Trying to determine what makes a good (or bad) dad joke is not so easy, but there are some certain ingredients that we can name. First of all, the one-liner has to be administered by a dad (not necessarily your own), it has to be both corny and somewhat amusing, and most of all it just has to have a hackneyed pun to make it the best joke ever. Although not everyone is a big fan of that type of comedy gold, there is a certain amount of appreciation any person can have for a well-timed funny pun. Especially if it's followed by thunderous laughter from the person and the classic finger-guns pose.

Oh, and if you're a dad joke aficionado like we are, you might be surprised to know, as to where these inappropriate jokes stem from. So, the first theory is because your beloved father just feels nostalgic to those times when you were little and laughed at just about anything. The other approach for these hilarious jokes is a much more anticipated one - your father wants to embarrass you as much as he can while he can. And that's precisely what these funny jokes are meant to do.

Scroll down below to see some of the best funny dad jokes around and don't forget to comment and vote for your favorites.

#1

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

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JillVille
Community Member
2 years ago

So sorry Brian, one day he'll get it! lol

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#2

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

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glowworm2
Community Member
2 years ago

I love this one.

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#3

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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JillVille
Community Member
2 years ago

Groan - nice one!

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#4

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

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Last Hurrah
Community Member
2 years ago

Freeze it and then drill holes in it.

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#5

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

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glowworm2
Community Member
2 years ago

Ha! I like this one.

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#6

Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

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SnowyLynx
Community Member
2 years ago

Dang

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#7

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

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Last Hurrah
Community Member
2 years ago

No, but the parents could be guilty of kidnapping.

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#8

The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

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B Walko
Community Member
2 years ago

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I've said that so many times before it was here it's not funny.

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#9

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

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Iván Galarraga
Community Member
2 years ago

You must obey gravity, it's the law

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#10

What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

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Max L.
Community Member
2 years ago

I think I know this dad son.

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#11

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know

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Bob Beltcher
Community Member
2 years ago

The egg will come broken but a day early. The chick will be returned to send because UPS will claim they can't find the address even though they delivered the egg yesterday.

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#12

What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language

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Rebekah
Community Member
2 years ago

Dammit - you got me.

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#13

My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

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Misterscooter
Community Member
2 years ago

Ha!

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#14

A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

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Hamdhaan Hassan
Community Member
2 years ago

nice

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#15

My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."

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JillVille
Community Member
2 years ago

Teehee

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#16

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!

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Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
2 years ago

There's an interesting fact about the cemetery in my area - it's the dead centre of the town.

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#17

My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.

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Leah Curtis
Community Member
2 years ago

I don't get this one.

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#18

Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater.

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BlackestDawn
Community Member
2 years ago

*groans* took me a few secs to get it but, well done.

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#19

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

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Steven H
Community Member
2 years ago

I knew you'd get "a round" to that joke...

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#20

MOM: "How do I look?" DAD: "With your eyes."

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mhubert10
Community Member
2 years ago

adopting this one

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#21

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.

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Max Harkins
Community Member
2 years ago

OOF. That was pretty terrible, all right.

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#22

What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”

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S.
Community Member
2 years ago

Imagine the zombie apocalypse beginning, but it's just annoying zombies stealing your bread. “FRED! THE DEAD EFFAHS STOLE MAH CEREAL AGAIN ” ”well, at least we now know they're actually made of grain, honey.”

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#23

Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!

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Siddharth Rath
Community Member
2 years ago

WHOOOAAAAAA

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#24

3 unwritten rules of life...
1.
2.
3.

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earringnut
Community Member
2 years ago

This one literally just made me laugh out loud.

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#25

If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?

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Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
2 years ago

I wonder whether the iFB would iNvestigate...

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#26

Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

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Adam Cantor
Community Member
2 years ago

That ok, today i heard Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook are all merging. They're going to call it You-Twit-Face.

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#27

Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!

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Cherry
Community Member
2 years ago

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Heard this one already

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#28

I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”

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candycripple=-)
Community Member
2 years ago

lol

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#29

KID: "Dad, make me a sandwich!" DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!”

