Man Throws A Fit After His Fiancee Decides Not To Put Him On Her House Title As He Pranked Her At The Lawyer’s Office
There are situations in life when a person has almost achieved long-awaited and desired success – and only then, literally being a step away from it, due to their own stupidity, loses everything, nullifying all their previous steps, attempts and experiences.
For example, imagine that Thanos, having already collected all the Infinity Stones, instead of just snapping his fingers, suddenly decides to play baseball with his wonderful golden gauntlet. Incredible, you say? Of course, but in real life, something like this happens very often.
For example, like this story, which has collected nearly 22.2K upvotes and more than 5.7K various comments in the AITA Reddit community. Of course, the failure of one of the heroes of this tale was not so epic, but it could still have unpleasant consequences for him.
More info: Reddit
The Original Poster is planning to marry the man with whom she has been together for 3 years
Image source: mikelao26 (not the actual photo)
So, the Original Poster and her fiancé have been together for three years now, and plan to tie the knot towards the end of this year. The OP inherited a house from her mother, and the new family is about to move there. The house is in the OP’s name, but the man has tried to persuade her several times to have his on the title as well.
Image source: DojaDog677
The OP finally gave in to her fiancé’s begging and decided to have his name on her house title
The woman hesitated for a long time, offering, for instance, to make him a co-owner of the house after the wedding. But the fiancé’s arguments still had an effect. For example, the man said that he could share the mortgage payment with the OP. In general, the couple agreed that they would go to a lawyer and complete all the paperwork.
Image source: DojaDog677
At the lawyer’s, the OP’s fiancé handed her his own “lucky pen”, which turned out to be empty
And so, just before entering the lawyer’s office, the OP’s fiancé handed her his “lucky pen” to sign the documents. She was a bit surprised, but she took the pen. And at the very moment when the woman was about to put her signature, it turned out that the pen was empty.
Image source: DojaDog677
The man kept handing her pens but every one turned out empty and it looked really weird
“Don’t worry!” said her fiancé, pulling out a second pen. But that one was empty as well. The lawyer stared blankly at what was happening, while the giggling man held out a third pen to the OP – also empty, as you might guess.
Image source: DojaDog677
Finally, the man told her that he played a joke on her, but the OP felt outraged and refused to sign anything
The OP felt devastated and humiliated in front of the lawyer, so when her fiancé admitted that he was just playing a joke on her by pulling out another – finally normal – pen, the woman simply pushed the papers away from her, saying that she did not want to sign anything anymore.
Image source: Dennis Jarvis (not the actual photo)
The man tried to calm her down, but the OP was adamant, saying that a lawyer’s office is not the place for pranks. When they arrived home, the fiancé decided to be offended and said that the OP simply did not appreciate the prank, and in general was just looking for an excuse to not have him on the deed. As a result, the man started the silent treatment until the papers are finally signed.
Commenters told the OP that her fiancé’s behavior looks like just one huge red flag
However, the prank was not appreciated by the people in the comments either. Firstly, they agreed that childishness is inappropriate in such serious situations, and secondly, that everything looks suspicious overall. According to commenters, all the man’s behavior in this situation is just one huge red flag.
In general, many commenters advised the OP to sign a pre-nup with her future husband and not have him on the deed of a house to which he has contributed absolutely nothing. A good person, according to commenters, will not expect their future spouse to enter their name there, and even more so – to demand it. In general, the OP should take a closer look at the man with whom she is going to start a family.
By the way, the commenters are largely right, and the situation when spouses do not include each other in the share of their houses is very common. For example, you can also read this post of ours about how this woman, before she passed away, transferred her house to her daughter, and the father fully agreed with this. But first, please write what you think about this very story.
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Don't put his name on the house. I'd go further and say run for your life! Don't marry him, get rid of him now.
Right. Could you imagine making a life decision this big and having to deal with the maturity of a 9 year old? In front of other, serious adults? How embarrassing.
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The house in my family was always handed down only in the females name. My granddad built it but it was in my grandma's name and then my mum's. I have big respect of him doing that. And sure enough my parents got divorced.
I love this. I always wondered why engagement and wedding rings are handed down to the sons. Many get divorced and then there's the big ordeal of getting it back. Totally off topic, but I digress.
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As a married man who started buying my home before I was married, I didn't add my wife to the title until 4 years after we were married and had been together for 10 years total. If he's insisting on it before the marriage even happens, his motives are not pure. I wouldn't be surprised if he has a debt with the government or something else that he needs an asset to cover, or if he intends to then leave you and force the home to be sold. Practical jokes are fun and all, but there's a time and place for everything. If it 37 he hasn't learned that, you're in for a very frustrating marriage because there's other stuff he's hiding
Put it in trust. You can't sell half a house, and the trust protects your interests from any debt he might run up.
