Drama Ensues After Woman Asked SIL And Brother To Find Someone Else To Care For Their 5 Y.O. And 7 Y.O. Children During The Day
Family is pretty much the most significant thing that our life has to offer. It gives us a sense of belonging; it allows us to feel safe and content. Our loved ones teach us the most valuable lessons and prepare us for the big-big world.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a carefree teen or a 60-year-old office worker – having a great connection with your family will promise you your well-being and secure you with that everlasting support.
However, in order to have that strong bond, it’s vital to set and maintain healthy boundaries. Some folks often take the relationship to an absurd extent and even use it for their own benefit, where we end up feeling intruded upon or taken for granted.
More info: Reddit
Putting other people’s needs above yours is never a good idea, even if it’s your family member
Image credits: Francisco Carbajal
“AITA for telling my brother and SIL to find alternate childcare?” – this online user took it to one of the most cherished subreddits to reveal a story about the altercation she had with her brother and his wife. The post has managed to receive over 17K upvotes, as well as 1.2K worth of comments debating about the audacity that some folks have.
Woman wonders if she’s wrong for telling her brother and SIL to find an alternative childcare option, as watching their kids greatly affects her job performance
Image credits: u/brothrowaway789456
The author started her post off with an introduction; she’s a 41-year-old woman and has a brother who’s slightly younger. The brother is married and has two young kids, while the OP and her husband are childfree by choice.
Image credits: u/brothrowaway789456
The woman then revealed that she has no issues with children, it was just a personal choice not to have any herself and that she and her husband enjoy being aunt and uncle to her brother’s offspring. Moreover, the couple doesn’t mind having the woman’s niece and nephew over when her brother and sister-in-law are in need of a break, though they do love the peace and quiet so they don’t do it too often.
Sadly, her brother had some issues at his company which resulted in his wife getting a part-time job so that she could help him out with the bills. Their children, at the time, were attending school online, which means that the spouses needed some help with childcare.
Image credits: MadFishDigital
Later on, the author’s brother wondered if the couple would be willing to watch his kids during the day since they’re both working from home. Naturally, the woman and her husband agreed but only with the promise that the babysitting is going to be a temporary thing and until they’ll be able to find an alternative childcare option. Well, it all went on for 4 months.
Image credits: u/brothrowaway789456
The woman then revealed that she is expecting a massive trial and has been working for 80 hours a week to prepare. She spoke to her sister-in-law and brother on multiple occasions and kept informing them that it was getting practically impossible to manage the kids and work at the same time.
The OP decided to put an end to this situation when the kids interrupted her meeting with a client by arguing over a TV remote, and when their mother came to pick them up, the woman gave her two weeks to find someone else. She revealed that she cannot watch the children anymore as it is affecting her job performance, and it is very unfair for them to put her in this position.
Image credits: u/brothrowaway789456
As expected, the sister-in-law went absolutely ballistic and called the OP selfish, while also saying that she’s uncaring. Later on, her brother called and scolded her for not having any compassion for them. The woman tried to resolve the issue by saying that if it has anything to do with their finances she’s more than willing to chip in for a nanny or an au pair – however, the man didn’t handle the suggestion well and accused her of “flaunting her wealth”.
Image credits: Virginia State Parks
Time goes by, sister-in-law ended up putting in her two weeks’ notice, and the brother, once again, has added more fuel to the fire and said that if his family ends up homeless – that’ll be all on her.
Fellow Redditors were dumbfounded by the audacity of the parents
NTA-working from home doesn't mean you are free. If you worked in an office, they wouldn't even consider asking. You gave them an inch and they took a mile. You offered to help with expenses but rather than accept it, they threaten that YOU that they're going to be homeless? If they were really that close to homelessness, she would have kept her job and taken you up on your offer to pay for childcare. They would rather take their kids into homelessness? Okay not buying it.
That was my feeling. If SIL is giving up her job they are either not that much at risk of homelessness or willing to do something incredibly stupid to make a point. Or maybe just lying and she isn't really giving up her job but was saying it in the hopes of piling on the pressure. In any case OP has been more than reasonable. People do love to overreact and blame others for their problems.
