Trying to determine what makes a good (or bad) dad joke is not so easy, but there are some certain ingredients that we can name. First of all, the one-liner has to be administered by a dad (not necessarily your own), it has to be both corny and somewhat amusing, and most of all it just has to have a hackneyed pun to make it the best joke ever. Although not everyone is a big fan of that type of comedy gold, there is a certain amount of appreciation any person can have for a well-timed funny pun. Especially if it's followed by thunderous laughter from the person and the classic finger-guns pose.

Oh, and if you're a dad joke aficionado like we are, you might be surprised to know, as to where these inappropriate jokes stem from. So, the first theory is because your beloved father just feels nostalgic to those times when you were little and laughed at just about anything. The other approach for these hilarious jokes is a much more anticipated one - your father wants to embarrass you as much as he can while he can. And that's precisely what these funny jokes are meant to do.

Scroll down below to see some of the best funny dad jokes around and don't forget to comment and vote for your favorites.

#1

Can I Have A Book Mark?

Today, my son asked "Can I have a book mark?" and I burst into tears. 11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Brian.

Tface Report

#2

Sense Of Direction

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.

porichoygupto Report

#3

Perfect Pun

DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

Alessia_Fisher Report

#4

Holy Water

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.

tymoski Report

#5

Trippy Shoes

I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!

motherfkersantana Report

#6

Origin Of French Fries

Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

somekindahuman Report

Molly Tallmadge
Community Member
4 years ago

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#7

Nap Time Puns

If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?

korpsart Report

#8

Donald Duck

The secret service isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

ldrescher Report

#9

Concepts Of Gravity

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

raheel1122 Report

#10

Nobody Knows

What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.

Lee_Hey_pat Report

#11

Which Came First?

I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know

JohnathanWickers Report

Lynn Noyes
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Re the riddle, eggs came first. Dinosaurs laid eggs.

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#12

Least Spoken Language

What is the least spoken language in the world? Sign language

A_Sea_Cucumber Report

#13

Conversation Starter

My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?" What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

madazzahatter Report

#14

Pie Rates

A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.

porichoygupto Report

#15

Single Handedly The Best

My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."

thunderup_14 Report

#16

Dying To Get There

When a dad drives past a graveyard: Did you know that's a popular cemetery? Yep, people are just dying to get in there!

AshleyJack Report

Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's an interesting fact about the cemetery in my area - it's the dead centre of the town.

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#17

Meaning Well

My friend keeps saying "cheer up man it could be worse, you could be stuck underground in a hole full of water." I know he means well.

StewPaddasso Report

#18

Serving Justice

Justice is a dish best served cold, if it were served warm it would be justwater.

Spider_Dimwit Report

BlackestDawn
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*groans* took me a few secs to get it but, well done.

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#19

Sir Arthur's Knights

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

omgthatspunny Report

#20

Logical Explanation

MOM: "How do I look?" DAD: "With your eyes."

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#21

Silent P

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.

Capetoider Report

#22

Vegetarian Zombie

What does a zombie vegetarian eat? “GRRRAAAAAIIIINNNNS!”

PolesawPolska Report

S.
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine the zombie apocalypse beginning, but it's just annoying zombies stealing your bread. “FRED! THE DEAD EFFAHS STOLE MAH CEREAL AGAIN ” ”well, at least we now know they're actually made of grain, honey.”

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#23

Excited For Spring

Spring is here! I got so excited I wet my plants!

mblondie Report

#24

Rules Of Life

3 unwritten rules of life...
1.
2.
3.

madazzahatter Report

#25

Witnessing A Robery

If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?

Gingafer81 Report

#26

Company Mergers

Did you hear the news? FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

AshleyJack Report

Adam Cantor
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That ok, today i heard Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook are all merging. They're going to call it You-Twit-Face.

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#27

Untrustworthy Particles

Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!

letrollface1279 Report

#28

Name-Giving

I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”

madazzahatter Report

Wyndmere
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this the same Brian who believes his kids thinks his name is Mark?

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#29

Magician Dad

KID: "Dad, make me a sandwich!" DAD: "Poof, you’re a sandwich!”

th0nkii Report

#30

Invisible Man

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it.

DeathEater101 Report

#31

Server's Nightmare

SERVER: "Sorry about your wait." DAD: "Are you saying I’m fat?”

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#32

No More Butts

What has two butts and kills people? An assassin

LeCrowing Report

#33

Happy Anniversary

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? AYE MATEY

Muter Report

#34

Would You Like A Bag?

CASHIER: "Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?" DAD: "No, just leave it in the carton!’”

ChiePie Report

#35

Pros And Cons

What's the best part about living in Switzerland? I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

Lliizzaarrddd Report

#36

Ice Cream Truck

When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: "They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”

IABDPresents Report

TrAsh
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eye scream, you scream, we all scream....cause we're bleeding out.