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He's trying to assert male dominance. He doesn't like the fact that she has more assets than him. By taking the alpha male control by doing the prank and belittling her he gets the "upper hand". He needs to grow up and contribute to the finances.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, comes to mind here.
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You were willing to put him on the deed before you'd even said your vows. Wow, that's not very smart. There was a guy in England that had done that with his fiance...after things were signed, she made him out to be abusive and crazy, got him arrested, sold all of his assets and disappeared. He lost his job over the arrest and now he's ruined. Don't get suckered and kick him to the curb. He's after your money, honey.
Oh my sweet sweet girl, what are you doing? Are you seriously putting a boyfriends name on the bloody deed of the house Your mum left you. I'm sorry, you need a guardian! This is so wrong, on so many levels that I'm not even sure it could be real. Unless you are legally married, with a licence you do not write a man's name on the house deed. Engagement or not, it doesn't mean anything until marriage licence. But hey if you write the name now, he can leave you before wedding and you can bet you won't have a house. You are the a*****e to even agree to sign the paper. He is definitely bigger a*****e, manipulative, and immature. Not a single man would make this prank or ask anything before wedding. I want to shake you! but seriously you know it's wrong and you still go with it. This is peer pressure, it's immature. I'd even say prenup after prank. I'd call off the relationship all together, after all we marry for love not finances, so prenup shouldn't be an issue. NTA
She is grieving, so vulnerable, not completely anxious, it is what he used to suppress her. I saw my mother in such situation a few weeks after my father died. I was a guard child when. This gal needs guard!
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Putting his name on the house never matters if you actually marry. For inheritance, he’d get it tax free if you die anyway, for insurance it doesn’t matter if you’re married. No reason for his name to go on it if he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. NTA.
I guess it depends on where you are. Here in Germany there's a value cutoff up to which you can inherit something without tax, for anything more you do have to pay taxes. The cutoff depends on your relation to the deceased; spouses and children can inherit the highest amount without having to pay taxes. So while being married does reduce the taxes payed on inheritance, it's still better to actually *own* part of the house.
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When I was a grocery cashier in the US, one of my regular customers was an older lady, maybe my mother's age, who owned her own dog grooming/training/breeding business. One day, she shows up looking utterly destroyed. Turned out that her husband of 30 plus years had fallen in love with his secretary, who was barely older than their youngest daughter, and he wanted a divorce. My customer showed up again a couple weeks later, looking much happier. The lawyers sat down for a meeting on division of assets. His lawyers tried to insist that she sell her business, and give him half the proceeds. Her lawyers said, "Not so fast. Look at the incorporation paperwork. It's all in her maiden name, and she had the business for several years *before* they got married. She doesn't 'owe' him a cent." The courts ultimately agreed, she kept the business as her sole property after the divorce, and she wasn't required to give him any of her profit from the business.
Also, he'd wanted to have a big shindig with their three adult kids and their spouses, to announce the divorce and to introduce the new #2. He seemed to expect that all their kids would say, "Woohoo, Dad! You've still got it! You're such a stud!" and he was genuinely surprised when all three of his kids, and their spouses, walked out in disgust when he announced the divorce--after telling him exactly what they thought of him first.
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NTA. Don't do it. It's your mother's house, it has nothing to do with him. Don't put yourself in such a vulnerable position. And it's not because of a prank. it's basically because of everything else - him pressuring you to sign over a part of your property to him, giving you silent treatment when you changed your mind.
I have been married for 39 years ( married young) I recently inherited money and land . My husband said that it was mine and he didn't want it to be put in his name. I felt that after this many years it should be both of ours, but that's my choice he said. Your fiance should have had the same response. He has absolutely no claim to any of it PERIOD. Just my advice, but I would absolutely not put him on the deed, ever. For him to even ask you is completely inappropriate. He is looking at this as his own personal payday. Not right at all. Please before you decide on anything speak with a divorce attorney or a prenuptial attorney. I am actually shocked that he has any expectations in this whole matter. It looks to me that he already has plans for his escape down the road. I am truly sorry that you are in these circumstances. Someone that truly loved you wouldn't care at all about the house or anything else that is yours prior to the marriage. This whole situation seems extremely fishy to me.
Don't marry him. Don't give him half that deed. Just keep it to yourself an the sanity of escaping a practical joker who likes to humiliate you will be worth it.
Keep your house - you earned it. Don't marry this property-hungry man-child!
