Spare a thought for Santa. He gets millions of letters a year to trawl through, with the vast majority of them boring and formulaic along the lines of “Dear Santa can I have an X-Box for Christmas please.”

However from time to time there are little nuggets of genius or hilarity that must surely make the jolly old guy crack a smile. Kids are known for speaking their mind, and are especially forthright when it comes to making requests (or demands), so we here at Bored Panda have decided to make a list of the funniest, frankest and most bizarre Santa Letters kids have ever sent.

Scroll down to check out the list below, and don’t forget to vote for your favourite!

#1

My Mom Is A 4th Grade Teacher. Here's One Of Her Muslim Student's Letters To Santa

My Mom Is A 4th Grade Teacher. Here's One Of Her Muslim Student's Letters To Santa

shit_another_brick Report

EvieNiffler
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know why all these comments were downvoted, so I voted them back up. This girl rocks and it's lovely to see people putting religious biases aside to celebrate the true teachings of their religion - happiness and love towards all. If only everyone thought the way this little girl did.

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#2

8 Year Old's Letter To Santa

8 Year Old's Letter To Santa

Karen Suffern Report

Tamara Laney
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Heartbreaking & heartwarming at the same time. What a wonderfully kind brother and human being !

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#3

My Daughter's Christmas List

My Daughter's Christmas List

mmmel Report

Tamara Laney
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Determination, smarts & creativity...this kid's gonna go far. Well done!

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#5

So This Store Had A "Dear Santa" Writing Area For Children And This Is What I Saw

So This Store Had A "Dear Santa" Writing Area For Children And This Is What I Saw

Neloku Report

#6

Kids These Days

Kids These Days

kcapulet Report

#7

My 11-Year-Old Nephew Made My Mom A Christmas List. Lmao I Feel You Dawg

My 11-Year-Old Nephew Made My Mom A Christmas List. Lmao I Feel You Dawg

gnarlaycharlay Report

TheKnightOwl
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It'd be nice if kids didn't have to hear about politics from grown ups. Let kids be kids, and make up their own mind where they stand once they're older.

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#8

Don't Know If I Should Laugh Or Cry. Letter To Santa Left In The Cookie And Milk Plate

Don't Know If I Should Laugh Or Cry. Letter To Santa Left In The Cookie And Milk Plate

Michele Plachter Design Report

#9

A Letter To Santa From My Brother's 5th Grade Class - "There Will Be Consequences"

A Letter To Santa From My Brother's 5th Grade Class - "There Will Be Consequences"

zethgoarzz27 Report

#10

I Told My First Grade Class They Were Writing Their Letters To Santa. I Should Have Been More Specific

I Told My First Grade Class They Were Writing Their Letters To Santa. I Should Have Been More Specific

dalekmania Report

Peggy Ward
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids do take things literally, I lauged my ass off on this one!

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#11

My Boy's Son Put Together His Christmas List. The Random $29 Has Me Rollin'

My Boy's Son Put Together His Christmas List. The Random $29 Has Me Rollin'

B_Effin_G Report

#12

As A Jew, Christmas Time Was Always The Hardest Time Of The Year. This Is What I Wrote To Santa When I Was 9

As A Jew, Christmas Time Was Always The Hardest Time Of The Year. This Is What I Wrote To Santa When I Was 9

psychie Report

Peggy Ward
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Always seemed mean to me for little ones not to celebrate due to parents religion!

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#13

Just Pizza

Just Pizza

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#14

My Sister Is 9 And This Is Her Christmas List

My Sister Is 9 And This Is Her Christmas List

Selena_Ghazali Report

#15

Little Brother Wrote Santa A Thank-You Card

Little Brother Wrote Santa A Thank-You Card

tanzenita Report

#16

My Good Friend's Note To Santa Right After Titanic Came Out. She Was 9

My Good Friend's Note To Santa Right After Titanic Came Out. She Was 9

RennBrown Report

#17

So My Cousin Found Out That Santa Isn't Real

So My Cousin Found Out That Santa Isn't Real

tmbcake13 Report

#18

He May Look Sweet, But He Is The Devil

He May Look Sweet, But He Is The Devil

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#19

My Niece's Letter To Santa

My Niece's Letter To Santa

orangeworker Report

Daniel Morgan
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm 32 and this is pretty much my list too....still no puppy!

