Trying to determine what makes a good (or bad) dad joke is not so easy, but there are some certain ingredients that we can name. First of all, the one-liner has to be administered by a dad (not necessarily your own), it has to be both corny and somewhat amusing, and most of all it just has to have a hackneyed pun to make it the best joke ever. Although not everyone is a big fan of that type of comedy gold, there is a certain amount of appreciation any person can have for a well-timed funny pun. Especially if it's followed by thunderous laughter from the person and the classic finger-guns pose.

Oh, and if you're a dad joke aficionado like we are, you might be surprised to know, as to where these inappropriate jokes stem from. So, the first theory is because your beloved father just feels nostalgic to those times when you were little and laughed at just about anything. The other approach for these hilarious jokes is a much more anticipated one - your father wants to embarrass you as much as he can while he can. And that's precisely what these funny jokes are meant to do.

Scroll down below to see some of the best funny dad jokes around and don't forget to comment and vote for your favorites.

#1

Can I Have A Book Mark?

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

Tface Report

#2

Sense Of Direction

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

porichoygupto Report

#3

Perfect Pun

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

Alessia_Fisher Report

#4

Holy Water

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

tymoski Report

#5

Trippy Shoes

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

motherfkersantana Report

#6

Origin Of French Fries

Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

somekindahuman Report

Molly Tallmadge
Community Member
4 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#7

Nap Time Puns

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

korpsart Report

#8

Donald Duck

The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

ldrescher Report

mitch
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

they're dad jokes that what they're supposed to be

Load More Replies...
Jasmine Lewis
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who has two butts and kills people? Assassins.

Kyle Snedegar
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

stop taking the spotlight jasmine, your just like ya fathjer. where am i

Load More Replies...
Neema Alumasa
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lololololol!! Get it?coz his name is Donald and he need's to duck!! * cricket noises* ( I found that 1 funny tho!)

Jacob Flora
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This comment has been deleted.

EeveeTrainer 209
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

OH MY GOSH WHEN DID DONALD DUCK BECOME OUR PRESIDENT.

Maria Windsor
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agribitr! Utrgyfkfyu! UFKD^YGUHIUGKYFTDERYTYUIOUYTREDFGHJKNBVCDRTYUIOIU*&^%$#@@$%^&*UHGGFDRTYGHNVBCFGHBV!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ................................... WHY

Tibor Hollmann
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This killed me. Used to watch Mickey Mouse all the time

Susanne B
Community Member
8 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh no, even he doesn't deserve it, or does he?

Dawn Marie
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That describes that president, a cartoon character!!!

Phoenix
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ha ha ha ha hah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Gaige Mcgann
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

please drop off your breathing licence at the exit

Delanie Clements
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this is amazing thank you for blessing the world with this joke. All hail dad jokes.

Thomas Jenkinson
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

HAHAHA\HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Isidoro ReyesVega
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

what do you call a two headed dog? a double dog

nether man
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

VHENSGJVJKSFJQOSJKDMNV NSDFGVB DXCGHWHEYFVUWHEBVGHJYKFUSUFUDFHGAUASJFVYUDFSAUFHGHWEHHFUI&W*EFGSYIDHSIHFYUSGDFHSDHVBUISGV URBYUVGSYGSUKGYUVGYUEGVSBUEVUGYUDVGYUSEHVYUSVWEGCYUSFEBGVUYSFGYUFYUIFCYUAGDYUGWCTGSEVCBWETFBAYUCBWRYUVGSYDFGHKGSHDFGWUEFGVCSYUEVCYUSEFGC

Trey Crow
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are you okay nether, I know the nether can get to you budmp chsssss

Load More Replies...
Graham Andrews
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can they shout "Donald....fuck off" instead. Thanks in advance

B Walko
Community Member
4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I've said that so many times before it was here it's not funny.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#9

Concepts Of Gravity

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

raheel1122 Report

#10

Nobody Knows

What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

Lee_Hey_pat Report

#11

Which Came First?

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know

JohnathanWickers Report

Lynn Noyes
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Re the riddle, eggs came first. Dinosaurs laid eggs.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#12

Least Spoken Language

What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language

A_Sea_Cucumber Report

#13

Conversation Starter

My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

madazzahatter Report

#14

Pie Rates

A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

porichoygupto Report

#15

Single Handedly The Best

My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."

thunderup_14 Report

#16

Dying To Get There

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!

AshleyJack Report

Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's an interesting fact about the cemetery in my area - it's the dead centre of the town.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#17

Meaning Well

My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.

