Guy Expects Girl To Wait While He ‘Plays Around’, Can’t Cope With Her Marrying Another Guy 2 Years Later
There is a generally accepted notion that women ‘mature’ faster than men. One widely reported study, dubiously commissioned by Nickelodeon UK (very mature), claimed that men finally grow up aged 43, a full 11 years later than women. It went on to list the top 30 ‘maturity failings’ of men, as experienced by women with things like: “Finding their own farts and burps hilarious; eating fast food at 2:00am and playing videogames,” featuring at the top.
Surely the inability to commit to a relationship should be somewhere on the list too. It’s fair enough if you don’t feel ready to settle down and want to ‘play the field’ for a little while first. But expecting someone to be there waiting for you, when you finally decide that you’re done playing, is just selfish, dumb and asking for trouble.
This viral Twitter thread, told by Rev Rell, is a lesson to all of us tempted to try to put things ‘on hold’ while you screw around.
Image credits: awkward_duck
Image credits: awkward_duck
Image credits: awkward_duck
Image credits: awkward_duck
Image credits: awkward_duck
Image credits: awkward_duck
Image credits: awkward_duck
Image credits: awkward_duck
Image credits: awkward_duck
Image credits: awkward_duck
Image credits: awkward_duck
Image credits: awkward_duck
Image credits: awkward_duck
It’s fair to say that ‘homeboy’ wasn’t getting a lot of sympathy from people’s reactions to the post, which has been retweeted almost 67,000 times. What was it that hit home with so many people? Perhaps most importantly, the story puts relationships our into perspective and reminds us not to take the people we love for granted.
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The satisfaction of seeing somebody so obviously disrespectful and undeserving getting their just desserts also resonated with people, he had to learn the hard way. homeboy was obviously undeserving of love, and his attempt to barge in on her new-found happiness really left a sour taste.
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Others shared their own experiences and stories, homeboy is far from the only guy who has some serious growing up to do. Taking responsibility and making a commitment isn’t always easy, but what is life all about if you are content to simply let opportunity slip through your grasp? It takes maturity to recognize what you have, take the initiative and act upon it.
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Share on FacebookHe still sounds like a jerk. Instead of admitting that he screwed up, he's blaming her for getting over him? He doesn't have it together and he never will.
I agree. She didn't owe him ANYTHING. That will teach him to grow up if anything does. Even if you want to help someone out and you're dating them, you're a gf or bf (more likely a gf) NOT a social worker. And even they won't wait around forever for you to decide whether you want to work on your issues.
Load More Replies...You just can't put a relationship, even worse : a person on HOLD and expect them to wait for you. I was separated from my boyfriend for three years (studying - and yeah, I could have had just fun without responsibilities, feeling like a kid again) but we both made an effort, we both kept our relationship alive and progressed. I was working hard to get the money to pay our home off while also paying my bills and everything- he said later he was impressed so much with me doing everything for OUR future. I just imagine telling him :"Well, since I am away I guess I can do whatever, feel free, work some issues...guess you'll be there when I want to carry on!" He is my husband for over 20 years, I am glad I never was stupid enough to take his love for granted.
Sounds like my ex. We were together for SEVEN YEARS, and he didn’t treat me very well for most of it. I got over him and met someone else within six months of him breaking up with me, because being treated right by every new guy I dated was a big reminder that the ex wasn’t for me. Anyway, I got into a serious relationship and told my ex and he cried like a baby and said he thought I’d be there forever. What?! MEEEE be there forever? It baffles me that he must have really thought so low of me that I’d just wait around for a guy like him. As if.
Some guys have NO clue. I had a bf of three years break things off with me out of the blue. He said he just didn't feel like he was the right guy for me. A few months later, he called me (again, out of the blue) and asked if I would meet him for a drink, because he had something he really needed to talk about. I wasn't interested, but I was really curious, so I met him. He says, "I've dated a lot of women since we broke up. A lot. I mean A Lot. Dozens. And it never worked out with anyone. I finally figured out why. It's because none of them were you. We should get back together." He was dead serious. He really thought I would drop everything and date him again. I wasn't dating anyone else, but I was REALLY enjoying being alone. I told him so and he said, "That's stupid. You just won't admit you're lonely without me." I laughed at him.
Load More Replies...He would forget her if he had met someone else, sad thing is other gorls wait forever for men who don't deserve them
He felt strung along!? It sounds like SHE was the one being strung...dating her for 7 years and then telling her he needed a break, then seeing other women.
It's worse than that. He was seeing other women WHILE he was dating her. She found out and told him he needed to work on himself, then they separated. And then he also dated around while they were apart.
