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Married life has its highs and lows and a whole lot of mundane moments in between.

But whether we're talking about the ordinary or the extraordinary, some spouses find a way to treat marriage with a healthy dose of humor.

From fighting about who gets to use the new vacuum cleaner first to setting parental controls on Netflix after your partner watches a show without you, we at Bored Panda put together a new list of the funniest marriage tweets we found, and they're just as hilariously relatable as the ones in our older pieces here and here.

To learn about what it takes to maintain a healthy relationship with your spouse, we contacted marriage & relationship coach Suzanne Venker. "The pillars of married life is a shared belief in marriage as an institution, being on the same team (particularly with respect to money, religion, parenting, and in-laws) and a genuine like (not just love) of the other person," the author of the forthcoming book, How to Get Hitched (and Stay Hitched): A 12-Step Program for Marriage-Minded Women, told Bored Panda.

If people have that, Venker believes they can withstand the biggest dangers to their married life: being competitive (or engaging in a power struggle, rather than being complementary by accepting how different men and women really are with their needs, thought processes, and behaviors) as well as the inability to accept the other person (or to accept that some things won't change), and the lack of respect on the part of the wife and lack of romance and tenderness on the part of the husband.

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The share of U.S. adults who are currently married has declined from 58% in 1995 to 53% in 2019. Over the same period, however, the share of adults who are living with an unmarried partner has risen from 3% to 7%.

But according to the Pew Research Center, married adults have higher levels of relationship satisfaction and trust than those living with an unmarried partner (about six-in-ten married adults (58%) say things are going very well in their marriage; 41% of cohabiters say the same about their relationship with their partner).

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Jace
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s not a good idea to make your spouse feel like there’s an analogous relationship between having sex with you, and doing chores.

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SoozeeQ
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait for it. Eventually, someone will come along and tell us all how, we too, can work from home and make trillions of dollars online.

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Plus, married adults are also more likely than cohabiters to say they feel closer to their spouse or partner than to any other adult (about eight-in-ten married adults (78%) say they feel closer to their spouse than to any other adult in their life; a narrower majority of cohabiters (55%) say the same about their partner).

Suzanne Venker said that humor is also very important to a successful marriage. "Life is long and difficult. There are so many stressors in a marriage and without humor and playfulness, it will be a much harder road. And not nearly as fun," she explained. So I guess the people we see on the list are off to a great start!

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

French fries, a steak and 2 bottles of red wine sounds good for dinner.

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Mangoes'nRum
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happened last night. Wife ended up eating oranges and chocolate biscuits. I went with canned beans and a pomegranate. Interesting choices we make.

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Carol Emory
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OMG this is our house. It's called we both want pizza, fried chicken or some other unhealthy choice, but we don't want to be the one to suggest it and have a finger pointed at us the next time we go to the doctor and get the concerned look when he reads our lab reports.

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Yort
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Okay, always have a designated dinner item for times like this. For example, soup. If neither of you knows what you want for dinner, that means you’re having soup. If you go “no, I don’t want soup” but still can’t come up with something else, then you’re having soup.

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Neil Bidle
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's when she says that do you offer some suggestions, all of which she turns down

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Johanna-Nicollette Kidd
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Take her out to dinner, thats really what she wants (youl get your reward later)

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Hilary Mol
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is what happens when my cousin and I every time we get together and food is involved. We determined years ago that the only pizza we could ever order together was a cheese pizza, because otherwise it took too long (literally hours) to decide what else to put on it. And we're not picky eaters - we just fall into the exact convo in this post and it devolves from there.

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Jonathon Henry
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I truly believe this question, more than any other reason, ends most relationships in America. I bet it is the number one fight in most divorces.

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Rainy Day Wolf
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

you know what always sounds good for dinner? pizza... there, problem solved

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An Co
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The proper way to ask this question is "What food do you definitely NOT want to get?"

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Steve Barnett
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thing is we’re all picky eaters, we just notice it more in others than we do ourselves. We all have certain preferences. Not just ourselves, but all of the animal kingdom; my cat will only eat one specific brand of dry food, give her anything else and it will go uneaten.

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Aaron W
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nothing worse than having extra pieces of junk added to your junk. Suddenly you've lost control of your junk and you have no idea what's in there anymore.

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Steve Barnett
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife bought new net curtains, they’re nice but the drop is too long in the living room and dining room. You know what? I used to take copious amounts of drugs, sleep behind a supermarket and wake up just in time to go to work, go travelling abroad sometimes without any luggage whatever, oh the list of poor and naive choices goes on and on. But at least I now have nice new net curtains.

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Rose the Cook
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An old Italian woman once told me the secret to a successful marriage is finding someone you can put up with who is willing to put up with you.

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Philly Bob Squires
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any man that believes women are "the weaker sex" has never tried to reclaim his half of the blankets on a cold winter's night.

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Dorothy Parker
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hi Honey, I got the store brand of toothpaste and saved twenty cents! (Crickets.)

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Auntriarch
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I message evil faces to that question, and my husband messages back, ok the ice machine is on. He's a keeper

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Rose the Cook
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But you appreciate it when she produces something you need at the the time from said purse.

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Steve Barnett
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dare you to say the same to her. Experience: been with wife for 26 years. Trust me on this.

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Sasy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to set the alarm by snoozes, at least five presses before getting up.

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