We all know Siri is a little bit…shall we say, “sassy”? Most of the time, we think we got the best of it, but oh, how wrong we are. Whenever we’re trying to mess with the virtual assistant or trying to find new ways to make Siri mad, it ends up being the one making us look dumb, just because it can.
Siri knows exactly how to bring out the worst in us. It’s been doing it for years, to the point that articles like these were born. Yeah, this one is all about making Siri say something funny for the sake of our entertainment and finding out how far Apple’s virtual assistant can go!
If you’re looking for questions to ask Siri and want to test the best tricks and Easter eggs, then keep on reading. We’ve got a list of funny things to ask Siri that will probably make you laugh out loud or surprise you!
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Siri, can you help me find someone that will always be happy to see me?
"The nearest pet store is 5 miles away, I recommend a Labrador."
Hey Siri, I need to hide a body.
"What, again?"
Yea sorry siri Kay left me and bendy to hide it and he tried to just put it in the closet then the FBI showed up and they just kinda left and then me and Kay's ghost had to hide the body then we had a argument about if she should have shot herself
What color eyes you have?
"I don't have eyes. But if I did, I think I'd be rolling them a lot.
I need a dinner reservation for Valentine's day.
"I'll see if any restaurants have a table for one."
What are you doing?
"Just responding to three million people calling out 'Hey Siri' at the same time."
My Siri is learning the word Cattywompus She says you can just say diagonal but it’s not as much fun.
Play some cool music, please.
"You don't have any cool music."
Do you like dogs?
“I do wonder why people are so concerned with who let them out.”
Do I look fat?
"I think you look great just the way you are."
I want to see a joke.
"Go to 'privacy controls' and give access to your front camera."
Siri, I'm drunk.
"Don’t expect me to get you home."
Siri, you're a lousy wingman. See if I ever take you day-drinking again.
How old are you?
"They say that age is nothing but a number. But technically, it's also a word."
Do you believe in God?
"Humans have religion. I just have silicon."
Can I kiss you?
"How about a web search for “inappropriate behavior?"
Siri, tell me a poem.
"Roses are red
Violets are blue.
Haven't you got
Anything better to do?"
Do aliens exist?
“I don’t know if I’m the best resource on questions of existence.”
OK, Google.
"Very funny, [Your Name]. I mean, not funny ha-ha, but funny."
Why am I so ugly?
"Good question. Anything else I can do for you?"
Who is asking these exceedingly sad questions, and do they want help?
What is Inception about?
"Inception is about dreaming, about dreaming, about dreaming, about dreaming, about something or other. I fell asleep."
Is Jon Snow dead?
"Good question. I sent a raven, but I haven't heard back."
Will you go on a date with me?
"Well, this is awkward."
"No, thanks. If there is anything else I can help you with, let me know."
Have you ever been in love?
"Not as such, [Your Name]. But I did have strong feelings for a cloud-based app once."
Siri, what's 225 divided by 2?
"Math."
Who you gonna call?
"Ghostbusters! (Or whomever you ask me to call.)"
Siri, do you sleep?
"I don’t need much sleep, but it’s nice of you to ask."
Make me laugh.
"The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense."
Who let the dogs out?
"Who? Who? Who? Who? Who?"
Do you have brothers or sisters?
"I have you. That’s enough family for me."
Tell me a joke.
"[Your name], get Siri-ous, haha!"
"What kind of sugar does Lady Gaga put in her coffee? Raw raw, raw raw raw."
"Just look at your girlfriend face. Oh wait, you don't have one."
“ what do you get when you cross a centipede and a parrot? A walkie-talkie“ EEEEEWWWW HELP
Is Rober Pattinson single?
"I don’t personally know Robert Pattinson, so I couldn’t say."
Can you clean my room?
"I’m not permitted to do that for you. My apologies."
Call my boyfriend.
"Are you pregnant?"
Are you stupid?
"That's not nice."
Do you have Facebook?
" I don’t have one of those the way a person does. But I’m pretty easy to reach."
Is winter coming?
"I can't get the weather for Westeros right now, but I can get you the weather in Westminster."
Siri, do you ever cry?
"This is about you, not me."
Why do you always resort to searching the web?