Load More Replies...Narcissists weaken their initially healthy and kind partners, bring them to their knees, and make them think the poor treatment they give is all they will ever deserve. It happened to me, and I struggled to break free from him for 5 YEARS! I made several attempts to date other men during our on-and-off relationship. But in my weakened state, I always went back to him. After I finally broke free, I was victimized one more time by another cheater before I began dating the man who would become my husband. A couple years ago, I thought about my ex's sweet son and foolishly reached out to ask how his son was doing. At first, the conversations were fine. But just as my now-husband predicted, my ex wasted no time in trying to convince me I was unhappy and should return to him. So I cut him off again. I have now been married for almost 2 years. My husband and I own a home together, my legal career is thriving, and we are expecting our first child this July. I am very happy.
I'm glad you got away from men like that. I know how it is. They seem to suck you in without you realizing what's happening.
Load More Replies...He is only ready to work on himself because she has moved on. Too little too late! I wish her all of the happiness in the world and for him, I hope he grows up and treats the next one better.
Remind me my story. My ex boyfriend was in italy for erasmus for a year and we decided to have long distance relationship. Before he went, we were living together for 2years. Before he left we were fighting a nearly split up, but we unfortunelly work it out. During that year I have terrible exams in my medicine school. He was enjoying Rome and never was around for skype etc. Finally, after 10months there and after my failed first try in patology and patophysiology he wrote me, that he want to be with me, but dont want to live together again...I had to search for new roommate and study all summer for repair the exams. I broke up with him, fell in love with my clasmate, who is now my husband. After the break up he than come crawling back and begging me for 2month to come back, it was pitifull. He also need to grow up.
He will be perpetually single and the recipient of more than a few restraining orders. Don't bail this fool out
I don't understand why a woman would agree to be put on hold in the first place. If someone wanted to put me on a shelf, I'd be gone because they don't deserve me.
It's a psychological issue. Some men prey on a woman's insecurities and exploit her emotional needs until she feels lucky to get attention from him. She also starts to believe that no one else would want her; that she's so unworthy, so flawed, so unlovable, she should stay. And, so she stays and waits; mostly because she just doesn't know what else to do. I am ashamed to say that I have fallen victim to that sort of man in the past. Actually, I'm not sorry to say it; I did nothing wrong. He used me for his sick ego trip.
Load More Replies...Well, he didn't hold up his end, did he? He was supposed to wise up, grow up, and step up, and make himself a man worth her taking a second chance on. She's not his mama, it's not her job to raise him, and she's not his therapist to fix him. She already waited seven years of on and off for him to change... and he didn't. And she still left the door open. If he could man up, he might get another chance. She stopped enabling him, and gave him a powerful incentive to straighten himself out, if he ever could. Sounds like he didn't even try.
I have been in that girls shoes so many times. The last time the guy got seriously dangerous. My now husband and I have both has exes use us to no end and after we both communicated all the issues that we had dealt with (other people’s baggage) we knew neither would do that to the other and have been together happily for coming up on 3 years.
My God. Thank you so much. I wish you'd been my soon to be ex's friend, he keeps going down the same road and I keep telling him, there's no going back this time, I took you back once and you f***ed me over, that was it. But I know damn well he still doesn't get it, still thinks the option is open. I wish his male friends had been as honest with him and this woman. Fix it or break it off THEN move on but don't start one thing while another is still going.
You said, "soon to be ex". Don't stay. Please leave him. It sounds like you've already given him chances and he has repeatedly let you down. I am worried for you. You deserve better. Dont let him keep taking advantage of your loving nature. Please break it off with him.
Load More Replies...what a tool! that guy deserved the outcome, if anyone ever did. he was/is a self-absorbed, narcissistic, sorry excuse for a human. i hope she remains happy in her life. i hope this was the wake-up call he needed to get his s**t together, but i doubt it...
Wait...you split up with the aim of reuniting when someone has adapted? Relationships are not requirements engineering, human feeling do not work based on plans. The whole setting is just stupid. Sorry to be so blatant. Besides: never change for anyone for yourself.
I more got the feeling that they could try again after some time, IF they hadn't moved on. I also get the feeling that that "adapted" was much more of a "stop being an a*****e" kinda thing. While "adapting" may be the wrong term in every relationship there will be some compromises, some small some large. The important thing is though that if they really love each other these compromises are almost never actively discussed, they "just happen".
Load More Replies...People break up for a reason. Anyone know of any couple that got together again (and stayed together) after a breakup?
Yep, my parents. However, that doesn't make you wrong - my mother only stayed because of the children.
