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Some Scriptwriters Have An Impeccable Sense Of Humor And Here Are 40 Movie Quotes That Prove That
Let’s admit it, we all have a compartment in our brains where we keep all the fun stuff that we’ve once heard, read, or seen. Inside that compartment, there’s a smaller one dedicated entirely to funny movie quotes that, undoubtedly, opens up like Pandora’s box at the most inconvenient of times. Let’s say it’s your first day at a new job and you suddenly decide to greet someone with ‘Oh hi, Mark!’ Or maybe it’s your kid’s pet fish’s funeral, and somehow you choose to yell out ‘Hasta La Vista, baby!’ And God forbid you’ve decided to greet a cashier with Valar Morgulis, and now they think a public place is not where you are supposed to be. I, for one, upon hearing the word Royal, always, without even thinking, add in ‘with cheese’, and it is especially un-funny when the talk is about a real-life Queen. Well, funny to me because I know what I’m quoting, so it’s like an inside joke with myself.
We do not doubt that upon reading some of these funny quotes, you will feel a massive surge of nostalgia for the movies you watched decades ago, like Airplane!, Legally Blonde, and Ace Ventura. Thankfully, there’s this thing called the internet now, where you can always find your beloved movies to watch and re-watch them again and again. But the newer classics aren’t that far from these legends with quotable material, so you’ll also find hilarious quotes from Napoleon Dynamite, Guardians of the Galaxy, and 21 Jump Street. From very old movies to the newest, from comedies to thrillers, there’s always a witty quote that you just might use at one point or another.
So, dust off your brain compartment labeled ‘funny movie quotes,’ make some space for new material, and delve into our Compendium of Hilarity. Give your vote for one of these famous quotes, and don’t forget to tell your friends that fetch will never happen if they don’t read this article.
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"Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." -The Insulting Frenchman to King Arthur when he and his knights arrive at the castle.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
“[While looking at a very large castle] Do you think maybe he's compensating for something?” — Shrek.
Shrek
Farquad looked amazingly like Michael Eisner, the CEO of Disney. He was not well liked.
"It's just a flesh wound." — The Black Knight to King Arthur, after losing both arms in the heat of combat.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." - Inigo Montoya to Vizzini after he utters "inconceivable" one too many times.
The Princess Bride
”I'm not even supposed to be here. I'm just "Crewman Number Six". I'm expendable. I'm the guy in the episode who dies to prove how serious the situation is. I've gotta get outta here.” - Guy Fleegman
Galaxy Quest
"Well, I tried to start a revolution, but didn't print enough pamphlets so hardly anyone turned up." - Korg.
Thor: Ragnarok
"I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."- Jessica Rabbit explaining her unfairly-earned reputation to Eddie Valiant.
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
I rewatched this recently, and it was still awesome. The effects still hold up, what, 30+ years later?
"'Greater good?' I am your wife! I'm the greatest good you're ever gonna get!" — Honey to Lucius Best, also known as the superhero Frozone, who wants to bail on dinner and save the world from imminent destruction.
Incredibles
“Honey” “Yea” “Where’s my super suit” “WHAT” “I SAID WHERE IS MY SUPER SUIT”
“I am serious and don’t call me Shirley.” - Dr. Rumack responding to "Surely, you can't be serious.
Airplane!
"6:30, dinner with me—I can’t cancel that again" - The Grinch.
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
"Well, a guy who dresses up like a bat clearly has issues." — Bruce Wayne.
Batman Begins
"I'm about to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the late '90s." — Deadpool.
Deadpool
"What do you mean, he don't eat no meat? That's okay, that's okay. I make lamb." — Aunt Voula.
My Big Fat Greek Wedding
It's true though, for centuries people believed lamb was grown as a plant (Google lamb of Tartary). Since it was considered a plant, it could be eaten during meat fasts. Of course, now it's been debunked, but it's an interesting concept!
Bob: "Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately."
Peter: "I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob."
Office Space
“Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong and disposable.” - Mrs. White.
Clue
I hated her so much, it... flames. Flames, on the side of my face. Breathing... heaving breaths
"There are 106 miles to Chicago, we have a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses." - Elwood to Jake as they try to make it to their gig on time.
The Blues Brothers
"That's it, Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you, dishonor on your cow!" — Mushu.
Mulan
“I’ll have what she’s having.” - Older Woman Customer to the waiter after witnessing Sally Albright fake an orgasm in the middle of Katz's Delicatessen.
When Harry Met Sally
"I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate." - Lord Dark Helmet explaining his relationship—or lack thereof—to Lone Starr.
Spaceballs
“Nothing goes over my head. My reflexes are too fast. I would catch it.“ - Drax.
Guardians of the Galaxy
"Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass Hysteria!" - Dr. Peter Venkman trying to explain what will happen to New York if an ancient evil makes its way out of a recently-discovered gateway to another dimension.
Ghostbusters
I've used this line in teachers meetings many a time to describe in whatever situations the district found itself.
“Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.” - Steven.
Airplane!
“Insanity runs in my family... It practically gallops.“ - Mortimer.
Arsenic and Old Lace
This is one of the funniest movies/plays EVER! And yup my favorite line too!!
"It's not a man-purse. It's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one." — Alan Garner defending his sartorial choices.
The Hangover
"Oh, look. Another glorious morning. Makes me sick!” - Winifred Sanderson.
