ADVERTISEMENT

There are a ton of reasons why we love the United Kingdom—from its gorgeous nature and culture to its wide-ranging cuisine and renowned literature. But something that keeps us coming back is our love for the British press with all of its ups, downs, and unique quirks. There’s honestly hardly anything better than making a big cup of tea and opening up the serious Sunday papers or going for a cheeky scroll through the digital tabloids. It’s entertaining. It’s fun. It’s off the hook!

Now that’s where the ‘Mental UK Headlines’ Twitter page comes in. A social media project that unites nearly 100k followers, the account features some of the funniest, most bizarre, and downright ludicrous news stories and headlines found in the British press. Both in the tabloids and in the more serious (digital) papers. And today we’re featuring some of their very best finds to bring a smile to your face. Just because the press isn't yellow doesn't mean it's not immune to some truly bizarre headlines.

Go on, grab yourself some biscuits and enjoy a good laugh. Don’t forget to upvote the pics that you enjoyed the most, send a few your friends’ way, and if you really love what you’re seeing, give ‘Mental UK Headlines’ a follow for some more top-tier humor.

Bored Panda got in touch with author, comedy writer, journalist, and all-around talented creative Ariane Sherine from the UK. We had a chat about tabloids, catchy headlines, and why the Brits love the sensationalist press so much. Read on for our full interview with her!

#1

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
keniangabonziza avatar
Nkotanyi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess detention would have been enough. So much sadness and depression being separated from your favorite seatmate in class.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

Journalist and comedy expert Ariane, from London, shared her thoughts about the tabloids (or the ‘red tops’ as the Brits call them) with Bored Panda.

“I think the British press, particularly the sensationalist yellow press uses a lot more wordplay, humor, and puns in headlines—and also employs shock to grab the reader,” Ariane told us.

“You’ve also got our tabloid the Daily Sport, which I wouldn’t even class as a newspaper as it’s mostly made up for entertainment and titillation!”

#2

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
troux avatar
Troux
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

We were curious to get Ariane’s take on why the British enjoy tabloids so much, whether it’s all for the sake of being entertained or if they actually believe the biased news printed there.

“I definitely think people read the Sport purely for cheeky entertainment and to look at scantily clad women, as it’s only meant for that,” the journalism expert told us.

“But a lot of people get all their news from the Sun or Star, which is a bit worrying. They definitely believe everything they read in those papers—and they shouldn’t!” she warned.

ADVERTISEMENT

Meanwhile, when it comes to writing striking headlines, Ariane said that a lot depends on the topic in question. If you care about the issues on a personal level, you’re already more likely to read the story.

She shared some of the things that journalists ought to look at when writing headlines: “What’s the human interest angle? What would grab my attention? You have to distill the story into its essence in one sentence. What makes it entertaining?”

#7

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
saragregory0508 avatar
NsG
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah, but is this a Colin or Wiggles cake? Coz that looks like Wiggles (from Sainsbury's), because otherwise this wouldn't just be a pothole, it'd be an M&S pothole.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

The ‘Mental UK Headlines’ project is fairly fresh. The account was started up on Twitter almost exactly a year ago, in April 2021. In that time, they’ve gotten the love and attention of 98.2k followers.

ADVERTISEMENT

The account shows us a few things. First of all, how much a good headline can boost our mood for the next few hours (who doesn’t love a hearty chuckle?). Secondly, there are some truly weird events going on in the world. And lastly, the British yellow press is willing to write about pretty much anything and everything for the sake of a ‘story.’ Whether that restores or destroys your faith in humanity depends on your perspective.

#11

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
keniangabonziza avatar
Nkotanyi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he hasn't hit anyone, just give him an official driving license. He proved he deserves it.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

During a previous interview, London-based comedy writer Ariane told Bored Panda that humor plays a huge role in British culture. 

“I think it is inherently witty and quirky but coupled with a huge dose of irony and self-consciousness,” she shared her thoughts about British wit with us.

ADVERTISEMENT

“[British humor is] sarcastic, petty, ridiculous, embarrassed, self-conscious, and underpinned with the knowledge and awareness of how silly Brits are,” the comedy expert explained to Bored Panda how we can define this unique sense of humor.

#17

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
gangsterghost avatar
Nathaniel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could be worse. They could have been watching Eastenders. Now get out my pub you slaaaaag!

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#18

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
saragregory0508 avatar
NsG
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They've not posted this one well, but basically, someone threatened to call social services because of her eyebrows.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

“When people think of us, they think of the Royal Family, iconic images like London buses and phone boxes, afternoon tea, period dramas, and posh people—like Hugh Grant in Richard Curtis films!” Ariane said how the world tends to think of the British.

