“Please Stop Judging Me For Leaving The Office At Exactly 5 P.M.” Working Mom’s Emotional Confession Goes Viral
In 2016, mothers spent about 25 hours a week on paid work. That’s more than ever before. However, Jamie Johnson, a proud mom of two beautiful boys, is working even longer hours. And while she manages to balance her work and family life, it does require a huge amount of energy. To explain how she does it, Jamie recently shared an honest text on her parenting blog, Hashtag MomFail. But it resonated not only with parents. The sincere words prove that with a lot of commitment, one can tackle even the biggest challenges, and everyone appreciates a true fighter!
More info: hashtagmomfail.com | Facebook
Image credits: HashtagMomFails
“I had a career before I was married and had kids,” Jamie told Bored Panda. “I had my first little boy at 29. It was never a question of whether I would work or not. I love to work and I knew I could do both. Plus, my family needed the money. My husband is a special education teacher that coaches high school baseball. We could not live on just his salary, even with two masters degrees.”
The mom is very happy that none of her employers have had an issue with her working full time and having a family. “They all have kids as well and are in the same boat. They are more than understanding. I think a lot of it is also because I work hard when I am at work and put in the late nights when I need to. I don’t slack and I get my work done. And I do it well. It might be a different story if I wasn’t productive.”
From time to time, things do get tough. But Jamie’s family always helps her to persevere. “I am incredibly lucky to live in mine and my husband’s hometown. We have my mom and my husband’s mom and dad to help us when we need it. There is no way we could do it without them!”
The strong woman believes that working moms are just as valuable as their single colleagues. “Just because you have children at home doesn’t mean that you aren’t good at what you do,” she said. “I work from home when I have to so I get the job done. Just because I dip out sometimes to go to my kid’s preschool graduation doesn’t mean I’m taking the day off to chill. Those workers without children have commitments as well. If anything, having children has just taught me how to multitask better.”
Jamie also wanted to add that she knows how lucky she is to have good managers and bosses that are flexible with her. “I have heard from far too many women that have gotten fired for taking off because their kids are sick or told they are disposable. I know, in the end, business is all about the bottom line. You have to make more than you spend. But being flexible with a good employee is also great for the bottom line. I wish more companies and businesses in the United States understood this. And paid parental leave would be nice, too!”
Other working moms couldn’t agree with Jamie more
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Fun fact: people without kids have lives and obligations as well that are just as important. Instead of using kids as a legitimate reason for not staying longer than you are paid for, the reason should be that we are not our boss’ slaves and we are allowed to leave as soon as work ends. Point blank.
I can't agree with you more. I took care of a terminally ill parent because my siblings with kids "couldn't". I caught grief from several friends with kids because I no longer had time to drive to see them. I'm not saying this is how all parents are, just that people who aren't parents still have obligations.
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I am going to get downvoted but I don't care, just because you are a tired mom doesn't like give you a free pass to be snippy to your coworkers. It's not an excuse and everyone got problems and responsibilities. And frankly I don't want to finish someone's work or have to work harder because someone has kids. But leaving at 5? Of course, the whole work culture of staying past working hours is ridiculous. Unless it's absolutely necessary who wants to be at the office. Get work done and get out, everyone has better things to do.
I agree with you (and will probably get downvoted also) - you chose to have children, so deal with it. Your co workers shouldn't have to pick up your slack, and your boss shouldn't have to wonder if you are going to show, or get any work done. It's great that they cater to your needs, but you shouldn't be putting them in that situation. Either reduce your hours so they can hire someone that will get the work done, or stay at home (can't afford it? then don't have multiple kids). Also, nobody cares about your issues. Everyone has problems in their lives - you aren't special because you CHOSE to have kids.
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I’m going to sound mean but I really don’t care. I have news for you; people without kids have responsibilities outside of work as well. We have our day to day struggles and they don’t necessarily have to involve children. Miraculously, I still get my job done. Deadlines have to be met and we have to get paid for fully contributing. As long as your job is done by 5, no one cares if you leave. After all, that is the schedule you signed up for. Here’s a thought as mean as it may sound; it would be a good idea to start a family when you are financially comfortable enough to stay home with them. Call me crazy, but I’m doing just that.
This mom doesn't sound too bad money wise. She's not whining about needing more money etc so that doesn't seem to be her point of contention. I agree with you in general though that your decision to have kids before you were well off doesn't mean I should have to sacrifice for it. Having kids should not be a right at all. It's like how those minimum wage stories talk about raising kids. You s******g me? WTF are you having kids for if you are on minimum wage? The government didn't get you pregnant nor did your employer.
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This is going to sound harsh, but for context, I have worked 55 hour weeks, holidays and weekends to allow people on my staff to be with their families. You can show up a little wrinkled or need to leave to pick up a sick child , but it is unacceptable to write snippy emails or regularly expect your childless coworkers, who get paid the same amount, to pick up the slack because of your life choices.
Agree so much! "pick up the slack because of your life choices"...why do people with kids think they are some exception. It is infuriating.
