ADVERTISEMENT

There are a ton of reasons why we love the United Kingdom—from its gorgeous nature and culture to its wide-ranging cuisine and renowned literature. But something that keeps us coming back is our love for the British press with all of its ups, downs, and unique quirks. There’s honestly hardly anything better than making a big cup of tea and opening up the serious Sunday papers or going for a cheeky scroll through the digital tabloids. It’s entertaining. It’s fun. It’s off the hook!

Now that’s where the ‘Mental UK Headlines’ Twitter page comes in. A social media project that unites nearly 100k followers, the account features some of the funniest, most bizarre, and downright ludicrous news stories and headlines found in the British press. Both in the tabloids and in the more serious (digital) papers. And today we’re featuring some of their very best finds to bring a smile to your face. Just because the press isn't yellow doesn't mean it's not immune to some truly bizarre headlines.

Go on, grab yourself some biscuits and enjoy a good laugh. Don’t forget to upvote the pics that you enjoyed the most, send a few your friends’ way, and if you really love what you’re seeing, give ‘Mental UK Headlines’ a follow for some more top-tier humor.

Bored Panda got in touch with author, comedy writer, journalist, and all-around talented creative Ariane Sherine from the UK. We had a chat about tabloids, catchy headlines, and why the Brits love the sensationalist press so much. Read on for our full interview with her!

#1

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
keniangabonziza avatar
Nkotanyi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess detention would have been enough. So much sadness and depression being separated from your favorite seatmate in class.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

Journalist and comedy expert Ariane, from London, shared her thoughts about the tabloids (or the ‘red tops’ as the Brits call them) with Bored Panda.

“I think the British press, particularly the sensationalist yellow press uses a lot more wordplay, humor, and puns in headlines—and also employs shock to grab the reader,” Ariane told us.

“You’ve also got our tabloid the Daily Sport, which I wouldn’t even class as a newspaper as it’s mostly made up for entertainment and titillation!”

#2

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
troux avatar
Troux
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

We were curious to get Ariane’s take on why the British enjoy tabloids so much, whether it’s all for the sake of being entertained or if they actually believe the biased news printed there.

“I definitely think people read the Sport purely for cheeky entertainment and to look at scantily clad women, as it’s only meant for that,” the journalism expert told us.

“But a lot of people get all their news from the Sun or Star, which is a bit worrying. They definitely believe everything they read in those papers—and they shouldn’t!” she warned.

ADVERTISEMENT

Meanwhile, when it comes to writing striking headlines, Ariane said that a lot depends on the topic in question. If you care about the issues on a personal level, you’re already more likely to read the story.

She shared some of the things that journalists ought to look at when writing headlines: “What’s the human interest angle? What would grab my attention? You have to distill the story into its essence in one sentence. What makes it entertaining?”

#7

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
saragregory0508 avatar
NsG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah, but is this a Colin or Wiggles cake? Coz that looks like Wiggles (from Sainsbury's), because otherwise this wouldn't just be a pothole, it'd be an M&S pothole.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

The ‘Mental UK Headlines’ project is fairly fresh. The account was started up on Twitter almost exactly a year ago, in April 2021. In that time, they’ve gotten the love and attention of 98.2k followers.

ADVERTISEMENT

The account shows us a few things. First of all, how much a good headline can boost our mood for the next few hours (who doesn’t love a hearty chuckle?). Secondly, there are some truly weird events going on in the world. And lastly, the British yellow press is willing to write about pretty much anything and everything for the sake of a ‘story.’ Whether that restores or destroys your faith in humanity depends on your perspective.

#11

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
keniangabonziza avatar
Nkotanyi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he hasn't hit anyone, just give him an official driving license. He proved he deserves it.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

During a previous interview, London-based comedy writer Ariane told Bored Panda that humor plays a huge role in British culture. 

“I think it is inherently witty and quirky but coupled with a huge dose of irony and self-consciousness,” she shared her thoughts about British wit with us.

ADVERTISEMENT

“[British humor is] sarcastic, petty, ridiculous, embarrassed, self-conscious, and underpinned with the knowledge and awareness of how silly Brits are,” the comedy expert explained to Bored Panda how we can define this unique sense of humor.

#17

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
gangsterghost avatar
Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could be worse. They could have been watching Eastenders. Now get out my pub you slaaaaag!

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#18

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
saragregory0508 avatar
NsG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They've not posted this one well, but basically, someone threatened to call social services because of her eyebrows.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

“When people think of us, they think of the Royal Family, iconic images like London buses and phone boxes, afternoon tea, period dramas, and posh people—like Hugh Grant in Richard Curtis films!” Ariane said how the world tends to think of the British.

#19

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
ahall828 avatar
Ashley Hall
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Som many people are left "crying and shaking", traumatized, or "devastated" these days.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#21

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
skara-brae avatar
Skara Brae
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She'd be a lot more recognizable if both eyes were on the same side of her nose.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

“They see us as charming and antiquated and think we're adorable. Spoiler: we're not really like this! Which they'll find out if they ever visit Britain, but I guess most people never do, so we remain cute and posh in their imaginations,” the comedy writer quipped.

Meanwhile, Lisa McLendon, the William Allen White Professor of Journalism and Mass Communications and the coordinator of the Bremner Editing Center at the University of Kansas, was kind enough to share her insights about text and how to leave an immediate impact on the audience with us during an earlier interview.

The professor said that when you have to make an immediate impression on someone, like with a sign, it’s best to focus on clarity and brevity. That’s especially important in our world where there’s a seemingly endless stream of information and shortening attention spans.

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda

"Clarity and brevity are essential. You only have a second or two to get your message across, so you want people to understand quickly with zero confusion," she told Bored Panda.

