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Man Lets Out An Indoor Cat He Hates “Probably Hoping For Her To Get Lost”, Fiancée Goes Off At Him In Front Of His Whole Family
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Man Lets Out An Indoor Cat He Hates “Probably Hoping For Her To Get Lost”, Fiancée Goes Off At Him In Front Of His Whole Family

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Recently, a frustrated 35-year-old woman shared an incident on Ask Reddit asking people for advice to see if she was right in an argument with her fiance. Just two months ago, she moved in with her fiance and it was going well until “he started complaining about Zoey’s cat.” Zoey is the author’s 13-year-old teen daughter, whose cat “is so sweet and quiet most of the time and so I had no idea what the issue was exactly.”

One day, the woman got a call from Zoey, in tears, who said the cat was not in the room nor anywhere in the house. This was unusual because she’s an indoor cat and the family never lets her out.

The author and her daughter searched for the cat everywhere, but when the neighbor told her he saw her fiance carrying the cat outside, it was the last straw. Read on below to see how the story evolved.

The woman wants to know if she went too far by blowing up at her future husband in front of his family after he tried to get rid of her daughter’s indoor cat

Image credits: throwaway0999099




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Image credits: Adam Nieścioruk (not the actual photo)

“In spite of cats being natural born hunters, a cat who has lived indoors its whole life, may not be able to find enough food,” Molly DeVoss, a certified feline training, and behavior specialist who runs Cat Behavior Solutions agency told Bored Panda in a request to comment on the incident.

“Additionally, a life outdoors is a sentence for a shorter life; there are so many dangers cats encounter outside. Hit by cars, disease, injury, fights, harm from humans not wanting them in their yard, are just a few of the dangers an outdoor cat faces,” DeVoss explained.


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“In my personal opinion, she didn’t choose a potential husband with the same value system as she has – and that’s always a recipe for disaster,” cat behaviorist said and added that “Our pets are our family too, and we owe it to them to align ourselves with others who feel the same.”

Many showed their support for the author and warned her about thinking of staying with a person like him







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jamie_mayfield avatar
Ivana
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother married an abusive alcoholic who kicked my sister out and my cat out of the house. My cat got ran over and my sister got raped by the family member she was forced to live with when she was 12. So don't marry that man is all I'm saying. My mother's husband cracked my skull open when I was 11 and I woke up a week later in the ICU and was thrilled to find out he bolted to avoid being arrested for almost killing me. I remember looking at my mom as she updated me on what happened, and I smiled at her and told her "Worth it". I don't talk to my mother much.

angelanagel avatar
Yoga Kitty
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, harm one of my cats and you will sit outside on your fªnny in under one minute - and then run for the hills and be glad that nothing worse happened to you...

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same, except I like the comment “I’ve seen the cat, the man should be composted”, so I would probably follow that route. Me: “Uh gee, I don’t know where he is. He just left in a huff one day and never came back.” Friend: “Wow! What a beautiful garden! What’s your secret?” Me: “Oh, I compost”.

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rozkay avatar
Roz Klaiman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Animal abusers are dangerous and will and DO abuse anyone and anything they consider vulnerable, her future looks very scary.

abigailrose_1 avatar
Wysteria_Rose
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So my husband isn't really a "cat person" (though she sometimes acts like he's the one who bought her out of the pound but whatever) but he would NEVER let her out on purpose. She has no claws (she was found that way as a stray) and any time she even tries to escape past us, he ALWAYS goes after her and brings her in. Because a good person doesn't allow anyone's pets that they care about to get hurt because they know that will be just awful for the pet owner. Throw that whole person out and use the wedding money on buying the cat more treats.

lisah255 avatar
LH25
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"How he expects things to change after we get married"?! That would have been a deal-breaker long before his reprehensible actions with that poor cat. What he expects? Not talking to her about what they as a couple want?

leasaymmoore avatar
notnow
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He probably let that slip out "/How he expects things to change...." He was holding on to that one until after he married her as in "You're married to me now, so suck it up buttercup"