I liked the idea of telling him that you were pranking him when you said you were going to add his name to the deed then , when he gets mad, ask him if he can't take a joke
The laws here depend on the country. U.K. prenup counts for zilch, U.S. prenup counts. In either case, you must protect your inheritance. Would he do the same for you if it was his.house? I somehow doubt it. Get a lawyer (quietly) to explain your options and advise you.
DO NOT marry this man! I stupidly married someone like your fiancée. He also froze me out every time I refused to give in to his demands. I know you can see that you’ve made a mistake but might be too embarrassed to admit it right now., but trust me, it is never going to get better, and you will end up losing that house when the divorce comes. Keep your house and dump that guy.
Honestly, you aren't even married yet. It is unbelievably unreasonable for him to be added to the deed. If you are concerned about the fairness of him contributing to the mortgage without ownership, then let him share all the bills, which will help you both out, and the two of you can have a separate savings account in which you place what he would have contributed to the house. If you separate, split that account on the basis of how much of the mortgage payment goes on interest, and how much on paying off the principal. This would be fair. Pressuring you to add him to the deed is the mark of a scam-artist. Pranking you without considering your feelings, emotionally blackmailing you, and giving you the silent treatment, are all signs of an abusive personality, and you should seriously consider if you want to live with this, and worse, for the rest of your life. Loneliness and loss are not a good reason to marry someone, or to allow them to financially abuse you.
IANAL, but I do know that inheritances are separate property only as long as you keep it SEPARATE. Adding him to title gives him a significant share of your inheritance (which may vary depending how you add him to title and where you live). I think he's shown an alarming level of entitlement, and you might want to reconsider whether you should marry him.
Dodge this bullet. He's literally warning you about the person he is.
NTA OP.. I agree with the majority of commenters who have said you should not do it. Instead of paying half the mortgage because he owns half the house, he could give money like someone who lives somewhere would pay rent. Also, he is a man child. Pranks are funny on April Fool's Day. His 'lucky pens' saved you this time.
Please keep that house in your name until you are at least married. If he's putting that much pressure on you now, Id worry about any future with him. I think putting it into a trust would be safer. If you want him to contribute his share to costs as you ate living together, and he doesnt want to put it into your house, then maybe you should charge him his share as 'rent' - at market value. He'd be paying that if he didnt live with you
He treats her like she already loose all her rights for the property! Run? Run! He use her grief to manipulate her, because people in such state unbelievably easy to manipulate. Do not marry him, he will treat you even worse.
I think it’s suspicious that he wants half your property so badly. If you break up and he’s got his name on the deed, he gets half the value of the home. I don’t think he’s trustworthy. Get a prenup! Keep your home and don’t share it. He’s not acting right.
I really feel like his true colors are showing. Very juvenile to prank you at a very important and serious time. Protect yourself, this isn't going to get better. No title for him!
Dump this guy! He's a grifter looking to gain your property after you marry, possibly by *MURDER*!!!
Yta- why on earth would she think someone should pay for a house they don’t own ? Couldn’t be me. Either it’s our house or it’s your responsibility. And it sounds like a fun little joke. She could lighten up
If she really needed the help with the mortgage payment, then a solution that could protect everyone is to allow him to purchase half of the value and create a note he must pay per month.
When I married my husband he already had bought a home, I never even asked him to put my name on the deed, I felt we were married and that was my home as well, I didn’t need my name on the deed for me to contribute to the house for it to feel like home.
Well, I think the commenters blew things up to paranoid levels. She says he has a long standing habit of pranking, so this was not some out of the blue, mean act to humiliate her at the title office. Also, if they're marrying AND she's expecting him to start paying a chunk of her mortgage, it's not exactly predatory that he wants his name on the property he's paying for. If she wants it solely in her name and all that, more power to her---but he shouldn't be paying towards the mortgage in that case. So either it's put in a trust and she pays her mortgage herself, they both go on the deed and split the payments together, or there's a prenup which states that in the event if a divorce, he gets X amount of money or an extra % of the shared assets in compensation for the chunk of money he paid into her house and doesn't get to keep. However, she doesn't seem to like him all that much, so they should spilt up regardless.
I pranked my wife, once, while we were dating, long before our relationship got serious. It was in front of her best friends who thought it was hilarious. Afterwards, she told me how humiliated she felt. I've never pranked her since. We've been married for 33 years. If this man won't respect you, I suggest you think long and hard about the future.
Pranks are never funny to anyone but the prankster. OP as the victim found that out.
