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So you've committed a crime and you've just been caught. Now what?

Well, apart from taking some precious time out to reflect upon your dumbass life choices, you're going to need some legal advice. Better call Saul! But if he's busy then we'd recommend checking out L. Scott Briscoe. He's a lawyer from West Virginia, and he's picked up a bunch of useful tips during his nineteen years of legal practice. He shares them on his Facebook page and they cover everything from what not to wear in a courtroom to how not to cheat a drug test. We can't guarantee they'll help you beat the rap, but at least they'll give you something to laugh about. In prison.

More info: Facebook (h/t: collegehumor)

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Amanda Panda
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"He said we were going to get McDonalds, I didn't know he meant rob it" - Friend

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Hans
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I guess many of these tipps can be subsumed as "do not be so bloody stupid"...

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Kjorn
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

it doesn't work? damn... i must find another excuse then :-)

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Kelley Merie
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Funny, it worked for this guy who got out of rape charges saying he "tripped and fell in her" http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3361640/Saudi-millionaire-cleared-raping-teenager-telling-court-accidentally-penetrated-18-year-old-tripped-fell-her.html

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Amanda Panda
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"No idea that was there?" How do you not FEEL a bag full of drugs in your vag? Sick.

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Carrie Chastain-Little
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually had a patient who did something similar and got a horrible infection...

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Yvonne Bernal
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So I guess trying to convince them that her boyfriend hid them there isn't going to work either??

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Hans
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think people have gotten through with "I must have sat on it" excuses...

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Maureen Eggert
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've heard women say "I fell pregnant" but this one IS unique.

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Hans
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This hand-raising thing is awkward...a relict of the past. As if it would make people lie less...

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Yvonne Bernal
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Telling the judge you can't find your witness because they're in the 'witness protection' program probably won't work either.

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David Stuckey
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or on Facebook the week of the trial either - http://loweringthebar.net/2016/04/i-got-you-cold-mate.html

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Kjorn
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

people who do drug are so dumb. like my kid who has chocolate on his face and insist of telling me he doesn't know who eat the chocolat chip cookies

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Jace
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

With those kinds of tattoos on a person, it's pretty much too late to give them tips on being reasonable and socially harmonious.

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Kjorn
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

yeah! like people who complaint about their bosses or jobs on facebook

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Maggie Macaskill
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7 years ago

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Yo I heard the s**t gets in so you might just be wrong. We need more constructive advice. Can you ask your clients who never got the "tobacco" discovered on their person for a better tip?

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Kjorn
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7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

that's a good thing. that dumbass will stay in jail instead of doing his crappy stuff outside

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