John Glynn
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stolen from Morcambe and Wise.

Jeffery Mohr
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i literally lol that's something my dad would say

Ben Mackay
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's from an old tv show. Comedy gold!

Llama Queen
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I scream, you scream, the ambulance and police come, it's awkward :\

Kristen Stammer
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I scream, you scream. The police come, it’s awkward.

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#37

Ever Rolling

If Snoop Dogg dies before pot becomes legal in the US, he will be rolling in his grave.

porichoygupto Report

Christopher Dixon
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow guys. He will be rolling (joints made out of pot) while in his grave. Please man, just...just get it.

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#38

Magic Spells

What do you call a dog that can do magic? A Labracadabrador.

offmlc Report

elllie
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

labracadabracanadabrador = canadian magic dog

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#39

Math Problems

5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions.

jnnx3 Report

#40

Feeling Tired

Why couldn't the bike standup by itself? It was two tired.

TheLast0ne_ Report

#41

Funny Dad Jokes

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea!

ElderCunningham Report

#42

Funny Dad Jokes

GRANDPA: I have a 'dad bod', DAD: To me it's more like a father figure.

maryfountain Report

#43

Funny Dad Jokes

What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.

smithy2004 Report

#44

Funny Dad Jokes

When a dad drives past a cow pasture: LOOK! That cow is OUT-STANDING in his field!

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#45

Funny Dad Jokes

What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1

BombOmbBuddy Report

#46

Funny Dad Jokes

I used to have a job at a calendar factory but I got the sack because I took a couple of days off.

TheSupraDixk Report

#47

Funny Dad Jokes

When you ask a dad if he's alright: "No, I’m half left.”

Admblackhawk Report

Alex Bailey
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Defo my dad. If you said 'what?' To him he would also say 'no I'm not hot thanks'.

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#48

Funny Dad Jokes

KID: "Hey, I was thinking…" DAD: "I thought I smelled something burning.”

AshleyJack Report

Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I used to say this to my sisters. They never laughed... :-)

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#49

Funny Dad Jokes

A termite walks into a bar and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"

BradC Report

#50

Funny Dad Jokes

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

usernamemispeled Report

#51

Funny Dad Jokes

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.

superdrew91 Report

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#52

Funny Dad Jokes

SON: *hands my Dad his 50th birthday card*, DAD: You know, one would have been enough.

porichoygupto Report

#53

Funny Dad Jokes

When a woman is giving birth, she is literally kidding.

ownworldman Report

#54

Funny Dad Jokes

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here."

bobbyperuse Report

Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A string walks into a bar with a few friends and orders a beer. The bartender says, "I'm sorry, but we don't serve strings here." The string goes back to his table. He ties himself in a loop and messes up the top of his hair. He walks back up to the bar and orders a beer. The bartender squints at him and says, "Hey, aren't you a string?" The string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

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#55

Funny Dad Jokes

Can February March? No, but April May!

guts_full_of_meat Report

#56

Funny Dad Jokes

What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

_solidwarp_ Report

#57

Funny Dad Jokes

Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish.

Mr_McMuffins Report

Jason Chebe
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why did the fisherman never SHARES? BECAUSE HE SELLFISH

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#58

Funny Dad Jokes

To call the whole Elon Musk controversy “Elon-Gate” seems like a bit of a stretch.

JuIius_Seizure95 Report

#59

Funny Dad Jokes

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted.

ConcaveMishap Report

#60

Funny Dad Jokes

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef. If the cow has no legs, then it’s ground beef.

allmyritz Report

#61

Funny Dad Jokes

I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!

atodaso Report

Moe Less
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In 4th grade I wrote a story of beavers making small "damns." Teacher did not notice. Maybe afraid to notice...

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#62

Funny Dad Jokes

What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-na.

mozeiny Report

Caleigh
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You’re lying if you didn’t read that like the song.

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#63

Funny Dad Jokes

When you ask a dad if they got a haircut: "No, I got them all cut!"

KEERTHIVLOGS Report

bailey gough
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What did the guy say when he arrived in Antartica? Well that wasn't a warm welcome

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#64

Funny Dad Jokes

Where did the college-aged vampire like to shop? Forever 21.

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Spirit Animations
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*a vampire that could use their time being immortal to research cancer* you know what? I'm going to the mall today!

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#65

Funny Dad Jokes

GROCERY STORE CHECKER: "Paper or plastic?" DAD: "Either, I’m bisacktual.”

AshleyJack Report

#66

Funny Dad Jokes

What did the horse say after it tripped? "Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

AshleyJack Report

#67

Funny Dad Jokes

You know what the loudest pet you can get is? A trumpet.

JonquilXanthippe Report

#68

Funny Dad Jokes

Why wasn't the woman happy with the velcro she bought? It was a total ripoff.