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K. LNU
Community Member
2 years ago

Yup. This one has got to be from my dad.

Connor McGowan
Community Member
1 year ago

that is sik

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Moe Less
Community Member
2 years ago

Gimme a rubber band sandwich. And make it snappy!

Cameron Horn
Community Member
1 year ago

I thought that was a crocodile sandwich - and make it snappy.

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Elisse Goldstein-Clark
Community Member
11 months ago

My mother actually said something similar to my grandmother. Grandma was VERY angry and said she was leaving and "call me a taxi". My mom said, "OK, mom, you're a taxi". Grandma was NOT amused...

Haylie Reddy
Community Member
1 year ago

KID: "But dad I'm hungry." DAD: "Hi Hungry! I'm Dad!"

Madison Knight
Community Member
1 year ago

LOL.!>!>!>!>< PERFECTO!

Simon Fox
Community Member
3 months ago

My dad has said the exat same thing

Simon Fox
Community Member
3 months ago

My dad has said this is exact same thing before.

EMILY HANNA
Community Member
6 months ago

my mom would say that to my little sister all of the time

Vincent Sun
Community Member
7 months ago

Plot twist: kid's name is Jill

Veruca Salt
Community Member
11 months ago

lol classic response from my mom.

Nevaeh Polissaint
Community Member
11 months ago

my dad

Veronika Sheppeard
Community Member
12 months ago

‘Dad I’m hungry ‘ “hi hungry I’m dad that’s mom and that’s brother”

Morgan Overcash
Community Member
1 year ago

Such a good dad joke.

Billie Hart
Community Member
1 year ago

same energy as "i need you to call me an ambulance" - "youre an ambulance neenaw"

Abigail Downer
Community Member
1 year ago

ha.

MAXIME H
Community Member
1 year ago

love this one

Luna Province
Community Member
1 year ago

like the I'm hungry hi hungry I'm dad joke

SHADOWDUDE 3737
Community Member
1 year ago

Yep. Same here

Jeffery Mohr
Community Member
1 year ago

lol seriously???

MICHAEL CALLEY
Community Member
1 year ago

LOL

EeveeTrainer 209
Community Member
1 year ago

This has got to be from my best friends dad

Mia Maguire
Community Member
1 year ago

lol I relate to this one

Olivia WILSON
Community Member
1 year ago

yes! You got it bang on!!

elllie
Community Member
1 year ago

yaas

Brent Collins
Community Member
1 year ago

My grandpa say the same thing everytime

Jason Ishibashi
Community Member
1 year ago

sudo “Dad, make me a sandwich!”

Kendra Chambers
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

Samuel Johnston
Community Member
1 year ago

¿fresh prince anyone?

Ivan Vigil
Community Member
1 year ago

let me fw u

Ayanna Mett
Community Member
1 year ago

Yeah my dad said this all the time XD

Ty Bates
Community Member
1 year ago

magic is fake

ANTISEPTICEYE DARKIPLIER
Community Member
2 years ago

I never had a dad but I had a step dad who was like this

Pessimist Reviewer
Community Member
2 years ago

That kid will have identity problems later on.

Ian Taggart
Community Member
2 years ago

Guest: "Call me a cab." Doorman: "Okay you're a cab."

Madison Cashen
Community Member
2 years ago

*bites hand* "But i don't taste like one!"

Keuthonymos
Community Member
2 years ago (edited)

I wonder what made him call his child poof

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#30

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.

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My O My
Community Member
2 years ago (edited)

Now that's bad

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#31

SERVER: "Sorry about your wait." DAD: "Are you saying I’m fat?”

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Caroline Beale
Community Member
2 years ago

hahahah this one literally made me lol

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#32

What has two butts and kills people? An assassin

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Daniel Wee
Community Member
2 years ago

lollll

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#33

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY

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Happiness is Hippo
Community Member
2 years ago

I’m sure I’ve had this one from my Dad :D

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#34

CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?" DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”

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earringnut
Community Member
2 years ago

*insert joke about Canada here*

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#35

What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

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Monika Soffronow
Community Member
2 years ago

It certainly is.

