If you didn’t know just yet, God is on Twitter. The Almighty has over 6.1 million devout fans eagerly awaiting His latest posts while He Himself follows only one account—Justin Bieber’s. The parody account is full of hilarious jokes and witty comments that will hopefully make you laugh and raise your spirits.

We’ve collected some of the best tweets posted by God for you to enjoy, so scroll down, have a read, and upvote your fave ones. Let us know what you think about the Almighty’s posts in the comment section below.

And in case you were wondering why your prayers might not be working this month, God has stated that He is “taking time off” to write His newest testament while on a ‘workation’ on the planet Bethselamin from The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

#1

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Ms.M.
Community Member
2 months ago

Wouldn't that be refreshing....

View more comments
#2

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Why?
Community Member
2 months ago

When you passed out 'brains', too many people thought you said 'trains' and took the next one.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#3

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Dee Mcgee
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

I have honestly never understood why people care so much. Im literally that stressed out trying to get through life in one peice I cant even imagine even thinking about whether somebody is gay or not ...let alone giving a shit! Humans really baffle me.

View More Replies...
View more comments

Don’t worry, though, the creator of the parody account has stated that God will be back “angrier, wittier, and more ineffective than ever” once September starts. Just in time for the new school year! “In My absence, no one is in charge,” God added.

The man behind The Tweet of God account is David Javerbaum from Los Angeles. He explained why the account he manages follows Bieber by saying, “From what God told me, he only follows close family members. That’s all I could get out of him.”

David is always in character, even when talking to the press. He maintains the appearance that he works for God and that he’s His social media manager. David started the account in 2010 while working on a book called ‘The Last Testament: A Memoir by God.’ One year later, he published the book and, ironically, people thought it was copying off the Twitter account.

#4

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

John Laurens/Gay Turtle
Community Member
2 months ago

Preach

View More Replies...
View more comments
#5

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 months ago

I want ot make this a t-shirt...

View more comments
#6

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

chi-wei shen
Community Member
2 months ago

Choose your favourite.

View more comments

Eventually, David was approached to turn his Twitter account into a Broadway play. Which resulted in The Act of God which went on for two summers all over the world.

In case you want to reach David and talk to God, don’t hold your breath. “God replies to tweets exactly as often as he replies to prayers from other people,” he said.

God’s rival Satan also had a similar parody Twitter account. However, due to a change in Twitter’s content policy, the Prince of Darkness got banned. Though the two accounts are quite similar, they weren’t created by the same person. And in the fight for our everlasting souls on social media, God came out victorious in the end.

#7

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Hope Floats
Community Member
2 months ago

Just imagine how peaceful the world would be.......

View More Replies...
View more comments
#8

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Gwen
Community Member
2 months ago

That's what I keep saying. The reason people are abducted is so they can gauge our current level of stupidity. So far it must be pretty bad because we still haven't heard anything!

View More Replies...
View more comments
#9

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Why?
Community Member
2 months ago

Fair enough!

View more comments

However, The Tweet of God account has been through some ups and downs. Five years ago, God’s account got hacked which made David quit Twitter for a year and a half. The account also got banned twice. However, the account’s still going strong. Mainly because of how much potential for satire there is in the world.

“The only time there would be no material for satire will be in a perfect world. And I don’t see that coming any time soon. I do think that if it were a perfect world, my [in]ability to make fun of it would be a small price to pay,” David told The Hindu.

#10

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 months ago

Burn!

View more comments
#11

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

GirlFriday
Community Member
2 months ago

But if I don't keep sinning then Jesus died for nothing.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#12

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 months ago

Actually, ther'es also 6. Frying. 54*C in Death Valley...

View More Replies...
View more comments
#13

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 months ago

And they'll spray Round Up and insecticides to make the salad better.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#14

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Maria R
Community Member
2 months ago

True, sad but true.

View more comments
#15

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Joval M.
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

I'm a Canadian and if you can't get along with us, we're really sorry

View More Replies...
View more comments
#16

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Wolfstar
Community Member
2 months ago (edited)

Yass

View more comments
See Also on Bored Panda
#17

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 months ago

Nah. We won't live to see it so we'll leave to the younger generations to solve that problem but we are also going to sabotage every effort they are making now to turn the tide. Like allowing oil companies to drill in the Arctic Wildlife Refuge.

View More Replies...
View more comments
See Also on Bored Panda
#18

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Why?
Community Member
2 months ago

... but you haven't been taken off Facebook yet!

View More Replies...
View more comments
#19

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

M O'Connell
Community Member
2 months ago

Damnit, we're working on it!

View More Replies...
View more comments
#20

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Aldert Nagel
Community Member
2 months ago

Simple choice, you would think...

View more comments
#21

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 months ago

That's ok. According to your followers you are one unforgiving, heartless, unloving jerk anyway, so we didn't expect you to actually intervene in some way. Like striking a few fools with lightning.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#22

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 months ago

NRA logic: Guns don't kill people. But people with guns kill people. So to protect yourself from people with guns, buy a gun. ( BTW Hey, congressmen, you still haven't pushed the stand your ground laws in all states. That's not what we paid you for...)

View More Replies...
View more comments
#23

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

BlackestDawn
Community Member
2 months ago

Or as I heard/read it somewhere else years ago: "Artificial intelligence stand no chance against natural stupidity".

View more comments
#24

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

AntiNutjob
Community Member
2 months ago

China is supposedly cracking down on the wildlife markets. Hopefully some real change will finally come.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#25

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Rose the Cook
Community Member
2 months ago

What about the cats?

View More Replies...
View more comments
#26

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Torchicachu
Community Member
2 months ago

R.I.P stephen hawking

View more comments
#27

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 months ago

Could have been worse: Could have tweeted: "It is what it is.."

View More Replies...
View more comments
See Also on Bored Panda
#28

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 months ago

Marriage is a bond between two loving persons. There god, I fixed it for you.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#29

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Ivo H
Community Member
2 months ago

The Earth rotation acceleration would be a little too much, probably.

View more comments
#30

Funny-God-Tweets-Thetweetofgod

TheTweetOfGod Report

Becky Samuel
Community Member
2 months ago

They're no more in its anus than the clitoris is in a woman's anus. You would think that God could at least remember where he put them.

View More Replies...
View more comments

Note: this post originally had 117 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.