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#69

Funny Dad Jokes

What noise does a 747 make when it bounces? Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.

wehavechocolate Report

#70

Funny Dad Jokes

I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.

Boomkiller Report

Zoe Page
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use a honey combs

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#71

Funny Dad Jokes

What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory.

TotalBuilder45 Report

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#72

Funny Dad Jokes

A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge says, "First offender?" She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!”

FunnyGenious Report

#73

Funny Dad Jokes

Did you hear about the circus fire? It was in tents!

ROTFLandmines Report

Deacon DeSchepper
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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#74

Funny Dad Jokes

You're American when you go into the bathroom, and you're American when you come out, but do you know what you are while you're in there? European.

twofirstkinds Report

#75

Funny Dad Jokes

I’m only familiar with 25 letters in the English language. I don’t know why.

IsaiaHarris03 Report

#76

Funny Dad Jokes

WAITRESS: "Soup or salad?" DAD: "I don’t want a SUPER salad, I want a regular salad.”

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Scott1983 Cawthon
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually misunderstood someone saying SUPERSALAD but they were just saying soup or salad

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#77

Funny Dad Jokes

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

dadjokes Report

Natasha Moore
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish it bit my sister then it would have rabies...

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#78

Funny Dad Jokes

What does an angry pepper do? It gets jalapeño your face.

Peekatchu1997 Report

#79

Funny Dad Jokes

As a lumberjack, I know that I’ve cut exactly 2,417 trees. I know because every time I cut one, I keep a log.

TF79870 Report

#80

Funny Dad Jokes

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind... it's tearable.

boris73 Report

Dian Ella Lillie
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Did you hear the one about the bed?" "No." "That's because it hasn't been made up yet!"

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#81

Funny Dad Jokes

Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!

Lee_Hey_pat Report

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#82

Funny Dad Jokes

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino.

K4RAB_THA_ARAB Report

David Geurtsen
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No no no....it’s What do you get if you cross a hippopotamus, an elephant, and a rhinoceros? Helephino (hell if I know) BUT...this does use the word ‘hell’ in this version. Wait, didn’t the original infer the word ‘hell’?

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#83

Funny Dad Jokes

I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie. Man, they really grilled me.

TheHaleyBaby Report

Arthur Lewis
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You shouldn't steal anything made of cheese if it's nachos.

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#84

Funny Dad Jokes

If you rearrange the letters of “Postmen”. They get really pissed off.

porichoygupto Report

Carol Emory
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It took me two reads to get this one...Duh!

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#85

Funny Dad Jokes

A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I’m looking for the man who shot my paw."

USAneedsAJohnson Report

Charlie Holmes
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is one of my all-time favorites. When my kids were young(er), I would tell this joke every evening at the supper table. I did that for over a year, so I'm sure it'll be passed down to my grandkids and, hopefully, generations after. At least I'll have a legacy. 8^] I've always spoken the punchline using my best John Wayne impersonation.

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#86

Funny Dad Jokes

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!

MayorMcGrimace Report

#87

Funny Dad Jokes

You heard of that new band 1023MB? They're good but they haven't got a gig yet.

Gamer-Citrus Report

#88

Funny Dad Jokes

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.

Rohi0109 Report

#89

Funny Dad Jokes

Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.

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Marc Stevens
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They repealed that law. They discovered it was more important that the cows had a well-rounded diet.

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#90

Funny Dad Jokes

What do you call a lonely cheese? Provolone.

Versacepoop Report

Aidan Rance
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm fetta-p with bad food puns, even i'm not that old! You'll need a stronger start if you want to keep up with me. lol

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#91

Funny Dad Jokes

DAD, TO A SINGER: "Don’t forget a bucket." SINGER: "Why?" DAD: "To carry your tune."

_solidwarp_ Report

Samantha Morgan
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know so many people that would come up with something like that

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#92

Funny Dad Jokes

I told my 14 year old son I thought 'Fortnite' was a stupid name for a computer game. I think it is just too weak.

24two Report

#93

Funny Dad Jokes

How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!

BasedOnAir Report

#94

Funny Dad Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, "Ribbit, ribbit" and a horny toad says, "Rub it, rub it.”

turtleforeskin88 Report

#95

Funny Dad Jokes

What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.

Iplaychesssometimes Report

#96

Funny Dad Jokes

Why didn't the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.

omgthatspunny Report

#97

Funny Dad Jokes

Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!

madazzahatter Report

Jan Kowalski
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even a little horse deserves a bucket of water at least. Stop animal cruelty!

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#98

Funny Dad Jokes

NURSE: "Blood type?" DAD: "Red."

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#99

Funny Dad Jokes

What do you call a fish with two knees? A “two-knee” fish.

blacklutefisk Report