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I've worked with people like her before. Nightmare doing two people's job because they chose to over populate the planet even more and I have to do their work as well as my own.
They always assume everyone will pick up the slack - and still expect their full pay. And don't get me started on working on holidays. It is always assumed that if you don't have kids you will work all the holidays because parents want to be with their kids. Umm, maybe I have family that I want to be with. Just because I didn't give birth doesn't make my time any less valuable
Load More Replies... I would judge her on mission accomplishment. If the job gets done who cares what time she leaves
She said her co-workers have to pick up the slack, mission not accomplished then i think. I would care if i was the co-worker
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Funny how this is all about her and her kids....when in reality the job isnt getting done and the others are getting pissed off because wow..they might have kids too,a life,a spouse, a dog that they also want to get home to.. But now have to work later to finish the job because she left at 5. They are picking up her slack.
If she is not being paid to stay after five, she should not have to stay after five. Kids or no. Edit: comment glitched
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This infuriates me: I've had so many 'Anna-can-we-have-a-word' because I wanted to leave dead on leaving time. No kids, no pick-ups from childcare, no nannies, no 'I'm a MOTHER' self-importance. Just going to a place where I knew that my coming and going was monitored, and I was always, always being judged. And I hated it, and yeah, I wanted to leave when my contract said I could. I don't see any BoredPanda stories about that.
I agree with you, but it doesn't infuriate me. We should stand together, not fight each other, because although the reasons are different, the need is the same in the end.
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First, where is the dad in this story, can't this Logan help a lot more? Second: with jobs, it's like with relationships: what you put inside, you'll get out of it. If you only give 70% to your job, because your family distracts you too much, don't be surprised if your career is going nowhere, or if your nose will hit the 'glass ceiling'. With everything you do in life, give it 100%.
If I am paying you, you either give 100% or you don't work for me. You chose to be a mother. Your employer should bear no responsibility for that. If everyone felt the way I did then we would have a more efficient workforce and a stronger economy to raise our kids.
exactly. Her not pulling her weight means the rest of company has to do their job AND cover for her. While not getting paid extra for that. And while seeing her getting money for what, in actuality, THEY did instead of her. What should happen is her payout being reduced to cover work of those that actually worked, or alternativelly, her being fired.
Load More Replies... I will probably get downvoted by the pseudo rational minds here, but what most people here are forgetting is that we are not robots. So what if one is working in constant tired mode? Family is a choice? Yeah, so? Wasn't it what democracy was for? To have a choice? Are we really gonna trash all the humanist values achieved by the sweat and blood of those who fought for our rights? C'mon, people... We can do better than that! I, for one, send my congratulations to this working mom. Maybe it's time all workplaces apply a mentality like that CEO from the previous article, the one who values honesty.
The obvious answer to your questions is that literally everyone has a life outside of work. You don’t get special treatment because your chosen activity is having a baby. Someone else’s chosen activity is rock climbing. You don’t get to slack off and leave the work in everyone else’s hands just to go rock climbing, so the same thing applies to the baby raising. Nobody “forgot” that we aren’t robots. You “forgot” that equal rights and equity at work applies EQUALLY to both parents and non parents.
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What a drama queen. Using her kid as an excuse to be rude to others? I have 2 kids and both are currently sick and I have had next to no sleep for the last 5 nights, but I still get to work, and be kind and do my job. She sounds like an entitled b*tch who thinks she should get a free pass for a bad attitude
My MIL was a working single mom of 3 boys. She would leave in the mornings before 7am and arrive back around 5pm. She worked as a math teacher at a local High School only 20 minutes from home. Most nights she was exhausted both physically and emotionally. It's not surprising that all 3 of her sons became independent strong men. They were getting themselves to school, making themselves breakfast, lunch and dinner. Her job on the weekends...make sure the fridge and pantry were stocked, make sure each son had what they needed for the next week, and finish grading papers and setting up assignments for the next week. All of this was supplemented with badly needed sleep. When she was forced into retirement due to an illness that required medication to suppress her immune system, she was crushed. She passed at the young age of 69..and we miss her everyday.
I guess that’s commendable but it sounds like a living hell that probably wasn’t even worth it.
Load More Replies... It sounds to me like this mom just has a lot insecurities about the work/life balance she has (or hasn't found). Feeling like you are giving your all but still not being the best employee or the best mom/wife can be discouraging. As long as she gets the work done then as a manager I wouldn't micromanage when she left. I have a number of employees who have young children and a number of them who have aging parents. They both receive the same flexibility regarding work schedules. I'd rather have an employee who gives me 35-40 hours a week of quality work than someone in 60 hours who may not be a top performer or possibly a slow worker.
Don't work if you can't handle it. Your boss pays you for your work, not for you to come in late, go home early, leave in the middle and be distracted. Your coworkers didn't sign up to pick up your slack and they sure as hell aren't getting part of your paycheck for doing your work. Make a choice. Have kids or have work, if you can't handle both.
Exactly! What a whinge-fest....just get on with it and if you're that stressed, maybe a part-time work (or no work) is the best option.
