Mom Is Beyond Devastated After Her Sister Fired Her 4-Year-Old From Being A Flower Girl At Her Wedding, Later Learns It Was Because Of Racism
Imagine sheer joy in a child’s eyes after hearing they’ll be a flower girl for their aunt’s wedding. Sadly, for one excited 4-year-old, the dream was over before it could begin.
“I was kinda nervous when she asked me and my daughter (4) to be bridesmaids in February because I knew she was gonna be a massive bridezilla,” wrote the bride’s sister about her initial suspicions in a lengthy post on the AITA subreddit. Over the course of a few months, they “had to practice multiple dances, pay for very expensive dresses and put up with her tantrums,” she added.
At one point during the whole preparation, the bride decided that her little niece was in fact not good enough to be a flower girl and could only attend the ceremony as a guest. In fact, the bride was afraid of the 4-year-old “messing everything up.” As you can imagine, this didn’t end there.
The family conflict escalated and soon the mom of the fired flower girl realized there was a much more nasty reason why the bride canceled her daughter.
Recently a woman has shared a story of how her bride sister invited her daughter of 4 to be a flower girl only to have her fired a few months into the preparation
Image credits: Pexels (not the actual photo)
Wedding planning is not for everyone, we all know that. And while some couples hire professionals, others think they will manage to tackle the workload themselves. Combine the pressure of having a perfect day with stress over tiny things and the personality trait of wanting to control everything, and the chances are you’ll meet a bridezilla.
The term has been popularized by social media and a number of TV shows, is used to refer to particularly difficult brides who basically make the planning hell on earth for their guests, fellow planners, family members, and themselves. “A bridezilla is someone who loses her cool when it comes to wedding planning, usually snapping at friends, family, and suppliers when these people are only trying to help,” Rhiann Janak Gouabeche, the CEO of Lucy Till French Wedding planners, explained.
The last few months of preparation for the sister’s wedding weren’t easy on the author and her little daughter
So imagine how it felt after the author was told that her 4-year-old wasn’t good enough and was “gonna mess things up”
But it seemed like the bride didn’t care about how her flower girl would feel after hearing the news
And it was just heartbreaking for the kid
It turns out, the bride saw this post on the AITA subreddit and got really upset so she showed up at the author’s job
The author has added some revealing updates after her sister’s photographer reached out to her
Shockingly, it turned out, the reason why the 4-year-old was fired from being a flower girl goes deeper than not being good enough
Luckily, the author received support from her parents and other family members
In the end, the author addressed the critics and bullies
Image credits: 0trow
A bridezilla might be your fiancée, sister, best friend or daughter. And this is what makes her behavior particularly hard for family members. The psychopathic ball of nerves looks nothing you remember her, with many times her actions or words changing your relationship for years to come.In extreme situations, you have no option but to stand up for yourself and put an end to it.
If the bride is being rude, unrealistic, too demanding, bullying and even abusive, you have to tell her so and call her out if she goes onto others. No one deserves to be treated poorly, and this is the end of the discussion.
I used to run weddings, I was involved in well over 300 weddings and I’ve seen all sorts of things. What I can tell you is that having a four year old as your flower girl guarantees some great smiles and some very proud grand parents. It’s your day but it’s also a family day, it brings together two families and hopefully it introduces them to each other in the best way possible. If you make it ALL about you then you’ll miss out on loads of opportunities and it’ll be stressful as you can imagine. Lay off the whole princess / prince thing and focus on the beginning of a new family and the love side of it.
Okay, I thought this reaction was overblown until the racism part. That's just nasty.
For me, a wedding is a fun party celebrating the union of two people. The funner the better. When/if I get married I want goofiness and silliness all over the place. And laughter. Lots of laughter :)
Yep, as long as no-one is like, horribly racist and nothing catches fire, anything that goes wrong is either going to be a minor hiccup or a hilarious story a few years down the line.
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I'm a photographer. I got hired to shoot some kid photos. My daughter promised to behave if she could watch. Naturally, she lied. My kid and the client's kids hit it off immediately. For shiggles I took some pics of them together before I had to separate them so the client could have pics of just her kids w/out my kid photobombing them. Client actually asked for the photos of our kids together. In a few weeks my daughter will be turning 6 and they'll be coming over to celebrate. DSC2168Ret...8ce0e2.jpg 
This is beautiful! Looks like two brothers ganging up on the baby bro!!
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Why not have them both? Then they could have supported each other. The bride's attitude and actions were so wrong.
And that's when that little girl learns to be afraid and ashamed.... What a rotten thing to do to a child, any child, let alone family!