Hocus Pocus
"The best thing about visiting the President is the food! Now, since it was all free, and I wasn’t hungry but thirsty, I must’ve drank me fifteen Dr. Peppers." — Forrest Gump.
Forrest Gump
There’s shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That, that’s about it.
"Well, I've read through that handbook for the recently deceased. It says: "Live people ignore the strange and unusual. I, myself, am strange and unusual."- Lydia.
Beetlejuice
"Earth is amazing! There are these things called farms. They put seeds in the ground, pour water on them, and they grow into food, like pizzas!" — The Captain.
Wall-E
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here. This is the War Room!" - President Merkin Muffley breaking up a physical altercation.
Dr. Strangelove, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
“I remember it like it was yesterday. Of course, I don’t really remember yesterday all that well.” — Dory.
Finding Dory
"We need a little less Forever 21 and a little more Suddenly 42." - Maura Ellis.
Sisters
“My teacher tells me beauty is on the inside.”
“That’s just something ugly people say.” - Fletcher Reede.
Liar Liar
"What... How... Oh, look at this! Sons of the pharaohs! Give me frogs! Flies! Locusts! Anything but *you*! Compared to you, the other plagues were a joy!" — Dr. Bey.
The Mummy
"My Girl, When Ramses Destroyed Syria, That Was An Accident. You Are A Catastrophe!"
"I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight." — Emily dishing on her new "diet."
The Devil Wears Prada
“Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this town? Most of them think monogamy is some kind of wood.“ - Peggy.
The Mask
Nowadays, it is very complicated to find someone who will agree to live a mahoganymous relationship.
"He might be okay. [Beat. Huge explosion.] Well, no, probably not now." — Larry the cameraman after Phill Connors drives off a cliff with Punxastawney Phil.
Groundhog Day
"I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life. [Someone catcalls her.] I object!" — Elle Woods, in her video essay application to Harvard Law School.
Legally Blonde
"Leave the gun. Take the cannoli." — Peter Clemenza giving instructions to a mafia henchman.
The Godfather
Tommy: “Does this suit make me look fat?“
Richard: “No, your face does.”
Tommy Boy
This entire list could just be Tommy Boy quotes and we'd all be happy.
"If this relationship is ever gonna work between us, I need to feel free to party with a bunch of strangers whenever I feel like it."— Batman.
The Lego Movie
Note: this post originally had 143 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
General Beringer: Mr. McKittrick, after very careful consideration, sir, I've come to the conclusion that your new defense system sucks. McKittrick: I don't have to take that, you pig-eyed sack of sh*t. General Beringer: Oh, I was hoping for something a little better than that from you, sir. A man of your education. WarGames
Do you know what Nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution, manifested by an apropriote agent, personified in this case by an orrible c*nt. Me. - Brick Top - Snatch.
From Liar, Liar - Max testing his dad to see if he really can't lie: Max: Is wrestling real? Fletcher Reade: In the Olympics, yes. On channel 9, no.
“Hey laser lips! Your momma was a snowblower!”- Short Circuit
"K! You're back! Hey, someone said you were dead! You look good." - Worms in MIIB
"I thought you were dead." - John Fain to Jacob McCandles just before Fain dies. Hysterical culmination to a running gag throughout the movie Big Jake.
"Some things are not meant to be! Dogs shouldn't get on with cats, men shouldn't have ponytails, and your father is not meant to have a job!"—Nicole Watterson from The Amazing World of Gumball
"It's a skin disease. Not deadly, just unsightly. All the good diseases were taken." ~Medical Charity Fundraiser Lady, Dunston Checks In
Joe VS The Volcano, gal wants to get married before jumping into the volcano. He's not so sure. "What?" she asks, "it's a 30 second commitment!"
"You could not have made me the offer of your hand in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept it." Elizabeth to Mr. Darcy's first proposal - Pride & Prejudice
General Beringer: Mr. McKittrick, after very careful consideration, sir, I've come to the conclusion that your new defense system sucks. McKittrick: I don't have to take that, you pig-eyed sack of sh*t. General Beringer: Oh, I was hoping for something a little better than that from you, sir. A man of your education. WarGames
Do you know what Nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution, manifested by an apropriote agent, personified in this case by an orrible c*nt. Me. - Brick Top - Snatch.
From Liar, Liar - Max testing his dad to see if he really can't lie: Max: Is wrestling real? Fletcher Reade: In the Olympics, yes. On channel 9, no.
“Hey laser lips! Your momma was a snowblower!”- Short Circuit
"K! You're back! Hey, someone said you were dead! You look good." - Worms in MIIB
"I thought you were dead." - John Fain to Jacob McCandles just before Fain dies. Hysterical culmination to a running gag throughout the movie Big Jake.
"Some things are not meant to be! Dogs shouldn't get on with cats, men shouldn't have ponytails, and your father is not meant to have a job!"—Nicole Watterson from The Amazing World of Gumball
"It's a skin disease. Not deadly, just unsightly. All the good diseases were taken." ~Medical Charity Fundraiser Lady, Dunston Checks In
Joe VS The Volcano, gal wants to get married before jumping into the volcano. He's not so sure. "What?" she asks, "it's a 30 second commitment!"
"You could not have made me the offer of your hand in any possible way that would have tempted me to accept it." Elizabeth to Mr. Darcy's first proposal - Pride & Prejudice