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Wait, the brother has had cutbacks at work - so much so that the sister in law needed a part time job to help with the bills, does this mean the brother was working less? because if so, wtf is he doing with his free time?
You know the answer to this. Everyone knows the answer to this. You could send them a bill for childcare services and still not be the AH.
SIL just needs an evening job. Dad works days, mom has kids. Mom works evenings, dad has kids. No childcare costs involved.
Had a friend who was watching another person’s kid five nights a week because mommy and daddy both worked nights. This went on for five or six years until I pointed out to him that they spent far more than the $30 a week they were getting paid just to feed the kid. When he suggested to the mom that they couldn’t keep watching the kid every night forever the mom pitched a huge fit and ended their friendship. My friend said it was the best favor anyone had ever done for him.
5-6 YEARS?! woah!! That's a long time to care for someone's kids for free
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So LITERALLY the INSTANT you suggest an alternative for something you're doing for free out of the goodness of your heart, YOU get called selfish?!?! Eff them. Eff them sideways. NTA obviously.
You're an angel, offering to pay for a nanny? Beyond generous. The two kids are not your responsibility... your work is. Goodbye SIL and Bro.....
The big mistake here was not setting a clear boundary at the beginning. A word like "temporary" is too ambiguous. For some people, that could mean 2 weeks, for others it could mean 6 months. It's amazing how quickly a temporary situation becomes the new normal.
Also, it's crazy that offers to help are quickly re-written in someone's head that it's a joy to do. Like, a parent unloads their kids on grandma, and because Grandma loves the kids, it's imagined that it must be no big deal, easy, and not an imposition. It's possible that Grandma thinks it is fun, but it's also possible that she just wants to be supportive, and is overly trusting that her kids won't take advantage of her. I feel like the same thing is happening here.
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Their children their problem...honestly you should've said no from the start or said a couple of day per week for a month. Everybody knows when you start with "I'll help until you can...." they are gonna ride that train until the brakes fall off.
Yep. That's exactly what happens when temporary help is usually called.
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Dear future parents: YOU are the ONLY person who has ANY RESPONSIBILITY over your offspring. You aren't entitled to extra help because it's harder than you thought. If you do receive help be gracious and appreciative and never take advantage. If someone regularly does help out remember that they are doing you a favor and can choose to stop at any point and for any reason.
I hate this concept family members in general have of childless people being second-rate citizens with the obligation to take care of any relative´s child just because by not having a child makes them a babysitter/nanny by default. "You have no children, therefore your life is meaningless and unimportant but morally obliged to help me with my children." I have my own life, you know, and you must respect my time and my privacy, and my choices as well.
It works the other way as well, for Sahm's. Just because I stay home and take care of my children doesn't mean that I'm automatically responsible for other's children. Idk how many times I've been told, BY FAMILY, but you don't do anything but watch kids, so what's a few more? Like, really? And vacation with my family and their kids? I either take care of everyone's kids (including my own) or my two teens get roped into watching them "for a few minutes", which I end up taking over after 10 minutes so my kids can relax and enjoy their vacay, but then I end up watching the kids for an hour. Then their parents don't understand why I'm mad. "You don't work, so is it really that if of a deal?" Please. I work my ass off every day and get almost no time off.
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Evidently they need two nannies: one for the children and one for the parents.
What is with these types of family members that think they are entitled to your time just because you don't have kids of your own or because you work from home? Maybe SIL should find herself a work-at-home job and deal with her own kids that they chose to have.
So if people decide(key word is they DECIDED) to have kids it is their responsibility to provide care for them. You do whatever you have to do to work and also be able to be home with them. My parents worked opposite shifts so that one of them was always home with us. That's a sacrifice they made because they wanted kids and didn't want to live in poverty. You made the decision to not have kids. How someone can be upset with you for not giving up half of your life for their choices makes no since to me. People need to own their choices and stop trying to make others be responsible for them.
