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I remember when my then recently newborn son had just learned how to laugh, and as a new dad with his first child, doing anything I could to hear that laugh, including playing "aeroplane" with my son right after supper. This is my tweet from later that night:

"While playing aeroplane with your son after supper sounds like a fun idea, the resulting barf in your eyes and beard is no fun at all."

Dad tweets can be hilarious, and Bored Panda aims to bring you the best of the best. Which hilarious dad tweet do you think deserves the top spot? Vote! Or submit your own funny dad tweets below!

#1

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Exploding Unicorn Report

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Wulfur
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everyone loving this should get the book "The owner's manual to terrible parenting" it's so funny

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#2

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Brian Gaar Report

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Puddin Tane
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, nothing like not wanting to be reminded of the people who either did you wrong or you just plain didn't like.

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#8

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XplodingUnicorn Report

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Nicholas McGuinness
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.* deep breath*. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.*another deep breath*. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehahahahahahahahahahahahaheheheheheheheheheheheh .*sigh*

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Danielle Goedhart
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This story made me pee my pants :D. I wonder what the long story is :D

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#19

Funny Fatherhood Tweets

AmateurIdiot Report

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Maureen Mower
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

LOL.... my son was super picky about food. But I learned early on that anything mixed with Kraft Mac & Cheese would be eaten without question. I'd buy that stuff by the case!!

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#23

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Conan O'Brien Report

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Suleika Cremers
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope he also explained that the 38% was not just taken away, but pays for roads, public schools, parks, etc..

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#24

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Abe Yospe Report

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Lily Mae Kitty
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

we always told my nieces they were sleeping. Sometimes we'd add that it was a terrible place to take a nap.

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#25

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XplodingUnicorn Report

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Maureen Mower
Community Member
7 years ago

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I bet she learned that at home too, especially at bedtime, in stores, and any time you had to take her to the doctor or dentist!! ;)

#26

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TheCatWhisprer Report

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Maureen Mower
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Considering your Twitter handle, this should not be a big change for you. Cats are pretty much the same, lol.

#30

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Simon Holland Report

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Maureen Mower
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Awww - celebrate his creativity. You can always paint the walls and reupholster the sofa later. :D

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#31

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Sammy Rhodes Report

#39

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Mark Report

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#42

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Exploding Unicorn Report

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Mikki Woodsmith
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My friends kid (now 15) only eats cheese sandwiches, chocolate biscuits and smoothies. Pizza apparently is nothing like a cheese sandwich lol

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#44

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Exploding Unicorn Report

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Otto Fabian
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go for the hanging bags, it'll trick your kids into exercising by making them jump continuously for it. Also ignore the silly b***h that said no candy.

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#51

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Lion Jenkins Report

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Jemma Bannocks
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh man, this every moment of every day! And sometimes the description is terrifying: "I can't find the little girl with worm hair and black eyes"!!! Lala Loopsy.

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#52

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Justin Guarini Report

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#53

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Robert Knop Report

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Virginia Su
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg thats so true. After school, I would go to my friend's house and we'd make her soft toys go to school, and even make little homework booklets and test booklets AHAHAHA

#56

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Robert Knop Report

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Cyan Berry
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ha-that was like my mom she used to alway throw away my stuff I would get my and yell at her

#57

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Simon Holland Report

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#59

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Dad an Buried Report

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#64

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DesignerDaddy Report

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Christina Adams
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am incredibly grateful for gummy vitamins, since my whole life's experience with 99% of regular vitamins involves me vomiting shortly after taking them (no matter what combination of food/water/lack thereof I tried with them) and gummies are the only ones I can tolerate. Simple, basic dental hygiene takes care of the sugar issue, they're much more appealing to kids and even us adults, and there are plenty of sugar free options available. I'd rather have a little sugar than no vitamins.

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#67

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Dad and Buried Report

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Maureen Mower
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait... my kid was suppose to pay me? Where do I file my complaint?

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#72

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Alex Nevil Report

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Hetal Vyas
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents do the number thing, being the oldest, I'm number 1!! There's a number 2 and 3!!

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#73

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fsuflores Report

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dougdoug
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

then they wake up first and scare the poo out of you with a loud bang in the kitchen

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#74

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Charlie N Andy Report

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Glen Mast
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Could be worse, when I was 5 I wanted to be a garbage collector ..... cause they get to ride on the back of the truck..... my parents bought me a toy garbage truck for my birthday

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#75

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The Alex Nevil Report

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Maureen Mower
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who could do that anyway? They seem to come up with some "new math" every decade or so... which makes very little sense to me. How many different ways can 2+2 equal 4?

#76

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simoncholland Report

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#80

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Simon Holland Report

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Maureen Mower
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My trick for that was to tell my son I needed to make dinner, so why not write the story and then I can read it after he goes to sleep. Either he'd get lots of writing practice, or the story would end right then!!

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#81

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Sven Amish Report

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#83

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Mark Report

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#85

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Mark Report

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Maureen Mower
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Somehow I was expecting the last word of that sentence to be something far less legal.

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#86

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RealDMK Report

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#87

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TheAlexNevil Report

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#89

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Goats? Report

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magaly buitrago
Community Member
7 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i remember collecting those when i was little lol i use to look for them everywhere