You cannot inherited a house that has a mortgage on it. It belongs to the bank really and has to be sold and any money left after bank gets their money would be inherited but not the house itself. Only a mortgage free home could be inherited. This story is phony
That is not at all correct. My sister inherited grandmas house and just has to continue to pay the mortgage
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I'm trying to figure out how the comments would be if the gender roles were reversed. Oh, I know, there wouldn't even BE a story, because this would be business as usual, just like it has been for the last 50 years. You wanted equality, Here you go.
In the US a spouse can not touch inherited property if there’s a divorce. Unless you put the spouse on the deed. So don’t. If you put him on there and he uses is for loans or what have you, you will lose it.
1. He is very immature. 2. He uses guilt and bullying to manipulate you. Both are red flags. If it were me I wouldn't even marry him. Kick him to the curb for your own safety.
Do not put his name on that house he is pushing too hard there's a reason behind it a marriage does not a guarantee he will always be there your mother guaranteed that you had a home to keep you safe it was her way of securing something for your future do not give him that let his parents give him a house or let him go by his own that one's yours and I would have a prenuptial agreement saying that he can't make you sell that house that's yours I know you feel like you need to but do not do it
Do not put his name on that title he is pushing way too hard and there's a reason behind that marriage is not a guarantee your mother left you that for your security don't hand it to someone else let him buy his own house or let his parents give him his own house that one's yours you owe him nothing
Don't. Just don't. Don't sign over your property. Don't marry the git. Do: Consider everything that is weird about the whole business. E.g.: How exactly would having the deed in his name make it "possible to contribute more to the mortgage"??? Anyone who knows you has the "opportunity" to help with your mortgage. I may not have the money or a reason but theoretically I could send you a check if I wanted to because no-one needs to have their name on ownership papers to give money for something. He's living in the house, so he should pay his fair share of the monthly bill.
I fully agree with everyone: DO NOT PUT HIM ON THE DEED! YOU would regret it for the rest of your life. And, DO NOT, repeat, Do NOT marry him! He is Bad News! Dump him Before you make that Mistake. PLEASE!
Don't get married to someone you have such reservations about. The house thing is a clear indication you have not found the right partner. When you find the right one, I agree with the husband's opinion; it should be automatic. Too many of you marry strange people. What you lack in obvious foresight will strike you as pitiful hindsight. My thing is, I don't think the husband is a bad guy for his actions. From my perspective, the red flag is your doubt in the first place. It doesn't make you wrong or anything like that, other than maybe you didn't select quite the appropriate partner for a person like yourself. Being as old as you are though, you should have a better idea of what marriage material looks like. You obviously do not trust your chosen partner. Why would you marry him? To be fair, I cannot imagine my wife being that way toward me. I have a more old-school view of marriage, that's kind of funny to say though. It's not like it ever really changed.
You sound ridiculous her parents worked their whole lives to give her that, it's not for someone else to take half. 70 to 80 percentage of marriages end in divorced. Especially at 40. Your viewpoint works with fine with teenager that don't have asset . I have two kids and when I die they will each have a paid off house. They will be in a trust where both need to sign off to sell. The fiance should have his own house at 40. He is a bad guy for trying to push it when her mom just died. Plus a good lawyer would get thrown out she just has to show she was underdress when she signed. Later in life you keep what you came in with and what you build together is yours. I am old school I paid all the bill when I was married and she paid for extras and stuff like fun vacations.
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Don't put his name on the deed. But don't expect him to pay the mortgage either.
My husband would never ask for my inheritance. Don't trust anyone who does. This man is bad news, you should have just stayed friends or not anything at all. You should honestly leave him. And enjoy your inherited home and start a new life with someone who respects you and your worth. Keep that house in your family not anyone else's.
Look, he can live there but there is no reason to have him signing those papers, he can help paying the bills. I have my house and I won't share the property with anyone else, and I wouldn't expect anything different from my s.o.
So first of all, I agree that this particular man should not be on the title. But I recall reading many posts telling women they SHOULD be on the man's property title if they are paying part of the mortgage and expenses. So which is it?
But this couple do not married yet, and he didn't pay a cent yet. Answer really depends on situation, not gender. If so.an acting this way toward man, same people will say the same:" red alert, run"
Load More Replies... Maybe she needs to grow up and get a sense of humor. It was a stupid prank. This marriage is doomed if she can't handle that. Also, marriage is about uniting 2 lives, she is unwilling to join in that by putting his name on their home. My advice is for him to run not walk from her selfishness.
Sounds a bit iffy but if he contributes to the mortgage, he should have his name on the deed (with his share of ownership proportionate to his contribution).
