Trying to determine what makes a good (or bad) dad joke is not so easy, but there are some certain ingredients that we can name. First of all, the one-liner has to be administered by a dad (not necessarily your own), it has to be both corny and somewhat amusing, and most of all it just has to have a hackneyed pun to make it the best joke ever. Although not everyone is a big fan of that type of comedy gold, there is a certain amount of appreciation any person can have for a well-timed funny pun. Especially if it's followed by thunderous laughter from the person and the classic finger-guns pose.

Oh, and if you're a dad joke aficionado like we are, you might be surprised to know, as to where these inappropriate jokes stem from. So, the first theory is because your beloved father just feels nostalgic to those times when you were little and laughed at just about anything. The other approach for these hilarious jokes is a much more anticipated one - your father wants to embarrass you as much as he can while he can. And that's precisely what these funny jokes are meant to do.

Scroll down below to see some of the best funny dad jokes around and don't forget to comment and vote for your favorites.

#1

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

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JillVille
Community Member
1 year ago

So sorry Brian, one day he'll get it! lol

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#2

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

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Last Hurrah
Community Member
1 year ago

Right on!

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#3

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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JillVille
Community Member
1 year ago

Groan - nice one!

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#4

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

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Last Hurrah
Community Member
1 year ago

Freeze it and then drill holes in it.

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#5

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

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glowworm2
Community Member
1 year ago

Ha! I like this one.

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#6

Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

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Molly Tallmadge
Community Member
1 year ago

^&*((&^%%^&*( IT!

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#7

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

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Iván Galarraga
Community Member
1 year ago

"I REST MY CASE!"

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#8

The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

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Alexis Nobuyuki
Community Member
1 year ago

Pfft! Corny

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#9

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

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Iván Galarraga
Community Member
1 year ago

You must obey gravity, it's the law

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#10

What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

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Iván Galarraga
Community Member
1 year ago

He's on third base, no wait, that's I don't know

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#11

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know

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Lynn Noyes
Community Member
1 year ago

Re the riddle, eggs came first. Dinosaurs laid eggs.

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#12

What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language

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Rebekah
Community Member
1 year ago

Dammit - you got me.

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#13

My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

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Misterscooter
Community Member
1 year ago

Ha!

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#14

A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

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Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
1 year ago

"Jamaica pie?" "Nah, that's a Bahama split."

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#15

My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."

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JillVille
Community Member
1 year ago

Teehee

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#16

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!

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Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
1 year ago

There's an interesting fact about the cemetery in my area - it's the dead centre of the town.

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#17

My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.

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Aidan Andrew Allott
Community Member
11 months ago

He wants to die

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#18

Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater.

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BlackestDawn
Community Member
1 year ago

*groans* took me a few secs to get it but, well done.

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#19

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

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Steven H
Community Member
1 year ago

I knew you'd get "a round" to that joke...

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#20

MOM: "How do I look?" DAD: "With your eyes."

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mhubert10
Community Member
1 year ago

adopting this one

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#21

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.

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Max Harkins
Community Member
1 year ago

OOF. That was pretty terrible, all right.

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#22

What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”

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S.
Community Member
1 year ago

Imagine the zombie apocalypse beginning, but it's just annoying zombies stealing your bread. “FRED! THE DEAD EFFAHS STOLE MAH CEREAL AGAIN ” ”well, at least we now know they're actually made of grain, honey.”

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#23

Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!

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PeachPossum
Community Member
1 year ago

At least you didn't SOIL them

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#24

3 unwritten rules of life...
1.
2.
3.

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earringnut
Community Member
1 year ago

This one literally just made me laugh out loud.

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#25

If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?

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Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
1 year ago

I wonder whether the iFB would iNvestigate...

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#26

Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

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Adam Cantor
Community Member
1 year ago

That ok, today i heard Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook are all merging. They're going to call it You-Twit-Face.

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#27

Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!

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thepotatogirl
Community Member
1 year ago

BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY

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#28

I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”

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Wyndmere
Community Member
1 year ago

Is this the same Brian who believes his kids thinks his name is Mark?

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#29

KID: "Dad, make me a sandwich!" DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!”

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K. LNU
Community Member
1 year ago

Yup. This one has got to be from my dad.

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#30

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.

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nether man
Community Member
1 year ago

so sad

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#31

SERVER: "Sorry about your wait." DAD: "Are you saying I’m fat?”

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Caroline Beale
Community Member
1 year ago

hahahah this one literally made me lol

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#32

What has two butts and kills people? An assassin

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Daniel Wee
Community Member
1 year ago

lollll

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#33

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY

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Ian Taggart
Community Member
1 year ago

I had to say it out loud.