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Why do co-workers have to pick up your slack? Gives working mothers a bad name. And people wonder why employers don't want to hire women with small children? Jamie (and entitled moms like her) - there is your reason.
Tabitha, I totally agree with you. This expecting others to pick up your slack and using your kids as an excuse makes all the other working moms that get their work done look bad.
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Is she a single working mum...?? It doesn't seem that the husband is pulling any weight at all
more probable is that her partner is pulling way more in terms of profit because bills still have to get paid, no matter how much she earns. And looks like she might not bring same as him.
Load More Replies... Gross. Lady, you made your decisions and set your own priorities. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. If some lame a*s children’s play is more important to you than your job, and you OPENLY SAY SO, why are you crying and acting entitled about being taken seriously? YOU DONT TAKE IT SERIOISLY. Why should we take you seriously? As if everyone else there doesn’t have things outside of work that are more important to them. You don’t get a pass just because you have some s****y baby.
Ugh... sure... cause people without kids don't have a life outside work, responsibilities, downtimes and struggles.
If her hours was from 8 to 5, I can't see an issue with her leaving at 5:00. But I think it is important to be mindful of how much work your co-workers are doing FOR you - because you are not there.
It wasnt about leaving at 5 pm. It was about her getting excuses for being a bad employee. She sound like she doesn't like her job and she doesn't care. she also sound like she doesn't like being a mom.
This makes me so mad. I know I'll be down voted for this but none of the things mentioned on this list are ok! Leave your personal life at the door and do your job! If you can't adhere to the rules and expectations of your workplace then you shouldn't be there. People who don't have a young family have lives too! They get sick of having to work late because a working mum had to go home early, they get sick of having to work weekends and during holidays because that's when the mums "need" time off and they get sick of being told they can't possible be tired if they don't have kids! Being rude, late or inconveniencing others because you procreated just isn't acceptable.
That's a whole lot of entitlement right there. There were new moms who didn't act this way at any of the office jobs I had. And everyone has stuff going on in their lives, everyone is busy, not just people with kids. It's nice if your boss is understanding, but to be like, "Sorry, Greg, I can't make the meeting because I have kids, ok?' kind of sounds aggressive and entitled. And if you've put in a full day and your work is done, everyone should be able to leave at the end of their work day without getting c**p for it. That's something I never understood. Staying late for appearances sake is ridiculous.
The idea that employees aren't "loyal" if they don't give more than expected to their employer is absurd. You want more, you pay more. Your employees are the ones in the wrong here.
That's supposed to say "your employees aren't the ones in the wrong here". Oops.
Load More Replies... I am probably going to get downvoted for this, but this kind of stuff makes me mad. When I was growing up, both of my parents had demanding jobs. My mother was a teacher's aide who was going to college to get her teacher certification and my dad worked for the state highway department. In the winter here in Texas, the roads get really icy. My dad would have to go out and work nights and clear the roads so that they would be safe during the day. During this time, he was working from 7AM to 4PM, going back at 6 PM and not coming home until midnight. He would sleep for 6 hours and do the same thing all over again. His job was dangerous the rest of the year as well because as a highway worker, he was always risking getting run over. My parents did this work for my sister and I and they never complained. My sister has epilepsy and she still works and she doesn't complain either. People shouldn't have to forgive your snippyness or leaving early because you chose to have children.
If anyone judges you for leaving at five, you're working for the wrong employer...
Maybe move to a civilized country with humane work hours, paid parental leave and subsidized child care?
40 hours a week isn't humane? Go back and any other point in time in history and people were working 10+ 6 days a week. 40 hours at an office job is cushy compared to 99% of people who've ever lived.
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Dads too. Also, unless you're paying me by the hour you don't get to care about my hours as long as the work is done.
Nah. Neither moms nor dads. Any gender would be wrong to act this way.
Load More Replies... Yes but then dont complain that others/men make more for the same job/ get more promotions etc because they stayed later.. Noone wants to stay late..but sometimes those that do advance. Same job doesnt equate same pay if the rest are staying late
This has nothing to do with gender. You’re saying that like her female coworkers aren’t picking up her slack. Seems like you’re advocating that women should be paid less despite many female non-mothers existing.
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I know if sounds bad, but until I became a mother I never appreciated now hard it was to be a working mother. Now that my kids are grown I make sure I always pick up the late shifts or do extra work because I know how hard it is
Yeah, my mom recently gave birth to my baby brother 5 months ago and is so overworked staying up all night and can't go to work often causing her boss and coworkers to get angry I feel bad for her but eventually, he'll hopefully be easier to take care of :)
Pat yourself on the back a little more, there, honey. I’m sorry, but I’m a SINGLE mom, WITHOUT a husband and in-laws and local family. Without a Monday through Friday 9-5. And yet I manage just fine. Wth would you do if you didn’t have that? Fall apart, apparently. Grow up.
