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There are very few things in life that feel better than one-upping someone. Not too many of us will admit it, but it feels absolutely amazing when you prove someone wrong, show everyone you're right, and demolish others with well-placed witty comebacks. The best roasts end up on the 'Clever Comebacks' subreddit, a community of nearly 754k members, eagerly combing the corners of the internet for humorous, witty, and razor-sharp comebacks.

When it comes to being witty, there are two general approaches. The first one is firing off an instant quip, taking advantage of the perfect timing. It's a skill that you can develop over time. The second approach is taking a bit more time and carefully honing the perfect response for each situation. That's much easier done on the internet than in real life, but it's also something we can all do, no matter our current skill in cleverly taking others down a peg or two.

London-based British musical stand-up comedian, author, and comedy writer Ariane Sherine highlighted to Bored Panda in a follow-up interview what's most important when it comes to a clever comeback. "I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she said. Read on for her other insights about how we can all up our comedy game.

You'll find Bored Panda's earlier post about r/clevercomebacks right over here. Be sure to give it a read once you're done enjoying this list and upvoting the comebacks and epic burns that you personally feel deserve calling the fire brigade over.

#1

Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile

Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile

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#2

You Can Still Breathe Idiot

You Can Still Breathe Idiot

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Julie C Rose
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, the subject of double masking among people outside healthcare wouldn’t even have come up if Trumpy boy hadn’t been all “RAMPANTLY SPREADING COVID IN THE COMMUNITY IS FREEEEEEEEEEDUMB!!!1!” Signed, Our prime minister doesn’t like covid

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#3

It's Already Happening

It's Already Happening

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Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Isn't dean browning the guy who said "I'm a black guy and I can say Obama personally did nothing for me"

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Ariane told us that most stand-up comics have a "repertoire of comebacks" that they often share with others in their profession when it comes to tackling hecklers at shows. "We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," she said.

#4

Hypocritical, Hyperbolic, And Hyper Stupid

Hypocritical, Hyperbolic, And Hyper Stupid

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#5

Room Temperature Iq

Room Temperature Iq

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone from the US talking about rights is quite ironic in my opinion. Although I don’t see anywhere that suggests Gary is from the US.

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Comedian Ariane also opened up about an "awful stand-up show" that left her incredibly embarrassed. However humiliating the situation was, it was also an example of razor-like wit in action. "I started a joke by saying 'I'm single at the moment...' and a guy in the audience yelled, 'I'll shag you!' So I called his bluff and said, 'Come on up here then' and he shot back, 'Nah, I've taken a closer look and I don't fancy you!' Really humiliating and not much fun at all, but possibly quite amusing for the audience."

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#7

I Hope This Hasn’t Been Done Before

I Hope This Hasn’t Been Done Before

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Laura Mende (Human)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok, cool answer for that MF. BUT MUFASA!!! 😭😭😭😭😭 THIS WAS THE DAY MY CHILDHOOD ENDED!!!

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Ariane added that you gain emotional resilience as a comedian by becoming more experienced and practised at the comebacks. "You don't want to give them the chance to reject you, as I did previously— you've got to get in there first with a funny insult!"

#10

Simple, Yet Effective

Simple, Yet Effective

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a stupid tautology of a statement ffs. PSA: Feminism isn't attacking men for being men. It's equal right. So tiring to see this nonsense

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#11

Illegal Plants

Illegal Plants

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Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's why you never use religion to explain something... it often times contradicts itself.

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#12

Philip Brought A Tank In A Knife Fight

Philip Brought A Tank In A Knife Fight

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For those of us who have some trouble firing off clever retors, Ariane said that we can always take inspiration from comedians if things don't come naturally to us. "As I say, heckle putdowns are generally shared among comics so there's no code of honour when it comes to using them (but you mustn't nick original stand-up material!)" she said.

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#13

I Should Be Allowed To Pick The Oil Company I Die And Kill For!