StewPaddasso Report

#18

Serving Justice

Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater.

Spider_Dimwit Report

BlackestDawn
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*groans* took me a few secs to get it but, well done.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#19

Sir Arthur's Knights

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

omgthatspunny Report

#20

Logical Explanation

MOM: "How do I look?" DAD: "With your eyes."

Report

#21

Silent P

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.

Capetoider Report

#22

Vegetarian Zombie

What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”

PolesawPolska Report

S.
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine the zombie apocalypse beginning, but it's just annoying zombies stealing your bread. “FRED! THE DEAD EFFAHS STOLE MAH CEREAL AGAIN ” ”well, at least we now know they're actually made of grain, honey.”

View More Replies...
View more comments
#23

Excited For Spring

Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!

mblondie Report

#24

Rules Of Life

3 unwritten rules of life...
1.
2.
3.

madazzahatter Report

#25

Witnessing A Robery

If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?

Gingafer81 Report

#26

Company Mergers

Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

AshleyJack Report

Adam Cantor
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That ok, today i heard Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook are all merging. They're going to call it You-Twit-Face.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#27

Untrustworthy Particles

Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!

letrollface1279 Report

#28

Name-Giving

I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”

madazzahatter Report

Wyndmere
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this the same Brian who believes his kids thinks his name is Mark?

View More Replies...
View more comments
#29

Magician Dad

KID: "Dad, make me a sandwich!" DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!”

th0nkii Report

#30

Invisible Man

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.

DeathEater101 Report

#31

Server's Nightmare

SERVER: "Sorry about your wait." DAD: "Are you saying I’m fat?”

Report

#32

No More Butts

What has two butts and kills people? An assassin

LeCrowing Report

#33

Happy Anniversary

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY

Muter Report

#34

Would You Like A Bag?

CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?" DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”

ChiePie Report

#35

Pros And Cons

What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

Lliizzaarrddd Report

#36

Ice Cream Truck

When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: "They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”

IABDPresents Report

TrAsh
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eye scream, you scream, we all scream....cause we're bleeding out.

View More Replies...
View more comments
#37

Ever Rolling

If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave.

porichoygupto Report

Christopher Dixon
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow guys. He will be rolling (joints made out of pot) while in his grave. Please man, just...just get it.

View more comments
#38

Magic Spells

What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.

offmlc Report

elllie
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

labracadabracanadabrador = canadian magic dog

View more comments
#39

Math Problems

5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

jnnx3 Report

#40

Feeling Tired

Why couldn't the bike standup by itself? It was two tired.

TheLast0ne_ Report

#41

Funny Dad Jokes

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!

ElderCunningham Report

#42

Funny Dad Jokes

GRANDPA: I have a 'dad bod', DAD: To me it's more like a father figure.

maryfountain Report

#43

Funny Dad Jokes

What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.

smithy2004 Report

#44

Funny Dad Jokes

When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!

Report

#45

Funny Dad Jokes

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1

BombOmbBuddy Report

#46

Funny Dad Jokes

I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

TheSupraDixk Report

#47

Funny Dad Jokes

When you ask a dad if he's alright: "No, I’m half left.”

Admblackhawk Report

Alex Bailey
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Defo my dad. If you said 'what?' To him he would also say 'no I'm not hot thanks'.

View more comments
#48

Funny Dad Jokes

KID: "Hey, I was thinking…" DAD: "I thought I smelled something burning.”

AshleyJack Report

Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to say this to my sisters. They never laughed... :-)

View More Replies...
View more comments
#49

Funny Dad Jokes

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

BradC Report

#50

Funny Dad Jokes

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

usernamemispeled Report

#51

Funny Dad Jokes

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.

superdrew91 Report

See Also on Bored Panda
#52

Funny Dad Jokes

SON: *hands my Dad his 50th birthday card*, DAD: You know, one would have been enough.

porichoygupto Report

#53

Funny Dad Jokes

When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding.

ownworldman Report

#54

Funny Dad Jokes

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here."

bobbyperuse Report

Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?" The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

View More Replies...
View more comments
#55

Funny Dad Jokes

Can February March? No, but April May!

guts_full_of_meat Report

#56

Funny Dad Jokes

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

_solidwarp_ Report

#57

Funny Dad Jokes

Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish.

Mr_McMuffins Report

Jason Chebe
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why did the fisherman never SHARES? BECAUSE HE SELLFISH

View more comments
#58

Funny Dad Jokes

To call the whole Elon Musk controversy “Elon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch.

JuIius_Seizure95 Report