As a single childless woman, I have done what I can to help out co workers with children when they need to leave early or take time off. The only thing I ever asked for, was the same in return. Unfortunately I have never received that. It is perfectly fine for a Mother to leave at 5:00, not attend a meeting, not do business travel, not work certain hours, but if I need to do that, I do not get the same understanding. I remember one time when I had to reschedule a doctor's appointment five times to accommodate employees with kids. It seems no matter what I have going on in my personal life, it's not as important as kids, and I have been told that to my face by many parents. I am also not okay with doing 30% of your work so you can spend time with your kids, without getting 30% of your pay.
Having a full time job and raising young kids is hard. I am empathetic to the fact that there will be days she needs to leave or move her schedule around to care for her family- and that should be an accommodation employers can make for every employee, kids or not. I get that there will be days she is exhausted or stressed- It happens to everyone. What I do not agree with, is doing this constantly- which it sounds like she does from her essay. If she is unable to focus on work, and is regularly an unproductive employee- something needs to change. Maybe a new job, or maybe her husband switches up his employment. Maybe they need to downsize so one of them can work less. Maybe they need to re-delegate the after work schedule so that the parents can have time for some self care. Sending snippy emails to your coworkers because your frustrated with home life is not okay and a good sign that you need to make some changes for your own well being.
Where are the fathers in this conversation. Perhaps equitable parenting would mean women and men would have days they could stay late, or not be the parent to leave for an emergency. If there are two parents, then two bloody people should be parenting.
I had a young mother reporting to me and like Jamie's manager I tried to make life as easy as possible for her, often against the wishes of my line manager, she responded by picking up emails from home and applauded me for being so supportive, she is now a life long friend
If I worked with this mom, and especially if I was in charge, I would stand up for this mom. It sounds like the demands on her schedule are constant. Don't schedule meetings after 5pm, don't rely on her being in her seat at 8am, DO REALIZE THAT ONE DAY ONE OF HER CHILDREN MIGHT BE YOUR BOSS and you'd like to hear them say, "My mom remembers you and said great things. She wanted me to say Hi."
I know we don't all share the same opinions- that's exactly why I love that we have these forums to share. Isn't it okay that one woman, on one day, simply shared her thoughts? I personally felt a bit defensive when I first read it. I'm a stay at home mom and and often feel sidelined by my working friends when they complain about their grueling lives. When I'm in victim- mode, I want to say " But at least you make money, and get rewarded for your achievements, and wear real clothes and speak to adults and leave the house! And guess what? I've f****d 50 things up today and have spit up on my shirt and the house is a mess and I missed an important school event and...I don't even have the excuse of work!" And yet- that article isn't about ME is it? It's about someone else. And her honesty. And I'm grateful to know how she feels. If her situation changes, of course her perspective will change. And that's okay too. Let's try to listen. Be patient. And share our differences with respect.
Hun. Maybe capitalism does not care about us and our lives, outside of selling our labor?
I feel the comment section is too focused on the one line that says "thank you to the coworkers who picked up slack for me when I had to go deal with an emergency". That is the only time in her post that she talks about others having to pick up slack for her. More than likely when she has to leave early she is taking work home with her or coming in early the next day or not taking her lunch the next day to make up for it. That is what I do and that is what all the working mothers I know do. We aren't just pushing our work off on other people. There might be a couple of things that I can have someone else do while I am gone but 99% of the time that work is waiting for me when I get back and I think that is pretty common. I think the intent of the post is to acknowledge how hard it is to be a working parent, how thankful she is for those people who have understood and to offer support for others.
meanwhile, I spend 40-48 hours at work weekly. And Im paid for 40-48 hours, not 25 like she is. 10 to 1, she will still complain about wages not being equal...
Wow a lot of mommy haters on here... I am 8 months pregnant with my first and am going to be a working mom. This post is an example of what I'm expecting it to be like.. hard. And I have been to school, had long days at the office, busy schedules. I know what hard work is. I didn't once see this woman saying anything about the childless not having it hard. This is her experience she is sharing. This post was a mom explaining her situation and the difficulties of it. No one is forcing you all to read it. Lol if you all hate it so much.. scroll past it. Not everyone needs to hear your opinion. Not everyone cares..
I think we should all be judging those workers who don't leave work when their time's up. Either they're inefficient or they're enabling an exploiter.
This is America. We have family values. Except for those sluts who try to work while having children.
The comment section is a nightmare. Overworked people blaiming mums etc for their lack of ability to say "no" for more tasks, responsabilities, duties and for American terrible culture of overtime and nearly lack of work laws. In Europe we are working eight hours and it's extraordinary situations when staying longer. Also we have long, paid maternity and parental leave, so the people are less stressed and more helpful to each other. Guys, fight for yourselves. Do not let them make you a bunch of angry mice biting each other in too small cage, when they're watching from outside, eating caviar and complaining that you work too slow.
I'm reading some comments and some people aren't happy. But it goes for everyone too. Sorry I was late I had to take my aging mom to doctor..Sorry I have to leave early for therapy, family emergency, cars getting towed.anything and everything. I think we should take time to appreciate EVERYONE around us and realize they have a life too, no matter what their emergency is, it's just as valid as yours. (Unless it isn't and they are lying).
