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We've all been to a hospital at least a couple of times in our lives, and those visits are never, never pleasant. Not only you have to answer a bunch of very personal questions, get poked and prodded but also often endure a great deal of pain, which probably have brought you there in the first place. Nurses and doctors, knowing all this either try to ignore your whining entirely and just do their job, while others try to add some optimism to the situation by making you laugh with hospital puns, funny stories and various sorts of jokes. This list that you'll find below are real stories about the second category of hospital staff and their ingenious ways of keeping patients' spirit up.

From doctors who probably have a Ph.D. in trolling to patients who are taking it rather well and nurses spending their graveyard shifts in very nonconformist ways, the hospital turns out to be an excellent source for funny jokes. So, scroll down, say 'ahhhh' and breathe deep, because you're going to need all the oxygen that you can get for laughing at these funny things found in hospitals!

#1

Saw This Next To The Weighting Scale At The Hospital

Saw This Next To The Weighting Scale At The Hospital

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#2

The Definition Of Nurse

The Definition Of Nurse

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varwenea
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or PARAMEDIC, Or EMT, Emergency medical technician, Or FIREMAN, Or DOCTOR

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#3

The Female Nurse Didn't Think I Was Funny. The Male Doctor Couldn't Stop Laughing

The Female Nurse Didn't Think I Was Funny. The Male Doctor Couldn't Stop Laughing

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Mae
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think that's perfect! I'd love to get my tubes tied (or whatever it's called for women) but where I live you have to be either over 35 or have 3 kids or more xD

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Jay Broderick
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It really shows the double standard. If a man doesn't want children he gets the operation. If a woman doesn't want children she is made to wait until a certain age, and even then made to wait, have multiple interviews etc.

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Crouching_Penn_Hidden_Teller@yahoo.com
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5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I told my doctor I had my tubes tied and she actually asked me why. I said "Because I don't want kids!"

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Gerry Higgins
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can relate . I'm a Porch D**k. I sit on the porch and yell at neighborhood kids 'GET OUT OF THE PLANTS'

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Lu
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s how guys deal with stress we make jokes.

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Danielle Holder
Community Member
5 years ago

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Esp when a*****e parents ruin everyone else's trip and brings their crotch goblins on planes!!!!

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movie maven
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Aced it - very succinctly & hysterically hilarious!!! Also wise & commendable because when you just know, you really know.

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Rabite
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you want to make the nurse laugh, too, try to get a tubal ligation at your age. You don't even have to fill out any paperwork.

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RJ Berg
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If more people babysat children as a pre requisite to sex, we'd have better population control. You'd either be too tired to have it, or hopefully educated enough to be prepared. I say move the daycares to the high schools, start sharing the care of these children and that will help as well... & save for the parents on all sides.

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Rachel
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eh I wouldn't want some random high schoolers watching my child 😬

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W. 5
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Standing in line"...pffftt, try "sitting in front of children on a plane".

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Stille20
Community Member
5 years ago

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Maybe it's because she has to deal with your paperwork and has legal obligations in regards to it's accuracy, not because she is female....just a guess

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#4

Had My Leg Amputated And My Brother Shows Up To The Hospital Dressed As A Pirate

Had My Leg Amputated And My Brother Shows Up To The Hospital Dressed As A Pirate

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#5

I Didn't Want To Go To The Hospital When I Had Life-Threatening Illness, Because My Elderly Pet Ducks Required Daily Medications At The Time. I'm The Only Person They'll Allow. The Nurses Let My Husband Sneak Them In At Night

I Didn't Want To Go To The Hospital When I Had Life-Threatening Illness, Because My Elderly Pet Ducks Required Daily Medications At The Time. I'm The Only Person They'll Allow. The Nurses Let My Husband Sneak Them In At Night

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#6

Photo Taken Outside Children's Hospital In Los Angeles. Smart Kid

Photo Taken Outside Children's Hospital In Los Angeles. Smart Kid

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varwenea
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5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is very real. And someone did send pizza! It was in the news.

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#7

Who's Gonna Stop Me?

Who's Gonna Stop Me?

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#8

He Keeps Taking Them Down For Some Reason

He Keeps Taking Them Down For Some Reason

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#9

This After Hours Clinic Has Got Jokes

This After Hours Clinic Has Got Jokes

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#10

Had To Get My Blood Drawn Today. This Was On The Wall At The Lab

Had To Get My Blood Drawn Today. This Was On The Wall At The Lab

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#11

Christmas Tree At My Fertility Clinic

Christmas Tree At My Fertility Clinic

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#12

Was At The VA Hospital Today When I Ran Into This Guy And His Shirt

Was At The VA Hospital Today When I Ran Into This Guy And His Shirt

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#13

Woman Ends Up In Hospital After Mistaking Builders Expanding Foam For Hair Mousse

Woman Ends Up In Hospital After Mistaking Builders Expanding Foam For Hair Mousse

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#14

These Removed Fish Hooks At My Local ER

These Removed Fish Hooks At My Local ER

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#15

Girlfriend's Eye Doctor Hit Her With A Good Ol' Dad Joke

Girlfriend's Eye Doctor Hit Her With A Good Ol' Dad Joke

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#17

After Crushing And Fracturing His Finger, This Is How My Boyfriend Passed Time While Waiting In The ER

After Crushing And Fracturing His Finger, This Is How My Boyfriend Passed Time While Waiting In The ER

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#18

Comforting To See In My Doctor's Office

Comforting To See In My Doctor's Office

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#19

I Think I Have Found The Worst Game Ever

I Think I Have Found The Worst Game Ever

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#20

This Building Is Like Someone Was Making It Up On The Fly

This Building Is Like Someone Was Making It Up On The Fly

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#22

Three Broken Ribs Yet Grandma Still Knows How To Keep Her Spirits Up During Hard Times

Three Broken Ribs Yet Grandma Still Knows How To Keep Her Spirits Up During Hard Times

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#23

Found This Mad Lad's Handiwork In The Local Hospital Bathroom

Found This Mad Lad's Handiwork In The Local Hospital Bathroom

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#24

So I Was On The Toilet At My Hospital (Children's) And I Look Up To Find This On The Wall

So I Was On The Toilet At My Hospital (Children's) And I Look Up To Find This On The Wall

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#25

The Fertility Clinic I Work For Received This Card From A Urologist

The Fertility Clinic I Work For Received This Card From A Urologist

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#26

He Takes It Rather Well...

He Takes It Rather Well...

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2WheelTravlr
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's funny, but fake. It was a photo shoot for an insurance company. http://message.snopes.com/showthread.php?t=91277

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#27

An ER Nurse And Her Coworkers Decided Gummy Bears Needed To Be Renamed

An ER Nurse And Her Coworkers Decided Gummy Bears Needed To Be Renamed

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#28

The Only Book In My Doctor's Waiting Room. I Think I Chose Well

The Only Book In My Doctor's Waiting Room. I Think I Chose Well

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#30

This Pain Scale Found In My Doctor's Office

This Pain Scale Found In My Doctor's Office

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Laugh Fan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Better than the 1-10 scale where you only base it on the worst pain you've experienced. What if you haven't had much before or are worn down by having serious pain a lot? I've always found this really difficult as pain from a broken bone is a different type of pain to, say, nerve pain.

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