Uh...wait, the brother has cutbacks at his job? So did he get laid off then? If so, why isn't he watching the kids? If he's found work, then why can't they afford childcare on two incomes for school aged children? Have they applied for social services assistance? Boys and Girls club is so cheap it's practically free for after school care. If the sister in law quit her job that easily, without looking at other options, that implies they probably don't actually need her income. Op was being taken advantage of from the get. Sounds like the brother and sister never even needed childcare to begin with. They just didn't wanna take responsibility themselves.
Wow! Remote learning in schools has been really tough for parents to handle, and more than one family has needed to adjust their working hours. Not the aunt and uncle, the parents. SIL could look for evening work so her husband would be free to watch the kids while she works. Any way you look at it, aunt and uncle are NTA. I would say they have done more than needed and have offered to do more. Remote learning for the youngest grades (like these 2 kids) doesn't require a whole lot from the adults besides keeping the kids' eye on the ball. Hopefully, the parents will get their ducks in a row and not cause a permanent rift in the family. It is not your problem and you have done right by them.
Back at the beginning of the pandemic, my company relaxed its rule of requiring people working from home to have childcare. Since then, the rule has been reinstated with som flexibility around school closures or sick kids. But you can be fired if you are trying to provide childcare while you are working. There was never any flexibility for looking after someone else’s kids. OP needs to stop doing this before she loses her own job. Btw, it never ceases to amaze that TAs think yelling and insulting people will get them to do what they want. In this case, I suspect the parents will be back with their hands out soon enough if OP holds her ground.
When my husband and I went through tough financial times, we worked opposite shifts so we didn't need daycare. Previously to this we had a nanny come into our home. Yeah it sucked but it was only for a couple years. They were our kids so our responsibility. Maybe offer them a loan but something legal. I think there is more to this story and I am wondering if your brother has used you before to bail him out. You need to step back and not enable their behavior. Family is great, until it isn't!
You and your husband are child-free by choice and you both work from home. Allowing a temporary situation to go on for four months is more than generous. Your brother's kids are his choice and ultimately his responsibility; how much more could you do, having offered financial help with their child care expense? His accusation of flaunting your wealth sounds like jealousy, so don't offer again. His wife's decision to quit her job sounds like an attempt to guilt you. Those two boneheads deserve each other. You are not responsible for his employer's changes or downsizing and he is not the only one experiencing these problems. All you and your husband can do is stay on top of your game so that if your brother ever apologizes and asks for help you will be able to do so. Even adults need an occasional reminder that actions have consequences.
You gave them 4 whole months...they could have found someone in a week or two. Definitely NTA
You are both working full time from home. Maybe suggest she help out another family getting paid to watch their kids so she can stay home with her own too? There are lots of ways to try and work from home so you don't have to pay for childcare. If they are home because of Covid, they need to get back to school. You are not selfish for " taking" her kids to work with you everyday... even if its in your living room..
One of my SILs & a neighbor trade off babysitting/kid watching. Worked great for them & built a long lasting friendship.
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I semi-retired four years ago due to caregiver burn out. Theee years ago my niece moved in with her infant. I now have a very lucrative job at a large hospital healthcare system as work from home 95% of the time. I’m still babysitting the now 3 year old, trying to work FT, and still expected to have dinner ready when my niece and husband get home at 7pm every night. I have three masters degrees, make 6 figures, but watching a 3 year old for 11 hours a day is exhausting. Also, I babysit for free. Just had a week long on-site in a different state and my niece took FMLA because she had no other childcare options and is now blaming me for not being able to make her car payment because she can’t work. I didn’t have children of my own because I didn’t want children. Now at 50 years of age, I’m raising a child and working FT and being blamed for not being at my nieces beck and call for childcare. BYW, my niece will be 32 in November. You are NTA!!! Your brother and SIL have abused your enough
Sounds like your niece is abusing your generosity as well. You work a FT job making 6 figures and raise your niece's daughter, and are expected to have dinner ready by 7 for them and your husband? Nope, nope, nope. Tell your niece to grow up. She has no idea how lucky she is to have your help. It sucks, but she chose to have a child, and it's not your responsibility to raise that child, or take care of a grown ass woman.