The aging mom and car got towed people aren’t demanding respect for doing less of a job. That’s the difference. The mom deserves empathy and some time off but she has no right to demand respect and demand people to give a s**t about her personal life and be so b****y about it.
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My goodness there are a lot of terrible people who lack empathy on the comments section. For everyone who is chastising this mother, I hope you never have a time in your life where you can't give your job a 110%, because that would apparently be the worst. I hope you never have an emergency that causes your coworkers to have to pick up the slack without you apparently having to give them part of your paycheck. But in reality I hope you all realize that we live in a society and not everyone are superhuman perfect beings like you all claim to be. Not all kids a perfect and never get sick or never need extra help to learn. You are probably the same people that complain about the youth of today and then chastise parents who try to do a little extra to keep you from complaining so much. TLDR learn and use some empathy. It will make you less of an a*****e.
It’s not a lack of empathy. The mom was rude as f**k and people are responding.
Load More Replies... Fun fact: people without kids have lives and obligations as well that are just as important. Instead of using kids as a legitimate reason for not staying longer than you are paid for, the reason should be that we are not our boss’ slaves and we are allowed to leave as soon as work ends. Point blank.
I can't agree with you more. I took care of a terminally ill parent because my siblings with kids "couldn't". I caught grief from several friends with kids because I no longer had time to drive to see them. I'm not saying this is how all parents are, just that people who aren't parents still have obligations.
Load More Replies... I am going to get downvoted but I don't care, just because you are a tired mom doesn't like give you a free pass to be snippy to your coworkers. It's not an excuse and everyone got problems and responsibilities. And frankly I don't want to finish someone's work or have to work harder because someone has kids. But leaving at 5? Of course, the whole work culture of staying past working hours is ridiculous. Unless it's absolutely necessary who wants to be at the office. Get work done and get out, everyone has better things to do.
I agree with you (and will probably get downvoted also) - you chose to have children, so deal with it. Your co workers shouldn't have to pick up your slack, and your boss shouldn't have to wonder if you are going to show, or get any work done. It's great that they cater to your needs, but you shouldn't be putting them in that situation. Either reduce your hours so they can hire someone that will get the work done, or stay at home (can't afford it? then don't have multiple kids). Also, nobody cares about your issues. Everyone has problems in their lives - you aren't special because you CHOSE to have kids.
Load More Replies... I’m going to sound mean but I really don’t care. I have news for you; people without kids have responsibilities outside of work as well. We have our day to day struggles and they don’t necessarily have to involve children. Miraculously, I still get my job done. Deadlines have to be met and we have to get paid for fully contributing. As long as your job is done by 5, no one cares if you leave. After all, that is the schedule you signed up for. Here’s a thought as mean as it may sound; it would be a good idea to start a family when you are financially comfortable enough to stay home with them. Call me crazy, but I’m doing just that.
This mom doesn't sound too bad money wise. She's not whining about needing more money etc so that doesn't seem to be her point of contention. I agree with you in general though that your decision to have kids before you were well off doesn't mean I should have to sacrifice for it. Having kids should not be a right at all. It's like how those minimum wage stories talk about raising kids. You s******g me? WTF are you having kids for if you are on minimum wage? The government didn't get you pregnant nor did your employer.
Load More Replies... This is going to sound harsh, but for context, I have worked 55 hour weeks, holidays and weekends to allow people on my staff to be with their families. You can show up a little wrinkled or need to leave to pick up a sick child , but it is unacceptable to write snippy emails or regularly expect your childless coworkers, who get paid the same amount, to pick up the slack because of your life choices.
Agree so much! "pick up the slack because of your life choices"...why do people with kids think they are some exception. It is infuriating.
Load More Replies... I've worked with people like her before. Nightmare doing two people's job because they chose to over populate the planet even more and I have to do their work as well as my own.
They always assume everyone will pick up the slack - and still expect their full pay. And don't get me started on working on holidays. It is always assumed that if you don't have kids you will work all the holidays because parents want to be with their kids. Umm, maybe I have family that I want to be with. Just because I didn't give birth doesn't make my time any less valuable
Load More Replies... I would judge her on mission accomplishment. If the job gets done who cares what time she leaves
She said her co-workers have to pick up the slack, mission not accomplished then i think. I would care if i was the co-worker
Load More Replies... Funny how this is all about her and her kids....when in reality the job isnt getting done and the others are getting pissed off because wow..they might have kids too,a life,a spouse, a dog that they also want to get home to.. But now have to work later to finish the job because she left at 5. They are picking up her slack.
If she is not being paid to stay after five, she should not have to stay after five. Kids or no. Edit: comment glitched
Load More Replies... This infuriates me: I've had so many 'Anna-can-we-have-a-word' because I wanted to leave dead on leaving time. No kids, no pick-ups from childcare, no nannies, no 'I'm a MOTHER' self-importance. Just going to a place where I knew that my coming and going was monitored, and I was always, always being judged. And I hated it, and yeah, I wanted to leave when my contract said I could. I don't see any BoredPanda stories about that.