#19

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
ahall828 avatar
Ashley Hall
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Som many people are left "crying and shaking", traumatized, or "devastated" these days.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#21

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
skara-brae avatar
Skara Brae
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She'd be a lot more recognizable if both eyes were on the same side of her nose.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

“They see us as charming and antiquated and think we're adorable. Spoiler: we're not really like this! Which they'll find out if they ever visit Britain, but I guess most people never do, so we remain cute and posh in their imaginations,” the comedy writer quipped.

Meanwhile, Lisa McLendon, the William Allen White Professor of Journalism and Mass Communications and the coordinator of the Bremner Editing Center at the University of Kansas, was kind enough to share her insights about text and how to leave an immediate impact on the audience with us during an earlier interview.

The professor said that when you have to make an immediate impression on someone, like with a sign, it’s best to focus on clarity and brevity. That’s especially important in our world where there’s a seemingly endless stream of information and shortening attention spans.

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda

"Clarity and brevity are essential. You only have a second or two to get your message across, so you want people to understand quickly with zero confusion," she told Bored Panda.

What’s more, journalism and editing expert Lisa stressed the necessity to proofread all of your work. And then getting someone else to proofread it again. It’s especially useful when you’re using text in ways that can’t be easily and cheaply edited later (like it would be online).

#28

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
veronicasjberg avatar
Tigerpacingthecage
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, we all make mistakes - sure, but you need to take responsibility for your actions. Saying "everyone does it" isn't really taking responsibility.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#29

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
popapach avatar
troufaki13
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

-"What is the purpose of your visit?" - "Well actually I'm a terrorist and I will be performing terrorist acts throughout the country" - "OK sir, enjoy your stay"

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

She also stressed that it’s important to choose the right font, with the audience in mind. It should be clear. It should be readable. It shouldn’t have your readers second-guessing what they’re looking at.

See Also on Bored Panda
#37

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
krisdargan avatar
Who Panda 420
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw this apparently it was found safely outside in a hedge. Apparently the staff were very worried about it as nature abhors a vacuum. 😂

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#42

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

#43

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
lizbeth-martin1992 avatar
Liz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw an entire box of Voodoo Doughnuts face down the other day…doughnut guts spilled everywhere…f*****g tragedy

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#45

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
gangsterghost avatar
Nathaniel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A park? You have a park? In our day all we had was a grass verge to play on and we were thankful of that!

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#46

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It should be mentioned that this little girl has Autism and struggles a lot with selective eating, which in some cases can be so severe that they would rather starve than eat something that isn't familiar or suitable for their selective tastes/texture etc.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
See Also on Bored Panda
#48

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
qahtanrama avatar
River Webb
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ngl having to pay 54 pounds for fish and chips is pretty traumatising

morel-joedee avatar
More!
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is that honestly what Londoner’s pay for fish and chips?

gangsterghost avatar
Nathaniel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm with my fellow Yorkshireman. You cannot trust Southerners down in that London.

tinyd avatar
Tiny Dancer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And this is why unnecessary rivalries continue! London prices, eh? According to the menus I checked via TripAdvisor (https://www.tripadvisor.ca/Restaurants-g186338-zfd10901-London_England-Fish_and_Chips.html), the average London price for full fish 'n' chips is between 10-17 pounds, which is about 20 bucks US. Very reasonable.

lee_kerr avatar
Lee Kerr
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was for the whole family; fish, child and mushy peas for 4 delivered. Steep compared to Yorkshire where you’d pay in the region of £30

Load More Replies...
melayahm avatar
Caroline Driver
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

London prices. Yeah. Shock for my daughter moving down there to work. But she's young, she got used to them pretty quickly.

richardryan_1 avatar
richard ryan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Earliest I remember from about 1972 or 73 fish 10 p and chips 6p

rosemarylprobert avatar
Rosemary Probert
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Celebrity chefs in other parts of Britain charge similarly ridiculous prices. If people stop pandering to their egos prices will fall.

melaniekirschnick avatar
Melanie Filmer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bloody hell, up our way it's a rip off if it costs more than a tenner!

amydoyle avatar
Amy Doyle
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For fish and chips? Where the hell did they source the fish and potatoes? Mars?

smilinghonesty avatar
Natalia A
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember when a cone of chips was 35p, scallops were 15p, and you could get fish and chips for about £2.

sofiemsalklint avatar
Sofie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, that's a lot of money. Was it made from gold fish or what? A solid gold fish and poker chips is what I expect then.

markhowell avatar
Mark Howell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am needing therapy now. The shock of hearing a Yorkshireman paid anything at all, they're tighter than a Scotsman's sporran ;o)

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#49

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
jmscargill avatar
Scagsy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've heard that she's also against photos in horizontal mode.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#50

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Note: this post originally had 70 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.