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16 Hilariously Honest Comics Reveal The Difference Between Having The First Vs. Second Child
Parents know, that there are some quite big differences between having your first and second children. From different approaches to pregnancy, to slightly different ways the kids are raised once born. And these changes were beautifully illustrated by Weng Chen - an incredible artist, VR game designer and a mom from China, currently living in the US.
Weng Chen was always close to the world of art. "When I was about 2, 3 years old, my mom drew me a little mermaid and told me the story," she wrote on her website. "I was fascinated, it was like magic that the most beautiful picture just came from my mom’s pen. I believe that was when I fell in love with drawing and storytelling."
Now she focuses on drawing comics about her dreams and daily lives raising her two daughters, Electra, the firstborn, and Ali, the secondborn, together with her husband. "Messycow comics were started with an impulse. I didn’t spend any time designing anything, just dove in and started drawing."
Her latest series of comics explain the differences between the firstborn and the secondborn children and the strips are hilarious. What do you think?
More info: wengchen.wordpress.com | Facebook
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Exactly the same situation here with my first born toddler... am I a bad mother? :D
I am currently pregnant with our first, which is also gonna be our last because of my age. Yesterday, Dear Husband and I have seen baby on the ultrasound and since then, he's been floating on a blissfull cloud, telling everyone he meets (even strangers!) about his unpreceded and boundless happiness. Guess who gets to wear a crown for the next 5 months? :)
This happened to me, and I felt worthless as a mother for not being able to breastfeed. You can only try so much, and in the end what really counts is that the baby is being fed somehow and is healthy. I had to bottle feed him for his survival. I do think it's great when you can breastfeed your child, but sometimes you have to let go of some of your beliefs. Even though I had never thought about it, apparenltly, I as a new mother believed that a real mother has to breastfeed her child, or else she is not a "complete" mother. But now just see it as a true mother does what is best for her child, which in this case is giving the child enough nutrition no matter if it comes from a breast or bottle. Nobody wins a special prize for being able to do it the "natural" way. I'll never say I'm "pro" this or that. It hurt to be reminded by people that breast was the best when it didn't work in my situation even though i really wanted it to.
It is amazing the reasons as to why mothers possibly can not breast feed and the grief they cop. The mother of my children went through similar circumstance and people would judge. Our kids love us. No difference made to them.
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I did not breastfeed both of my children and never felt bad about it. Never. It is unbelievable how many seemingly sane people buy into every breastfeeding myth there is.
Sophie, don't feel worthless because you can't breast feed....You do everything for your child, and that does not lessen your role. You bond with your baby the same way when you bottle feed. Sure, breast feeding is good, but your baby loves and counts on you not one less bit!! Keep your chin up buttercup!
I had a ton of issues with my 1st born bf-ing...mastitis, trouble latching, etc. We ended up nursing for 2 yrs. My 2nd did amazing with nursing, but he weaned himself way before I was ready. I had to remember, it's a nursing RELATIONSHIP. By my 3rd kid, I thought it would be smooth sailing again. I was dead wrong. She had reflux and often fought me when it came to nursing. Yet, we somehow made it to almost 3 yrs. Point is while nursing is natural, it is rarely easy. It's a shame, however that 1 person has to be responsible for the manufacturing of all breastmilk. If donor milk were less expensive and wet nursing wasn't stigmatized, maybe it could be easier for a lot of moms.
I'm sorry you didn't find all support and help you needed. When mother wants to breastfeed and has problems (most of women have) and don't get all support and help they need (to overcome problems) it's just really sad, in my opinion. Doctors and nurses should help women breastfeed (if women wants to breastfeed, if they don't want too it's their choice, obviously)
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I have 3 children and none of them wanted to breast feed. To tell the truth, I didn't care for it either, They were all bottle-fed and were strong, healthy children who grew into strong, healthy adults.
I could only manage for 6 months with either of mine... but I felt much less guilty about it with my second! :) Breast is best but bottles save lives.
Disgusting normalization of the flawed nuclear family in all its dysfunction. Not funny.
Bf baby 1 for two and half years. Despite the agony I experienced for months at the beginning. Managed a few months bf with baby 2. I didn't want to torture myself any longer . I decided I deserved to at least not put myself through agony any longer. Whereas 1st baby I didn't think about myself once.
breast is indeed best, yes. but we all do what we can. it doesn't help when doctors misdiagnose issues, formula companies push their products and women don't get enough support
some can some cant I couldnt and one of mine had a hare lip so it was spoon feed milk etc
Berastmilk is great but there is absolutely no reason to torture yourself if the actual feeding doesn't work. (I mean, seriously, I read a story where a 1st world child died because of dehydration due to the breast ist best mania) Just pump it off and feed it via bottle and supplement with formula if necessary. I think it's also great if Dads get to feed their children, otherwise they are a bit left out, imo.
dad arent worse parents because they dont have breast. Dad can wash child, make it fall asleap, play with it. They don't need bottle to not be 'a bit left out'
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I'm pro-breastfeeding but also pro-vaccins, so what am I, since I can't be both?