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"You are correct, I AM selfish and uncaring. Now, why would you entrust your children to such an individual, being fully aware of their uncaring selfishness? My God, what kind of parents ARE you?!"
Ask them if they think you should quit your job to look after their kids and see if that starts making sense to them?
“Lack of planning on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency on my part.”
Gosh what a selfish Brother and SIL. Instead of being grateful for those 4 months, they need to belittle and blame you for not taking care of their own child. NTA, please don't be bother with their actions.
Simple solution for the parents... work different shifts so one parent is always with the kids.
If dad's hours are cut and mom is part time, why can't they schedule to watch their own kids? Like normal people do.
NTA - don't have kids if you can't afford them. You cannot in all seriousness think a busy lawyer will be your full time Nanny jsut because she happpens to be your sister. very disrespectful towards the sister who the brother clearly just sess as free help ot as a professional lawyer.
Be selfish about your career, of their children are a problem sending them back is the best choice
Those who choose to breed expect everyone else to help. I CHOSE not to reproduce. Eff off!
I work from home. Work from does not mean it is synonymous to being free to do child care. I cant even have my toodler in my office least I want to get terminated.
Most companies won't even let you work remote and watch children at the same time because it will distract you from work. Even with online school, you have to be on top of them and making sure they are not goofing off and actually doing their work. That's enough just by itself, let alone trying to work from home. Her brother and SIL sound very entitled.
Why doesn't the SIL take in some kids to watch and home school with her own children. That would help another family out and it would provide probably more income than she was probably making at the pt job. Win/Win
That would mean too much work Not all women who have a kid really want to look after them, let alone anyone else's
Load More Replies... I think that the Family of the children felt comfortable havi g them with a family member and never took the time to search for childcare. I think their aunt took such good care of them so they never gave it a second thought. The fact that mom quit her job explains it. So they are pissed well true be it the parents only heard what they wanted to hear. Blessed anutie. I wish someone offered help for day care to me.
Oh, please!! NTA! The brother & his wife are the AHs. You said temporary. Maybe should have had it in writing. If you are putting in basically 2 week's worth of work in 1 actual week. You are beyond busy! Been there before, not fun! Maybe those 2 should have thought ahead when deciding to have offspring. Yes, having kids is a dream of many, but is it one they can actually afford? What if the brother lost his job all together or God forbid one of them passed? What would happen then? You can't rely on people's good graces forever, even family. Cause we're all human...we all get sick/busy, we all loose jobs/income, we all suffer financial setbacks. Like the writer & her spouse, my hubby & didn't have children. Slightly different reasons though. Cancer runs rampant in my hubby's family. Mental illness runs bat crazy in mine. We wanted to always be there for any kids we may have had, but our illnesses may have prevented that. I had the darkest abyss in my childbearing years. No thanks.
NTA. You were doing them a favor and they took advantage. They are behaving like spoiled, entitled children. You even offered to help pay for a nanny. I wish you were my sister.
Taking care of kids require you to lose something else be it your job performance, personal time etc. If you guys decided to be childfree then definitely you can't compromise anything for your own kids then how can you do so for anybody else's kids. Definitely you and your brother has different mindset. Personally I don't like the people who willing remains childfree.
Is there a reason you don't like people who are child free? What exactly is it about choosing to remain child free you dont like?
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'You are selfish, and it's not a criticism.' He said, judging harshly, speculating wildly, projecting madly and banging on about grandma's for absolutely no reason at all. PS a child is a child and not a Get Out of Jail Free card. Got that?
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NTA-working from home doesn't mean you are free. If you worked in an office, they wouldn't even consider asking. You gave them an inch and they took a mile. You offered to help with expenses but rather than accept it, they threaten that YOU that they're going to be homeless? If they were really that close to homelessness, she would have kept her job and taken you up on your offer to pay for childcare. They would rather take their kids into homelessness? Okay not buying it.