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lisahewes avatar
Lisa H
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone who thinks they can treat me or my family like that (pets included, they are family too, no exceptions), there's the door. Oh, can't find the door? Here, let me use your face to help you.

creaturecargeaux avatar
Creature Cargeaux
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've learned that any person who doesn't like animals or at the very least respect them... are s**t partners. Exile them. Anyone who would do this to a child & an animal deserves an a*s whooping.

juliechute avatar
Hoodoo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." - M Angelou. OP's fortunate actually- she got a sneak preview o what she & her child are in for if she is yoked to this mess long-term. Kudos to OP for putting this out there in front of his family. Reality is uncomfortable at times & I sincerely hope OP doesn't continue to delude herself bout this abuser.

mim8209 avatar
MimSorensson
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How horrifically cruel. Like a nasty child who don’t understand that hurting others is immoral. I’m ashamed to say I might have lost it to such a degree as to hurt the motherfùcker. Don’t mess with my cats, man. I don’t condone violence, but if you mess with my cats, I’ll have your head. Holy heck, I’d have instantly passed through anger and gone straight into rage. I’ve got a very soft spot for my cats - they can’t defend themselves, so that’s my job. This self centred, underhanded piece of shìt isn’t much of a keeper, I’d say.

kleski-paula avatar
Pollywog
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You wanna mess with my kids?? I would've taken him out to the middle of nowhere, no cell coverage and dropped him off and let him figure it out on his own!!!

kesti-nielsen avatar
TheElderNom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is one thing to have a discussion about pets but this is not that. My boyfriend moved in with me and my cats and since then we've agreed to keep the bedroom door closed during the day to make things less hairy. The guest bedroom/office was also off limits to the cats since he wanted a cat free room. Mainly he doesn't want them on the desk. But after my older cat needed special food she has it in there with a cat flap so only she can get in since that's the only way to prevent the other cat from gorging on food that wouldn't be good for him. He honestly would prefer to only have the older cat since she's a proper little lady whereas the young cat is some kind of dog/devil/crazycat hybrid but he would never do anything that could harm either cat.

viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad you were able to compromise. I imagine your young cat will settle down. I got a rambunctious kitten to calm down this way: if he got too rough, I would stop playing with him and walk away. Since he was bright and really liked people, he got the message in two days. This is not effective on all crazy cats: my sister's cat Rupert was a psycho who'd gladly kill people in their sleep and then wonder why they don't feed him. He ended up on a farm where four cats finally ganged up to beat some manners into the @sshole.

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mbbookkeeping avatar
DuchessDegu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That gorgeous kitty looks just like mine, he was lucky she just yelled at him, I'd be going after him with a shovel and a bunch of endangered plants!

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You mean using the shovel to bury him under the endangered plants after using the shovel on his skull, right?

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noneanon avatar
Random Anon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eh screw him, not in a nice way. The cat was there first, the daughter was there first. What gave him the right to demand anything? I say ditch this numbskull.

williamjdougherty avatar
William J Dougherty
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He should be described as the Ex-future husband. Move on & please move UP.

shead26 avatar
Steve
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's the a**hole for blowing up at him instead of blowing him up

m_t_noah avatar
M.T. Noah
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

people who behave that way around cats, particularly (as cats don't tolerate any violation of their boundaries without paying you back in kind), are automatically on my DO NOT INTERACT WITH - THIS HUMAN IS INHERENTLY DANGEROUS list.

tiinabender avatar
Iifa A.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTA if you let that man into your life. I feel sorry for the daughter and the cat, if that man returns then please consider how much you want your daughter in your life. My mum married a man who was closer to my age than hers, he didn't raise me, but showed up to school plays, graduations and waited for me outside night clubs when I started going out. But he never ever raised his voice or.tpuched my.things. if you have children then the man needs to accept.this, and also understand he is the extra wheel in the house. Especially since cat and daughter were there before. the new partners know the children from before can be guided/supported, but you cannot touch them, hurt them or come between the relationship of a parent and a child. Throw the whole man out, you're extremely stupid to even let him take his stuff. Imagine in few years you daughter does something stupid, and you return to your daughter kicked out. Leave the man, rethink your values and find a man who loves you and fami

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should only let him return to pack up his stuff—-something she could avoid by quite literally tossing it all out on the lawn before he gets there. Maybe even pile it up nice and neat before Whoopsie! “accidentally” dropping a match or 100 on it.

