One can only imagine where the roots of puns are hidden. Was it The First Humans who mistakenly called the Saber-Toothed tiger a Lightsaber-Toothed tiger? Or maybe it all started in the Middle Ages when, by a long shot, the Trebuchet was the most powerful weapon? Or perhaps it was the era of the Renaissance when people just couldn't Handel the music of Handel? There are no answers as to when this amazingly lame form of humor was born but it has kept its popularity from the dawn of ages to this day, nonetheless. Loser-esque yet hilarious, unbearably foolish yet clever at the same time - puns will never get boring, even if they'd be the last jokes left on Earth. Some people might consider them lame; others just don't get them at all. But we think that a good pun is always worth a good laugh. If you are on the same page then this complete collection of puns is exactly what you are looking for. From classy to sassy, these are the puns that can make anyone laugh (or roll their eyes at least). So scroll down below, vote for the funniest, and let us know what you think!

#1

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

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Foxxy 2 weeks ago

haha, omg I laughed too much at this.

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#2

I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me

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María Hermida 1 week ago (edited)

😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄 That's me!!!

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#3

"I have a split personality," said Tom, being frank.

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Michelle Muirhead 2 weeks ago

Frank was was fed up with Tom’s smart comments.

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#4

I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work

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Gemma Lees 2 weeks ago

Come on, dole them out, we'd all benefit.

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#5

When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic

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HANS 2 weeks ago

... or well endowed!

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#6

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it

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HANS 2 weeks ago

Freeze it and then drill some holes.

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#7

I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says “The Titanic is syncing.”

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Withnail 2 weeks ago

While you're singing Ice Ice Baby?

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#8

Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen

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Foxxy 2 weeks ago

Shudder, that would be mortifying.

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#9

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally

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Rowlie 2 weeks ago

Stealing this one

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#10

What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter

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Lucinda Overhoussen 2 weeks ago (edited)

In a few more years no smokers around to get this.

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#11

Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea

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Withnail 2 weeks ago

Is this the real life...?

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#12

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over

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KittyPiano3 1 week ago

I guess they appreciate the gravity of the situation (not)

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#13

Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”

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Rowlie 2 weeks ago

Listening to the Wind of Change

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#14

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now

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Rowlie 2 weeks ago

Seems like not much was left of him

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#15

The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran

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Kim Bush 2 weeks ago

Kinda in bad taste

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#16

I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off

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Laugh Fan 1 week ago

It wasn't a leap year?

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#17

My dad farted in an elevator, it was wrong on so many levels

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Meop 1 week ago

Life has its ups and downs..

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#18

What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe

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Gemma Lees 1 week ago

This got me buzzing!

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#19

I tried to sue the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case

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Gemma Lees 1 week ago

It caused me a lot of baggage but I must carry on.

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#20

I went to buy some camouflage trousers yesterday but couldn't find any

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Xander K Occhipinti 2 weeks ago

hahaha

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#21

All chemists know that alcohol is always a solution

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BusLady 1 week ago

But not good solution, for some. :-(

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#22

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu - you get what you deserve

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AloofFox 2 weeks ago

I understand the joke, but can’t see the pun.

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#23

England doesn't have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool

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Gemma Lees 1 week ago

We also genuinely have a place called Cockermouth in Cumbria.

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#24

Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine

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HANS 2 weeks ago

No bones about it.

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#25

She had a photographic memory but never developed it

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HANS 2 weeks ago

She was waiting for that 'Kodak moment'.

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#26

A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous. My dogs don’t even own bikes

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Diane Bleyer 1 week ago

Good one

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#27

The furniture store keeps calling me to come back. But all I wanted was one night stand

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Gemma Lees 1 week ago

I could table a meeting with the chair of their sideboard.

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#28

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane

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BusLady 1 week ago

Or in the wrong country.

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#29

A cross-eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils

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Gemma Lees 1 week ago

Eye see what you did there!

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#30

What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? SUPPLIES!

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Jim Price 1 week ago

Weird Al used this in his movie "UHF"... and the janitorial staff was oriental.

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#31

Is it ignorance or apathy that's destroying the world today? I don't know and don't really care

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Hope Floats 1 week ago

"Ignorance" and Apathy" summed up..Ha ha ha...

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#32

When the past, present, and future go camping they always argue. It's intense tense in tents

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Michelle Muirhead 2 weeks ago

Well done!

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#33

A mean crook going down stairs = A condescending con, descending

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Victoria Rey Piuma 1 week ago

Oooh, sophisticated

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#34

Let me tell you about my grandfather. He was a good man, a brave man. He had the heart of a lion, and a lifetime ban from the zoo

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Tarsha 2 weeks ago

hehehe. Eyes of an eagle and wasn't allowed back in America.

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#35

My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type… His last words to us were, “Be positive!”

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Twenty øne doggos 1 week ago

I think I saw this on a Reddit thread or something. I remember that someone completely missed the joke.

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#36

What do you call the wife of a hippie? A Mississippi

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SprinkleDrop 1 week ago

😂

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#37

Which country’s capital has the fastest-growing population? Ireland. Every day it’s Dublin.

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Tarsha 2 weeks ago

Luck of the Irish. (Say it like a leprechaun.)

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#38

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind

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Rowlie 2 weeks ago

You were not headstrong enough

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#39

What do you get when you mix alcohol and literature? Tequila mockingbird

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Gemma Lees 1 week ago

Ale of Two Cities, A Brief History Of Wine, The Last of The Mojitos....