That was my feeling. If SIL is giving up her job they are either not that much at risk of homelessness or willing to do something incredibly stupid to make a point. Or maybe just lying and she isn't really giving up her job but was saying it in the hopes of piling on the pressure. In any case OP has been more than reasonable. People do love to overreact and blame others for their problems.
Load More Replies... Wait, the brother has had cutbacks at work - so much so that the sister in law needed a part time job to help with the bills, does this mean the brother was working less? because if so, wtf is he doing with his free time?
You know the answer to this. Everyone knows the answer to this. You could send them a bill for childcare services and still not be the AH.
SIL just needs an evening job. Dad works days, mom has kids. Mom works evenings, dad has kids. No childcare costs involved.
Had a friend who was watching another person’s kid five nights a week because mommy and daddy both worked nights. This went on for five or six years until I pointed out to him that they spent far more than the $30 a week they were getting paid just to feed the kid. When he suggested to the mom that they couldn’t keep watching the kid every night forever the mom pitched a huge fit and ended their friendship. My friend said it was the best favor anyone had ever done for him.
5-6 YEARS?! woah!! That's a long time to care for someone's kids for free
Load More Replies... So LITERALLY the INSTANT you suggest an alternative for something you're doing for free out of the goodness of your heart, YOU get called selfish?!?! Eff them. Eff them sideways. NTA obviously.
You're an angel, offering to pay for a nanny? Beyond generous. The two kids are not your responsibility... your work is. Goodbye SIL and Bro.....
The big mistake here was not setting a clear boundary at the beginning. A word like "temporary" is too ambiguous. For some people, that could mean 2 weeks, for others it could mean 6 months. It's amazing how quickly a temporary situation becomes the new normal.
Also, it's crazy that offers to help are quickly re-written in someone's head that it's a joy to do. Like, a parent unloads their kids on grandma, and because Grandma loves the kids, it's imagined that it must be no big deal, easy, and not an imposition. It's possible that Grandma thinks it is fun, but it's also possible that she just wants to be supportive, and is overly trusting that her kids won't take advantage of her. I feel like the same thing is happening here.
Load More Replies... Their children their problem...honestly you should've said no from the start or said a couple of day per week for a month. Everybody knows when you start with "I'll help until you can...." they are gonna ride that train until the brakes fall off.
Yep. That's exactly what happens when temporary help is usually called.
Load More Replies... Dear future parents: YOU are the ONLY person who has ANY RESPONSIBILITY over your offspring. You aren't entitled to extra help because it's harder than you thought. If you do receive help be gracious and appreciative and never take advantage. If someone regularly does help out remember that they are doing you a favor and can choose to stop at any point and for any reason.
I hate this concept family members in general have of childless people being second-rate citizens with the obligation to take care of any relative´s child just because by not having a child makes them a babysitter/nanny by default. "You have no children, therefore your life is meaningless and unimportant but morally obliged to help me with my children." I have my own life, you know, and you must respect my time and my privacy, and my choices as well.
It works the other way as well, for Sahm's. Just because I stay home and take care of my children doesn't mean that I'm automatically responsible for other's children. Idk how many times I've been told, BY FAMILY, but you don't do anything but watch kids, so what's a few more? Like, really? And vacation with my family and their kids? I either take care of everyone's kids (including my own) or my two teens get roped into watching them "for a few minutes", which I end up taking over after 10 minutes so my kids can relax and enjoy their vacay, but then I end up watching the kids for an hour. Then their parents don't understand why I'm mad. "You don't work, so is it really that if of a deal?" Please. I work my ass off every day and get almost no time off.
Load More Replies... Evidently they need two nannies: one for the children and one for the parents.
What is with these types of family members that think they are entitled to your time just because you don't have kids of your own or because you work from home? Maybe SIL should find herself a work-at-home job and deal with her own kids that they chose to have.
