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There are very few things in life that feel better than one-upping someone. Not too many of us will admit it, but it feels absolutely amazing when you prove someone wrong, show everyone you're right, and demolish others with well-placed witty comebacks. The best roasts end up on the 'Clever Comebacks' subreddit, a community of nearly 754k members, eagerly combing the corners of the internet for humorous, witty, and razor-sharp comebacks.

When it comes to being witty, there are two general approaches. The first one is firing off an instant quip, taking advantage of the perfect timing. It's a skill that you can develop over time. The second approach is taking a bit more time and carefully honing the perfect response for each situation. That's much easier done on the internet than in real life, but it's also something we can all do, no matter our current skill in cleverly taking others down a peg or two.

London-based British musical stand-up comedian, author, and comedy writer Ariane Sherine highlighted to Bored Panda in a follow-up interview what's most important when it comes to a clever comeback. "I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she said. Read on for her other insights about how we can all up our comedy game.

You'll find Bored Panda's earlier post about r/clevercomebacks right over here. Be sure to give it a read once you're done enjoying this list and upvoting the comebacks and epic burns that you personally feel deserve calling the fire brigade over.

#1

Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile

Just Try Not Being Straight For Awhile

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#2

You Can Still Breathe Idiot

You Can Still Breathe Idiot

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Julie C Rose
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, the subject of double masking among people outside healthcare wouldn’t even have come up if Trumpy boy hadn’t been all “RAMPANTLY SPREADING COVID IN THE COMMUNITY IS FREEEEEEEEEEDUMB!!!1!” Signed, Our prime minister doesn’t like covid

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#3

It's Already Happening

It's Already Happening

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Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Isn't dean browning the guy who said "I'm a black guy and I can say Obama personally did nothing for me"

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Ariane told us that most stand-up comics have a "repertoire of comebacks" that they often share with others in their profession when it comes to tackling hecklers at shows. "We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," she said.

#4

Hypocritical, Hyperbolic, And Hyper Stupid

Hypocritical, Hyperbolic, And Hyper Stupid

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#5

Room Temperature Iq

Room Temperature Iq

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone from the US talking about rights is quite ironic in my opinion. Although I don’t see anywhere that suggests Gary is from the US.

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Comedian Ariane also opened up about an "awful stand-up show" that left her incredibly embarrassed. However humiliating the situation was, it was also an example of razor-like wit in action. "I started a joke by saying 'I'm single at the moment...' and a guy in the audience yelled, 'I'll shag you!' So I called his bluff and said, 'Come on up here then' and he shot back, 'Nah, I've taken a closer look and I don't fancy you!' Really humiliating and not much fun at all, but possibly quite amusing for the audience."

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#7

I Hope This Hasn’t Been Done Before

I Hope This Hasn’t Been Done Before

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Laura Mende (Human)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok, cool answer for that MF. BUT MUFASA!!! 😭😭😭😭😭 THIS WAS THE DAY MY CHILDHOOD ENDED!!!

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Ariane added that you gain emotional resilience as a comedian by becoming more experienced and practised at the comebacks. "You don't want to give them the chance to reject you, as I did previously— you've got to get in there first with a funny insult!"

#10

Simple, Yet Effective

Simple, Yet Effective

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a stupid tautology of a statement ffs. PSA: Feminism isn't attacking men for being men. It's equal right. So tiring to see this nonsense

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#11

Illegal Plants

Illegal Plants

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Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's why you never use religion to explain something... it often times contradicts itself.

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#12

Philip Brought A Tank In A Knife Fight

Philip Brought A Tank In A Knife Fight

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For those of us who have some trouble firing off clever retors, Ariane said that we can always take inspiration from comedians if things don't come naturally to us. "As I say, heckle putdowns are generally shared among comics so there's no code of honour when it comes to using them (but you mustn't nick original stand-up material!)" she said.

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#13

I Should Be Allowed To Pick The Oil Company I Die And Kill For!

I Should Be Allowed To Pick The Oil Company I Die And Kill For!

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#14

Can Anyone Show Martha The Original Constitution ?

Can Anyone Show Martha The Original Constitution ?

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#15

Looking For Approval In All The Wrong Places

Looking For Approval In All The Wrong Places

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Earlier, I spoke to comedian Ariane about wit, comebacks, and comedic timing. The professional comedian explained to Bored Panda that when it comes to witty comebacks, they can be spontaneous as well as planned out.

#16

Common Sense Is Really Rare These Days

Common Sense Is Really Rare These Days

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#17

Whatttt !?? No Vegan Options At KFC!???