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#34

CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?" DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”

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earringnut
Community Member
1 year ago

*insert joke about Canada here*

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#35

What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

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Monika Soffronow
Community Member
1 year ago

It certainly is.

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#36

When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: "They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”

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TrAsh
Community Member
1 year ago

Eye scream, you scream, we all scream....cause we're bleeding out.

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#37

If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave.

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Christopher Dixon
Community Member
1 year ago

Wow guys. He will be rolling (joints made out of pot) while in his grave. Please man, just...just get it.

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#38

What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.

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elllie
Community Member
2 months ago

labracadabracanadabrador = canadian magic dog

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#39

5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

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Monty Is Fiennes
Community Member
1 year ago

They're just being vulgar....

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#40

Why couldn't the bike standup by itself? It was two tired.

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earringnut
Community Member
1 year ago

Both a pun and the physical explanation.

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#41

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!

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Iván Galarraga
Community Member
1 year ago

DontSeemedeerly?

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#42

GRANDPA: I have a 'dad bod', DAD: To me it's more like a father figure.

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Lexi Burnsed
Community Member
9 months ago

heheheheheahhaa good one

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#43

What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.

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Mindi Macsurak
Community Member
8 months ago

My dad said that one all the time

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#44

When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!

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Rose the Cook
Community Member
1 year ago

Her field surely.

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#45

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1

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Monika Soffronow
Community Member
1 year ago

If you don't get it, please see a speech therapist...

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#46

I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

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Siddharth Rath
Community Member
1 year ago

*grinnnnnnn*

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#47

When you ask a dad if he's alright: "No, I’m half left.”

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Alex Bailey
Community Member
1 year ago

Defo my dad. If you said 'what?' To him he would also say 'no I'm not hot thanks'.

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#48

KID: "Hey, I was thinking…" DAD: "I thought I smelled something burning.”

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Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
1 year ago

I used to say this to my sisters. They never laughed... :-)

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#49

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

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Moe Less
Community Member
1 year ago

Not so much, but edible.

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#50

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Bob Beltcher
Community Member
1 year ago

I used to say this one. Never got a laugh lol.

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#51

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.

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Napo Allenius-Tapiovaara
Community Member
1 year ago

at school octopuses take testicles.

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#52

SON: *hands my Dad his 50th birthday card*, DAD: You know, one would have been enough.

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wolf cub snow
Community Member
5 months ago

*double sigh*

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#53

When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding.

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Bob Beltcher
Community Member
1 year ago

Go ahead, tell that to her while she's giving birth.

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#54

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here."

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Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
1 year ago

A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?" The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

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#55

Can February March? No, but April May!

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Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
1 year ago

Why was six sad? Because seven eight nine.

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#56

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

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Wyndmere
Community Member
1 year ago

classic punning

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#57

Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish.

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Jason Chebe
Community Member
8 months ago

why did the fisherman never SHARES? BECAUSE HE SELLFISH

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#58

To call the whole Elon Musk controversy “Elon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch.

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Unknown
Community Member
1 month ago

his full name is Elongated Muskrat

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#59

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

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Siddharth Rath
Community Member
1 year ago

Is he ok?

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#60

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. If the cow has no legs, then it’s ground beef.

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ta ham
Community Member
1 year ago

What do you call a dead fly? A flew….

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#61

I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!

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Moe Less
Community Member
1 year ago

In 4th grade I wrote a story of beavers making small "damns." Teacher did not notice. Maybe afraid to notice...

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#62

What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-na.

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Caleigh
Community Member
1 year ago

You’re lying if you didn’t read that like the song.

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#63

When you ask a dad if they got a haircut: "No, I got them all cut!"

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bailey gough
Community Member
9 months ago

What did the guy say when he arrived in Antartica? Well that wasn't a warm welcome

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#64

Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop? Forever 21.

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Spirit Animations
Community Member
1 year ago

*a vampire that could use their time being immortal to research cancer* you know what? I'm going to the mall today!

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#65

GROCERY STORE CHECKER: "Paper or plastic?" DAD: "Either, I’m bisacktual.”

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Elijah Bradshaw
Community Member
9 months ago

guess i'll just die then

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#66

What did the horse say after it tripped? "Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

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My O My
Community Member
1 year ago

Giddyup giddyup giddyup let's go *singing

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#67

You know what the loudest pet you can get is? A trumpet.

