ADVERTISEMENT

Reviews are a great way to share honest opinions about a product or service and guide others on whether or not it’s worth their interest. But with a lot of online reviews spots open to anyone with an email address and an internet connection, it begs the question of how helpful some written reviews can be.

In fact, if you dive deeper, you’ll find all sorts of bizarre and ridiculous reasons for both great and terrible feedback. And some business owners even go as far as fighting back against their naysayers, resulting in some unprofessional but hilarious responses.

In a viral tweet, @therimaahmed highlighted some of the best examples of review drama found online. There are restaurant reviews that don’t even talk about the food, absurd facts shared by visitors, and plenty of feisty replies to boot as well. Check them out below and rate the best ones.

Google has really branched out since it was first founded over twenty years ago. Starting off as a way to locate websites in the early days of the web, it's now able to search for anything and everything that you can think of. It’s hard to imagine how we go without it nowadays. 

For example, let’s say you’re looking for a fine restaurant to dine out at. In the pre-Google days, you might need to read reviews in the local paper, check the phone book for their number, and maybe even check a map if you’re unfamiliar with the address. Now, we get all this and much, much more in just a few clicks.

Hey, we’re not trying to shill Google here, we’re just explaining the facts. Google is the world’s largest and most influential search engine, and it’s able to draw in all kinds of information about the world around us. We depend on it so much, especially over the lockdowns and restrictions in recent years.

With everyone being connected 24/7, we can get what we're after so quickly and easily. This also means that businesses can get their products or services into the hands of others with the same amount of ease. The online market is arguably the most important one in today’s era of connectedness and business reviews are just one part of this, albeit an important one.

ADVERTISEMENT
#3

Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

jonbaker1968 Report

Getting to the top of Google’s results (with glowing reviews) is now a goal that many businesses want to achieve. It helps to fuel their success and, in turn, drive profit. Online reviews are tantamount to customers' decisions in parting with their hard-earned cash.

In fact, a survey on how they affect customers was completed by BrightLocal — a company that helps businesses to rank higher on online searches. BrightLocal’s 2020 survey found that 87% of consumers read online reviews for businesses before their visit. 34% of that number state that they almost always check reviews before visiting.

#5

Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

xGFiend_ Report

Add photo comments
POST
samlomb avatar
Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What kind of soulless monster doesn't enjoy swarms of butterflies? I've been to butterfly houses before, last time to Hershey with my mom and it was a magical experience.

maxwatson1991 avatar
Max
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a massive phobia of butterflies and moths, which I discovered after my parents forced me to go into a butterfly house at the age of 11. Nothing quite cements a fear like a dinnerplate-sized moth.

Load More Replies...
s-jlieber avatar
lol idk
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

its called a butterfly farm. its like going to pizza hut expecting waffles.

zeljkoklaric78_1 avatar
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Other one star reviews from that person include: The beach - "Awful place if you don't enjoy sand or water"; The city - "Awful place if you don't enjoy buildings and streets"; The restaurant - "Awful place if you don't enjoy food"; The zoo - "Awful place if you don't enjoy animals"

carolyngerbrands avatar
Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What an idiot! Butterflies are up there with bees ! Love 'em.

patriciaross avatar
tuzdayschild
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey I know, I'll review a roller coaster: it moves much too fast and goes up way to high. Plus, I had to wait in line just to get on. See! Anyone can give something a negative review for being exactly what it is, it's easy.

icanhazpanda avatar
Raven DeathShade
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have you ever gone on the Fury 325? It goes 325 feet in the air, drops nearly straight down for 320 of those feet, and goes up to 95 miles an hour.

Load More Replies...
idrow avatar
Id row
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait, they're complaining about butterflies - at a butterfly farm?

riggs688 avatar
Vee Dub
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Awful review if you don't enjoy wrong plurals ("butterfly's) ...

anavicenteferreira avatar
Ana Ferreira
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why, why, why would you go to a butterfly farm if you don't like butterflies? What exactly were they expecting?

ryandeschanel avatar
Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a whole new level of stupid. What will be next? Too many old paintings at the Louvre? Too much Catholicism at Notre Dame ? Too many squirrels in Central Park? Are the Niagara Falls too wet?

suecorvette avatar
BatPig
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can’t believe he tried to eat the fruit! 😂😂😂

regnwyn avatar
Rei
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That one would be inspiration for the artist who makes these great signs from bad national park reviews.

jameskramer avatar
James016
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I went to Rhodes a few years ago we went to the Butterfly sanctuary. It was awesome

stampfreak avatar
Suz66
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who goes to a butterfly farm and complain about all the butterflies? What did they expect besides free fruit!

alisoneboroski avatar
SomePeopleCallMeMaurice
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reviewers name seems apt! What did they expect at a butterfly farm, anyway?

nfrlprdpr avatar
Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like going to the Grand Canyon and calling it a hole. Some people ought to stay at home

kathinka avatar
Katinka Min
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why wouldt you go to a butterfly farm when you dont like butterfliees? And why on earth would you want grab fruit lying around at a public place???

corinemcmillan avatar
Artoonist Corine
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand that some people do not like bugs and butterflies, but I guess I don't understand what the reviewer expected. It was a butterfly house. If they did any research at all into the place they were going to visit - I would imagine they would see a room full of butterflies that you walk through...

weiserhouse avatar
Irish Lad
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope the butterfly farm wrote a counter to this saying that SlimePanda was mean to the butterflies and had to be removed or banned from the place.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

Another takeaway from BrightLocal’s survey shows that only 48% of consumers would consider using a business with less than a 4-star rating. Whilst 4-stars means generally good reviews, less than that could mean there’s room for improvement. 12% of people in the survey were so critical that they wouldn’t even use a business with less than 5-star reviews.