Load More Replies...Why did this daft, beautiful girl give him 7 years? A month is enough to realise he's a pratt. Chuck him to the wind. Now the idiot will be dogging your marriage looking for some misguided retribution because he's an idiot you didn't cut off with a machete the moment he showed what an idiot he was. I agree everyone should read this, but everyone should also be much more harsh with cutting off these toxic people or they won't learn and nothing with change.
Ha. My ex husband was playing around and we also divorced on the term to get back togetber as he would grow up. Few years forward i miscarried and was pregnant again (6mo) with my long term SO. He still had the guts to tellme he was then ready to reconnect. Even better, he comes by with his newly meet wife and baby and tells me he would prefer to stay with me.. Oh boi, you have wife and son, meanwhile I have a happy marriage and kids and you still believe I would run to you?!?! I must have missed, ur balls being as big as Saturn!
MEN TAKE WOMEN FOR GRANTED. Period. That simple. Then, they only want you back because they look like an idiot (prideful).
boys will be...................boys. Too bad (for him), you needed a man.
"Homeboy" do people still say that? It sounds like a cringy throw back to the 90's.
He still sounds like a jerk. Instead of admitting that he screwed up, he's blaming her for getting over him? He doesn't have it together and he never will.
I agree. She didn't owe him ANYTHING. That will teach him to grow up if anything does. Even if you want to help someone out and you're dating them, you're a gf or bf (more likely a gf) NOT a social worker. And even they won't wait around forever for you to decide whether you want to work on your issues.
Load More Replies...You just can't put a relationship, even worse : a person on HOLD and expect them to wait for you. I was separated from my boyfriend for three years (studying - and yeah, I could have had just fun without responsibilities, feeling like a kid again) but we both made an effort, we both kept our relationship alive and progressed. I was working hard to get the money to pay our home off while also paying my bills and everything- he said later he was impressed so much with me doing everything for OUR future. I just imagine telling him :"Well, since I am away I guess I can do whatever, feel free, work some issues...guess you'll be there when I want to carry on!" He is my husband for over 20 years, I am glad I never was stupid enough to take his love for granted.
Sounds like my ex. We were together for SEVEN YEARS, and he didn’t treat me very well for most of it. I got over him and met someone else within six months of him breaking up with me, because being treated right by every new guy I dated was a big reminder that the ex wasn’t for me. Anyway, I got into a serious relationship and told my ex and he cried like a baby and said he thought I’d be there forever. What?! MEEEE be there forever? It baffles me that he must have really thought so low of me that I’d just wait around for a guy like him. As if.
Some guys have NO clue. I had a bf of three years break things off with me out of the blue. He said he just didn't feel like he was the right guy for me. A few months later, he called me (again, out of the blue) and asked if I would meet him for a drink, because he had something he really needed to talk about. I wasn't interested, but I was really curious, so I met him. He says, "I've dated a lot of women since we broke up. A lot. I mean A Lot. Dozens. And it never worked out with anyone. I finally figured out why. It's because none of them were you. We should get back together." He was dead serious. He really thought I would drop everything and date him again. I wasn't dating anyone else, but I was REALLY enjoying being alone. I told him so and he said, "That's stupid. You just won't admit you're lonely without me." I laughed at him.
Load More Replies...He would forget her if he had met someone else, sad thing is other gorls wait forever for men who don't deserve them
He felt strung along!? It sounds like SHE was the one being strung...dating her for 7 years and then telling her he needed a break, then seeing other women.
It's worse than that. He was seeing other women WHILE he was dating her. She found out and told him he needed to work on himself, then they separated. And then he also dated around while they were apart.
Load More Replies...Narcissists weaken their initially healthy and kind partners, bring them to their knees, and make them think the poor treatment they give is all they will ever deserve. It happened to me, and I struggled to break free from him for 5 YEARS! I made several attempts to date other men during our on-and-off relationship. But in my weakened state, I always went back to him. After I finally broke free, I was victimized one more time by another cheater before I began dating the man who would become my husband. A couple years ago, I thought about my ex's sweet son and foolishly reached out to ask how his son was doing. At first, the conversations were fine. But just as my now-husband predicted, my ex wasted no time in trying to convince me I was unhappy and should return to him. So I cut him off again. I have now been married for almost 2 years. My husband and I own a home together, my legal career is thriving, and we are expecting our first child this July. I am very happy.
I'm glad you got away from men like that. I know how it is. They seem to suck you in without you realizing what's happening.
Load More Replies...He is only ready to work on himself because she has moved on. Too little too late! I wish her all of the happiness in the world and for him, I hope he grows up and treats the next one better.
