One can only imagine where the roots of puns are hidden. Was it The First Humans who mistakenly called the Saber-Toothed tiger a Lightsaber-Toothed tiger? Or maybe it all started in the Middle Ages when, by a long shot, the Trebuchet was the most powerful weapon? Or perhaps it was the era of the Renaissance when people just couldn't Handel the music of Handel? There are no answers as to when this amazingly lame form of humor was born but it has kept its popularity from the dawn of ages to this day, nonetheless. Loser-esque yet hilarious, unbearably foolish yet clever at the same time - puns will never get boring, even if they'd be the last jokes left on Earth. Some people might consider them lame; others just don't get them at all. But we think that a good pun is always worth a good laugh. If you are on the same page then this complete collection of puns is exactly what you are looking for. From classy to sassy, these are the puns that can make anyone laugh (or roll their eyes at least). So scroll down below, vote for the funniest, and let us know what you think!

#1

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

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Foxxy 2 months ago

haha, omg I laughed too much at this.

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#2

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me

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María Hermida 2 months ago (edited)

😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄 That's me!!!

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#3

"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.

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Michelle Muirhead 2 months ago

Frank was was fed up with Tom’s smart comments.

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#4

I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work

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Gemma Lees 2 months ago

Come on, dole them out, we'd all benefit.

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#5

When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic

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HANS 2 months ago

... or well endowed!

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#6

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it

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HANS 2 months ago

Freeze it and then drill some holes.

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#7

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen

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Foxxy 2 months ago

Shudder, that would be mortifying.

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#8

I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing.”

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Withnail 2 months ago

While you're singing Ice Ice Baby?

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#9

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally

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Rowlie 2 months ago

Stealing this one

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#10

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter

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Lucinda Overhoussen 2 months ago (edited)

In a few more years no smokers around to get this.

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#11

Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea

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Withnail 2 months ago

Is this the real life...?

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#12

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over

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KittyPiano3 2 months ago

I guess they appreciate the gravity of the situation (not)

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#13

Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

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Rowlie 2 months ago

Listening to the Wind of Change

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#14

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now

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Rowlie 2 months ago

Seems like not much was left of him

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#15

The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran

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Kim Bush 2 months ago

Kinda in bad taste

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#16

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off

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Laugh Fan 2 months ago

It wasn't a leap year?

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#17

My dad farted in an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels

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Meop 2 months ago

Life has its ups and downs..

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#18

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe

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Gemma Lees 2 months ago

This got me buzzing!

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#19

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case

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Gemma Lees 2 months ago

It caused me a lot of baggage but I must carry on.

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#20

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn't find any

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Xander K Occhipinti 2 months ago

hahaha

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#21

All chemists know that alcohol is always a solution

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BusLady 2 months ago

But not good solution, for some. :-(

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#22

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu - you get what you deserve

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AloofFox 2 months ago

I understand the joke, but can’t see the pun.

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#23

England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool

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Gemma Lees 2 months ago

We also genuinely have a place called Cockermouth in Cumbria.

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#24

Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine

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HANS 2 months ago

No bones about it.

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#25

She had a photographic memory but never developed it

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HANS 2 months ago

She was waiting for that 'Kodak moment'.

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#26

A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous. My dogs don’t even own bikes

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Diane Bleyer 2 months ago

Good one

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#27

The furniture store keeps calling me to come back. But all I wanted was one night stand

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Gemma Lees 2 months ago

I could table a meeting with the chair of their sideboard.

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#28

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

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BusLady 2 months ago

Or in the wrong country.

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#29

A cross-eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils

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Gemma Lees 2 months ago

Eye see what you did there!

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#30

Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and don't really care

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Hope Floats 2 months ago

"Ignorance" and Apathy" summed up..Ha ha ha...

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#31

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!

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Jim Price 2 months ago

Weird Al used this in his movie "UHF"... and the janitorial staff was oriental.

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#32

When the past, present, and future go camping they always argue. It's intense tense in tents

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Michelle Muirhead 2 months ago

Well done!

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#33

A mean crook going down stairs = A condescending con, descending

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Victoria Rey Piuma 2 months ago

Oooh, sophisticated

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#34

Let me tell you about my grandfather. He was a good man, a brave man. He had the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo

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Tarsha 2 months ago

hehehe. Eyes of an eagle and wasn't allowed back in America.