ADVERTISEMENT
#7

Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

TheSqish Report

Add photo comments
POST
bp_10 avatar
WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Heydrich was a Nazi responsible for a lot of atrocities who got wounded in an assassination and died of his wounds in the Bulovka Hospital. He was one of the evil minds behind the "final solution to the Jewish question".

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

BrightLocal’s survey confirms that those shiny gold stars influence us most — they were noted as the top factor in our decision-making. Other factors included the legitimacy, recency, sentiment, and quantity of the reviews. People also noted whether or not businesses responded to reviews as well, with 20% of reviewers in the survey expecting a response from the owners within a business day.

#10

Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

15Deloreans Report

Add photo comments
POST
zairahriyas avatar
Pearl
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ahh. Again with the "literally". I would love to see how someone could figuratively find a dead body in the parking lot. Funny review though

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

But responding to bad reviews is also tricky as no one likes to hear negative feedback or confront their critics. Whilst some of them are generally unhelpful and people like to just complain, accepting them and staying professional is part of moving past them. Although, it’s difficult to know what to say when you see reviews like the ones here. 

ADVERTISEMENT

Responding to positive reviews is equally important — it shows the human side of the business that people can identify with more. Not to mention, it’s just polite to say thanks for a compliment as well. With customers leaving their reviews and potential customers seeing replies to them, it builds a great image for a business.

See Also on Bored Panda

It can be a balancing act to manage both the good and bad reviews, but it’s proven to be a vital part of the business. Andrew Thomas, an entrepreneur and business consultant, has a theory that there is a secret ratio behind online reviews that can help a business to thrive.

Writing in Inc. magazine, he said: “It takes roughly 40 positive customer experiences to undo the damage of a single negative review. The ratio is derived from a combination of human behavior, math, and logic.”

“A customer who has a negative experience is highly likely to share that experience by leaving a bad review. A customer who has a positive experience, on the other hand, is unlikely to leave a good review. In my experience, only 1 in 10 happy customers leaves a good review.” 

ADVERTISEMENT
#18

Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

PukeyPuke420 Report

Add photo comments
POST
carolyngerbrands avatar
Caro Caro
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I break down in shop. I cry. Owner pat my shoulder. I stop cry. Go home. Bye.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

Andrew also knows the importance of star ratings. He said, “Your company or product rating (typically out of five stars) reflects an overall average of good and bad reviews. So, if your goal is to maintain an overall rating of 4-stars, you'll need four 5-star reviews to make up for every 1-star review.” 

“Assuming that only 1 of every 10 happy customers leaves a positive 5-star review, and knowing that it takes four 5-star reviews to make up for each 1-star review, you can figure it takes 40 positive customer experiences to make up for a single bad review.”

#20

Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

somecallmemaria Report

Add photo comments
POST
ryandeschanel avatar
Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Their health, their choice, now give them that f*****g salt

View more commentsArrow down menu
#21

Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

RobertFifoot Report

Add photo comments
POST
7whatever avatar
Nora12
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a feeling that this review makes more sense if you know about UK politics. According to google Diane Abbott is a Labour Party Member of Parliament while Jeremy Corbin served as a leader of the Labour Party.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda

It goes without saying but keeping customers happy results in great reviews. Andrew explained his philosophy for business owners: “When you focus on boosting customer happiness, it helps prevent the negative experiences that lead to bad reviews. And, according to the math, avoiding bad reviews is even more important than getting good reviews.” 

“Positive customer reviews are one of the most important factors for your success, and the surest way to get them is by providing an outstanding customer experience," he said.

"Take the time to understand the customer review ratio, and then evaluate your product and customer service. Doing so will help you master customer satisfaction and avoid the bad reviews that are so challenging to overturn.”

#24

Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

Cbv_Music Report

Add photo comments
POST
sallyapple7 avatar
Sally Appleton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"The coffee was just warm" Well how far did your labourer have to walk to get it to you?

View more commentsArrow down menu

And if you can’t keep customers happy, be ready to face the unhappy reviewers. So, what should you do as a business owner when you have to reply to the dreaded 1-star reviews? Hubspot, an online marketing platform, published a guide on how to respond to all kinds of reviews. Aside from providing responses to use, they outline the key points that businesses should use when writing back to customers about negative reviews. 

Evaluate the feedback first of all — think about what you want to say and don’t send a response loaded with emotion. A bad reply could tarnish your reputation even more if it’s on a public platform. If you can, reach out to the customer privately to make them understand that you do care. You might even be able to turn their opinion into a positive one and they walk away feeling better about the experience whilst saving your hide.

If you’ve made mistakes in their experience, be empathetic and apologize to your customers. Find out why this happened if it wasn’t clear and try to resolve it for them. This way, you’ll know what to do if it happens to another customer in the future. You can even offer an incentive for their next visit such as a discount or even something "with compliments" (A.K.A. free). Finally, sign off the review with your name so customers know that they’re speaking to a real human, not a faceless company.

#25

Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

Khatmandont Report

Add photo comments
POST
ryandeschanel avatar
Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"It sucks, but my grandfather made it, so I hereby decree that you are not allowed to say it"

View more commentsArrow down menu
#26

Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

GeoffreyofAnjou Report

Add photo comments
POST
ryandeschanel avatar
Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are we supposed to always assume the owner's response is right and the customer's comment is wrong?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#27

Funny-Dramatic-Google-Reviews

MoiraPrime Report

Add photo comments
POST
bp_10 avatar
WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When the facts presented do not fit your agenda. The review was probably written by one of the former presidents press secretaries.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

But we can’t help but enjoy when reviews or their responses kick up some drama though. It must be difficult to remain professional as an owner when some reviews are just begging to be ripped on. Again, think about what you want to say before you leave a review or respond to one. After all, you might just end up on a Bored Panda article.