Marry, contribute, take a title Not : take a title with blurry promise
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Definitely both are TA. Him for being a prick about the whole thing and her for posting this nonsense. I'm betting the underwear I'm wearing right now will last longer than this marriage. Man I hate these stupid AIMTA posts! Edit: I love when people get downvoted for calling OP for their c**p! She's not looking for advice, she airing out her dirty laundry. If OP is still going to marry this jerk, a bunch strangers telling her not isn't going to change her mind!
Oh man I'm gonna be unpopular in internet land but hear me out.I absolutely support separation of assets prior to a legally binding marriage and in many instances post marriage. But, ignoring all my preconceived opinions, if OP decided to do this and then balked because of a poorly timed (and it was poorly) joke, I cant put all the blame on him. People dont have single instances of bad humor/behavior. So either this is the norm and she should have known his personality or it's completely random and...well to be honest I don't buy that it is. There is alot of assumption his bad joke is a red flag he is a horrible person/partner but wanting joint ownership may have been his way of securing his future. I'm not sure everyone would take the separatist stance of it was reversed. But having a tantrum at the signing is inappropriate for her and him.
What do you mean "wanting joint ownership may have been his way of securing his future"? Like, wanting half of what she owns for himself to aquire wealth? That's not how a normal, decent person "secures ones future".
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I disagree (I didn't down vote you though). Nothing in the post sounds anything like ASD to me. He is controlling, and I guess the pranking might be because he enjoys humiliating her. ASD does not mean being immature. I teach teens with ASD who are also emotionally immature - in my experience most ASD teens are not emotionally immature, but they can access main stream with help - I teach those who can't. Sure, it is a spectrum so it's hard to generalise, but nothing about the OP suggests ASD to me, and I think I have enough experience to say this man's behaviour not consistent with any level of autism.
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Don't put his name on the house. I'd go further and say run for your life! Don't marry him, get rid of him now.
Right. Could you imagine making a life decision this big and having to deal with the maturity of a 9 year old? In front of other, serious adults? How embarrassing.
Load More Replies... The house in my family was always handed down only in the females name. My granddad built it but it was in my grandma's name and then my mum's. I have big respect of him doing that. And sure enough my parents got divorced.
I love this. I always wondered why engagement and wedding rings are handed down to the sons. Many get divorced and then there's the big ordeal of getting it back. Totally off topic, but I digress.
Load More Replies... As a married man who started buying my home before I was married, I didn't add my wife to the title until 4 years after we were married and had been together for 10 years total. If he's insisting on it before the marriage even happens, his motives are not pure. I wouldn't be surprised if he has a debt with the government or something else that he needs an asset to cover, or if he intends to then leave you and force the home to be sold. Practical jokes are fun and all, but there's a time and place for everything. If it 37 he hasn't learned that, you're in for a very frustrating marriage because there's other stuff he's hiding
Put it in trust. You can't sell half a house, and the trust protects your interests from any debt he might run up.
Load More Replies... He's trying to assert male dominance. He doesn't like the fact that she has more assets than him. By taking the alpha male control by doing the prank and belittling her he gets the "upper hand". He needs to grow up and contribute to the finances.
Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, comes to mind here.
Load More Replies... You were willing to put him on the deed before you'd even said your vows. Wow, that's not very smart. There was a guy in England that had done that with his fiance...after things were signed, she made him out to be abusive and crazy, got him arrested, sold all of his assets and disappeared. He lost his job over the arrest and now he's ruined. Don't get suckered and kick him to the curb. He's after your money, honey.
Oh my sweet sweet girl, what are you doing? Are you seriously putting a boyfriends name on the bloody deed of the house Your mum left you. I'm sorry, you need a guardian! This is so wrong, on so many levels that I'm not even sure it could be real. Unless you are legally married, with a licence you do not write a man's name on the house deed. Engagement or not, it doesn't mean anything until marriage licence. But hey if you write the name now, he can leave you before wedding and you can bet you won't have a house. You are the a*****e to even agree to sign the paper. He is definitely bigger a*****e, manipulative, and immature. Not a single man would make this prank or ask anything before wedding. I want to shake you! but seriously you know it's wrong and you still go with it. This is peer pressure, it's immature. I'd even say prenup after prank. I'd call off the relationship all together, after all we marry for love not finances, so prenup shouldn't be an issue. NTA
She is grieving, so vulnerable, not completely anxious, it is what he used to suppress her. I saw my mother in such situation a few weeks after my father died. I was a guard child when. This gal needs guard!
Load More Replies... Putting his name on the house never matters if you actually marry. For inheritance, he’d get it tax free if you die anyway, for insurance it doesn’t matter if you’re married. No reason for his name to go on it if he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. NTA.