Remind me my story. My ex boyfriend was in italy for erasmus for a year and we decided to have long distance relationship. Before he went, we were living together for 2years. Before he left we were fighting a nearly split up, but we unfortunelly work it out. During that year I have terrible exams in my medicine school. He was enjoying Rome and never was around for skype etc. Finally, after 10months there and after my failed first try in patology and patophysiology he wrote me, that he want to be with me, but dont want to live together again...I had to search for new roommate and study all summer for repair the exams. I broke up with him, fell in love with my clasmate, who is now my husband. After the break up he than come crawling back and begging me for 2month to come back, it was pitifull. He also need to grow up.
He will be perpetually single and the recipient of more than a few restraining orders. Don't bail this fool out
I don't understand why a woman would agree to be put on hold in the first place. If someone wanted to put me on a shelf, I'd be gone because they don't deserve me.
It's a psychological issue. Some men prey on a woman's insecurities and exploit her emotional needs until she feels lucky to get attention from him. She also starts to believe that no one else would want her; that she's so unworthy, so flawed, so unlovable, she should stay. And, so she stays and waits; mostly because she just doesn't know what else to do. I am ashamed to say that I have fallen victim to that sort of man in the past. Actually, I'm not sorry to say it; I did nothing wrong. He used me for his sick ego trip.
Load More Replies...Well, he didn't hold up his end, did he? He was supposed to wise up, grow up, and step up, and make himself a man worth her taking a second chance on. She's not his mama, it's not her job to raise him, and she's not his therapist to fix him. She already waited seven years of on and off for him to change... and he didn't. And she still left the door open. If he could man up, he might get another chance. She stopped enabling him, and gave him a powerful incentive to straighten himself out, if he ever could. Sounds like he didn't even try.
I have been in that girls shoes so many times. The last time the guy got seriously dangerous. My now husband and I have both has exes use us to no end and after we both communicated all the issues that we had dealt with (other people’s baggage) we knew neither would do that to the other and have been together happily for coming up on 3 years.
My God. Thank you so much. I wish you'd been my soon to be ex's friend, he keeps going down the same road and I keep telling him, there's no going back this time, I took you back once and you f***ed me over, that was it. But I know damn well he still doesn't get it, still thinks the option is open. I wish his male friends had been as honest with him and this woman. Fix it or break it off THEN move on but don't start one thing while another is still going.
You said, "soon to be ex". Don't stay. Please leave him. It sounds like you've already given him chances and he has repeatedly let you down. I am worried for you. You deserve better. Dont let him keep taking advantage of your loving nature. Please break it off with him.
Load More Replies...what a tool! that guy deserved the outcome, if anyone ever did. he was/is a self-absorbed, narcissistic, sorry excuse for a human. i hope she remains happy in her life. i hope this was the wake-up call he needed to get his s**t together, but i doubt it...
Wait...you split up with the aim of reuniting when someone has adapted? Relationships are not requirements engineering, human feeling do not work based on plans. The whole setting is just stupid. Sorry to be so blatant. Besides: never change for anyone for yourself.
I more got the feeling that they could try again after some time, IF they hadn't moved on. I also get the feeling that that "adapted" was much more of a "stop being an a*****e" kinda thing. While "adapting" may be the wrong term in every relationship there will be some compromises, some small some large. The important thing is though that if they really love each other these compromises are almost never actively discussed, they "just happen".
Load More Replies...People break up for a reason. Anyone know of any couple that got together again (and stayed together) after a breakup?
Yep, my parents. However, that doesn't make you wrong - my mother only stayed because of the children.
Load More Replies...Why did this daft, beautiful girl give him 7 years? A month is enough to realise he's a pratt. Chuck him to the wind. Now the idiot will be dogging your marriage looking for some misguided retribution because he's an idiot you didn't cut off with a machete the moment he showed what an idiot he was. I agree everyone should read this, but everyone should also be much more harsh with cutting off these toxic people or they won't learn and nothing with change.
Ha. My ex husband was playing around and we also divorced on the term to get back togetber as he would grow up. Few years forward i miscarried and was pregnant again (6mo) with my long term SO. He still had the guts to tellme he was then ready to reconnect. Even better, he comes by with his newly meet wife and baby and tells me he would prefer to stay with me.. Oh boi, you have wife and son, meanwhile I have a happy marriage and kids and you still believe I would run to you?!?! I must have missed, ur balls being as big as Saturn!
MEN TAKE WOMEN FOR GRANTED. Period. That simple. Then, they only want you back because they look like an idiot (prideful).
boys will be...................boys. Too bad (for him), you needed a man.
"Homeboy" do people still say that? It sounds like a cringy throw back to the 90's.
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