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I am a middle child and this is PAINFULLY relatable. I had walking pneumonia once and could barely breath one night due to all the congestion in my lungs. My parents didn't believe I was actually having trouble breathing and assumed I was just panicking. If my grandfather didn't have an oximeter on him, my family probably would have let me stay at home and I would have died of oxygen deprivation. :|
I see some first-borns here speaking up about how their younger sibling seems to have been given more attention. Now, I don't know your personal family life, so please, don't think I'll be lecturing you, I'm just going to offer you a different outlook that might (or might not) help you out. 1.) The thing is that very likely you were given a similar amount of attention, it's just that you were too young to remember or even notice. It's always easier to see things in 3rd person. 2.) It's very human for new parents to be extra careful with their first born, because they're still learning. With the next children they get more relaxed because now they have some knowledge and experience, and this is what these comics are all about.
And 3.) Raising kids is a lot of damn work. Your parents may also just be worn out. I know I am.
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This made me kinda sad actually. I'm a firstborn and my brother is the secondborn and I think he struggled with being compared with me all the time and feeling like he wasn't as appreciated or "needed", I suppose, than me. This entire comic makes it really evident to me that my brother's grief isn't unbased and that it probably is a wider issue among secondborns or middle childs than expected. Downvote :(
Well, I have difference experience. I'm firstborn and I have younger brother. My mother's focus was always on him (for as long as I can rembember) and well, she cares more about him than me. Maybe it's mama's boy thing, I don't know. I'm still bitter about it sometimes and I'm grown women now. So it's not always "firstborn is the best" thing
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That's why I've always thought having 1+ kids is a bad idea. I suffered exactly the same problem, even though I was the firstborn in the family. I just felt as though I was treated unfairly. Always having to clean up after my sister and yeah, it was always my fault, even if it was obvious she was the one who messed everything up. Fortunately, at some point my mom bought a couple of books on children psychology and soon all was fine and my relationship with my parents was greatly improved. And, no, it wasn't just the fact that I grew older and already had more brains in my head.
Some parents think that they know so much about parenting and they avoid any advice of people who have lots of experience in that field. I guess we, as humans, we love to reinvent the wheel.
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I did not do most of the things for my child (I have only one) and I find this too exaggerated. And I would not allow myself to treat my children unequally (don't give me that "Wait until you have second child"). My mother treated me and my sis the same and I don't see why I shouldn't do the same.
I have 2 kids, the first born is a boy, second is a girl. I could not relate at all to all these. It may be because they are of different sexes. I still fuss about what my second eats, what she wears, what she is exposed to, and so much more. She is a year old but she is still my baby, I don't want her to grow :(. And the big one is still mommy's boy
yep, you think your 1st child is soo fragile, turns out not so much and you probably didn't need to worry THAT much, so 2nd child gets benefit of the doubt.
Oh the joys of being the second born... I wish she'd at least included some of the cons of being the first born. This is actually a rather one sided views comic. I feel depressed now, not amused...
Of course it's a rather one sided view, because the comic is not about the children, it's about the mom.
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Not funny. Sad, really. Our culture sees these travesties as normal events instead of symptoms of a terrible system - The nuclear family. Why is it considered normal for one under-trained young woman to train a new person, all by herself? Where is her extended family? Aunts, uncles, cousins and neighbors! She is alone in her house raising children, w***y-nilly as she pleases. WTF?
I think a lot of this is so true, but some of how the kids are treated has to do with whether the parents were first borns or later. My mom was a second child and my dad was a youngest. The day my younger sister was born, she became the princess who could do no wrong. What she wanted was law, what she said was always true. They were so focused on making sure she didn't get the short end of the stick that they forgot it could go the other way. Now as a parent, I often find myself relating more to my oldest, and I have to be careful because I don't want them to be treated unequally.
Poor 2nd born does not realise things gets worse for them once no.3 comes around.
hahahaha, imagine the third child !!! ( fall's to the ground and cries a little bit )
Falls to the ground -> "Stand up, you're fine" before the child even has the time to realise it hurts and to start crying.
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Is this why my sister still acts like the queen of the house and im often ignored
Actually I was laughing all through the comics.. 😂 because I have a 1year old and I am seriously that particular with him! If he doesn't eat I go into depression 🤣 but I don't know what I'll do with 2nd kid. I guess by that time I'll be fine with everything. But then I read the comments sections.. and phew... I remembered that I am a second child and having an elder sister with 32 years of long mental health issues and her issues with my parents... This had actually left me feeling like an orphan... I actually went to therapy because my parents never had time for me. She was always always always into some kind of trouble. Even today her marriage is going through a divorce... She just cannot live a peaceful life, i just feel very very sorry for my mum and dad.. they never received any love, respect and care from her inspite of all that they did for her... It's her tendency to kick and hurt the people who love and support her.. and we have all have our butts kicked... Really sad.
I'm the second child and seeing this makes me think of what my mom does/did. I feel kinda sad about this now
My mom did the same to me as she did with my older bro. Not all parents are like this xD
All these artists really bother me. Many of the comic I see have tons of grammar issues.
terrible, people who dont want tto take the best care of their all children, should have no child...