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#36

When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: "They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”

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TrAsh
Community Member
2 years ago

Eye scream, you scream, we all scream....cause we're bleeding out.

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#37

If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave.

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Christopher Dixon
Community Member
2 years ago

Wow guys. He will be rolling (joints made out of pot) while in his grave. Please man, just...just get it.

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#38

What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.

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Michael awdry
Community Member
2 years ago

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How to pronounce : lab- are - ca - dab- ra- dor

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#39

5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

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Bob Beltcher
Community Member
2 years ago

13/12 statistics are made up.

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#40

Why couldn't the bike standup by itself? It was two tired.

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earringnut
Community Member
2 years ago

Both a pun and the physical explanation.

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#41

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!

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Iván Galarraga
Community Member
2 years ago

DontSeemedeerly?

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#42

GRANDPA: I have a 'dad bod', DAD: To me it's more like a father figure.

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Lexi Burnsed
Community Member
1 year ago

heheheheheahhaa good one

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#43

What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.

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SnowyLynx
Community Member
2 years ago

Nope, this one makes me cringe too much

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#44

When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!

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Rose the Cook
Community Member
2 years ago

Her field surely.

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#45

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1

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Monika Soffronow
Community Member
2 years ago

If you don't get it, please see a speech therapist...

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#46

I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

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Siddharth Rath
Community Member
2 years ago

*grinnnnnnn*

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#47

When you ask a dad if he's alright: "No, I’m half left.”

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Alex Bailey
Community Member
2 years ago

Defo my dad. If you said 'what?' To him he would also say 'no I'm not hot thanks'.

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#48

KID: "Hey, I was thinking…" DAD: "I thought I smelled something burning.”

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Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
2 years ago

I used to say this to my sisters. They never laughed... :-)

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#49

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

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Moe Less
Community Member
2 years ago

Not so much, but edible.

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#50

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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Bob Beltcher
Community Member
2 years ago

I used to say this one. Never got a laugh lol.

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#51

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.

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Napo Allenius-Tapiovaara
Community Member
2 years ago

at school octopuses take testicles.

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#52

SON: *hands my Dad his 50th birthday card*, DAD: You know, one would have been enough.

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Elijah Jaycox-Aubrey
Community Member
1 year ago

...

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#53

When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding.

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Bob Beltcher
Community Member
2 years ago

Go ahead, tell that to her while she's giving birth.

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#54

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here."

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Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
2 years ago

A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?" The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

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#55

Can February March? No, but April May!

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Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
2 years ago

Why was six sad? Because seven eight nine.

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#56

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

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Michael awdry
Community Member
2 years ago

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Ok none others did but I groaned this one. Bad. Away foul pun. Be gone.

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#57

Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish.

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Belle_Pandamonium
Community Member
2 years ago

lol

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#58

To call the whole Elon Musk controversy “Elon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch.

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Wyndmere
Community Member
2 years ago

Heheeheeeheeee

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#59

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

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Siddharth Rath
Community Member
2 years ago

Is he ok?

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#60

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. If the cow has no legs, then it’s ground beef.

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Gemma Lees
Community Member
2 years ago

This one doesn't work here sadly as we call it 'minced beef', anyone got any ideas with that?

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#61

I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!

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Moe Less
Community Member
2 years ago

In 4th grade I wrote a story of beavers making small "damns." Teacher did not notice. Maybe afraid to notice...

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#62

What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-na.

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Caleigh
Community Member
2 years ago

You’re lying if you didn’t read that like the song.

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#63

When you ask a dad if they got a haircut: "No, I got them all cut!"

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earringnut
Community Member
2 years ago

If you have a dad, you've heard this one.

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#64

Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop? Forever 21.

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Spirit Animations
Community Member
2 years ago

*a vampire that could use their time being immortal to research cancer* you know what? I'm going to the mall today!

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#65

GROCERY STORE CHECKER: "Paper or plastic?" DAD: "Either, I’m bisacktual.”