I guess it depends on where you are. Here in Germany there's a value cutoff up to which you can inherit something without tax, for anything more you do have to pay taxes. The cutoff depends on your relation to the deceased; spouses and children can inherit the highest amount without having to pay taxes. So while being married does reduce the taxes payed on inheritance, it's still better to actually *own* part of the house.
Load More Replies... When I was a grocery cashier in the US, one of my regular customers was an older lady, maybe my mother's age, who owned her own dog grooming/training/breeding business. One day, she shows up looking utterly destroyed. Turned out that her husband of 30 plus years had fallen in love with his secretary, who was barely older than their youngest daughter, and he wanted a divorce. My customer showed up again a couple weeks later, looking much happier. The lawyers sat down for a meeting on division of assets. His lawyers tried to insist that she sell her business, and give him half the proceeds. Her lawyers said, "Not so fast. Look at the incorporation paperwork. It's all in her maiden name, and she had the business for several years *before* they got married. She doesn't 'owe' him a cent." The courts ultimately agreed, she kept the business as her sole property after the divorce, and she wasn't required to give him any of her profit from the business.
Also, he'd wanted to have a big shindig with their three adult kids and their spouses, to announce the divorce and to introduce the new #2. He seemed to expect that all their kids would say, "Woohoo, Dad! You've still got it! You're such a stud!" and he was genuinely surprised when all three of his kids, and their spouses, walked out in disgust when he announced the divorce--after telling him exactly what they thought of him first.
Load More Replies... NTA. Don't do it. It's your mother's house, it has nothing to do with him. Don't put yourself in such a vulnerable position. And it's not because of a prank. it's basically because of everything else - him pressuring you to sign over a part of your property to him, giving you silent treatment when you changed your mind.
I have been married for 39 years ( married young) I recently inherited money and land . My husband said that it was mine and he didn't want it to be put in his name. I felt that after this many years it should be both of ours, but that's my choice he said. Your fiance should have had the same response. He has absolutely no claim to any of it PERIOD. Just my advice, but I would absolutely not put him on the deed, ever. For him to even ask you is completely inappropriate. He is looking at this as his own personal payday. Not right at all. Please before you decide on anything speak with a divorce attorney or a prenuptial attorney. I am actually shocked that he has any expectations in this whole matter. It looks to me that he already has plans for his escape down the road. I am truly sorry that you are in these circumstances. Someone that truly loved you wouldn't care at all about the house or anything else that is yours prior to the marriage. This whole situation seems extremely fishy to me.
Don't marry him. Don't give him half that deed. Just keep it to yourself an the sanity of escaping a practical joker who likes to humiliate you will be worth it.
Keep your house - you earned it. Don't marry this property-hungry man-child!
I liked the idea of telling him that you were pranking him when you said you were going to add his name to the deed then , when he gets mad, ask him if he can't take a joke
The laws here depend on the country. U.K. prenup counts for zilch, U.S. prenup counts. In either case, you must protect your inheritance. Would he do the same for you if it was his.house? I somehow doubt it. Get a lawyer (quietly) to explain your options and advise you.
DO NOT marry this man! I stupidly married someone like your fiancée. He also froze me out every time I refused to give in to his demands. I know you can see that you’ve made a mistake but might be too embarrassed to admit it right now., but trust me, it is never going to get better, and you will end up losing that house when the divorce comes. Keep your house and dump that guy.
Honestly, you aren't even married yet. It is unbelievably unreasonable for him to be added to the deed. If you are concerned about the fairness of him contributing to the mortgage without ownership, then let him share all the bills, which will help you both out, and the two of you can have a separate savings account in which you place what he would have contributed to the house. If you separate, split that account on the basis of how much of the mortgage payment goes on interest, and how much on paying off the principal. This would be fair. Pressuring you to add him to the deed is the mark of a scam-artist. Pranking you without considering your feelings, emotionally blackmailing you, and giving you the silent treatment, are all signs of an abusive personality, and you should seriously consider if you want to live with this, and worse, for the rest of your life. Loneliness and loss are not a good reason to marry someone, or to allow them to financially abuse you.
IANAL, but I do know that inheritances are separate property only as long as you keep it SEPARATE. Adding him to title gives him a significant share of your inheritance (which may vary depending how you add him to title and where you live). I think he's shown an alarming level of entitlement, and you might want to reconsider whether you should marry him.
Dodge this bullet. He's literally warning you about the person he is.