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#35

My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”

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Twenty øne doggos 2 months ago

I think I saw this on a Reddit thread or something. I remember that someone completely missed the joke.

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#36

What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi

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SprinkleDrop 2 months ago

😂

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#37

Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.

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Tarsha 2 months ago

Luck of the Irish. (Say it like a leprechaun.)

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#38

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind

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Rowlie 2 months ago

You were not headstrong enough

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#39

What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? Tequila mockingbird

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Gemma Lees 2 months ago

Ale of Two Cities, A Brief History Of Wine, The Last of The Mojitos....

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#40

How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other

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Foxxy 2 months ago (edited)

2 groups of people you can’t trust are lawyers, judges and politicians. EDIT : sorry 3 groups of people.

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#41

How do you throw a space party? You planet

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Xander K Occhipinti 2 months ago

what did the astronaut say when he was interviewed? No comet.

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#42

There was a kidnapping at school yesterday. Don’t worry, though - he woke up

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Red 2 months ago

that went from 100000 to 0 real quick

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#43

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve

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That One Guy 2 months ago

Cough Cough Grunkle Stan Cough Cough

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#44

What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves

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Meop 2 months ago

I sea what you did here

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#45

I was going to make a chemistry joke, but since I'm kinda late to the thread, the good ones argon

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KittyPiano3 2 months ago

FUN FACT: cats are made of iron, lithium, and neon. FeLiNe

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#46

Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other "how do you drive this thing?"

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BusLady 2 months ago

2 blondes were walking in the woods when they came across some tracks. Its deer tracks. No, it's bear tracks. They were still arguing when the train hit them.

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#47

What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays

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Victoria Rey Piuma 2 months ago

Hihihi

#48

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. I’m not really a mourning person

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Gemma Lees 2 months ago

I'd attend a funeral that early over my dead body!

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#49

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire

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BusLady 2 months ago

It didn't suit the poor man.

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#50

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: “That’s the last thing I need!”

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Gemma Lees 2 months ago

I'd have to dig deep to afford one.

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#51

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it

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Rowlie 2 months ago

I'm crazy about this one

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#52

German sausage jokes are just the wurst

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Harleen 2 months ago

But it doesn't matter how kind you are. German children are always kinder.

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#53

The other day I tried to make a chemistry joke, but got no reaction

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KittyPiano3 2 months ago

That was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one

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#54

The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize

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Tom Hardeveld 2 months ago

so did Gaston...

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#55

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed

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the Lemon Queen 2 months ago

well I can do it in my sleep!

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#56

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator

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Sadie Shapiro 2 months ago

It's terrible and that's why I love it.

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#57

What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist

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KittyPiano3 2 months ago

Whaddya call a vampire duck? Count quackula

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#58

Need an ark? I Noah guy

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BusLady 2 months ago

Like new. Only used for 40 days.

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#59

I used to be indecisive; now I'm not so sure

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STress the Terrible 2 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

#60

Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest

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Benjamin Epstein 2 months ago

Oh no! He’s got a stuffed animal! Run!

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#61

How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it

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Ryo Bakura 2 months ago

Jew really think that's funny?

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#62

I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it

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Wyndmere 2 months ago

I’m on a c food diet; candy, cookies, and cake. My brother said carrots, cauliflower, and celery are c food too. I asked him who taught him to spell.

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#63

He who laughs last thinks slowest

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Jim Price 2 months ago

He who laughs last didn't get the joke.

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#64

I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra... It was a booby trap

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Foxxy 2 months ago

Ain’t that the truth, boobs feel trapped in bras. Best feeling at the end of the day is taking the bra off. Ahhhh

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#65

Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!

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KittyPiano3 2 months ago

What about the fox-trot

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#66

Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them

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Gemma Lees 2 months ago

They're always jumping for joy and never hopping mad!

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#67

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'

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Rowlie 2 months ago

I bet You Polished off everything though

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#68

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine

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AloofFox 2 months ago

Technically, grape juice is not wine... yet.

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#69

What do you call a super articulate dinosaur? A Thesaurus

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Benjamin Epstein 2 months ago

I got a new thesaurus not only is it bad, it’s bad.

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#70

Why is the number six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine

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Xander K Occhipinti 2 months ago

such an old joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#71

The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. It doesn’t make any cents

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Jim Price 2 months ago

Fix-it Felix could change that.

