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First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage funny tweets about your marriage!

Marriage or a long-term relationship can be quite funny at times. Especially when you're arguing over random stuff like the brands of toilet paper or having a fight entirely in fridge magnets. And if laughter truly is the best medicine, then there's nowhere better to apply it than when leading a married life. If you can relate to these silly married couple problems, then you'll love Bored Panda's list of marriage jokes, revealing the truth about having a spouse. They may be just up to 140 characters funny Twitter rants, but they're still honest and completely relatable. Take a look below - if you have a significant other, and don't find these hilarious, then it's probably time to get some relationship advice. Don't forget to vote for your favorites!

#2

Funny Married Life Tweet

granttanaka Report

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Yvonne Bernal
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ha ha, next time just leave your phone off and sleep in. This is hilarious!

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#4

Funny Married Life Tweet

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Alisha Marie
Community Member
7 years ago

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Maybe you could give her 2 testicles.....you know, for the cats to play with.... Just an idea. ;)

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#10

Funny Married Life Tweet

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Yvonne Bernal
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Poor Boyd (no pun intended)... that was only the bill you happened to open

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#11

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Muhammed Vatansever
Community Member
7 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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#12

Funny Married Life Tweet

wife_housy Report

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Andrew Ramirez
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I honestly think moms/wives don't actually find stuff, they just put it in an alternate dimension and then conjure it up in an obvious place

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#13

Funny Married Life Tweet

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Paul King
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That so belongs in an episode of Family Guy or American Dad! It's just the right humour!

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#32

Funny Married Life Tweet

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over opinionated
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Interesting fact I googled once apparently if you repeatedly get kicked in the balls for an hour it's almost as bad as childbirth... men couldn't handle it they'd die of pain that too is a fact I've read

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#35

Funny Married Life Tweet

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Whitney Shields
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahh Taco Bueno...always have to have at least 4 tacos lol and lots of salsa!!!

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#36

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#38

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XplodingUnicorn Report

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Murry Mo
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been there...my husband and I call it the fluff cuff of 2014

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#40

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over opinionated
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's why you make just one more so when he inevitably asks you don't need to say no

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#42

Funny Married Life Tweet

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Maureen Mower
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After having a similar argument with my late hubby (who was a Nascar fan, and I hated the sound of those engines!!), his birthday gift a few weeks later was a wireless headphone set so he could watch his racing and I didn't have to hear it!!

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#45

Funny Married Life Tweet

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Benski Trenkins
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like same with Terms of Service documents. You said "I do" without reading haha. (It's in the small print )

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#46

Funny Married Life Tweet

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over opinionated
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not the only one... I love him but sometimes you wanna smack the stupid out

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#47

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over opinionated
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If it were up to him folding is rolling it into a ball and shoving it in the dresser in a shelf at random

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#49

Funny Married Life Tweet

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Lauren Mitchell
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have no room in the fridge, no room in the cupboard Him: babe, there's nothing to eat.

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#50

Funny Married Life Tweet

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over opinionated
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love this I haven't seen beauty and the beast since I was a child. I remember that part so clearly

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#59

Funny Married Life Tweet

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over opinionated
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

XD that's so true the longer your together the more home cooked food hits the waistline

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#61

Funny Married Life Tweet

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Maureen Mower
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so true... "We" adopted two kittens, but they were always "my" cats when the litter box needed changing, or they scratched the sofa, or they needed a refill of water/food. To add insult to injury - they liked HIM best!!

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#66

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Lorna Anne Skinner Emmons
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What do you want to do discussion lasts for 2.7 hours or until the mood to go anywhere or do anything passes. You used up all your energy talking about it

#70

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#71

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FatherWithTwins Report

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Michele Werkeiser
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Husband- playing computer game. Wife- turns on HGTV. Ten minutes later hubby is turned around watching HGTV cause it's addictive.

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#72

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over opinionated
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm in the middle of baking my 40 pound overweight hubby a stupid amount of double chocolate cookies.... I feel terrible now

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#74

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simoncholland Report

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Catie Brandyberry
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm ALWAYS hot, even in the winter. My brother is ALWAYS cold, even in the summer. One of us is usually miserable.

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#75

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#76

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#77

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Bonnie Maxton-Harvey
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband forgets to tell me important things, like our daughter being stopped by a cop for being a suspected drug mule (she wasn’t) and then says “ I told you that.” Duh, sure, I must have forgotten.

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#78

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#80

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Jo Hoad
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Where did you get red stiletto heels to fit a dog? Any chance of a photo?

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#82

Funny Married Life Tweet

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over opinionated
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been there just not angry about it he laughed his a*s off... I screamed

#84

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#88

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Robert Hannent
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The holes in Crocs are to allow the dignity to flow freely away.

#89

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#90

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