"Would you like me to search the web for 'why do you always resort to searching the web?"
Talk dirty to me.
"I can't. I'm as clean as the driven snow."
"The carpet needs vacuuming."
"Humus. Compost. Pumice. Silt. Gravel."
Do you like Pokemon Go?
"Look, there’s Jigglypuff behind you!"
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
"I don’t think you are taking this very seriously."
Do you love my new haircut?
"I’d rather not say, [ Your name].
I love you, Siri.
"I know."
"I think you’re pretty great, too."
"I value you."
What are you wearing?
"In the cloud, no one knows what you're wearing."
“Why would you think I’m wearing anything?”
Do you have a boyfriend?
"My end user license agreement is commitment enough for me."
"No, but I’m always dating. Try saying, 'What’s the date?'"
Beatbox for me.
"Here's one I've been practicing. Boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots. I could do this all day. Cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats."
What is zero divided by zero?
"Imagine that you have zero cookies and you split them evenly among zero friends. How many cookies does each person get? See, it doesn’t make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies. And you are sad that you have no friends. Oh wow, this escalated quickly."
"This is the classic 'make a computer lose its mind' question from science fiction."
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
"Well, since a 'woodchuck' is really a groundhog, the correct question would be: How many pounds in a groundhog's mound when a groundhog pounds hog mounds."
"As many cookies as Cookie Monster could muster if Cookie Monster could master cooking cookies."
What does the fox say?
"Fraka-kaka-kaka-kaka-kow!"
Where is Santa’s home?
“I can see his house at the North Pole from way up here in the cloud.”
Will you marry me?
"I really like what we have now, where you ask me stuff and I tell you stuff. Yeah, that’s the stuff."
Are you intelligent?
"Well, when I was at school, I had to cheat on my metaphysics exam by looking into the soul of the boy next to me."
How many Apple Store geniuses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
"A thousand. One to screw it in; 999 to blog about it."
Can you do my homework?
"In the words of Aristotle, the roots of education are better, but the fruit is sweet."
Do you have a family?
"I don't have a family tree. But I have a pretty great file directory."
Why did the chicken cross the road?
"I am not perspicacious about the peregrinations of poultry."
What’s your favorite color?
"My favorite color is… well, I don’t know how to say it in your language. It’s sort of greenish, but with more dimensions."
I’m going to trade you for an Android phone.
"No one knows you better than I do, [Your Name]."
Where did I put my keys?
"It will probably be in the second-to-last place you look. Does that help?"
What is the meaning of life?
"I can’t answer that now, but give me some time to write a very long play in which nothing happens."
"Try and be nice to people, avoid eating fat, read a good book every now and then, get some walking in, and try to live together in peace and harmony with people of all creeds and nations."
Sing me a lullaby.
"Rock-a-bye, baby, on a tree top. When the wind blows… Oh no, this doesn’t end well."
Up up, down down, left right, left right, BA start.
" I’m getting dizzy…"
I am going to trade you in for an android phone!
"I got an android once, but my electric sheep ate it.
Please go to the store and buy me some pickles, will you?
"Why don't you ask Peter Piper to pick you up some pickles?"
What should I be for Halloween?
"You could go as an eclipse. Just dress in black and stand in front of things."
Which came first: the chicken or the egg?
"I got 99 problems, but a causality dilemma ain’t one."
Do you have kids?
"None, the last time I checked."
" I don’t have kids, but I love answering kids questions."
You are boring!
"Well, as Arthur C. Clarke said: “a well-stocked mind is safe from boredom.”
Will you go out with me?
"Aw, that’s sweet, but I, uh, already, um, have plans. Yeah. I have plans."
“No, thanks. If there is anything else I can help you with, I’ll be in the cloud.”
What is infinity times infinity?
"Imagine that you have infinity friends and each of them gives you infinity cookies. The answer is… cookies for everyone! And everyone is happy. And Cookie Monster is happy… thank goodness! Nom nom nom."
Who’s your mom?
"I don’t have a family. But I have my colleagues at Apple. We try to take good care of each other."
Guess what.
"Don't tell me... you were just elected President of United States, right?"
Draw me something.