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rozkay avatar
Roz Klaiman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone who abuses animals is going to abuse anyone and anything he or she considers vulnerable. Beware.

carolinadancer1_1 avatar
Denise Painter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I run an animal rescue. This time of year I get two calls a week at least from women who are getting married soon and their fiance suddenly tells them the cat is a deal breaker, they suddenly discovered they were allergic, they were going to travel and have pets, you name it. I tell all of these women the same thing - this is a test to see if he can control you. If you give up someone you love for him, like your pet, then he knows he can do whatever he wants to you and you will take it. My advice to all of them is the same: go back and tell him no, that you two are a package, and see what he says. If he says he understands and he can work things out, then he loves you. If he has a meltdown, he doesn't." I suggest they try to get a friend or family member to foster the cat for a little while if they are determined to go through with the marriage. I had one woman call me back a few months later and thank me.

julija-mich avatar
B-b-bird
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Skipping all and directly to ONE MAJOR RED FLAG, he’s abusive to animals - he will be abusive and manipulative to you and daughter . KICK HIM OUT NOW

louismazzella avatar
Louis Mazzella
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The guys a shithead if he did that to her car imagine what hell do to Her daughter drop the shithead while you can he has the personality of a shoe.

tarsa13 avatar
CL Rowan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

EXACTLY.How much abuse can the daughter take before he throws *her* out and tells mom that she 'ran away'?

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queenofthecastle82 avatar
Queenie-Poo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I personally wouldn't have blown up in front of his family, but I totally get why you did. Regardless of his feelings on the cat, what he did was cruel-to both the cat and your daughter. My dad doesn't like cats (actually, he's not a pet person at all), but he would NEVER do something like this to someone's pet.

marypigott_1 avatar
Mary Pigott
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandmother was married once before marrying my grandfather. The marriage lasted a week. This is back in the early 1920s mind you. As soon as the ceremony was over, the man she married went from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. My grandmother had the marriage annulled immediately. No b.s about it. We didn't even know about this until we mov3d them and found the marriage certificate, then my dad's aunt spilled the beans.

lexiburris04 avatar
Xander Kurtz
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yta for staying with this dude when he was acting so clearly entitled and hatefully towards your daughter. It's good you blew up at him in front of people he might actually care about. But if you stay in a relationship with this guy it'll be nothing but problems and complete misery and possibly mental illness for your daughter. He ain't worth it. Also "it's my house too so i expect changes" is such b******t. Your daughter and her cat have been there longer. They aren't less important or worth having less say or consideration just because they aren't having sex. A parents romantic partner is in fact NOT a parent or authority figure (not automatically anyway) even if living together. That position is EARNED via trust, respect, and being a positive impact on said children The entitled behavior to control people he barely knows and has no real direct connection with....yeah definitely keep away

saywyn avatar
Panda Who Mumbles, Constantly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Zoey's cat was there before this man-child came along, and she will be there AFTER OP breaks off the engagement and send his sorry a**e out of the door.

marilynrussell avatar
Marilyn Russell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope to high hell that she got rid of him out of her life. Imagine how his behaviour would have escalated? Perhaps becoming abusive to the daughter or her. When someone shows you who they really are, believe them.