She will be fighting issues of believing She is not good enough even for those closest to her. This is her own aunty that did this to her.
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I don't understand why people thought the woman was the asshole even before the racism part. She noted how her sister has hurt her feelings and cutting her own niece out of the wedding party cause she wasn't perfect enough after having her practice for as long as she probably made her realize that her daughter's feelings would not be spared.
If a parent _doesn't_ cry when the outside world does something that hurts their little loved one, they're missing something in their emotional makeup.
You did the right thing!! Cut that bitch right out forever!! Her husband will probably leave her one day! She'll die alone and miserable!!
Seems like those big tacky pretentious weddings always bring the shittiest s**t out of people. It is supposed to be a happy day, when you can celebrate your relationship with your family and friend and have fun, but people choose to be obsessed with some absolutely insignificant s**t and make everyone miserable. The bride's treatment of her niece sounded terrible even without that alleged racist motivation, but if it's not just a hearsay, that's beyond disgusting.
For whatever this is worth, I send great karma to you and yours. I wish for your daughter more than success. I wish for her a path worthy of her sparkle. As for your sister? You make your bed, enjoy laying in it . (People like that tend to not learn the lesson)
Old money and England huh... poor Brita, now sure which old connection they have but damn, that does not fly in Europe.
It doesn't fly in the UK either, there is also plenty of old money in Europe.
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So basically the sister and her ilk were upset that people found out they were racist cretins who thought nothing was wrong with hurting a child's feelings and knew that getting the child's mother back on board would be the only way to get back "in" the family so they could pretend to not be racist cretins. Eff them.
I can't imagine breaking a child's heart this way. My granddaughter is 4. I can imagine her excitement at wearing a beautiful dress and being part of an important event. I'd at least want to, wouldn't do it, punch your sister in the face for crushing a child. I would pray to be able to forgive and confess the anger and hurt in my heart. I think the damage would be irreparable. Forgivable but I don't think I'd want to attach myself to someone so self centered.
If they don't dwell on the bride's behavior the OP's daughter may just forget it. However, the rest of the family has to decide how they'll deal with the groom's family's horrible racism, and the fact that the bride was choosing to marry him knowing that about him and them. It's obvious her family hadn't brought her up that way. She's sold her soul. I hope the OP and family have/had a great time with Mickey Mouse.
NTA. You did right to cut her out of your life. If she wants to be with an abusive a-hole and become an abusive a-hole just like him, don't let the door hit her ass on the way out. Adios! You and your family live your lives and be happy. A lot of us in life will face a barrage of hatred from a never ending parade of stupid - but it shouldn't be from your own family. Deuces.
Yo who was making fun of them for crying because their child was hurting!? Show yourselves... I just wanna talk....
Let's say they did still go to the wedding with the little girl. She's four she'd most likely start crying o being upset when the 8 year old can throw the flowers but not her. She'd be upset when her mum gets to stand with the bride in a really expensive dress but she has to wear something different now and sit with daddy. She would be excluded from a lot it sounds like and will be punished for being a four year old. If people have standards like that then don't have kids or don't invite kids to the wedding. She is protecting her child and standing by her showing that she will not stand for people walking over her even at four years old.
Did anyone else read the same article? She didn’t let the child participate not because she was t perfect. It was because of the racist things his family said about her sister and the baby. His family are the AH
Racial issues aside, I'd like to know how everyone feels about replacing a flower girl with an older child child who'll do better job with the role of flower girl. Because God knows that's how adult life works...
Replacing the toddler is lame, Otter. :( Cute tiny kids grabbing bunches of petals and chucking them around is the highlight of many a wedding!
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A child *reacted* to being rejected by her aunt, for no rational reason, and the child's mother was upset b/c her child was upset and it turned out her sister is a racist. I think that's worth some crying and distance.
Load More Replies... I used to run weddings, I was involved in well over 300 weddings and I’ve seen all sorts of things. What I can tell you is that having a four year old as your flower girl guarantees some great smiles and some very proud grand parents. It’s your day but it’s also a family day, it brings together two families and hopefully it introduces them to each other in the best way possible. If you make it ALL about you then you’ll miss out on loads of opportunities and it’ll be stressful as you can imagine. Lay off the whole princess / prince thing and focus on the beginning of a new family and the love side of it.
Okay, I thought this reaction was overblown until the racism part. That's just nasty.
For me, a wedding is a fun party celebrating the union of two people. The funner the better. When/if I get married I want goofiness and silliness all over the place. And laughter. Lots of laughter :)
Yep, as long as no-one is like, horribly racist and nothing catches fire, anything that goes wrong is either going to be a minor hiccup or a hilarious story a few years down the line.