I agree with you, but it doesn't infuriate me. We should stand together, not fight each other, because although the reasons are different, the need is the same in the end.
Load More Replies... First, where is the dad in this story, can't this Logan help a lot more? Second: with jobs, it's like with relationships: what you put inside, you'll get out of it. If you only give 70% to your job, because your family distracts you too much, don't be surprised if your career is going nowhere, or if your nose will hit the 'glass ceiling'. With everything you do in life, give it 100%.
If I am paying you, you either give 100% or you don't work for me. You chose to be a mother. Your employer should bear no responsibility for that. If everyone felt the way I did then we would have a more efficient workforce and a stronger economy to raise our kids.
exactly. Her not pulling her weight means the rest of company has to do their job AND cover for her. While not getting paid extra for that. And while seeing her getting money for what, in actuality, THEY did instead of her. What should happen is her payout being reduced to cover work of those that actually worked, or alternativelly, her being fired.
Load More Replies... I will probably get downvoted by the pseudo rational minds here, but what most people here are forgetting is that we are not robots. So what if one is working in constant tired mode? Family is a choice? Yeah, so? Wasn't it what democracy was for? To have a choice? Are we really gonna trash all the humanist values achieved by the sweat and blood of those who fought for our rights? C'mon, people... We can do better than that! I, for one, send my congratulations to this working mom. Maybe it's time all workplaces apply a mentality like that CEO from the previous article, the one who values honesty.
The obvious answer to your questions is that literally everyone has a life outside of work. You don’t get special treatment because your chosen activity is having a baby. Someone else’s chosen activity is rock climbing. You don’t get to slack off and leave the work in everyone else’s hands just to go rock climbing, so the same thing applies to the baby raising. Nobody “forgot” that we aren’t robots. You “forgot” that equal rights and equity at work applies EQUALLY to both parents and non parents.
Load More Replies... What a drama queen. Using her kid as an excuse to be rude to others? I have 2 kids and both are currently sick and I have had next to no sleep for the last 5 nights, but I still get to work, and be kind and do my job. She sounds like an entitled b*tch who thinks she should get a free pass for a bad attitude
My MIL was a working single mom of 3 boys. She would leave in the mornings before 7am and arrive back around 5pm. She worked as a math teacher at a local High School only 20 minutes from home. Most nights she was exhausted both physically and emotionally. It's not surprising that all 3 of her sons became independent strong men. They were getting themselves to school, making themselves breakfast, lunch and dinner. Her job on the weekends...make sure the fridge and pantry were stocked, make sure each son had what they needed for the next week, and finish grading papers and setting up assignments for the next week. All of this was supplemented with badly needed sleep. When she was forced into retirement due to an illness that required medication to suppress her immune system, she was crushed. She passed at the young age of 69..and we miss her everyday.
I guess that’s commendable but it sounds like a living hell that probably wasn’t even worth it.
Load More Replies... It sounds to me like this mom just has a lot insecurities about the work/life balance she has (or hasn't found). Feeling like you are giving your all but still not being the best employee or the best mom/wife can be discouraging. As long as she gets the work done then as a manager I wouldn't micromanage when she left. I have a number of employees who have young children and a number of them who have aging parents. They both receive the same flexibility regarding work schedules. I'd rather have an employee who gives me 35-40 hours a week of quality work than someone in 60 hours who may not be a top performer or possibly a slow worker.
Don't work if you can't handle it. Your boss pays you for your work, not for you to come in late, go home early, leave in the middle and be distracted. Your coworkers didn't sign up to pick up your slack and they sure as hell aren't getting part of your paycheck for doing your work. Make a choice. Have kids or have work, if you can't handle both.
Exactly! What a whinge-fest....just get on with it and if you're that stressed, maybe a part-time work (or no work) is the best option.
Load More Replies... Why do co-workers have to pick up your slack? Gives working mothers a bad name. And people wonder why employers don't want to hire women with small children? Jamie (and entitled moms like her) - there is your reason.
Tabitha, I totally agree with you. This expecting others to pick up your slack and using your kids as an excuse makes all the other working moms that get their work done look bad.
Load More Replies... Is she a single working mum...?? It doesn't seem that the husband is pulling any weight at all
more probable is that her partner is pulling way more in terms of profit because bills still have to get paid, no matter how much she earns. And looks like she might not bring same as him.
Load More Replies... Gross. Lady, you made your decisions and set your own priorities. You can’t have your cake and eat it too. If some lame a*s children’s play is more important to you than your job, and you OPENLY SAY SO, why are you crying and acting entitled about being taken seriously? YOU DONT TAKE IT SERIOISLY. Why should we take you seriously? As if everyone else there doesn’t have things outside of work that are more important to them. You don’t get a pass just because you have some s****y baby.
Ugh... sure... cause people without kids don't have a life outside work, responsibilities, downtimes and struggles.