#72

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs stuffed in your mailbox? Bill

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Foxxy 2 months ago

What do you call a man in the ocean with no arms and no legs? Bob

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#73

What did one flag say to the other? Nothing, it just waved.

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Aileen 2 months ago

Heard this same joke with two oceans.

#74

I lost my mood ring, and I don't know how I'm feeling about that

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Carol Emory 2 months ago (edited)

Guy walks into a bar and lays a dead giraffe on the floor. The bartender says "Hey..what's that lyin' there." The man said "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

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#75

Somebody stole all my lamps… I couldn’t be more de-lighted!

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Gemma Lees 2 months ago

That was a real lightbulb moment, really lit me up!

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#76

I bought a boat because it was for sail

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Gemma Lees 2 months ago

It really made waves when I came home with it!

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#77

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars

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Marcellus the Third 2 months ago

Rome wasn't split into two? But the Roman empire was split in an eastern (centered around Constantinople) and western empire (around Rome) --- so the pun works there.

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#78

I'm not a doctor but I'm losing my patience

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BusLady 2 months ago

Well, if you're not a doctor, that's probably why. Practicing without a licence is ill-legal.

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#79

Being vegetarian was a huge missed-steak

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Harleen 2 months ago

I'm a proud member of PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals!

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#80

What would you get if you'd put a lawyer in a suit? A lawsuit

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Lilli 2 months ago

...

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#81

How did Harry Potter come down the hill? Walking. Jk... Rolling

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Dani 2 months ago

This is hilarious! Should be higher!

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#82

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blown away by the leaf blower

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BusLady 2 months ago

And they all got out of the way of the lawnmower so they wouldn't get mowed down.

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#83

When driving past a cemetery he said: "Wow, people are dying to go there!"

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Foxxy 2 months ago

My hubby says this all the time, it gets a bit old lol.

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#84

What did the beach say as the tide came in? Long time, no sea

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Gemma Lees 2 months ago

Why did the sand blush? Because the sea weed.

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#85

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it

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Michelle Muirhead 2 months ago

Ouch!

#86

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana

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Cheryl Wilcox 2 months ago

So Chompsky on that.

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#87

There was this kid in my class who wouldn't laugh at anything. So I told him 10 jokes in hopes that they would make him laugh but no pun in ten did

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Kevin Kennedy 2 months ago

I like my version more, thoughts? : There was this man who wouldn't laugh at anything. So I told him 10 puns, in hopes that they would make him laugh, but, no pun in ten did

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#88

What did the volcano say to his wife? I lava you

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#89

My 9-year-old and I passed a store with a sign that read “Watch Batteries Installed - $5.” He seemed confused: “Who would pay to watch batteries installed?”

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#90

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy

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Harleen 2 months ago

I read a horror book in braille once. I could really feel the suspense!

#91

My skiing skills are really going downhill

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Jim Price 2 months ago

Had a friend once who wanted to try water skiing... he gave up because he couldn't find a sloping sea.

#92

I'm so bright, my mother calls me "son"

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Tom Hardeveld 2 months ago (edited)

I'm so bright nobody wants to look at me for very long

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#93

Change is inevitable, except from vending machines

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#94

My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violins

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BusLady 2 months ago

I hope she didn't give you a percussion.

#95

What do you call a Spanish pig? Porque

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Jim Price 2 months ago

"But why?"

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#96

"I only have spades, diamonds, and clubs," Tom said heartlessly

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#97

"I dedicate this to my dad, who was a roofer. Dad, if you're up there..."

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BusLady 2 months ago

Looking down from that giant ladder in the sky. Was his name Jacob by any chance?

#98

When I went to college I was going to join the debating team but someone talked me out of it

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Harleen 2 months ago

Was it a mass debate team? SORRY, I had to!!! (Please delete if jokes like this aren't allowed... but I thought it was funny :P )

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#99

I was reading a book about anti-gravity; I couldn't put it down!

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BusLady 2 months ago (edited)

Just drop it! ...Oh, weight....

#100

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name

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Skye Ramadge 2 months ago

?

#101

How do turtles communicate with each other? With shell phones

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Gemma Lees 2 months ago

There's only one girl the turtle will carry on his back, Michelle.

#102

How do you invite a dinosaur for lunch? Tea, Rex?

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BusLady 2 months ago

Dinner, Saur?