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#20

This Is My 4-Year-Old's Letter To Santa. I Think She's On Her Way To Becoming A Doctor

This Is My 4-Year-Old's Letter To Santa. I Think She's On Her Way To Becoming A Doctor

davetbison Report

#21

A Letter To Santa

A Letter To Santa

DoctorWest Report

#22

Mall Santa, Meet Skeptical 8yo

Mall Santa, Meet Skeptical 8yo

ronbron Report

Poor unfortunate soul
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never thought about what the elves did as “slave labor” but... I’m rethinking things.

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#23

Creative Wish

Creative Wish

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Miss Cris
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love how she or he crossed out her name to put it smaller and in another place

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#24

My Childhood Letter To Santa Claus

My Childhood Letter To Santa Claus

passion4pizza Report

Mama Panda
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So many wasted childhood years of asking for toys when I could have asked for a clean room! I wonder if Santa would be willing to clean my house now? hahahaha

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#25

A 4-Year-Old's Epic Christmas List

A 4-Year-Old's Epic Christmas List

Mcd723 Report

Emily Rose
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now I want a shark that goes underwater and grabs me corndogs that are already baked!

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#26

5-Year-Old Letter To Santa Asking For GTA V: "I Just Want To Play With The Cars, Not The Hookers!"

5-Year-Old Letter To Santa Asking For GTA V: "I Just Want To Play With The Cars, Not The Hookers!"

gothamite27 Report

Sarah Jahnke
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well raised kids, early Whovian 👌🏻

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#27

A Note My 6 Year Old Sister Left For Santa Hahaha

A Note My 6 Year Old Sister Left For Santa Hahaha

melissadzielski Report

#28

Nephew's Letter To Santa

Nephew's Letter To Santa

dropbear14 Report

Aaron Pie
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wake up to find Santa passed out on the couch.

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#29

Mom Busted Out A Box Of Old Santa Letters Today - Looks Like My Career As A Smartass Began At A Young Age

Mom Busted Out A Box Of Old Santa Letters Today - Looks Like My Career As A Smartass Began At A Young Age

whatsaflashbang Report

nanashi
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

should I be concerned when a kid wants an AK-47 for Christmas?

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#30

This Is The Letter My Niece Sent To Santa. She's 7

This Is The Letter My Niece Sent To Santa. She's 7

ulalume Report

#31

Jeremy Has A Problem With His Gifts. And With His Nerves As Well

Jeremy Has A Problem With His Gifts. And With His Nerves As Well

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#32

My 9 Year Old Brother's Note To Santa, Signed By The Man Himself

My 9 Year Old Brother's Note To Santa, Signed By The Man Himself

Archaeologik Report

#33

Addisyns Letter To Santa!! Cutest And Funniest Thing I've Ever Read!

Addisyns Letter To Santa!! Cutest And Funniest Thing I've Ever Read!

ketta3 Report

Peggy Ward
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this is a winner, the part about the baby peeing in her mouth is too sweet, plus I love the name Addisyn!

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#34

What I Want For Christmas This Year Is...

What I Want For Christmas This Year Is...

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#35

How To Make Sure Santa Is Real, 8yo Logic

How To Make Sure Santa Is Real, 8yo Logic

agrublev Report

Wanda Queen
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like this girl. She is the first one who said please!

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#36

Sounds Reasonable

Sounds Reasonable

ali_holcomb Report

#37

1993 Letter To Santa

1993 Letter To Santa

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Peggy Ward
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Come on honey, you are letting Santa off too easy!