What’s more, journalism and editing expert Lisa stressed the necessity to proofread all of your work. And then getting someone else to proofread it again. It’s especially useful when you’re using text in ways that can’t be easily and cheaply edited later (like it would be online).

#28

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
veronicasjberg avatar
Tigerpacingthecage
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, we all make mistakes - sure, but you need to take responsibility for your actions. Saying "everyone does it" isn't really taking responsibility.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#29

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
popapach avatar
troufaki13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

-"What is the purpose of your visit?" - "Well actually I'm a terrorist and I will be performing terrorist acts throughout the country" - "OK sir, enjoy your stay"

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

She also stressed that it’s important to choose the right font, with the audience in mind. It should be clear. It should be readable. It shouldn’t have your readers second-guessing what they’re looking at.

#34

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
vanburensupernova44 avatar
nubisknight avatar
Nubis Knight
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is b******t. You can hold in farts while awake but as soon as you sleep, your muscles relax and the farts find their way out.

Load More Replies...
chriscellaoliver avatar
FlowerBot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol, I was brought up that a woman doesn't fart in public. Fast forward many years and I have never farted in my husbands company. One day I wake up scared sh'tless, sat bolt upright 'what was that' I say panicked. My husband was nearly crying with laughter, he couldn't speak. Yes you've guessed it, I farted so loud in my sleep I woke myself up scared. This was a few years ago and even now, when reminded of it he cracks up. Hmm very nice!

kimitomminello avatar
Kimi Tomminello
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol my husband farts and snores himself awake as much as the dogs do and it cracks me up every time.

Load More Replies...
kiloalphatango avatar
Miss Kat O
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Does she not leave him at any point to like go about her day... and maybe let one out?

dashblue_1 avatar
Dash Blue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I held in my feelings for two years. What a relief it was when I finally let loose, and had an emotional outburst filled with tears, and lots of farting.

queeronabike avatar
Andy Acceber
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fun fact: Research suggests that farts held in too long come out the other way. The idea that you can hold in your farts for two years is nonsense. But, straining your system to hold it in can cause real problems... problems that present much sooner than two years down the line.

sarinha_rod_ avatar
Sara Rodrigues
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is not entirely true, only some air is able to pass back through the digestive system, around 10% or less. Our system is highly effective at moving things down, hence why it's not possible to reabsorbe or move the air back up. That's why most people end up bloated, with colics or other health issues when they try to hold their farts in for a long time. Don't hold your farts!

Load More Replies...
seamusmoore avatar
shanegheverin avatar
SGH
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

anotherlittlething avatar
Jill Pulcifer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother was on a date once and they were taking a "scenic route" to a restaurant that was already far away. As soon as she sat in the car she realized she had to fart, but since it was her first date with this guy and she really liked him she held it. It was the 70's so they are drinking, and he's chatting and she's starting to pray. Finally after the longest car ride in the history of having an emergency fart they arrive. She stands up and just blacks out, it brings the entire parking lot of this busy restaurant running to her rescue, and her body just takes care of business. So she's laying there, out cold, just farting and farting and farting, then wakes up, completely unharmed and feeling physically better, but wanting to be unconscious again as soon as the relieved crowd tells her what happened. Im assuming it was something like this.

lcullinanobrien avatar
Theo Blackwood
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It says Irish twice and you still have the audacity to put this on a “UK headlines” post???

gzoontjens avatar
GPZ
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why do I have an image of Mr Creasote in my head now?

kimberlybailey avatar
KimB
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jeezus this gives a whole new meaning to a**l retention!

kbush5168 avatar
Kim Bush
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like a lot of women, she probably figured he did it enough for both of them.

d-k2011 avatar
Darren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That must of been a massive fact when they let that out. Hope there was a can of air freshener nearby

dk_5 avatar
D K
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And the lesson here, boys and girls, is to just let ‘em rip!

amydoyle avatar
Amy Doyle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Couldn't she have had went to the bathroom or went to take a walk.

bcgrote avatar
Brandy Grote
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do you not have a bathroom, or a door outside? Are you always around him? True love = farts, man.

waihi avatar
My O My
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is possible to hold in farts for longer then a few minutes? But. He has to take a dump sooner or later...

j_f_ avatar
J. F.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think they mean she didn't fart when she needed and hold them in till it was safe. It's impossible to hold gas in for two years straight

davidbrown_12 avatar
David Brown
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll bet that fart was epic. Wonder how long that bad boy lasted?

briton4ever43 avatar
JJM
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can't hold them in - they have a life of their own..........

clab avatar
naturespocket
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

how painful. when you do that it just travels back up and out as a burp. so yeah don’t do that

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
See Also on Bored Panda
#37

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
krisdargan avatar
Who Panda 420
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw this apparently it was found safely outside in a hedge. Apparently the staff were very worried about it as nature abhors a vacuum. 😂

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#42

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

#43

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
lizbeth-martin1992 avatar
Liz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw an entire box of Voodoo Doughnuts face down the other day…doughnut guts spilled everywhere…f*****g tragedy

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#45

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
gangsterghost avatar
Nathaniel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A park? You have a park? In our day all we had was a grass verge to play on and we were thankful of that!

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#46

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
james_fox1984 avatar
Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It should be mentioned that this little girl has Autism and struggles a lot with selective eating, which in some cases can be so severe that they would rather starve than eat something that isn't familiar or suitable for their selective tastes/texture etc.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
See Also on Bored Panda
#48

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

#49

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Add photo comments
POST
jmscargill avatar
Scagsy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've heard that she's also against photos in horizontal mode.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#50

Funny-Mental-UK-Headlines

MentalHeadline Report

Note: this post originally had 70 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.