NTA OP.. I agree with the majority of commenters who have said you should not do it. Instead of paying half the mortgage because he owns half the house, he could give money like someone who lives somewhere would pay rent. Also, he is a man child. Pranks are funny on April Fool's Day. His 'lucky pens' saved you this time.
Please keep that house in your name until you are at least married. If he's putting that much pressure on you now, Id worry about any future with him. I think putting it into a trust would be safer. If you want him to contribute his share to costs as you ate living together, and he doesnt want to put it into your house, then maybe you should charge him his share as 'rent' - at market value. He'd be paying that if he didnt live with you
He treats her like she already loose all her rights for the property! Run? Run! He use her grief to manipulate her, because people in such state unbelievably easy to manipulate. Do not marry him, he will treat you even worse.
I think it’s suspicious that he wants half your property so badly. If you break up and he’s got his name on the deed, he gets half the value of the home. I don’t think he’s trustworthy. Get a prenup! Keep your home and don’t share it. He’s not acting right.
I really feel like his true colors are showing. Very juvenile to prank you at a very important and serious time. Protect yourself, this isn't going to get better. No title for him!
Dump this guy! He's a grifter looking to gain your property after you marry, possibly by *MURDER*!!!
Yta- why on earth would she think someone should pay for a house they don’t own ? Couldn’t be me. Either it’s our house or it’s your responsibility. And it sounds like a fun little joke. She could lighten up
If she really needed the help with the mortgage payment, then a solution that could protect everyone is to allow him to purchase half of the value and create a note he must pay per month.
When I married my husband he already had bought a home, I never even asked him to put my name on the deed, I felt we were married and that was my home as well, I didn’t need my name on the deed for me to contribute to the house for it to feel like home.
Well, I think the commenters blew things up to paranoid levels. She says he has a long standing habit of pranking, so this was not some out of the blue, mean act to humiliate her at the title office. Also, if they're marrying AND she's expecting him to start paying a chunk of her mortgage, it's not exactly predatory that he wants his name on the property he's paying for. If she wants it solely in her name and all that, more power to her---but he shouldn't be paying towards the mortgage in that case. So either it's put in a trust and she pays her mortgage herself, they both go on the deed and split the payments together, or there's a prenup which states that in the event if a divorce, he gets X amount of money or an extra % of the shared assets in compensation for the chunk of money he paid into her house and doesn't get to keep. However, she doesn't seem to like him all that much, so they should spilt up regardless.
I pranked my wife, once, while we were dating, long before our relationship got serious. It was in front of her best friends who thought it was hilarious. Afterwards, she told me how humiliated she felt. I've never pranked her since. We've been married for 33 years. If this man won't respect you, I suggest you think long and hard about the future.
Pranks are never funny to anyone but the prankster. OP as the victim found that out.
You cannot inherited a house that has a mortgage on it. It belongs to the bank really and has to be sold and any money left after bank gets their money would be inherited but not the house itself. Only a mortgage free home could be inherited. This story is phony
That is not at all correct. My sister inherited grandmas house and just has to continue to pay the mortgage
Load More Replies... I'm trying to figure out how the comments would be if the gender roles were reversed. Oh, I know, there wouldn't even BE a story, because this would be business as usual, just like it has been for the last 50 years. You wanted equality, Here you go.
In the US a spouse can not touch inherited property if there’s a divorce. Unless you put the spouse on the deed. So don’t. If you put him on there and he uses is for loans or what have you, you will lose it.
1. He is very immature. 2. He uses guilt and bullying to manipulate you. Both are red flags. If it were me I wouldn't even marry him. Kick him to the curb for your own safety.
Do not put his name on that house he is pushing too hard there's a reason behind it a marriage does not a guarantee he will always be there your mother guaranteed that you had a home to keep you safe it was her way of securing something for your future do not give him that let his parents give him a house or let him go by his own that one's yours and I would have a prenuptial agreement saying that he can't make you sell that house that's yours I know you feel like you need to but do not do it
Do not put his name on that title he is pushing way too hard and there's a reason behind that marriage is not a guarantee your mother left you that for your security don't hand it to someone else let him buy his own house or let his parents give him his own house that one's yours you owe him nothing
Don't. Just don't. Don't sign over your property. Don't marry the git. Do: Consider everything that is weird about the whole business. E.g.: How exactly would having the deed in his name make it "possible to contribute more to the mortgage"??? Anyone who knows you has the "opportunity" to help with your mortgage. I may not have the money or a reason but theoretically I could send you a check if I wanted to because no-one needs to have their name on ownership papers to give money for something. He's living in the house, so he should pay his fair share of the monthly bill.
