Don't you even pretend that you've never used a fake excuse to leave work early, end a date, or justify why you haven't done your homework. And while some perhaps use somewhat believable work excuses for being late, such as being stuck in traffic when you simply wanted to get some extra Zzzs, some reasons can get pretty... ridiculous.
While some funny fake excuses may be believable to some level, sometimes, reasons to skip work get so outlandish that they surprise even the ones who have heard it all, aka the HR department. The most ridiculous, stupid excuses people have come up with just show the power of human imagination. However, the dilemma with funny excuses is that if the reason is legit (because sometimes you really do get drunk by accident), do you say the actual cause or come up with a more plausible explanation? Just some food for thought.
However, this is not it if you are looking for a list of excuses to help you pull off a sickie or bulletproof excuses to get out of work. Below, we've compiled a list of funny excuses for missing work that likely were a little too far-fetched and didn't assure a day off. Have you ever used a fake reason to skip work? Or perhaps you work in HR and hear the lamest excuses to get out of work regularly? Let us know!
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A random man broke in last night and he’s asleep on my couch.
My dog asked me to stay home.
My dog’s depressed.
I fell over in the shower and knocked myself out.
I used to fall in the shower a lot (and up/down stairs, or pass out after going up stairs) due to an undiagnosed medical condition. Was always covered in bruises and it used to make me late for work a lot. My boss didn’t believe me at first and would say things like you said that last time. Ended up just showering at night to try and make sure I wouldn’t have any accidents in the morning!
An employee’s wife found out he was cheating, and he had to spend the day retrieving his belongings from the dumpster.
A fox stole my car keys while I was asleep.
I had a dream that my cat died and now I’m afraid to leave her.
😢 this happened to me.. my mom told me to go back to sleep, that it was just a nightmare, but it wasn't. Not entirely anyway..
We think the house is haunted so we’ve called a priest.
I don’t know where I am.
Guilty, get anxious in big car parks and always forget where I park. It’s like a face blindness thing but with landmarks if that makes sense? Nothing looks familiar and I get confused. So now if going to regular places I always try and park in the same space as a routine. Anyway. Once had a massive panic attack at a multi-storey and couldn’t remember which floor I’d parked on, ended up being nearly an hour late back from lunch and in a right old state 🤦🏻♀️ Learned a lesson, if it’s a new place I take a photo of where or what level i parked on!
An employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.
An employee was at their office but fell asleep in the parking lot.
There’s a crocodile in my house.
An employee had to attend the funeral of his wife’s cousin’s pet because he was an uncle and pallbearer.
An employee said that someone glued her doors and windows shut so she couldn’t leave the house to come to work.
An employee woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it.
Somebody stole my car’s wheels.
You think this is a joke? In 2002 I was heavily pregnant with my 1st child, I wake up to my neighbour screaming hysterically that someone had stolen his wheels! I get managed to get up and waddle to the front door to see his little VW CitiGolf on bricks 🤣😂🤣😂🤣 we lived in a security estate with guards patrolling.....
Grandma has lost her glasses and she needs me.
I saw a UFO and I had to stop and observe it.
An employee couldn’t come in because his llama wouldn’t stop barfing.
The employee said that he couldn’t come to work because his fortune-teller had asked him not to step out of the house or he would suffer a brain hemorrhage.
An employee was experiencing traumatic stress from a large spider found in her home and had to stay home to deal with it.
The employee insisted he’d locked himself in his house by mistake and that the house did not have any windows to crawl out of.
An employee accidentally drove to their former employer’s location even though they haven’t worked there for five years.
I went to get petrol but I couldn’t get the cap off because my hands are too moisturized, so I had to call my boyfriend to come and do it for me.
An employee had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.
An employee was late because they overslept because their kids changed all the clocks in the house.
An employee ordered a pizza that was late being delivered, and they had to be home to accept/pay for it.
I ordered a taxi but it arrived over 20 minutes late.
An employee was an hour late because an astrologer warned them of a car accident on a major highway, so they took all backroads.
An employee claims their dog ate their work schedule.
My dog literally ate my homework once. God that was embarrassing. They all laughed so I showed them the paper. Someone even claimed I had my dog eat it on purpose 😤. Like I'd do that to my babies!
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