“Farting In Front Of A Partner Leads To A Stronger Relationship.” “Crying Can Help You Lose Weight.” If these headlines sound like enough of the internet for you today, let me tell you, we've only started.
Thanks to the “Funny News Headlines” Instagram account that collects some of the worst, most bizarre and plain stupid news headlines, we have quite a collection to facepalm at today. Beware not to drink any beverages while scrolling through, since the chances of spit-take are really high.
With 231k followers, the account is gaining popularity every day, and you can see why. For anyone who appreciates the absurdity of our everyday life, this one is a treat you’ve been waiting for. Psst! More of the worst newspaper headlines await in our previous post.
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This Is Beautiful
Maybe he was really bad. In Dutch we'll call off key singing or playing "kattengejank" or cats crying. So maybe that's how he got his new audience...
It’s So Good To See The Different Fruits Unite
Amazing
After scrolling through this post, you may wonder what on earth the journalists, writers, and content creators were thinking to come up with such absurd headlines. Some of them are surely made out of pure bluntness, but others… they make you wonder. So in order to find out more about the art of headline making, we spoke to Lina Survila, an editor in chief of “Abstract Stylist” online magazine who has years of experience of working in press.
Lina started off by saying that getting your headline clicked is hard work. “Unfortunately, editors are often pressured to bring better results with each article, so headline wars have become the real deal today."
Worth A Try
Deserved?
Good One
It turns out that there's a fine line between an informative headline and a fake one, Lina argues. “First, we all need to know that headlines play a big role in Google's ranking magic. Every editor has a wish for their article to reach the top position, meaning more clicks if a user is often searching for it.”
“So because an editor wants to reach more people, they end up using trendy keywords which result in misleading headlines,” Lina explained and added that it happens more often than you’d think.
Legend
I hope there is a way for him to do things he loves. Nursing home shouldn't be prison
Depends why he is in a nursing home. If it for a debilitating mental state like Alzheimer’s where mental clarity can come and go, he should not be allowed out. But I agree that hopefully the things he loves can somehow be brought to him.
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We're not gonna take it! No we ain't gonna take it! We're not gonna take it, anymore!"
Most nursing homes are just warehousing for seniors to die. The expensive ones have "trips" to the shopping center. Neighbor is not even allowed to take her mother out for lunch. " you can sit here while she eats". They have jigsaw puzzles ( which they switch out 2x a month), and they do the same crafts as I taught my preschoolers ( How much can you do with rounded scissors, watered down white glue and glitter? the results are about the same), the staff chooses which family friendly shows to watch, and they have g rated movie nights Disney is the norm. Music must be country or classical and played in the common room. Cards are allowed, but no poker nor gambling of any kind.
@ J. Normal: In that case.................please get me a suicide pill!
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First generation of Metal Heads is over the hill and still rockin' out!
We would look after him, I would give him my earplugs if he needed them.
That would be husband - when he's in his 90's. He looks like a mild mannered accountant & LOVES heavy Metal.
Escape? What is it, a prison? People should be able to go out and back when they want
He heard heavy metal and he went hell I'm half titanium why the heck not!
None of those men had any mental incapacity according to reports. I don’t think people realise that the home has custody basically. And if the latest royal commission into aged care is anything to go by with all the reports of abuse and neglect the owners should be jailed
This story is a bit miscaptioned. It was a mental institution, they were under 60, and didnt intend to go to a festival. Found in cold and dazed shape by police. https://www.nme.com/news/music/two-elderly-men-escape-nursing-home-go-german-metal-festival-2363537
They should have been free to come and go as they please, they're not in lock down.
At this stage, I'm amazed there is no temporary nursing home at W:O:A yet.
In what country are people not free to come and go from their care home as they wish? They're not prisoners.
Depends on their mental state. It would be risky for them if they had Alzheimers for instance
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"Escape"? A retirement house is not a prison, you are allowed to leave.
This Is Amazing
Legend
Meanwhile, the news headlines sometimes “sound a little harsh sometimes, as they're spoiling all articles for everyone. But poetic, beautiful headlines often don't capture the essence of the text, so people who are used to reading their news fast don't take time to appreciate it or click to see if this article is something in their interest.”
The problem is that nowadays, anything can be called news, according to Lina. “An elephant giving birth is news, a funny story about a chicken is news. It gets people's attention. You can’t blame them. If this is the content they read and actually click on it, editors will have to produce more of it.”
This Is Who I Want In Charge Of My Country
Hold Up
However, fake news is something that should be taken more seriously. Lina explained that “clickbait headlines often mislead people, and those who do not bother to open the article might mislead other people too by spreading the wrong message. For example, recently, I read that K. Reaves is married to Winona Ryder, well, it was stated in the headline, and actually, they were married in the movie.” Lina said it’s a good example of how misleading a headline can be, and in fact she would call it a case of “fake news.”
He Just Respects Mother Nature
The boss nods with admiration and says, "You have to come in after the kids have gone to school. I'm doing the same"
Legend
Lmao Tag A Vegan
Genius
Don’t Blame Them Tbh
This Kid Is Ahead Of The Game
Get Me There
Simpsons did this too! But they added barber floor hair when people came to the fire to get high.
Look How Proud He Is
You’ve Got To Limber Up
Mood
Oooof
After this happened several people, who climbed Everest, and happen to be vegan, came forward and said it's been done, not realizing themselves it was such a big deal. Her autopsy showed she died of starvation. She wasn't consuming enough calories to keep up with what she was burning. You have to be eating constantly doing such things.
Well She Looks Normal
He Looks Absolutely Dashing
Same
Got To Make Sure
Oh No
What A Legend
Genius
He Kinda Does
Fully Deserved
No Wonder They Taste So Good
Legend
I Don’t Think That’s How It Works...
Genetically possible even if parents appear White. Mom's response, though...oh my.
That’s A Lot Of Divorce Papers Right There...
Hey Panini
So Sad
That Cat Must Feel Like A King
It Was The Holy Spirit
Big Mood
I Wonder Why?
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
The ham and Pineapple pizza or known as an Hawaiian pizza was invented 40 years ago in Windsor Ontario. I love it but don't know why.....
Imagine
I mean, you'd think you'd have figured it out by 6 months: "Hey, how come my puppies aren't growing? Shouldn't they be almost full size by now?"
I Like His Jeans
I Bet They Loved Every Minute Of That
Very Helpful Drawing
Ironic
Blood doping is unfair in sports but it's a boon when traveling! Did it in the military, no jet lag, super easy time zone adjustments, and getting climatized to a tropical environment from a winter temperate one was no problem, barely an inconvenience.
There Goes My Hero
Note: this post originally had 83 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
Would have been a better read if they didn't mix real headlines with spoofs the whole time.
Well, that was a bunch of crap. Barely satire, nasty fake news, and possibly true but hardly 'news'.
I'm surprised this headline didn't make it (I linked the Snopes article because it sounds too funny to be true): https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/k9-dog-cow-deputy/
So many were fake headlines, meant to be funny (sadly, many weren't even that). Stupid. That's why "everyone can be a BP author" is complete BS.
Would have been a better read if they didn't mix real headlines with spoofs the whole time.
Well, that was a bunch of crap. Barely satire, nasty fake news, and possibly true but hardly 'news'.
I'm surprised this headline didn't make it (I linked the Snopes article because it sounds too funny to be true): https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/k9-dog-cow-deputy/
So many were fake headlines, meant to be funny (sadly, many weren't even that). Stupid. That's why "everyone can be a BP author" is complete BS.