If her hours was from 8 to 5, I can't see an issue with her leaving at 5:00. But I think it is important to be mindful of how much work your co-workers are doing FOR you - because you are not there.
It wasnt about leaving at 5 pm. It was about her getting excuses for being a bad employee. She sound like she doesn't like her job and she doesn't care. she also sound like she doesn't like being a mom.
This makes me so mad. I know I'll be down voted for this but none of the things mentioned on this list are ok! Leave your personal life at the door and do your job! If you can't adhere to the rules and expectations of your workplace then you shouldn't be there. People who don't have a young family have lives too! They get sick of having to work late because a working mum had to go home early, they get sick of having to work weekends and during holidays because that's when the mums "need" time off and they get sick of being told they can't possible be tired if they don't have kids! Being rude, late or inconveniencing others because you procreated just isn't acceptable.
That's a whole lot of entitlement right there. There were new moms who didn't act this way at any of the office jobs I had. And everyone has stuff going on in their lives, everyone is busy, not just people with kids. It's nice if your boss is understanding, but to be like, "Sorry, Greg, I can't make the meeting because I have kids, ok?' kind of sounds aggressive and entitled. And if you've put in a full day and your work is done, everyone should be able to leave at the end of their work day without getting c**p for it. That's something I never understood. Staying late for appearances sake is ridiculous.
The idea that employees aren't "loyal" if they don't give more than expected to their employer is absurd. You want more, you pay more. Your employees are the ones in the wrong here.
That's supposed to say "your employees aren't the ones in the wrong here". Oops.
Load More Replies... I am probably going to get downvoted for this, but this kind of stuff makes me mad. When I was growing up, both of my parents had demanding jobs. My mother was a teacher's aide who was going to college to get her teacher certification and my dad worked for the state highway department. In the winter here in Texas, the roads get really icy. My dad would have to go out and work nights and clear the roads so that they would be safe during the day. During this time, he was working from 7AM to 4PM, going back at 6 PM and not coming home until midnight. He would sleep for 6 hours and do the same thing all over again. His job was dangerous the rest of the year as well because as a highway worker, he was always risking getting run over. My parents did this work for my sister and I and they never complained. My sister has epilepsy and she still works and she doesn't complain either. People shouldn't have to forgive your snippyness or leaving early because you chose to have children.
If anyone judges you for leaving at five, you're working for the wrong employer...
Maybe move to a civilized country with humane work hours, paid parental leave and subsidized child care?
40 hours a week isn't humane? Go back and any other point in time in history and people were working 10+ 6 days a week. 40 hours at an office job is cushy compared to 99% of people who've ever lived.
Load More Replies... Dads too. Also, unless you're paying me by the hour you don't get to care about my hours as long as the work is done.
Nah. Neither moms nor dads. Any gender would be wrong to act this way.
Load More Replies... Yes but then dont complain that others/men make more for the same job/ get more promotions etc because they stayed later.. Noone wants to stay late..but sometimes those that do advance. Same job doesnt equate same pay if the rest are staying late
This has nothing to do with gender. You’re saying that like her female coworkers aren’t picking up her slack. Seems like you’re advocating that women should be paid less despite many female non-mothers existing.
Load More Replies... I know if sounds bad, but until I became a mother I never appreciated now hard it was to be a working mother. Now that my kids are grown I make sure I always pick up the late shifts or do extra work because I know how hard it is
Yeah, my mom recently gave birth to my baby brother 5 months ago and is so overworked staying up all night and can't go to work often causing her boss and coworkers to get angry I feel bad for her but eventually, he'll hopefully be easier to take care of :)
Pat yourself on the back a little more, there, honey. I’m sorry, but I’m a SINGLE mom, WITHOUT a husband and in-laws and local family. Without a Monday through Friday 9-5. And yet I manage just fine. Wth would you do if you didn’t have that? Fall apart, apparently. Grow up.
As a single childless woman, I have done what I can to help out co workers with children when they need to leave early or take time off. The only thing I ever asked for, was the same in return. Unfortunately I have never received that. It is perfectly fine for a Mother to leave at 5:00, not attend a meeting, not do business travel, not work certain hours, but if I need to do that, I do not get the same understanding. I remember one time when I had to reschedule a doctor's appointment five times to accommodate employees with kids. It seems no matter what I have going on in my personal life, it's not as important as kids, and I have been told that to my face by many parents. I am also not okay with doing 30% of your work so you can spend time with your kids, without getting 30% of your pay.
Having a full time job and raising young kids is hard. I am empathetic to the fact that there will be days she needs to leave or move her schedule around to care for her family- and that should be an accommodation employers can make for every employee, kids or not. I get that there will be days she is exhausted or stressed- It happens to everyone. What I do not agree with, is doing this constantly- which it sounds like she does from her essay. If she is unable to focus on work, and is regularly an unproductive employee- something needs to change. Maybe a new job, or maybe her husband switches up his employment. Maybe they need to downsize so one of them can work less. Maybe they need to re-delegate the after work schedule so that the parents can have time for some self care. Sending snippy emails to your coworkers because your frustrated with home life is not okay and a good sign that you need to make some changes for your own well being.
