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There are a ton of reasons why we love the United Kingdom—from its gorgeous nature and culture to its wide-ranging cuisine and renowned literature. But something that keeps us coming back is our love for the British press with all of its ups, downs, and unique quirks. There’s honestly hardly anything better than making a big cup of tea and opening up the serious Sunday papers or going for a cheeky scroll through the digital tabloids. It’s entertaining. It’s fun. It’s off the hook!

Now that’s where the ‘Mental UK Headlines’ Twitter page comes in. A social media project that unites nearly 100k followers, the account features some of the funniest, most bizarre, and downright ludicrous news stories and headlines found in the British press. Both in the tabloids and in the more serious (digital) papers. And today we’re featuring some of their very best finds to bring a smile to your face. Just because the press isn't yellow doesn't mean it's not immune to some truly bizarre headlines.

Go on, grab yourself some biscuits and enjoy a good laugh. Don’t forget to upvote the pics that you enjoyed the most, send a few your friends’ way, and if you really love what you’re seeing, give ‘Mental UK Headlines’ a follow for some more top-tier humor.

Bored Panda got in touch with author, comedy writer, journalist, and all-around talented creative Ariane Sherine from the UK. We had a chat about tabloids, catchy headlines, and why the Brits love the sensationalist press so much. Read on for our full interview with her!

#1

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Nkotanyi
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess detention would have been enough. So much sadness and depression being separated from your favorite seatmate in class.

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Journalist and comedy expert Ariane, from London, shared her thoughts about the tabloids (or the ‘red tops’ as the Brits call them) with Bored Panda.

“I think the British press, particularly the sensationalist yellow press uses a lot more wordplay, humor, and puns in headlines—and also employs shock to grab the reader,” Ariane told us.

“You’ve also got our tabloid the Daily Sport, which I wouldn’t even class as a newspaper as it’s mostly made up for entertainment and titillation!”

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Troux
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids.

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We were curious to get Ariane’s take on why the British enjoy tabloids so much, whether it’s all for the sake of being entertained or if they actually believe the biased news printed there.

“I definitely think people read the Sport purely for cheeky entertainment and to look at scantily clad women, as it’s only meant for that,” the journalism expert told us.

“But a lot of people get all their news from the Sun or Star, which is a bit worrying. They definitely believe everything they read in those papers—and they shouldn’t!” she warned.

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Meanwhile, when it comes to writing striking headlines, Ariane said that a lot depends on the topic in question. If you care about the issues on a personal level, you’re already more likely to read the story.

She shared some of the things that journalists ought to look at when writing headlines: “What’s the human interest angle? What would grab my attention? You have to distill the story into its essence in one sentence. What makes it entertaining?”

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NsG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah, but is this a Colin or Wiggles cake? Coz that looks like Wiggles (from Sainsbury's), because otherwise this wouldn't just be a pothole, it'd be an M&S pothole.

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The ‘Mental UK Headlines’ project is fairly fresh. The account was started up on Twitter almost exactly a year ago, in April 2021. In that time, they’ve gotten the love and attention of 98.2k followers.

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The account shows us a few things. First of all, how much a good headline can boost our mood for the next few hours (who doesn’t love a hearty chuckle?). Secondly, there are some truly weird events going on in the world. And lastly, the British yellow press is willing to write about pretty much anything and everything for the sake of a ‘story.’ Whether that restores or destroys your faith in humanity depends on your perspective.

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Nkotanyi
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he hasn't hit anyone, just give him an official driving license. He proved he deserves it.

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During a previous interview, London-based comedy writer Ariane told Bored Panda that humor plays a huge role in British culture. 

“I think it is inherently witty and quirky but coupled with a huge dose of irony and self-consciousness,” she shared her thoughts about British wit with us.

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“[British humor is] sarcastic, petty, ridiculous, embarrassed, self-conscious, and underpinned with the knowledge and awareness of how silly Brits are,” the comedy expert explained to Bored Panda how we can define this unique sense of humor.

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Nathaniel
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could be worse. They could have been watching Eastenders. Now get out my pub you slaaaaag!

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NsG
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They've not posted this one well, but basically, someone threatened to call social services because of her eyebrows.

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“When people think of us, they think of the Royal Family, iconic images like London buses and phone boxes, afternoon tea, period dramas, and posh people—like Hugh Grant in Richard Curtis films!” Ariane said how the world tends to think of the British.

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Ashley Hall
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Som many people are left "crying and shaking", traumatized, or "devastated" these days.

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Skara Brae
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She'd be a lot more recognizable if both eyes were on the same side of her nose.

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“They see us as charming and antiquated and think we're adorable. Spoiler: we're not really like this! Which they'll find out if they ever visit Britain, but I guess most people never do, so we remain cute and posh in their imaginations,” the comedy writer quipped.

Meanwhile, Lisa McLendon, the William Allen White Professor of Journalism and Mass Communications and the coordinator of the Bremner Editing Center at the University of Kansas, was kind enough to share her insights about text and how to leave an immediate impact on the audience with us during an earlier interview.

The professor said that when you have to make an immediate impression on someone, like with a sign, it’s best to focus on clarity and brevity. That’s especially important in our world where there’s a seemingly endless stream of information and shortening attention spans.

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"Clarity and brevity are essential. You only have a second or two to get your message across, so you want people to understand quickly with zero confusion," she told Bored Panda.

What’s more, journalism and editing expert Lisa stressed the necessity to proofread all of your work. And then getting someone else to proofread it again. It’s especially useful when you’re using text in ways that can’t be easily and cheaply edited later (like it would be online).