Whatttt !?? No Vegan Options At KFC!???

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cybermerlin2000
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As an amateur astronomer, I found this very informative. I will avoid World of Carpets. Thanks for the heads up

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#18

Damn... Guess My Opinion Is Invalid

Damn... Guess My Opinion Is Invalid

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troufaki13
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a feeling this whole thing is getting out of hand... :(

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crazy_cat_notAlady
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

oh yes it is. i am indian and I referred to myself as "brown-skinned" a couple of days back and people were like "what..?! u cant say that?". really? i can't call *myself* brown? why? i would b grateful if someone could explain it to me though.

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Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the OP was referring to the myriad of fragile, entitled white people who gibber “racism” when they get called out.

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Gin Marie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who better to define the seriousness of the wound than the person who inflicted it? Makes perfect sense!

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Random Panda
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please pick up a history book and educate yourself on the multitudes of ethnic/racial conflicts that have existed all over the planet since the dawn of civilisation. The idea that racism can only be perpetuated by white people against people of color is incredibly ignorant at best.

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Jace
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand what he's talking about. It seems the point is being missed by people intentionally. They attack the technicalities of the language, rather than accepting the intention of the statement: white people don't get to tell other people what is or is not offensive to those people. This is a huge problem where white people say/do racist s**t and then declare "that's not racist"... and then turn it around and say "you're just mad at me because I'm white, so you're racist too!" It really gets tiresome to see people endlessly argue with the language just to avoid grasping the f*****g point.

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg yes! People will argue about the semantics, they not pick, anything but actually talk about the issue at hand.

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CatWoman312
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Racism can be performed by anyone. A black person can be just as a racist as white person. If you look up the actual definition it doesn’t say anything about minorities it simply says one who feels their race is superior to others.

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Aliquid A
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Depends on which definition you use. There is a definition that has been around for a long time that states (more or less) that "judging someone by their skin color is bigotry, but it doesn't escalate to racism until it is systemic, and one group has more power than the other". -- so in America, a black person can't be racist to a white person... because they don't have the overall society standing behind them and backing them up. And by this logic, In China a the Uyghurs can't be racist towards the Han Chinese, because the Chinese hold the power. -- I'm not asking you to agree with this definition, just letting you know that it is out there, and has been for a long time.

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bxttery_bxby
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guys, racism exists in all races. Literally. But the color of your skin doesn't matter. Be proud of who you are.

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blugeagua
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They most likely meant they shouldn't decide what is racist toward black people and other minorities because they'll never understand oppression.

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sylvantic
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i'm a white (kinda) person and i'm pretty sure that the n-word is very rascist unless you're black. kinda like calling someone a f**

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Lex
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What is this whole issue with race? There is no such thing as a superior human, and having more or less melanin in one's skin does not mean that one should not get a say.

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Nadya Raymond
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is nothing wrong with the word or being black... I live on an island that is literally in the sun and we are of different hues from Albino- white- light brown- caramel brown- brown- cocoa brown- blue black... I for one am caramel brown I don't want to be any lighter or darker I love the skin I'm in... but there is nothing wrong with the word or being black its just it comes with a very negative stigma brought on by slave masters... it was a way to disconnect the people and create a system of hierocracy.... penning black people and anyone associated with black as being at bottom of the every barrel making them and their indispensable like garbage... which is why Black Lives Matter because at the end of the day we are all Humans... honestly disliking someone just for the colour of their skin is the most ignorant thing... people like that are always insecure

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Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This term is "racism", just like when black people are insulted and called "traitors" because they are policemen.

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Janice Best
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one is pretty dumb. We white people don't get to decide what is racist, because we think *nothing* we do, or did, is racist. I mean, there is only one Black person who thinks slavery isn't racist (Kanye), but tons of white folks don't. We're stupid enough to think that if you're not a card-carrying member of the KKK, you're not racist. And we'll talk over any Black person who tries to tell us different. So, yeah..... Also, wouldn't it be cool, TShaw, if the only racist thing we did was tell Black people they couldn't have opinions? They'd appreciate the hell out of us for being so kind.

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TrashPandaru
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think he means 'white people don't get to tell black people what is and isn't racist'. And no, they don't.

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Damo Lee Park
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

white people deciding what anyone else calls racist is in and of itself, racist

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Leo Domitrix
Community Member
2 years ago

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I can't say, as a white person, that it's racist to pull someone over b/c they're black? Wait, what?