I see some first-borns here speaking up about how their younger sibling seems to have been given more attention. Now, I don't know your personal family life, so please, don't think I'll be lecturing you, I'm just going to offer you a different outlook that might (or might not) help you out. 1.) The thing is that very likely you were given a similar amount of attention, it's just that you were too young to remember or even notice. It's always easier to see things in 3rd person. 2.) It's very human for new parents to be extra careful with their first born, because they're still learning. With the next children they get more relaxed because now they have some knowledge and experience, and this is what these comics are all about.
And 3.) Raising kids is a lot of damn work. Your parents may also just be worn out. I know I am.
Load More Replies... This made me kinda sad actually. I'm a firstborn and my brother is the secondborn and I think he struggled with being compared with me all the time and feeling like he wasn't as appreciated or "needed", I suppose, than me. This entire comic makes it really evident to me that my brother's grief isn't unbased and that it probably is a wider issue among secondborns or middle childs than expected. Downvote :(
Well, I have difference experience. I'm firstborn and I have younger brother. My mother's focus was always on him (for as long as I can rembember) and well, she cares more about him than me. Maybe it's mama's boy thing, I don't know. I'm still bitter about it sometimes and I'm grown women now. So it's not always "firstborn is the best" thing
Load More Replies... That's why I've always thought having 1+ kids is a bad idea. I suffered exactly the same problem, even though I was the firstborn in the family. I just felt as though I was treated unfairly. Always having to clean up after my sister and yeah, it was always my fault, even if it was obvious she was the one who messed everything up. Fortunately, at some point my mom bought a couple of books on children psychology and soon all was fine and my relationship with my parents was greatly improved. And, no, it wasn't just the fact that I grew older and already had more brains in my head.
Some parents think that they know so much about parenting and they avoid any advice of people who have lots of experience in that field. I guess we, as humans, we love to reinvent the wheel.
Load More Replies... I did not do most of the things for my child (I have only one) and I find this too exaggerated. And I would not allow myself to treat my children unequally (don't give me that "Wait until you have second child"). My mother treated me and my sis the same and I don't see why I shouldn't do the same.
I have 2 kids, the first born is a boy, second is a girl. I could not relate at all to all these. It may be because they are of different sexes. I still fuss about what my second eats, what she wears, what she is exposed to, and so much more. She is a year old but she is still my baby, I don't want her to grow :(. And the big one is still mommy's boy
yep, you think your 1st child is soo fragile, turns out not so much and you probably didn't need to worry THAT much, so 2nd child gets benefit of the doubt.
Oh the joys of being the second born... I wish she'd at least included some of the cons of being the first born. This is actually a rather one sided views comic. I feel depressed now, not amused...
Of course it's a rather one sided view, because the comic is not about the children, it's about the mom.
Load More Replies... Not funny. Sad, really. Our culture sees these travesties as normal events instead of symptoms of a terrible system - The nuclear family. Why is it considered normal for one under-trained young woman to train a new person, all by herself? Where is her extended family? Aunts, uncles, cousins and neighbors! She is alone in her house raising children, w***y-nilly as she pleases. WTF?
I think a lot of this is so true, but some of how the kids are treated has to do with whether the parents were first borns or later. My mom was a second child and my dad was a youngest. The day my younger sister was born, she became the princess who could do no wrong. What she wanted was law, what she said was always true. They were so focused on making sure she didn't get the short end of the stick that they forgot it could go the other way. Now as a parent, I often find myself relating more to my oldest, and I have to be careful because I don't want them to be treated unequally.
Poor 2nd born does not realise things gets worse for them once no.3 comes around.
hahahaha, imagine the third child !!! ( fall's to the ground and cries a little bit )
Falls to the ground -> "Stand up, you're fine" before the child even has the time to realise it hurts and to start crying.
Load More Replies... Is this why my sister still acts like the queen of the house and im often ignored
Actually I was laughing all through the comics.. 😂 because I have a 1year old and I am seriously that particular with him! If he doesn't eat I go into depression 🤣 but I don't know what I'll do with 2nd kid. I guess by that time I'll be fine with everything. But then I read the comments sections.. and phew... I remembered that I am a second child and having an elder sister with 32 years of long mental health issues and her issues with my parents... This had actually left me feeling like an orphan... I actually went to therapy because my parents never had time for me. She was always always always into some kind of trouble. Even today her marriage is going through a divorce... She just cannot live a peaceful life, i just feel very very sorry for my mum and dad.. they never received any love, respect and care from her inspite of all that they did for her... It's her tendency to kick and hurt the people who love and support her.. and we have all have our butts kicked... Really sad.
I'm the second child and seeing this makes me think of what my mom does/did. I feel kinda sad about this now
My mom did the same to me as she did with my older bro. Not all parents are like this xD
All these artists really bother me. Many of the comic I see have tons of grammar issues.
terrible, people who dont want tto take the best care of their all children, should have no child...