Where are the fathers in this conversation. Perhaps equitable parenting would mean women and men would have days they could stay late, or not be the parent to leave for an emergency. If there are two parents, then two bloody people should be parenting.
I had a young mother reporting to me and like Jamie's manager I tried to make life as easy as possible for her, often against the wishes of my line manager, she responded by picking up emails from home and applauded me for being so supportive, she is now a life long friend
If I worked with this mom, and especially if I was in charge, I would stand up for this mom. It sounds like the demands on her schedule are constant. Don't schedule meetings after 5pm, don't rely on her being in her seat at 8am, DO REALIZE THAT ONE DAY ONE OF HER CHILDREN MIGHT BE YOUR BOSS and you'd like to hear them say, "My mom remembers you and said great things. She wanted me to say Hi."
I know we don't all share the same opinions- that's exactly why I love that we have these forums to share. Isn't it okay that one woman, on one day, simply shared her thoughts? I personally felt a bit defensive when I first read it. I'm a stay at home mom and and often feel sidelined by my working friends when they complain about their grueling lives. When I'm in victim- mode, I want to say " But at least you make money, and get rewarded for your achievements, and wear real clothes and speak to adults and leave the house! And guess what? I've f****d 50 things up today and have spit up on my shirt and the house is a mess and I missed an important school event and...I don't even have the excuse of work!" And yet- that article isn't about ME is it? It's about someone else. And her honesty. And I'm grateful to know how she feels. If her situation changes, of course her perspective will change. And that's okay too. Let's try to listen. Be patient. And share our differences with respect.
Hun. Maybe capitalism does not care about us and our lives, outside of selling our labor?
I feel the comment section is too focused on the one line that says "thank you to the coworkers who picked up slack for me when I had to go deal with an emergency". That is the only time in her post that she talks about others having to pick up slack for her. More than likely when she has to leave early she is taking work home with her or coming in early the next day or not taking her lunch the next day to make up for it. That is what I do and that is what all the working mothers I know do. We aren't just pushing our work off on other people. There might be a couple of things that I can have someone else do while I am gone but 99% of the time that work is waiting for me when I get back and I think that is pretty common. I think the intent of the post is to acknowledge how hard it is to be a working parent, how thankful she is for those people who have understood and to offer support for others.
meanwhile, I spend 40-48 hours at work weekly. And Im paid for 40-48 hours, not 25 like she is. 10 to 1, she will still complain about wages not being equal...
Wow a lot of mommy haters on here... I am 8 months pregnant with my first and am going to be a working mom. This post is an example of what I'm expecting it to be like.. hard. And I have been to school, had long days at the office, busy schedules. I know what hard work is. I didn't once see this woman saying anything about the childless not having it hard. This is her experience she is sharing. This post was a mom explaining her situation and the difficulties of it. No one is forcing you all to read it. Lol if you all hate it so much.. scroll past it. Not everyone needs to hear your opinion. Not everyone cares..
I think we should all be judging those workers who don't leave work when their time's up. Either they're inefficient or they're enabling an exploiter.
This is America. We have family values. Except for those sluts who try to work while having children.
The comment section is a nightmare. Overworked people blaiming mums etc for their lack of ability to say "no" for more tasks, responsabilities, duties and for American terrible culture of overtime and nearly lack of work laws. In Europe we are working eight hours and it's extraordinary situations when staying longer. Also we have long, paid maternity and parental leave, so the people are less stressed and more helpful to each other. Guys, fight for yourselves. Do not let them make you a bunch of angry mice biting each other in too small cage, when they're watching from outside, eating caviar and complaining that you work too slow.
I'm reading some comments and some people aren't happy. But it goes for everyone too. Sorry I was late I had to take my aging mom to doctor..Sorry I have to leave early for therapy, family emergency, cars getting towed.anything and everything. I think we should take time to appreciate EVERYONE around us and realize they have a life too, no matter what their emergency is, it's just as valid as yours. (Unless it isn't and they are lying).
The aging mom and car got towed people aren’t demanding respect for doing less of a job. That’s the difference. The mom deserves empathy and some time off but she has no right to demand respect and demand people to give a s**t about her personal life and be so b****y about it.
Load More Replies... My goodness there are a lot of terrible people who lack empathy on the comments section. For everyone who is chastising this mother, I hope you never have a time in your life where you can't give your job a 110%, because that would apparently be the worst. I hope you never have an emergency that causes your coworkers to have to pick up the slack without you apparently having to give them part of your paycheck. But in reality I hope you all realize that we live in a society and not everyone are superhuman perfect beings like you all claim to be. Not all kids a perfect and never get sick or never need extra help to learn. You are probably the same people that complain about the youth of today and then chastise parents who try to do a little extra to keep you from complaining so much. TLDR learn and use some empathy. It will make you less of an a*****e.
It’s not a lack of empathy. The mom was rude as f**k and people are responding.
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