I Should Be Allowed To Pick The Oil Company I Die And Kill For!

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Watching
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think telling the truth is a lack of respect. I think lying is a lack of respect.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I doubt if coming home from a war in a bodybag or with severe PTSD is so beneficial.

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Alphabet Soupy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, a family member was a Vietnam vet. He committed suicide at home, with his wife and kids there. The casualties aren’t just the troops, it’s their whole families and friends.

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Bacony Cakes
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey look! It's Osyriraqbanontarmenranstan! Let's attack it for no reason and steal its oil! There can be no negative consequences of this venture at all!

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Bob Belcher
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The military is the rich peoples group of poor that will die for peanuts to help the rich change the world in the shape that only benefits them.

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Jace
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Zero respect for the abuse of the American military for corporate special interests? Yes, correct: zero respect.

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CHRISTOPHER BRIDGER
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad is a marine, so Im not sure what to say. and no, he is not infantry he is civil affairs.

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DC
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Respect for what? For a system forcing you to join armed forces and put your life on the line for other people's profit, the exact same people depriving you from having access to basic healthcare without admitting yourself into decades of poverty, debt and struggle? F**k the military!

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Dave In MD
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, we all fight and die for oil. That why gas is only 5 cents a gallon.

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ADHD
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

well said, soldiers are not hereos. heroism died after WW2

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jimmy pop
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He has as much respect for the oil companies as they have for his life ...

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Lion's Stare
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Here's a take. America has been policing the world since the end of WWII. In that time we have bombed nations that have never bombed the US, helped to assassinate democratically elected political leaders, staged coups in other cases, sent in marines for unjustified reasons, unethically promoted American business interests abroad...and the list goes on. But in that same period, the standard of living has increased globally, there are less violent deaths per capita, more access to food, water and education. So aside from the effects of climate change, the world has become a much better place than it was 80 years ago. Also, a WWIII never happened. So do the ends justify the means? On the other hand, who's to say things would be even better had the US stepped back on the world stage? Well, had it not been the US in charge it would have just been another superpower, and nations don't become top dog by playing nice. That's the sad truth to how geopolitics works

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Zophra
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Honestly, I don't know enough to have a valid opinion, but I do know the concept of what MIGHT have theoretically/possibly happened is not a good argument.

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#14

Can Anyone Show Martha The Original Constitution ?

Can Anyone Show Martha The Original Constitution ?

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#15

Looking For Approval In All The Wrong Places

Looking For Approval In All The Wrong Places

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Earlier, I spoke to comedian Ariane about wit, comebacks, and comedic timing. The professional comedian explained to Bored Panda that when it comes to witty comebacks, they can be spontaneous as well as planned out.

#16

Common Sense Is Really Rare These Days

Common Sense Is Really Rare These Days

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#17

Whatttt !?? No Vegan Options At KFC!???

Whatttt !?? No Vegan Options At KFC!???

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cybermerlin2000
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As an amateur astronomer, I found this very informative. I will avoid World of Carpets. Thanks for the heads up

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#18

Damn... Guess My Opinion Is Invalid

Damn... Guess My Opinion Is Invalid

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A lot depends on the person thinking up the comeback as well as the particular situation they're in. After all, we've all had moments when we fire off a joke that's 10/10 without knowing how it came to us. We've also been in situations where we're in the shower washing our hair, and we suddenly come up with the ideal comeback to something someone said a week ago. Alas! Usually, it's too late to deploy that perfect comeback because it's far, far too late.

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#20

Maybe I Am Karen?

Maybe I Am Karen?

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#21

Bill Burr Everybody

Bill Burr Everybody

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Watching
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Got a love the religious right. Always the first to depend pedophilia.

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"I've definitely come up with comebacks that are spontaneous," Ariane shared. For instance, I told my daughter that if she didn't behave, I'd give her inheritance to a donkey sanctuary. She said, 'You wouldn't', and I came back, 'You bet your ass!' But though I hadn't used that comeback before, I clearly had knowledge of the pun and might have used something similar in the past."