So if people decide(key word is they DECIDED) to have kids it is their responsibility to provide care for them. You do whatever you have to do to work and also be able to be home with them. My parents worked opposite shifts so that one of them was always home with us. That's a sacrifice they made because they wanted kids and didn't want to live in poverty. You made the decision to not have kids. How someone can be upset with you for not giving up half of your life for their choices makes no since to me. People need to own their choices and stop trying to make others be responsible for them.
Uh...wait, the brother has cutbacks at his job? So did he get laid off then? If so, why isn't he watching the kids? If he's found work, then why can't they afford childcare on two incomes for school aged children? Have they applied for social services assistance? Boys and Girls club is so cheap it's practically free for after school care. If the sister in law quit her job that easily, without looking at other options, that implies they probably don't actually need her income. Op was being taken advantage of from the get. Sounds like the brother and sister never even needed childcare to begin with. They just didn't wanna take responsibility themselves.
Wow! Remote learning in schools has been really tough for parents to handle, and more than one family has needed to adjust their working hours. Not the aunt and uncle, the parents. SIL could look for evening work so her husband would be free to watch the kids while she works. Any way you look at it, aunt and uncle are NTA. I would say they have done more than needed and have offered to do more. Remote learning for the youngest grades (like these 2 kids) doesn't require a whole lot from the adults besides keeping the kids' eye on the ball. Hopefully, the parents will get their ducks in a row and not cause a permanent rift in the family. It is not your problem and you have done right by them.
Back at the beginning of the pandemic, my company relaxed its rule of requiring people working from home to have childcare. Since then, the rule has been reinstated with som flexibility around school closures or sick kids. But you can be fired if you are trying to provide childcare while you are working. There was never any flexibility for looking after someone else’s kids. OP needs to stop doing this before she loses her own job. Btw, it never ceases to amaze that TAs think yelling and insulting people will get them to do what they want. In this case, I suspect the parents will be back with their hands out soon enough if OP holds her ground.
When my husband and I went through tough financial times, we worked opposite shifts so we didn't need daycare. Previously to this we had a nanny come into our home. Yeah it sucked but it was only for a couple years. They were our kids so our responsibility. Maybe offer them a loan but something legal. I think there is more to this story and I am wondering if your brother has used you before to bail him out. You need to step back and not enable their behavior. Family is great, until it isn't!
You and your husband are child-free by choice and you both work from home. Allowing a temporary situation to go on for four months is more than generous. Your brother's kids are his choice and ultimately his responsibility; how much more could you do, having offered financial help with their child care expense? His accusation of flaunting your wealth sounds like jealousy, so don't offer again. His wife's decision to quit her job sounds like an attempt to guilt you. Those two boneheads deserve each other. You are not responsible for his employer's changes or downsizing and he is not the only one experiencing these problems. All you and your husband can do is stay on top of your game so that if your brother ever apologizes and asks for help you will be able to do so. Even adults need an occasional reminder that actions have consequences.
You gave them 4 whole months...they could have found someone in a week or two. Definitely NTA
You are both working full time from home. Maybe suggest she help out another family getting paid to watch their kids so she can stay home with her own too? There are lots of ways to try and work from home so you don't have to pay for childcare. If they are home because of Covid, they need to get back to school. You are not selfish for " taking" her kids to work with you everyday... even if its in your living room..
One of my SILs & a neighbor trade off babysitting/kid watching. Worked great for them & built a long lasting friendship.
Load More Replies... I semi-retired four years ago due to caregiver burn out. Theee years ago my niece moved in with her infant. I now have a very lucrative job at a large hospital healthcare system as work from home 95% of the time. I’m still babysitting the now 3 year old, trying to work FT, and still expected to have dinner ready when my niece and husband get home at 7pm every night. I have three masters degrees, make 6 figures, but watching a 3 year old for 11 hours a day is exhausting. Also, I babysit for free. Just had a week long on-site in a different state and my niece took FMLA because she had no other childcare options and is now blaming me for not being able to make her car payment because she can’t work. I didn’t have children of my own because I didn’t want children. Now at 50 years of age, I’m raising a child and working FT and being blamed for not being at my nieces beck and call for childcare. BYW, my niece will be 32 in November. You are NTA!!! Your brother and SIL have abused your enough
Sounds like your niece is abusing your generosity as well. You work a FT job making 6 figures and raise your niece's daughter, and are expected to have dinner ready by 7 for them and your husband? Nope, nope, nope. Tell your niece to grow up. She has no idea how lucky she is to have your help. It sucks, but she chose to have a child, and it's not your responsibility to raise that child, or take care of a grown ass woman.