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Adham Magdy
Community Member
11 months ago

dammm

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#68

Why wasn't the woman happy with the velcro she bought? It was a total ripoff.

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MAGZOFFICIAL
Community Member
11 months ago

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

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#69

What noise does a 747 make when it bounces? Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.

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Bradley Buma
Community Member
9 months ago

haha 69

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#70

I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.

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Zoe Page
Community Member
10 months ago

why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honey combs

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#71

What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory.

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MAGZOFFICIAL
Community Member
11 months ago

nope *looks at more dad jokes cus i have no life*

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#72

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”

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Isaiah Hawkins
Community Member
3 months ago

that was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo funny

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#73

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!

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Deacon DeSchepper
Community Member
10 months ago

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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#74

You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there? European.

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Tyler Ittai Anthony
Community Member
1 year ago

First you Russian...then European...then Finnish

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#75

I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.

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Ricardo Haselbach
Community Member
10 months ago

my favorite number of the alphabet is blue

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#76

WAITRESS: "Soup or salad?" DAD: "I don’t want a SUPER salad, I want a regular salad.”

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Scott1983 Cawthon
Community Member
11 months ago

I actually misunderstood someone saying SUPERSALAD but they were just saying soup or salad

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#77

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

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Natasha Moore
Community Member
1 week ago

I wish it bit my sister then it would have rabies...

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#78

What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño your face.

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Whitney Speight-Carlin
Community Member
1 year ago

What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business.

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#79

As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.

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Jason Chebe
Community Member
8 months ago

i dont think thats what your manenger wants to hear

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#80

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind... it's tearable.

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Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
1 year ago

"Did you hear the one about the bed?" "No." "That's because it hasn't been made up yet!"

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#81

Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!

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Pessimist Reviewer
Community Member
11 months ago

Just imagine a chicken sedan.

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#82

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino.

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Natasha Moore
Community Member
1 week ago

Ligers will help you ...........................................................Never to be seen again mwahahahahaha

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#83

I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie. Man, they really grilled me.

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Arthur Lewis
Community Member
4 months ago

You shouldn't steal anything made of cheese if it's nachos.

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#84

If you rearrange the letters of “Postmen”. They get really pissed off.

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Carol Emory
Community Member
1 year ago

It took me two reads to get this one...Duh!

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#85

A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I’m looking for the man who shot my paw."

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Charlie Holmes
Community Member
11 months ago

This is one of my all-time favorites. When my kids were young(er), I would tell this joke every evening at the supper table. I did that for over a year, so I'm sure it'll be passed down to my grandkids and, hopefully, generations after. At least I'll have a legacy. 8^] I've always spoken the punchline using my best John Wayne impersonation.

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#86

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!

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Noah Melancon
Community Member
3 months ago

ha

#87

You heard of that new band 1023MB? They're good but they haven't got a gig yet.

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Jason Chebe
Community Member
8 months ago

no a gig yeet

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#88

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.

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Conner Shafer
Community Member
3 months ago

actually true tho

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#89

Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.

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Marc Stevens
Community Member
7 months ago

They repealed that law. They discovered it was more important that the cows had a well-rounded diet.

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#90

What do you call a lonely cheese? Provolone.

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Aidan Rance
Community Member
1 year ago

I'm fetta-p with bad food puns, even i'm not that old! You'll need a stronger start if you want to keep up with me. lol

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#91

DAD, TO A SINGER: "Don’t forget a bucket." SINGER: "Why?" DAD: "To carry your tune."

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Samantha Morgan
Community Member
3 weeks ago

I know so many people that would come up with something like that

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#92

I told my 14 year old son I thought 'Fortnite' was a stupid name for a computer game. I think it is just too weak.

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thepotatogirl
Community Member
1 year ago

?

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#93

How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!

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Roen Lugar
Community Member
10 months ago

why would you do that

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#94

How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.”

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WingedPug
Community Member
1 year ago

What dad would say that to his kid?

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#95

What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.

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Mr Hopper
Community Member
1 week ago

HAHAHAHAHA THAT SSO FUUNNY HAHAHA I WILL LAUGH

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#96

Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.

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Marissa S
Community Member
8 months ago

OK song, HILARIOUS joke!

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#97

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!

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Tootoo
Community Member
7 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Sup uglyburger

#98

NURSE: "Blood type?" DAD: "Red."

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Natasha Moore
Community Member
1 week ago

The oxygen touches your cells and turn them red

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#99

What do you call a fish with two knees? A “two-knee” fish.

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Ryan Osbourn
Community Member
2 months ago

Blow fish

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