Load More Replies... I'm a photographer. I got hired to shoot some kid photos. My daughter promised to behave if she could watch. Naturally, she lied. My kid and the client's kids hit it off immediately. For shiggles I took some pics of them together before I had to separate them so the client could have pics of just her kids w/out my kid photobombing them. Client actually asked for the photos of our kids together. In a few weeks my daughter will be turning 6 and they'll be coming over to celebrate. DSC2168Ret...8ce0e2.jpg
This is beautiful! Looks like two brothers ganging up on the baby bro!!
Load More Replies... Why not have them both? Then they could have supported each other. The bride's attitude and actions were so wrong.
And that's when that little girl learns to be afraid and ashamed.... What a rotten thing to do to a child, any child, let alone family!
She will be fighting issues of believing She is not good enough even for those closest to her. This is her own aunty that did this to her.
Load More Replies... I don't understand why people thought the woman was the asshole even before the racism part. She noted how her sister has hurt her feelings and cutting her own niece out of the wedding party cause she wasn't perfect enough after having her practice for as long as she probably made her realize that her daughter's feelings would not be spared.
If a parent _doesn't_ cry when the outside world does something that hurts their little loved one, they're missing something in their emotional makeup.
You did the right thing!! Cut that bitch right out forever!! Her husband will probably leave her one day! She'll die alone and miserable!!
Seems like those big tacky pretentious weddings always bring the shittiest s**t out of people. It is supposed to be a happy day, when you can celebrate your relationship with your family and friend and have fun, but people choose to be obsessed with some absolutely insignificant s**t and make everyone miserable. The bride's treatment of her niece sounded terrible even without that alleged racist motivation, but if it's not just a hearsay, that's beyond disgusting.
For whatever this is worth, I send great karma to you and yours. I wish for your daughter more than success. I wish for her a path worthy of her sparkle. As for your sister? You make your bed, enjoy laying in it . (People like that tend to not learn the lesson)
Old money and England huh... poor Brita, now sure which old connection they have but damn, that does not fly in Europe.
It doesn't fly in the UK either, there is also plenty of old money in Europe.
Load More Replies... So basically the sister and her ilk were upset that people found out they were racist cretins who thought nothing was wrong with hurting a child's feelings and knew that getting the child's mother back on board would be the only way to get back "in" the family so they could pretend to not be racist cretins. Eff them.
I can't imagine breaking a child's heart this way. My granddaughter is 4. I can imagine her excitement at wearing a beautiful dress and being part of an important event. I'd at least want to, wouldn't do it, punch your sister in the face for crushing a child. I would pray to be able to forgive and confess the anger and hurt in my heart. I think the damage would be irreparable. Forgivable but I don't think I'd want to attach myself to someone so self centered.
If they don't dwell on the bride's behavior the OP's daughter may just forget it. However, the rest of the family has to decide how they'll deal with the groom's family's horrible racism, and the fact that the bride was choosing to marry him knowing that about him and them. It's obvious her family hadn't brought her up that way. She's sold her soul. I hope the OP and family have/had a great time with Mickey Mouse.
NTA. You did right to cut her out of your life. If she wants to be with an abusive a-hole and become an abusive a-hole just like him, don't let the door hit her ass on the way out. Adios! You and your family live your lives and be happy. A lot of us in life will face a barrage of hatred from a never ending parade of stupid - but it shouldn't be from your own family. Deuces.
Yo who was making fun of them for crying because their child was hurting!? Show yourselves... I just wanna talk....
Let's say they did still go to the wedding with the little girl. She's four she'd most likely start crying o being upset when the 8 year old can throw the flowers but not her. She'd be upset when her mum gets to stand with the bride in a really expensive dress but she has to wear something different now and sit with daddy. She would be excluded from a lot it sounds like and will be punished for being a four year old. If people have standards like that then don't have kids or don't invite kids to the wedding. She is protecting her child and standing by her showing that she will not stand for people walking over her even at four years old.
Did anyone else read the same article? She didn’t let the child participate not because she was t perfect. It was because of the racist things his family said about her sister and the baby. His family are the AH
Racial issues aside, I'd like to know how everyone feels about replacing a flower girl with an older child child who'll do better job with the role of flower girl. Because God knows that's how adult life works...
Replacing the toddler is lame, Otter. :( Cute tiny kids grabbing bunches of petals and chucking them around is the highlight of many a wedding!
Load More Replies... A child *reacted* to being rejected by her aunt, for no rational reason, and the child's mother was upset b/c her child was upset and it turned out her sister is a racist. I think that's worth some crying and distance.
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