ck594 avatar
Karen Kaiser
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The guy at least us immature, selfish and passive aggressive. At most abusive. Things will change when you're married is code for I'll have more legal rights to push you around. Change locks and return ring and block his number, etc. Also make sure any accounts you share you close and reopen in your name only

a_kuman avatar
Alexandra Kuman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I hope this woman gives an update saying she kicked this dangerous and controlling shithead to the curb. He will surely hurt her, her daughter and the cat. Once abusive, always abusive and it will escalate. If she loves her daughter and the cat-- and herself-- she will get rid of him-- and fast.

snsaquarius avatar
Stefi Stoyanova
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Dump his controling, pathetic, psychopathic, narcissistic butt and Don't forget to give your neighbour a Big Thank You Gift!

carolcares4u avatar
Carol Boshears
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would kick him to the curb and load him up as garbage! I've done that for far less. I adore cats. We used to breed and show Russian Blues. How damn controlling.

gili_upe avatar
Alice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when my alergic to cats boyfriend moved in with me and my two cats, we made some adjustments: changing the cat food (to the one which reduces allergies), robot vacuum cleaners, hoovering a lot, air purifier, and all is well. the boyfriend is not allergic anymore and we are happy family of four, soon to be five. the demand this man made to his fiance are controlling, abusive and no right. what if he asks to move the daughter out too? she should think if she wants to get married to such a man....

ma-lahann avatar
marianne eliza
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1: Always have a background check done, including wants and warrants for the whole country. 2: Prenup. And never put your assets, like property, in his/her name too. 3: Tell them #2 up front but withhold #1 unless you discover something important. 4: Any complaints? Break it off. You protect you and yours first.

mitaghosh049 avatar
Cat Momma
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Congrats on dodging a bullet made of toxic waste that flew back through time from chernobyl..... Congrats gurl!!! And love to Zoey and kitty <3

mikebaker avatar
MIKE BAKER
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the relationship right now anybody who doesn't love animals and does something like that I first I punch him in the face and then kick him out the door himself or move out cuz that's wrong very wrong you don't do that to someone's indoor cat I'm a cat lover myself and a dog lover and if even one of my friends did that that would be it it would be over with

kmleong74 avatar
Adrian Kuan
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This shows he's not a cat person I would feel hate when someone moves in and making he's own rules even if I'm renting my room if he complains about my cat get out and take your rent although I am single if I do ever get married it would be out house not he's but if you so complain about my cat it's bye bye

craigreynolds_1 avatar
Reyn-Guo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA and she should dump that narcissistic a-hole ASAP or he will destroy her life. It is clear to me he is just with her for what she has that he thinks will be his once married. She should get rid of him and get a restraining order just in case he goes full stalker on her and her daughter.

cjthiel910 avatar
CJ Thiel
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait, he moved into HER place and unilaterally decided it was now HIS place too? Was his name added to the title/lease, or did he just assume control? Then, that he would put an indoor cat out to fend for itself is hideous. The cat has no concept of moving vehicles or how to feed itself, having always had food and a safe place to sleep provided. That was cruelty at its worst -- both to the cat AND the daughter.

tarsa13 avatar
CL Rowan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any person who would abuse an animal is not worthy of a home themselves. She not only needs to throw *his* hairy a*s out, she should notify her local animal control. If he does it to one, he'll do it to another.

staceywalker839 avatar
Shnookumpie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Going to his parents house and verbally tearing into him on behalf of the pain and fear he instilled on the daughter, kitty & herself, falls perfectly into the category of Justifiable Rage. I hope he realizes how lucky he was to have gotten off so lightly. I don't think I could've managed as much level headed restraint as her and not committed a desperate outrage against him. He is a selfish b¡(+# baby & recklessly put the well being of a child at risk, and an innocent animal in danger..... His only ounce of decency is his self isolation from those he abused.... even then, he's only doing it to be manipulative, controlling and to further his perfected image of him being a cruel, abusive b¡(+# baby. I hope he stays away from them. If not, she is faced with chosing love and to do right by her daughter and ending things w him.... or taking him back and losing her daughters trust, faith and respect, forever marring their relationship. I hope she sees how he has made this an easy decision.