#24

Vandalized Pineapple

Vandalized Pineapple

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As for finding the line between a regular comeback and one that makes you laugh out loud, according to comedian Ariane, it's clear for everyone to see when the comeback's good and when it falls flat on its face. "It needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable." When you break it down like that, the art of the comeback becomes even more daunting than it was before.

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Fortunately, our subconscious mind kicks in and takes over from us when we least expect it. (It could do that more often because it's bloody brilliant when it takes charge.) "But that's relatively rare in my experience. I'm sure many other comics are more natural than I am!" Ariane shared that it doesn't happen nearly as often as we'd like.

#25

When You Get Shot Down By Facts

When You Get Shot Down By Facts

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Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jim Hoft: thank you for braying your stupidity 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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#27

Who’ll Email You When You Block Him More Like This

Who’ll Email You When You Block Him More Like This

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Founded back in 2018, the 'Clever Comebacks' subreddit celebrated its third birthday back in January. Since then, it's amassed a huge following that keeps on growing. Since our last post about the community in December 2020, the number of members has grown from 679k to almost 754k.

Not everyone has the nuanced point of view that witty comebacks can be either impulsive or planned out. According to Rhea Wessel writing for the BBC, witty comebacks can only be made in the moment and timing is vital. Without it, there's no wit and no comeback worth remembering.

#28

They Lack Opposable Thumbs

They Lack Opposable Thumbs

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's with the antivaxxers thinking they are lions, I've seen a few of this. Poor lions, we musn't tar them with such a dumbass brush

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#29

Other People’s Kids Is A Surprisingly Great Form Of Birth Control

Other People’s Kids Is A Surprisingly Great Form Of Birth Control

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#30

This Is Not Your Business There Is A Something To Consider, You And Your Boss Do Illegal Things Every Day

This Is Not Your Business There Is A Something To Consider, You And Your Boss Do Illegal Things Every Day

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While we all secretly enjoy a spot of dark humor here and there, there's an advantage to choosing to go for more positive comebacks instead of negative ones. "Often the best retorts are comebacks that are witty, take the higher moral ground, are appropriate and most importantly, positive," Rhea writes on BBC Worklife.

Choosing positive comebacks over negative ones is especially important in a work setting which can affect the atmosphere and how employees feel about their jobs. "Positive comments are a far better tool for keeping projects on track while showing your love of linguistic acrobatics. Others will find the humor in them and you may see negative interactions quickly cease," Rhea explains.

#33

Totally True

Totally True

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Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also show me cain and abel's marriage certificates to their sisters

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#35

Now That Is Some Comeback!

Now That Is Some Comeback!

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's actually a cute way to turn a self depreciating put down type of thing into a sweet potential date or friend :)

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#39

Found On Fb... Personally I Found The Response To Be Quite A Zinger

Found On Fb... Personally I Found The Response To Be Quite A Zinger

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#41

Colorado Didn't Send Their Best Or Brightest

Colorado Didn't Send Their Best Or Brightest

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#44

I Would Prefer "Beeeeees Run Run"

I Would Prefer "Beeeeees Run Run"

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#45

Fascists Calling Others Fascists

Fascists Calling Others Fascists

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Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And a slew of chumpanzee twits who grew up on legitimate press suddenly believe in a fraudster like trump. Insane

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#46

Savage Comeback

Savage Comeback

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will add another, largely denies women’s rights for example domestic violence, sexual assault etc.

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#47

I Am More Better Than Everyone

I Am More Better Than Everyone

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#48

Kaepernick Has Entered The Chat

Kaepernick Has Entered The Chat

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Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The amounts of cults in the US is scary... how else would explain the republican party

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#50

Vaccinated Politician Tries To Call Out Elitism

Vaccinated Politician Tries To Call Out Elitism

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Note: this post originally had 95 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.