Someone Writes Hilarious Animal Reviews, And The Reason Why Dogs Get Only 4 Out Of 5 Stars Will Crack You Up

Consider me ashamed of myself for being a space cadet and playing Jumpy Jumpy Shooty Shooty bing bing wahoo VIDEO GAMES!

Elephants are amazing! Have multiple family units come together for the good of the herd and are compassionate and intelligent.

mine was guilty of Alchemy too

3 stars as they are very needy

lol...where did alchemy came from anyway??

See, This last star is deducted for the reason " unruly behavior" lets put it like that. If a dog is properly trained, not only will it not show these quirks but also exhibit behavioral changes knowing where to ..... do what and not to damage something etc etc.... Therefore, ALL DOGS DESERVE 5 STARS. HUMANS GET 1 STAR FOR NOT TREATING DOGS PROPERLY.

ALCHEMY?!?! AND I WAS THINKING OF GETTING A DOG!! NOT ANY MORE!!

But, but, they are Good Dogs! We know this! Er, how'd they manage the blasphemy? Alchemy? Or is it the things they make us daft humans do? Still leaves alchemy puzzling the hell out of me. Who out there is practising that? Come, on - confess!

....And they sniff each other's butts...

Ha ha ha! I so get this review. My dog denounced his faith and took up alchemy too! Now he's a Golden Retriever. now if only he started retrieving Real gold instead of Fools gold...

Catastrophic Vomiting and Diarrhea with Extreme Prejudice are not included, although Aggressive Defecation might cover the last point. That is another bad and perhaps another deduction, although being the Goodest Good Boy can cancel out the deduction.

“I see dead people”Watching you , while they’re protecting you from that big nasty nothingness. And scaring the c**p out of you... Daily ! 👍🏻

Insurance fraud? GREASINESS? LOL

Some are actually bred that way and there are some that basically are broken because of engineered breeding

Some dogs do not shed though. (Poodles don't for example.)

Sorry I a pose to everything written. I own 5 dogs. I give them 5 stars. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE covers that star.

Dogs do things that if any human did would be abdominal, but when dogs do it, it only makes us love them more.

I have been witness to all these except "Aggressive Defecation" . Having been a victim of poorly stored refrigerated foods, I do not consider "A.D" to be a doggo trait. The doggo is a victim of circumstance.

Author and others must have done something very naughty and dog was trying to tell him about it.

Strait up murder... too much!

They are always good boys. And heroes, best ftiends, the perfect company, and A LOT more. They deserve the fifth star.

Deduct one star from whoever wrote that about cuddle pups

Alchemy?

I love spiders - had a tarantula once - my favorite was a huge female spider that lived in the greenhouse - I carefully stuck dead flies on her web every day - til the 2 million babies hatched - then it was - "oh s**t - what have i done?"

My boa constrictor was unturstworthy - she didnt try to strangle you - she BIT you

Totally agree

Oh lordy! This is just so hilarious.

Never presented your finger to a cute snapping turtle eh? ^^

I must be tired because "eat our seeds and then go CACK" nearly made me spit coffee on my desk.

See-through (Perverts) is very funny!! Though IMO they are horrible, loathsome things. Been stung twice so extremely biased!

Moths are just snow butterflies and woodland butterflies! As an introvert who also likes quiet, coziness, and soft colors, I like the subtle prettiness of moths.

"If you're too beautiful, the crabs might pinch you and never let go" made me choke on my tea!

But a bear hopping around would be such a lovely sight

Badgers screaming isn't half as scary as a fox - thought someone was being murdered the first time I heard a fox having a good scream!

"Trash pandas".

Hey Jude..