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Tigerpacingthecage
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, we all make mistakes - sure, but you need to take responsibility for your actions. Saying "everyone does it" isn't really taking responsibility.

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

-"What is the purpose of your visit?" - "Well actually I'm a terrorist and I will be performing terrorist acts throughout the country" - "OK sir, enjoy your stay"

chinmayeekalghatgi avatar
Chinmayee Kalghatgi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“Hold on sir, airport security might take away the water gun so please take this [insert powerful gun name] gun.”

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Patrick McKemie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Disguise. Check. Fake Papers. Check. Convincing backstory. Check. Good Guys: Are you a terrorist? Bad Guy: Why Yes. Bad Guy: Dammitt!!!

karl_bielefeldtfacebook avatar
Karl Bielefeldt
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was 19 I ticked the "are you carrying drugs" box at customs because I had some antibiotics and apparently "everyone" knew that box was only for illegal drugs even though they weren't specific.

phill_1 avatar
Phill Healey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Accidentally". Watch this Sheila, it be a great laugh. Nah, nah, just watch everyone'll be pissin' 'em selves.

lyuboiv avatar
Vorknkx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It was added for the occasional honest terrorist who doesn't mind iodentifying as such.

marinarocha avatar
Marina Rocha
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

American visa application has the most nonsense questions: they openly ask if you plan to bomb the US also. I don't get it.

araminta_1 avatar
Araminta
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would think it was just a typo of tourist. Why IS that on there???

mdr_1 avatar
Potato
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You'd be surprised how many people accidentally give themselves away!

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Josh Koury
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why yes, I am a terrorist! Finally, a box for me to check ✅️😌

3rainbow avatar
EJN
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Americans no longer fear ghosts. They fear terrorists in the closet and under the bed.

dcloud1943 avatar
Dorothy Cloud
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES, why is that on the form in the first place. That's dumber than dumb!

cazoverll avatar
Caroline Overill
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do they seriously think real terrorists are going to tick that box

drh95051 avatar
GramDB
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How many real 'terrorist' have been caught that way…. ZERO!

baali_venomax avatar
Baali Venomax
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is one HELL of a misprint for TOURIST! How the hell did the font turn that into Terrorist?

dbhudia avatar
D Bhudia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A brown guy traveling feom the east suffering from dyslexia "Tourist? Yes! Check!"

d-k2011 avatar
Darren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just goes to show, you should always read what you sign, before you sign it. I reckon his wife did for a few days peace from him lol

gnug315 avatar
Jan Bloxham
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I literally lost my X-mas family holiday due to a much more serious misclick: I ticked off that I wanted a job!

dfstuckey65 avatar
David Stuckey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oscar Wilde when travelling to the US and asked what he had to declare wrote " Only my genius". Gilbert harding wrote to the question" Do you intend to overthrow the legitimate governmemt of the United States?" the response " Sole purpose of visit". No one seemed to worry; The US was once not the home of the paranoid and fearful.

perstephone29 avatar
Persephone
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bwahahaha! 🤣 how is that even a question?!? He definitely thought it said "tourist ", and I know from living here, about 75% of Americans are incapable of reading that 1 correctly!!! Trust me Sir, there are better places to visit!

amydoyle avatar
Amy Doyle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do they really think terrorists would actually tick that box. Oh yes let me just tick that surely they will let me bomb their country.

grantclemons avatar
Dekker451
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What?! Do they seriously just straight up ask if you're a terrorist? There's got to be more to it than that.

vboyer974 avatar
Anikulapo
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Name… mmmk. Address…right. Terrorist….mmmk. Alright, have a good day Sir. … Hold…on…a…minute….did he…was he…naaah.

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Robert T
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Much like the question about "Have you ever been convicted of crimes involving moral terpitude", which is probably something most Americans won't know what it is, let along anyone outside the US, where there isn't even such a thing in law!

sueuser avatar
Sue User
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I heard it was on the form because there really wasn't a law against being a terrorist. I mean, even the term is vague. But this way they could get you for lying on the form and deport you

renskedejonge9 avatar
Flip
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex remarried a woman from Brazil, but she couldn't live here, cause he didn't make enough money, so every 3 months she had to go to her own country from the govt. My son said to me that his older brother told him she was a terrorist. A terrorist?? No way. He can't have said that. Yes he said that!! A terrorist! Brother comes: Did you tell him she's a terrorist? A tourist. LOL

saderman avatar
Shelli Aderman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He’s NOT WRONG! 🤦🏽‍♀️ Why YES, I AM-like SERIOUSLY? 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

bubs623 avatar
Bubs623
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so sorry. You don't want to visit us in the USA anyway. We're a divided country of mostly idiots. (Who makes that a question?!?!?)

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She also stressed that it’s important to choose the right font, with the audience in mind. It should be clear. It should be readable. It shouldn’t have your readers second-guessing what they’re looking at.

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Who Panda 420
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw this apparently it was found safely outside in a hedge. Apparently the staff were very worried about it as nature abhors a vacuum. 😂

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Liz
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw an entire box of Voodoo Doughnuts face down the other day…doughnut guts spilled everywhere…f*****g tragedy

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Nathaniel
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A park? You have a park? In our day all we had was a grass verge to play on and we were thankful of that!

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It should be mentioned that this little girl has Autism and struggles a lot with selective eating, which in some cases can be so severe that they would rather starve than eat something that isn't familiar or suitable for their selective tastes/texture etc.

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Scagsy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've heard that she's also against photos in horizontal mode.

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Note: this post originally had 70 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.