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A lot depends on the person thinking up the comeback as well as the particular situation they're in. After all, we've all had moments when we fire off a joke that's 10/10 without knowing how it came to us. We've also been in situations where we're in the shower washing our hair, and we suddenly come up with the ideal comeback to something someone said a week ago. Alas! Usually, it's too late to deploy that perfect comeback because it's far, far too late.

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#20

Maybe I Am Karen?

Maybe I Am Karen?

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#21

Bill Burr Everybody

Bill Burr Everybody

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Watching
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Got a love the religious right. Always the first to depend pedophilia.

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"I've definitely come up with comebacks that are spontaneous," Ariane shared. For instance, I told my daughter that if she didn't behave, I'd give her inheritance to a donkey sanctuary. She said, 'You wouldn't', and I came back, 'You bet your ass!' But though I hadn't used that comeback before, I clearly had knowledge of the pun and might have used something similar in the past."

#24

Vandalized Pineapple

Vandalized Pineapple

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As for finding the line between a regular comeback and one that makes you laugh out loud, according to comedian Ariane, it's clear for everyone to see when the comeback's good and when it falls flat on its face. "It needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable." When you break it down like that, the art of the comeback becomes even more daunting than it was before.

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Fortunately, our subconscious mind kicks in and takes over from us when we least expect it. (It could do that more often because it's bloody brilliant when it takes charge.) "But that's relatively rare in my experience. I'm sure many other comics are more natural than I am!" Ariane shared that it doesn't happen nearly as often as we'd like.

#25

When You Get Shot Down By Facts

When You Get Shot Down By Facts

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Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jim Hoft: thank you for braying your stupidity 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

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#27

Who’ll Email You When You Block Him More Like This

Who’ll Email You When You Block Him More Like This

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Founded back in 2018, the 'Clever Comebacks' subreddit celebrated its third birthday back in January. Since then, it's amassed a huge following that keeps on growing. Since our last post about the community in December 2020, the number of members has grown from 679k to almost 754k.

Not everyone has the nuanced point of view that witty comebacks can be either impulsive or planned out. According to Rhea Wessel writing for the BBC, witty comebacks can only be made in the moment and timing is vital. Without it, there's no wit and no comeback worth remembering.

#28

They Lack Opposable Thumbs

They Lack Opposable Thumbs

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's with the antivaxxers thinking they are lions, I've seen a few of this. Poor lions, we musn't tar them with such a dumbass brush

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#29

Other People’s Kids Is A Surprisingly Great Form Of Birth Control

Other People’s Kids Is A Surprisingly Great Form Of Birth Control

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#30

This Is Not Your Business There Is A Something To Consider, You And Your Boss Do Illegal Things Every Day

This Is Not Your Business There Is A Something To Consider, You And Your Boss Do Illegal Things Every Day

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While we all secretly enjoy a spot of dark humor here and there, there's an advantage to choosing to go for more positive comebacks instead of negative ones. "Often the best retorts are comebacks that are witty, take the higher moral ground, are appropriate and most importantly, positive," Rhea writes on BBC Worklife.

Choosing positive comebacks over negative ones is especially important in a work setting which can affect the atmosphere and how employees feel about their jobs. "Positive comments are a far better tool for keeping projects on track while showing your love of linguistic acrobatics. Others will find the humor in them and you may see negative interactions quickly cease," Rhea explains.

#33

Totally True

Totally True

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Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also show me cain and abel's marriage certificates to their sisters

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#35

Now That Is Some Comeback!

Now That Is Some Comeback!

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Lauren Caswell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's actually a cute way to turn a self depreciating put down type of thing into a sweet potential date or friend :)

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#39

Found On Fb... Personally I Found The Response To Be Quite A Zinger

Found On Fb... Personally I Found The Response To Be Quite A Zinger

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#41

Colorado Didn't Send Their Best Or Brightest

Colorado Didn't Send Their Best Or Brightest

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#44

I Would Prefer "Beeeeees Run Run"

I Would Prefer "Beeeeees Run Run"

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#45

Fascists Calling Others Fascists

Fascists Calling Others Fascists

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Grumble O'Pug
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And a slew of chumpanzee twits who grew up on legitimate press suddenly believe in a fraudster like trump. Insane

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#46

Savage Comeback

Savage Comeback

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will add another, largely denies women’s rights for example domestic violence, sexual assault etc.

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#47

I Am More Better Than Everyone

I Am More Better Than Everyone

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#48

Kaepernick Has Entered The Chat

Kaepernick Has Entered The Chat

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Sum Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The amounts of cults in the US is scary... how else would explain the republican party

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#50

Vaccinated Politician Tries To Call Out Elitism

Vaccinated Politician Tries To Call Out Elitism

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Note: this post originally had 95 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.