I fully agree with everyone: DO NOT PUT HIM ON THE DEED! YOU would regret it for the rest of your life. And, DO NOT, repeat, Do NOT marry him! He is Bad News! Dump him Before you make that Mistake. PLEASE!
Don't get married to someone you have such reservations about. The house thing is a clear indication you have not found the right partner. When you find the right one, I agree with the husband's opinion; it should be automatic. Too many of you marry strange people. What you lack in obvious foresight will strike you as pitiful hindsight. My thing is, I don't think the husband is a bad guy for his actions. From my perspective, the red flag is your doubt in the first place. It doesn't make you wrong or anything like that, other than maybe you didn't select quite the appropriate partner for a person like yourself. Being as old as you are though, you should have a better idea of what marriage material looks like. You obviously do not trust your chosen partner. Why would you marry him? To be fair, I cannot imagine my wife being that way toward me. I have a more old-school view of marriage, that's kind of funny to say though. It's not like it ever really changed.
You sound ridiculous her parents worked their whole lives to give her that, it's not for someone else to take half. 70 to 80 percentage of marriages end in divorced. Especially at 40. Your viewpoint works with fine with teenager that don't have asset . I have two kids and when I die they will each have a paid off house. They will be in a trust where both need to sign off to sell. The fiance should have his own house at 40. He is a bad guy for trying to push it when her mom just died. Plus a good lawyer would get thrown out she just has to show she was underdress when she signed. Later in life you keep what you came in with and what you build together is yours. I am old school I paid all the bill when I was married and she paid for extras and stuff like fun vacations.
Load More Replies... Don't put his name on the deed. But don't expect him to pay the mortgage either.
My husband would never ask for my inheritance. Don't trust anyone who does. This man is bad news, you should have just stayed friends or not anything at all. You should honestly leave him. And enjoy your inherited home and start a new life with someone who respects you and your worth. Keep that house in your family not anyone else's.
Look, he can live there but there is no reason to have him signing those papers, he can help paying the bills. I have my house and I won't share the property with anyone else, and I wouldn't expect anything different from my s.o.
So first of all, I agree that this particular man should not be on the title. But I recall reading many posts telling women they SHOULD be on the man's property title if they are paying part of the mortgage and expenses. So which is it?
But this couple do not married yet, and he didn't pay a cent yet. Answer really depends on situation, not gender. If so.an acting this way toward man, same people will say the same:" red alert, run"
Load More Replies... Maybe she needs to grow up and get a sense of humor. It was a stupid prank. This marriage is doomed if she can't handle that. Also, marriage is about uniting 2 lives, she is unwilling to join in that by putting his name on their home. My advice is for him to run not walk from her selfishness.
Sounds a bit iffy but if he contributes to the mortgage, he should have his name on the deed (with his share of ownership proportionate to his contribution).
Marry, contribute, take a title Not : take a title with blurry promise
Load More Replies... Definitely both are TA. Him for being a prick about the whole thing and her for posting this nonsense. I'm betting the underwear I'm wearing right now will last longer than this marriage. Man I hate these stupid AIMTA posts! Edit: I love when people get downvoted for calling OP for their c**p! She's not looking for advice, she airing out her dirty laundry. If OP is still going to marry this jerk, a bunch strangers telling her not isn't going to change her mind!
Oh man I'm gonna be unpopular in internet land but hear me out.I absolutely support separation of assets prior to a legally binding marriage and in many instances post marriage. But, ignoring all my preconceived opinions, if OP decided to do this and then balked because of a poorly timed (and it was poorly) joke, I cant put all the blame on him. People dont have single instances of bad humor/behavior. So either this is the norm and she should have known his personality or it's completely random and...well to be honest I don't buy that it is. There is alot of assumption his bad joke is a red flag he is a horrible person/partner but wanting joint ownership may have been his way of securing his future. I'm not sure everyone would take the separatist stance of it was reversed. But having a tantrum at the signing is inappropriate for her and him.
What do you mean "wanting joint ownership may have been his way of securing his future"? Like, wanting half of what she owns for himself to aquire wealth? That's not how a normal, decent person "secures ones future".
Load More Replies... I disagree (I didn't down vote you though). Nothing in the post sounds anything like ASD to me. He is controlling, and I guess the pranking might be because he enjoys humiliating her. ASD does not mean being immature. I teach teens with ASD who are also emotionally immature - in my experience most ASD teens are not emotionally immature, but they can access main stream with help - I teach those who can't. Sure, it is a spectrum so it's hard to generalise, but nothing about the OP suggests ASD to me, and I think I have enough experience to say this man's behaviour not consistent with any level of autism.
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