Load More Replies... "You are correct, I AM selfish and uncaring. Now, why would you entrust your children to such an individual, being fully aware of their uncaring selfishness? My God, what kind of parents ARE you?!"
Ask them if they think you should quit your job to look after their kids and see if that starts making sense to them?
“Lack of planning on your part doesn’t constitute an emergency on my part.”
Gosh what a selfish Brother and SIL. Instead of being grateful for those 4 months, they need to belittle and blame you for not taking care of their own child. NTA, please don't be bother with their actions.
Simple solution for the parents... work different shifts so one parent is always with the kids.
If dad's hours are cut and mom is part time, why can't they schedule to watch their own kids? Like normal people do.
NTA - don't have kids if you can't afford them. You cannot in all seriousness think a busy lawyer will be your full time Nanny jsut because she happpens to be your sister. very disrespectful towards the sister who the brother clearly just sess as free help ot as a professional lawyer.
Be selfish about your career, of their children are a problem sending them back is the best choice
Those who choose to breed expect everyone else to help. I CHOSE not to reproduce. Eff off!
I work from home. Work from does not mean it is synonymous to being free to do child care. I cant even have my toodler in my office least I want to get terminated.
Most companies won't even let you work remote and watch children at the same time because it will distract you from work. Even with online school, you have to be on top of them and making sure they are not goofing off and actually doing their work. That's enough just by itself, let alone trying to work from home. Her brother and SIL sound very entitled.
Why doesn't the SIL take in some kids to watch and home school with her own children. That would help another family out and it would provide probably more income than she was probably making at the pt job. Win/Win
That would mean too much work Not all women who have a kid really want to look after them, let alone anyone else's
Load More Replies... I think that the Family of the children felt comfortable havi g them with a family member and never took the time to search for childcare. I think their aunt took such good care of them so they never gave it a second thought. The fact that mom quit her job explains it. So they are pissed well true be it the parents only heard what they wanted to hear. Blessed anutie. I wish someone offered help for day care to me.
Oh, please!! NTA! The brother & his wife are the AHs. You said temporary. Maybe should have had it in writing. If you are putting in basically 2 week's worth of work in 1 actual week. You are beyond busy! Been there before, not fun! Maybe those 2 should have thought ahead when deciding to have offspring. Yes, having kids is a dream of many, but is it one they can actually afford? What if the brother lost his job all together or God forbid one of them passed? What would happen then? You can't rely on people's good graces forever, even family. Cause we're all human...we all get sick/busy, we all loose jobs/income, we all suffer financial setbacks. Like the writer & her spouse, my hubby & didn't have children. Slightly different reasons though. Cancer runs rampant in my hubby's family. Mental illness runs bat crazy in mine. We wanted to always be there for any kids we may have had, but our illnesses may have prevented that. I had the darkest abyss in my childbearing years. No thanks.
NTA. You were doing them a favor and they took advantage. They are behaving like spoiled, entitled children. You even offered to help pay for a nanny. I wish you were my sister.
Taking care of kids require you to lose something else be it your job performance, personal time etc. If you guys decided to be childfree then definitely you can't compromise anything for your own kids then how can you do so for anybody else's kids. Definitely you and your brother has different mindset. Personally I don't like the people who willing remains childfree.
Is there a reason you don't like people who are child free? What exactly is it about choosing to remain child free you dont like?
Load More Replies... 'You are selfish, and it's not a criticism.' He said, judging harshly, speculating wildly, projecting madly and banging on about grandma's for absolutely no reason at all. PS a child is a child and not a Get Out of Jail Free card. Got that?
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