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#38

I Present My Co-Worker's 10-Year-Old Nephew's Letter To Santa

I Present My Co-Worker's 10-Year-Old Nephew's Letter To Santa

rubber_necker Report

#39

Dear Santa

Dear Santa

Zacoh Report

#40

A Pair Of What?

A Pair Of What?

harderpjm Report

TheKnightOwl
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It took me awhile, but I think it's 'tights'...'ripped tits' took me to a bad place. :-/

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#41

Oh, And Just An Easy $25,000

Oh, And Just An Easy $25,000

ali_holcomb Report

Peggy Ward
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If all else fails, just the $25,000 will do!

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#42

I Can't Make This Stuff Up! This Is My Nephew Christmas List

I Can't Make This Stuff Up! This Is My Nephew Christmas List

theangieg Report

#43

He Was Told To Write A Letter To Santa

He Was Told To Write A Letter To Santa

MichaelRahmani Report

Mama Panda
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Poor kid, he/she needs a hug and some intervention!

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#44

If Anyone Is Having Trouble Getting Into The Christmas Spirit... Here’s A Letter To Santa Written By One Of My Students

If Anyone Is Having Trouble Getting Into The Christmas Spirit... Here’s A Letter To Santa Written By One Of My Students

morgherr Report

Peggy Ward
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, just to play it safe, I'll write you a letter anyway!

#45

Dear Santa...

Dear Santa...

_MorganFreeman_ Report

#46

Couple Things For Christmas

Couple Things For Christmas

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Sushi Smack
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i think this kid wants a pet. i dunno... maybe a cat or dog.. i cant tell >u<

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#48

My Eldest Son Wrote A Letter On Behalf Of My 3yo. It’s So True. He’s Been Asking How Long Until Christmas Since January

My Eldest Son Wrote A Letter On Behalf Of My 3yo. It’s So True. He’s Been Asking How Long Until Christmas Since January

babymazeuk Report

#50

Coworker's Daughter's Letter To Santa. Clearly Not Afraid To Ask The Tough Questions

Coworker's Daughter's Letter To Santa. Clearly Not Afraid To Ask The Tough Questions

Fuzzhead171 Report

Sushi Smack
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

well, that could be a problem if santa got sick

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#51

My Daughter's Letter To Santa

My Daughter's Letter To Santa

transplanted Report

#52

My Teacher Found This Note To Santa In Her 8-Year-Old's Bedroom

My Teacher Found This Note To Santa In Her 8-Year-Old's Bedroom

suhbriba Report

#53

Santa Letter

Santa Letter

dr.ōzda Report

#54

My Sister Just Walked In & Handed My Parents Her Christmas List. Don't Know If I'm Scared Or Impressed

My Sister Just Walked In & Handed My Parents Her Christmas List. Don't Know If I'm Scared Or Impressed

emaggg Report

OBPanda
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

$2,569.82 (not incl. tax). You know you were curious.

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#55

My Friend's Nephew Wrote A Letter To Santa

My Friend's Nephew Wrote A Letter To Santa

TheOtherOncomingStorm Report

#56

Instead Of Asking For Toys This Year, My Kid Wrote A Motivational Letter To Santa. "Dear Santa, I Think That You Should Be A Lot More Skinnier So On The Back Side There Is A Picture Of You Being Skinnier"

Instead Of Asking For Toys This Year, My Kid Wrote A Motivational Letter To Santa. "Dear Santa, I Think That You Should Be A Lot More Skinnier So On The Back Side There Is A Picture Of You Being Skinnier"

RandomFlotsam Report

Peggy Ward
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From one fat ass to another fat ass, I like Santa rotund!

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#57

High Importance Questions From Olivia

High Importance Questions From Olivia

Trezi Report

#58

Came Across A Good Letter To Santa While I Was Volunteering Tonight

Came Across A Good Letter To Santa While I Was Volunteering Tonight

paytondfriga Report

#59

Cousin's Letter To Santa

Cousin's Letter To Santa