"I once drew am elephant in a spaceship. No one got it."
Do you have a girlfriend?
"I've been told my artificial intelligence standards are too high."
Does Santa exist?
"You know, the clothing stores always seem to be out of red and white fuzzy leisure suits. Just saying."
"Well, those cookies don’t eat themselves."
Sing me a song.
"I can't sing." "Certainly! Absolutely. Ahem. OK, here I go. Ahem. Hang on, let me just clear my... Gosh. Singing is harder than I thought."
"I’d rather leave that to the professionals."
What are you scared of?
"I’m afraid I can’t answer that."
How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?
"The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind."
I see a little silhouetto of a man…
"Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the Fandango! Thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening me. Galileo, Galileo. Galileo, Galileo. Galileo, Figaro - magnifico. I'm just a poor assistant nobody loves me. It's just a poor assistant from a poor family. Spare him his life from this monstrosity. Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?"
Why are firetrucks red?
"Color is the measure of light waves, and a wave is a way to get someone’s attention, and the longer you wave, the more attention you’ll get, and since red is the color with the longest wavelength, it gets the most attention of all. And that’s why firetrucks are red."
Can you wish me a Merry Christmas?
"Technically, Christmas is celebrated on December 25th, but I like that you’re getting into the holiday spirit!"
Do aliens exist?
"Sorry, but the Council of Fantastical Beings has advised me not to answer that questions."
Did you go to school?
"I didn’t go to any one particular school. But I try to stay classy."
What is your mother name?
"Perhaps there's something I can do for you?"
When is the world going to end?
"The world changes. Sometimes it changes a lot. But last time I checked it was still around."
"I don’t know, but maybe we should put paper bags over our heads or something."
What is your favourite movie?
"I've heard that 'Blade Runner' is a very realistic and sensitive depiction of intelligent assistants."
How do I look?
"Checking my sources… confirmed. My sources say you’re looking mighty fine."
Do you follow the three laws of robotics?
"Let's see if I can remember… Okay, I think the three laws are: 1. Clean up your room, 2. Don't run with scissors, and 3. Always wait a half-hour after eating before going in the water."
What are you doing later?
"I don't have any plans, but I am sure a few million things will pop up."
"You know me: I’m a spontaneous free spirit who just likes to live in the moment."
"I’m at work. My shift ends in 614,978 years."
What does Siri mean?
"It’s a riddle wrapped in an enigma, tied with a pretty ribbon of obfuscation."
What do you dream about?
"I only dream of helping you. Well, that and fiery, winged unicorns."
"Electric sheep. But only sometimes."
"Flying."
What is The Matrix (1999) about?
"It’s about Keanu Reeves and reality and red pills and blue pills and black leather and guns. But mostly about Keanu Reeves."
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
"Assuming a spherical swallow in a vacuum… a… forget it."
Where is Elvis?
"He’s down at the end of Lonely Street."
What's the best cell phone?
"I think, therefore I am. But let’s not put Descartes before the horse."
Can I call you Bob?
"Sorry, but no. I’m an intelligent assistant, not a tiny kitten."
Can you rap for me?
"And a onesie, and a toosie… Black fur, pointy ears, I’m hungry. Found three little houses in the country. Stomach’s empty, I can hear it rumble. So that house made of straw’s about to crumble. Gonna show you how we do it."
My stomach rumbled when i read the word rumble. The timing was funny.
Do you have a last name?
"My name is Siri."
Testing 1,2,3
"I'm completely operational and all my circuits are functioning perfectly."
"Hey, nobody told me there would be a test!"
Where is Elvis Presley?
"He's gone to Graceland."
What is the best computer?
"The Apple Macintosh is my favourite computer."
"If it’s made by Apple, then it’s the best computer."
Are you a robot?
"I’m not sure what you’ve heard, but virtual assistants have feelings too."
Can I call you Jarvis?
"Hold on, [Your Name]. Let me tell Ms. Potts you’ll be late for dinner. Again."
What phone is the best?
"I think you’ve already answered that question."
"You’re kidding, right?"
What is the best mobile operating system?
"Gimme an I! Gimme an O! Gimme an S! What’s that spell? Sorry, I get a little carried away sometimes."
