
1 year ago

Come on, dole them out, we'd all benefit.

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#4

"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.

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Michelle Muirhead
Community Member
1 year ago

Frank was was fed up with Tom’s smart comments.

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#5

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it

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HANS
Community Member
1 year ago

Freeze it and then drill some holes.

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#6

I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing.”

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the Lemon Queen
Community Member
1 year ago

oh, I did this too! brings a smile to my day :)

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#7

When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic

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HANS
Community Member
1 year ago

... or well endowed!

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#8

Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea

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Dryft Cat
Community Member
1 year ago

I loove Fanta!

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#9

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen

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Foxxy
Community Member
1 year ago

Shudder, that would be mortifying.

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#10

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over

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AloofFox
Community Member
1 year ago

Not what she meant!! Haha

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#11

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally

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Dryft Cat
Community Member
1 year ago

stilldontgetitt...

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#12

Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

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Dryft Cat
Community Member
1 year ago

Literally!

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#13

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter

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Lucinda Overhoussen
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

In a few more years no smokers around to get this.

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#14

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off

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Rowlie
Community Member
1 year ago

You were their weekest link

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#15

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now

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stanstan
Community Member
1 year ago

Ha!

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#16

The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran

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Kim Bush
Community Member
1 year ago

Kinda in bad taste

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#17

My dad farted in an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels

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Meop
Community Member
1 year ago

Life has its ups and downs..

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#18

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn't find any

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Xander K Occhipinti
Community Member
1 year ago

hahaha

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#19

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu - you get what you deserve

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AloofFox
Community Member
1 year ago

I understand the joke, but can’t see the pun.

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#20

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe

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Gemma Lees
Community Member
1 year ago

This got me buzzing!

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#21

England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool

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Gemma Lees
Community Member
1 year ago

We also genuinely have a place called Cockermouth in Cumbria.

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#22

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case

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Dryft Cat
Community Member
1 year ago

correction, case(s). Just wanted to point that out, Sorry.

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#23

A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous. My dogs don’t even own bikes

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Diane Bleyer
Community Member
1 year ago

Good one

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#24

Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine

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HANS
Community Member
1 year ago

No bones about it.

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#25

All chemists know that alcohol is always a solution

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Lucinda Overhoussen
Community Member
1 year ago

In more sense than one sometimes.

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#26

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

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Laugh Fan
Community Member
1 year ago

Happens a lot on a dual carriageway near where I live!!

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#27

The furniture store keeps calling me to come back. But all I wanted was one night stand

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KittyPiano3
Community Member
1 year ago

But the furniture store couldn’t chair less ;)

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#28

A cross-eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils

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KittyPiano3
Community Member
1 year ago

How EYEronic

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#29

She had a photographic memory but never developed it

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HANS
Community Member
1 year ago

She was waiting for that 'Kodak moment'.

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#30

When the past, present, and future go camping they always argue. It's intense tense in tents

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Michelle Muirhead
Community Member
1 year ago

Well done!

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#31

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!

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Dryft Cat
Community Member
1 year ago

Idontgetitt...

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#32

Let me tell you about my grandfather. He was a good man, a brave man. He had the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo

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debrina blackmoon
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

ugh

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#33

Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and don't really care

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Victoria Rey Piuma
Community Member
1 year ago

Eh.....

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#34

My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”

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Benjamin Epstein
Community Member
1 year ago

He was right but its hard.

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#35

A mean crook going down stairs = A condescending con, descending

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Daniel (ShadowDrakken)
Community Member
1 year ago

Was this one on Citation Needed? Seems like it was...

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#36

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind

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Rowlie
Community Member
1 year ago

You were not headstrong enough

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#37

There was a kidnapping at school yesterday. Don’t worry, though - he woke up

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proof that tony stark has a ❤️
Community Member
1 year ago

Vine is dead

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#38

Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.

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Amanda Ammermann
Community Member
1 year ago

How is this not higher on the list LMAOOOOOOOOOOO

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#39

What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi

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Michelle Muirhead
Community Member
1 year ago

Ississippim, what does that make?”

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#40

How do you throw a space party? You planet

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Xander K Occhipinti
Community Member
1 year ago

what did the astronaut say when he was interviewed? No comet.

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#41

What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? Tequila mockingbird

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Gemma Lees
Community Member
1 year ago

Ale of Two Cities, A Brief History Of Wine, The Last of The Mojitos....

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#42

What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves

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Meop
Community Member
1 year ago

I sea what you did here

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#43

How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other

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Foxxy
Community Member
1 year ago (edited)

2 groups of people you can’t trust are lawyers, judges and politicians. EDIT : sorry 3 groups of people.

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#44

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve

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BusLady
Community Member
1 year ago

Watch out! Next time she might succeed.