#103

I just had a near-sex experience… My whole wife flashed before my eyes

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#104

How did the picture end up in jail? It was framed

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#105

I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said Wii!

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#106

Why is Queen considered a rock group when Mercury is a heavy metal?

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#107

Why was the king one foot tall? Because he was a RULER!

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BusLady 2 months ago

He didn't believe in metric. He was an Emperialist.

#108

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?”

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BusLady 2 months ago

"Nah. Quit clowning around." .

#109

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside

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Wyndmere 2 months ago

A friend opened a Beauty Parlor named “Curl Up and Dye”.

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#110

A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence

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Gemma Lees 2 months ago

Some ex-criminals feel punctuation marked for life.

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#111

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now

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#112

It was raining cats and dogs. I stepped into a poodle

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#113

What did the mermaid wear to math class? An algae-bra

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BusLady 2 months ago

Or bra and panty? A mathing set.

#114

What’s it called when you put a cow in an elevator? Raising the steaks

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#115

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing

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AloofFox 2 months ago

A classic.

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#116

Why do French people eat snails? Because they won’t touch fast food

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BusLady 2 months ago

Do they also eat Turtle soup?

#117

A man tells his doctor: “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!” The doctor replies: “Sorry, I don’t follow you…”

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#118

Proper punctuation can make the difference between a sentence that's well-written and a sentence that's, well, written

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Jim Price 2 months ago

"Let's eat grandma."

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#119

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta

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#120

I have the body of a 17 year old... in my trunk

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BusLady 2 months ago

A word of advice: don't post that on social media.

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#121

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read

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Cris Şerbu 2 months ago

Groucho Marx

#122

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words

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#123

I only know 25 letters of the alphabet; I don't know why

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Kevin Kennedy 2 months ago

should be: I onl know 25 letters of the alphabet; I don't know wh

#124

I'm addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop any time

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#125

My dad brought home a feral tiger without telling my mom first; it's tearing our family apart

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#126

Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow

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#127

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink

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BusLady 2 months ago

I hope he had Dr. Pepper on speed dial.

#128

What do you call a laughing motorcycle? A Yamahahaha

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BusLady 2 months ago

What do you call a drunk motorcycle? A Kawa-saki.

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#129

What did Al Gore play on his guitar? An Algorithm

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Lerrinus 2 months ago

Out! Just get out! *points at door* Groan!

#130

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up

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#131

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds

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#132

Why are there no cats on Mars? Because of Curiosity

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#133

I was going to be a mortician but they told me it was a dying trade

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#134

What did the necromancer use to style his hair? A catacomb

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#135

And then it hit me; I really shouldn't call my wife "it"

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#136

Why was King Arthur’s army too tired to fight? All of those sleepless knights

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Benjamin Epstein 2 months ago

There were also all the knights to sad the fight. They were the lonely knights.

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#137

What’s so great about whiteboards? If you think about it, they’re pretty re-markable!

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BusLady 2 months ago

Unless you screw up and grab a Sharpie by mistake.

#138

I’ve got a phobia of over-engineered buildings. It’s a complex complex complex

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#139

I wanted to take pictures of the fog this morning, but I mist my chance. I guess I could dew it tomorrow!

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GFSTaylor 2 months ago

Did you hear about the fool who took his girlfriend out in the fog and mist ?

#140

What do you call a thieving alligator? A crookodile

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#141

What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear

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BusLady 2 months ago

Brief showers expected...

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#142

What is Forrest Gump’s email password? 1Forrest1

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#143

Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out

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#144

The energizer bunny went to jail. He was charged with battery

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BusLady 2 months ago

...and banging the drums.

#145

What’s it called when you have too many aliens? Extraterrestrials

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BusLady 2 months ago

Unidentified Flying Obstacles.

#146

Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo

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BusLady 2 months ago

Ha-wail-ii

#147

I knew I was destined to be a psychologist not a magician when I pulled a habit out of a rat

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BusLady 2 months ago

And discovered you had dyslexia?

#148

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting him for his birthday? He could sense his presence

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BusLady 2 months ago

BTW, Luke, Father's Day is coming up.

#149

I think the biggest joke in life is that lawyers can't judge you

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#150

Mary had a little lamb and a side of mashed potatoes

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Jim Price 2 months ago

Mary had a little lamb, and the doctor fainted.