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#40

How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other

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Foxxy 2 weeks ago (edited)

2 groups of people you can’t trust are lawyers, judges and politicians. EDIT : sorry 3 groups of people.

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#41

How do you throw a space party? You planet

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Xander K Occhipinti 2 weeks ago

what did the astronaut say when he was interviewed? No comet.

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#42

There was a kidnapping at school yesterday. Don’t worry, though - he woke up

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Red 1 week ago

that went from 100000 to 0 real quick

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#43

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve

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That One Guy 1 week ago

Cough Cough Grunkle Stan Cough Cough

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#44

What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves

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Meop 1 week ago

I sea what you did here

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#45

Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other "how do you drive this thing?"

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BusLady 1 week ago

2 blondes were walking in the woods when they came across some tracks. Its deer tracks. No, it's bear tracks. They were still arguing when the train hit them.

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#46

What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays

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Victoria Rey Piuma 1 week ago

Hihihi

#47

I was going to make a chemistry joke, but since I'm kinda late to the thread, the good ones argon

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KittyPiano3 1 week ago

FUN FACT: cats are made of iron, lithium, and neon. FeLiNe

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#48

I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. I’m not really a mourning person

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Gemma Lees 1 week ago

I'd attend a funeral that early over my dead body!

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#49

What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire

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BusLady 1 week ago

It didn't suit the poor man.

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#50

I saw an ad for burial plots, and I thought: “That’s the last thing I need!”

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Gemma Lees 1 week ago

I'd have to dig deep to afford one.

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#51

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it

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Rowlie 2 weeks ago

I'm crazy about this one

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#52

German sausage jokes are just the wurst

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Harleen 2 weeks ago

But it doesn't matter how kind you are. German children are always kinder.

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#53

The guy who invented the door knocker got a no-bell prize

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Tom Hardeveld 1 week ago

so did Gaston...

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#54

The other day I tried to make a chemistry joke, but got no reaction

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KittyPiano3 1 week ago

That was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one

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#55

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed

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the Lemon Queen 2 weeks ago

well I can do it in my sleep!

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#56

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator

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Sadie Shapiro 1 week ago

It's terrible and that's why I love it.

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#57

What do you call the ghost of a chicken? A poultry-geist

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KittyPiano3 1 week ago

Whaddya call a vampire duck? Count quackula

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#58

Need an ark? I Noah guy

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BusLady 1 week ago

Like new. Only used for 40 days.

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#59

Police were called to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest

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Benjamin Epstein 2 weeks ago

Oh no! He’s got a stuffed animal! Run!

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#60

I used to be indecisive; now I'm not so sure

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STress the Terrible 1 week ago

This comment has been deleted.

#61

How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it

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Ryo Bakura 1 week ago

Jew really think that's funny?

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#62

I'm on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it

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Wyndmere 2 weeks ago

I’m on a c food diet; candy, cookies, and cake. My brother said carrots, cauliflower, and celery are c food too. I asked him who taught him to spell.

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#63

He who laughs last thinks slowest

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Jim Price 1 week ago

He who laughs last didn't get the joke.

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#64

I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra... It was a booby trap

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Foxxy 2 weeks ago

Ain’t that the truth, boobs feel trapped in bras. Best feeling at the end of the day is taking the bra off. Ahhhh

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#65

Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!

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KittyPiano3 1 week ago

What about the fox-trot

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#66

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'

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Rowlie 2 weeks ago

I bet You Polished off everything though

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#67

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine

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AloofFox 2 weeks ago

Technically, grape juice is not wine... yet.

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#68

What do you call a super articulate dinosaur? A Thesaurus

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Benjamin Epstein 2 weeks ago

I got a new thesaurus not only is it bad, it’s bad.

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#69

Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them

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Gemma Lees 1 week ago

They're always jumping for joy and never hopping mad!

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#70

Why is the number six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine

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Xander K Occhipinti 2 weeks ago

such an old joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#71

The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. It doesn’t make any cents

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Jim Price 1 week ago

Fix-it Felix could change that.

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#72

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs stuffed in your mailbox? Bill

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Foxxy 2 weeks ago

What do you call a man in the ocean with no arms and no legs? Bob

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#73

What did one flag say to the other? Nothing, it just waved.

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Aileen 1 week ago

Heard this same joke with two oceans.

#74

Somebody stole all my lamps… I couldn’t be more de-lighted!

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Gemma Lees 1 week ago

That was a real lightbulb moment, really lit me up!

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#75

I lost my mood ring, and I don't know how I'm feeling about that

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Carol Emory 1 week ago (edited)

Guy walks into a bar and lays a dead giraffe on the floor. The bartender says "Hey..what's that lyin' there." The man said "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

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#76

I bought a boat because it was for sail

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Gemma Lees 1 week ago

It really made waves when I came home with it!

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#77

I'm not a doctor but I'm losing my patience

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BusLady 1 week ago

Well, if you're not a doctor, that's probably why. Practicing without a licence is ill-legal.

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#78

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars

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Marcellus the Third 2 weeks ago

Rome wasn't split into two? But the Roman empire was split in an eastern (centered around Constantinople) and western empire (around Rome) --- so the pun works there.

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#79

Being vegetarian was a huge missed-steak

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Harleen 2 weeks ago

I'm a proud member of PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals!

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#80

What would you get if you'd put a lawyer in a suit? A lawsuit

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Lilli 1 week ago

...

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