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Elijah Bradshaw
Community Member
1 year ago

guess i'll just die then

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#66

What did the horse say after it tripped? "Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

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My O My
Community Member
2 years ago

Giddyup giddyup giddyup let's go *singing

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#67

You know what the loudest pet you can get is? A trumpet.

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Ceamm
Community Member
2 years ago

The most annoying pet? Incompetence.

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#68

Why wasn't the woman happy with the velcro she bought? It was a total ripoff.

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MAGZOFFICIAL
Community Member
2 years ago

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

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#69

What noise does a 747 make when it bounces? Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.

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Bradley Buma
Community Member
2 years ago

haha 69

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#70

I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.

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Zoe Page
Community Member
2 years ago

why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honey combs

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#71

What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory.

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Caleigh
Community Member
2 years ago

That was too cringey. I’m leaving. Bye. *walks away*

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#72

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”

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Вера Контрабандист
Community Member
2 years ago

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Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink.

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#73

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!

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MAGZOFFICIAL
Community Member
2 years ago

reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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#74

You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there? European.

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Tyler Ittai Anthony
Community Member
2 years ago

First you Russian...then European...then Finnish

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#75

I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.

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MAGZOFFICIAL
Community Member
2 years ago

im only familiar with one and that's F

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#76

WAITRESS: "Soup or salad?" DAD: "I don’t want a SUPER salad, I want a regular salad.”

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S.
Community Member
2 years ago

Let super salad have its own superhero movie.

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#77

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

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S.
Community Member
2 years ago

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Why did the vampire not bite Taylor Swift?

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#78

What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño your face.

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Monika Soffronow
Community Member
2 years ago

?

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#79

As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.

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Turbulence
Community Member
2 years ago

best clash royale puns

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#80

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind... it's tearable.

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Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
2 years ago

"Did you hear the one about the bed?" "No." "That's because it hasn't been made up yet!"

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#81

Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!

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MAGZOFFICIAL
Community Member
2 years ago

no just no

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#82

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino.

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Wyndmere
Community Member
1 year ago

Groan

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#83

I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie. Man, they really grilled me.

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Robert Boudreau
Community Member
1 year ago

Yeet

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#84

If you rearrange the letters of “Postmen”. They get really pissed off.

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Carol Emory
Community Member
2 years ago

It took me two reads to get this one...Duh!

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#85

A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I’m looking for the man who shot my paw."

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Larissa P
Community Member
2 years ago

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A three-legged Lauren walks into a bar and says to the dude in the back “can I suck your penis”

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#86

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!

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Noah Melancon
Community Member
1 year ago

ha

#87

You heard of that new band 1023MB? They're good but they haven't got a gig yet.

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Jason Chebe
Community Member
1 year ago

no a gig yeet

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#88

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.

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Conner Shafer
Community Member
1 year ago

actually true tho

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#89

Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.

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Pessimist Reviewer
Community Member
2 years ago

Oooooooh

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#90

What do you call a lonely cheese? Provolone.

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Colin Tucker
Community Member
2 years ago

Better yet... What do you call a lonely cheese in Utah?

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#91

DAD, TO A SINGER: "Don’t forget a bucket." SINGER: "Why?" DAD: "To carry your tune."

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Roen Lugar
Community Member
2 years ago

Wow

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#92

I told my 14 year old son I thought 'Fortnite' was a stupid name for a computer game. I think it is just too weak.

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thepotatogirl
Community Member
2 years ago

?

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#93

How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!

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Pessimist Reviewer
Community Member
2 years ago

No, just no

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#94

How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.”

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My O My
Community Member
2 years ago

😂😂😂

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#95

What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.

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Lucan Bongers
Community Member
2 years ago

Ha ha that’s chezzy

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#96

Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.

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MAGZOFFICIAL
Community Member
2 years ago

no

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#97

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!

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Tootoo
Community Member
1 year ago

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Sup uglyburger

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#98

NURSE: "Blood type?" DAD: "Red."

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Tootoo
Community Member
1 year ago

Sup uglyburger

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#99

What do you call a fish with two knees? A “two-knee” fish.

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Gemma Lees
Community Member
2 years ago

I don't get this one!

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