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#151

Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off

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#152

I bought some shoes on the drug black market. I don’t know what they’re laced with, but I’ve been tripping all day

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BusLady 2 months ago

Were they High Tops?

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#153

I couldn’t remember how to throw a boomerang but it came back to me

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BusLady 2 months ago

...and smacked me in the jaw.

#154

What do cows tell each other at bedtime? Dairy tales

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Jim Price 2 months ago

I feel as though you're milking this one.

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#155

What do you call a tissue that is sleeping? A napkin

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Kiss Army 1 month ago

How do you make a tissue dance? (Put a little boogie in it!)

#156

The lumberjack loved his new computer. He especially enjoyed logging in

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#157

I don't see the humor in blind jokes

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Jim Price 2 months ago

How did Helen Keller burn her hands?... She tried to read the waffle iron.

#158

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying outside your front door? Matt

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meow point1 2 months ago

What does Matt drink? Ampu-tea.

#159

What do you call a line of rabbits marching backwards? A receding hairline

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Jim Price 2 months ago

If they're doing it against their will during the worst of summer, they're hot, cross, bunnies.

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#160

Why did the storm trooper end up with an iPhone? Because he couldn't find the droid he was looking for

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#161

How many times should you tickle a squid to laugh? Ten tickles

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#162

Shout out to sidewalks for keeping me off the streets

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BusLady 2 months ago

That's because they're Bored walks.

#163

Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine

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Gemma Lees 2 months ago

So he didn't need a cat scan? An undiagnosed illness could be catastrophic.

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#164

Apple is designing a new automatic car. But they’re having trouble installing Windows

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#165

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck

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the Lemon Queen 2 months ago

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? Me :P

#166

I told my mom I was going to make a bike out of spaghetti, you should have seen her face when I rode straight pasta

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#167

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!

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KittyPiano3 2 months ago

Pretty cheesy, but it’s grate

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#168

One of the less difficult blanks to fill in on our job-agency application is "Position Wanted." One job seeker wrote "Sitting."

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BusLady 2 months ago

He was lie-ing.

#169

I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash

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#170

What does a spy do in the rain? He goes undercover

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#171

I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes

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William Bonner 2 months ago

There's something you lose as you get older, but I can't remember what it is.

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#172

Why didn’t the lion win the race? Because he was racing a cheetah

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#173

Being struck by lightning is a shocking experience

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Monika Soffronow 2 months ago

Truly electrifying.

#174

People are choosing cremation over traditional burial. It shows that they are thinking out of the box

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KittyPiano3 2 months ago

They just want a smokin’ hot body

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#175

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was brilliant

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#176

Why don’t vampires go to barbecues? They don’t like steak

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#177

People don't like jokes about electrons because they're taken negatively

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Jim Price 2 months ago

You positive about that?

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#178

On the other hand, you have different fingers

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#179

I accidentally went to bed with my contact lenses in the other night. My dreams have never been clearer

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#180

What do you call an overweight psychic? A four-chin teller

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#181

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up on its own? It was two tired

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#182

What did the buffalo say to his son? Bison

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#183

I love you from my head tomatoes

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#184

Last time I got caught stealing a calendar. I got 12 months

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BusLady 2 months ago

You're lucky it wasn't one of those 18-month calendars.

#185

If you are always straightening things, you have OCD. If you are always eating things, you have OBCD

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Jim Price 2 months ago

That one's EZ2C.

#186

I dug up a worm for fishing. It's the end of the line for him

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#187

I don't trust these stairs because they're always up to something

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BusLady 2 months ago

What goes up, must come down.

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#188

The first time I used an elevator it was really uplifting, then it let me down

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#189

My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast

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Jim Price 2 months ago

It's gonna cost a lotta bread to reopen.

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#190

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? You are too young to smoke

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BusLady 2 months ago

But Dad, it's Kool.

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#191

Why did the rubber chicken cross the road? She wanted to stretch her legs.

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#192

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans"

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BusLady 2 months ago

"I spend all my time just lying a round.

#193

I used to have an ant farm... Those critters didn't grow a thing!

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#194

My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks

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Kevin Kennedy 2 months ago

....Whoops...oh, wait.... that is my vacuum, and it blows.

#195

What kind of cats like to go bowling? Alley cats

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#196

Is your iPad making you fall asleep? I can help - there’s a nap for that

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#197

What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the refrigerator? “Hey, close the door! I’m dressing!"

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