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#45

What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays

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Victoria Rey Piuma
Community Member
1 year ago

Hihihi

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#46

Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other "how do you drive this thing?"

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BusLady
Community Member
1 year ago

2 blondes were walking in the woods when they came across some tracks. Its deer tracks. No, it's bear tracks. They were still arguing when the train hit them.

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#47

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. I’m not really a mourning person

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Gemma Lees
Community Member
1 year ago

I'd attend a funeral that early over my dead body!

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#48

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire

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BusLady
Community Member
1 year ago

It didn't suit the poor man.

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#49

I was going to make a chemistry joke, but since I'm kinda late to the thread, the good ones argon

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Rowlie
Community Member
1 year ago

I bet Your joke would be gold

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#50

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator

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Sadie Shapiro
Community Member
1 year ago

It's terrible and that's why I love it.

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#51

The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize

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Tom Hardeveld
Community Member
1 year ago

so did Gaston...

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#52

The other day I tried to make a chemistry joke, but got no reaction

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KittyPiano3
Community Member
1 year ago

That was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one

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#53

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it

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Yettichild
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

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#54

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: “That’s the last thing I need!”

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Gemma Lees
Community Member
1 year ago

I'd have to dig deep to afford one.

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#55

Need an ark? I Noah guy

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BusLady
Community Member
1 year ago

Like new. Only used for 40 days.

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#56

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed

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the Lemon Queen
Community Member
1 year ago

well I can do it in my sleep!

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#57

German sausage jokes are just the wurst

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Harleen
Community Member
1 year ago

But it doesn't matter how kind you are. German children are always kinder.

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#58

How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it

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Ryo Bakura
Community Member
1 year ago

Jew really think that's funny?

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#59

I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra... It was a booby trap

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Foxxy
Community Member
1 year ago

Ain’t that the truth, boobs feel trapped in bras. Best feeling at the end of the day is taking the bra off. Ahhhh

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#60

I used to be indecisive; now I'm not so sure

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STress the Terrible
Community Member
1 year ago

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#61

What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist

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KittyPiano3
Community Member
1 year ago

Whaddya call a vampire duck? Count quackula

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#62

Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest

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Benjamin Epstein
Community Member
1 year ago

Oh no! He’s got a stuffed animal! Run!

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#63

I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it

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Wyndmere
Community Member
1 year ago

I’m on a c food diet; candy, cookies, and cake. My brother said carrots, cauliflower, and celery are c food too. I asked him who taught him to spell.

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#64

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'

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Rowlie
Community Member
1 year ago

I bet You Polished off everything though

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#65

He who laughs last thinks slowest

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Foxxy
Community Member
1 year ago

That’s me.

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#66

Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them

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Gemma Lees
Community Member
1 year ago

They're always jumping for joy and never hopping mad!

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#67

The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. It doesn’t make any cents

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Jim Price
Community Member
1 year ago

Fix-it Felix could change that.

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#68

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine

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AloofFox
Community Member
1 year ago

Technically, grape juice is not wine... yet.

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#69

What do you call a super articulate dinosaur? A Thesaurus

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Benjamin Epstein
Community Member
1 year ago

I got a new thesaurus not only is it bad, it’s bad.

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#70

Somebody stole all my lamps… I couldn’t be more de-lighted!

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Gemma Lees
Community Member
1 year ago

That was a real lightbulb moment, really lit me up!

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#71

Why is the number six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine

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Xander K Occhipinti
Community Member
1 year ago

such an old joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#72

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs stuffed in your mailbox? Bill

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Foxxy
Community Member
1 year ago

What do you call a man in the ocean with no arms and no legs? Bob

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#73

Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!

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Kath Leen
Community Member
1 year ago

so as cats

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#74

What did one flag say to the other? Nothing, it just waved.

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Aileen
Community Member
1 year ago

Heard this same joke with two oceans.

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#75

I lost my mood ring, and I don't know how I'm feeling about that

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BusLady
Community Member
1 year ago

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#76

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars

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Marcellus the Third
Community Member
1 year ago

Rome wasn't split into two? But the Roman empire was split in an eastern (centered around Constantinople) and western empire (around Rome) --- so the pun works there.

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#77

I'm not a doctor but I'm losing my patience

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Benjamin Epstein
Community Member
1 year ago

If you are not a doctor shouldn’t you not have any to begin with?

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#78

I bought a boat because it was for sail

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Gemma Lees
Community Member
1 year ago

It really made waves when I came home with it!

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#79

Being vegetarian was a huge missed-steak

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Harleen
Community Member
1 year ago

I'm a proud member of PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals!

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#80

What would you get if you'd put a lawyer in a suit? A lawsuit

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Lilli
Community Member
1 year ago

...

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Note: this post originally had 218 images. It’s been shortened to the top 80 images based on user votes.