leasaymmoore avatar
notnow
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ladies, I see way too much of these kinds of things on here. Please think these things through before you let him move in. Why is he moving in with you at all? It leaves me to speculate that he can't stand on his own and that you are and have been. I bet he can't handle his money, has bad credit, and never takes responsibility for we'll anything. You in the meantime have knuckled down and made a life for you and your children. You have a home that you alone are paying for. He's going to come in and call it his because you're what? Lonely, desperate to be loved? I get that, really I do. But please fight this urge Press him on his financials. Look at his bank statements. At least ask to look at them. If he balks or gets defensive, you have your answer. This is your life and more importantly, your children's life your messing with here. I say this if you're the one with all the credit and he can not finance a thing without a co-signer he never will. You don't need him.

injamen avatar
inj amen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You say that this person is your fiance?.... Egad! Thankfully you see what this thing (person) is ahead of time. You have on your hands a heartless, selfish, cruel abuser--- that tries to lie its way of its evil when its confronted. Get rid of it (him) now, or you'll spend the rest of your life regretting not heeding the warning signs.

berdarien avatar
Berdarien Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just want to know if I can pet the cat? Obviously NTA. This is a major red flag and I hope she realizes it.

lmtuthillrn avatar
Loreitta M Tuthill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He is a bully, controlling, and overall jerk. He will only get worse. Kick him to the curb, change the locks, and don't look back. Pack his stuff and put it in the driveway. Document with pictures everything in the box/boxes. If he starts demanding to see that you didn't keep anything call the police and let them look for what he claims is missing. Let them know you will charge him with trespassing if he ever comes on your property again. Put cameras around your home. No matter what he says he won't change. He is toxic and abusive.

lmtuthillrn avatar
Loreitta M Tuthill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry you and your daughter are going through this rough time. Be thankful he has shown his true colors before you got married. After the wedding he will be more controlling, a bully, and abusive. DO NOT MARRY this man. Kick him to the curb and don't look back. Change the locks and stay safe.

chelseamcdowell avatar
LadyRiverStyx
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm just wondering why she didn't check the cams in the first place.

zh avatar
Z H
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please don't get married, for the sake of your daughter, your cat and peace in your home. My mom dated a guy who hated my cat, despite being declawed(didn't want to but apartment said we had to in order to keep her), my cat was very protective of my family. She would not let him pick up my youngest brother(she would bite him when he tried) and would hiss at him when he came near my other siblings as well. We had her for 12 years and was my emotional support cat (I suffered from so or sleep paralysis and anxiety attacks). To make a long story short he knew she walked around the neighbor hood and was very smart to not get run over but he intentionally ran her over and said he saw someone else do it. Our neighbors her sad and i was deviated. I can understand your daughter's love for your cat so I hope you all are safe and get that abusive man out of your guys life.

nofxgirrl0-0 avatar
Evelyn Ann
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I tried to go on there to warn her but it's locked...this is the first incident in what will become an abusive relationship. I moved in with my ex with my cat, while the cat lived at my apartment he was mostly indifferent but petted her when she came around him. I moved in with him, he said i could either smoke in the basement (he had just quit smoking and it was winter)or bring the cat, i chose cat. She started hiding a lot and not coming out until i came home from work. A month later he told me she had gotten out and drank antifreeze in garage, he said he buried her so i wouldn't have to see. We had a son together, he started cutting me off from friends and family slowly. Stopped giving money for clothes (i stayed at home with baby) then started cutting off money for gas etc so i couldn't leave house.This was all one tiny step at a time, so slow that i didn't see it. His brother accidentally let it slip about bringing cat to shelter years ago.

nofxgirrl0-0 avatar
Evelyn Ann
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He started commenting on the weight i gained while pregnant and after. I have a solid sense of self so didn't care, just laughed at him back. But then he hit me. And i left. So long story...this is where he is headed. Even worse since it is to daughter's cat, and he moved into their home! Time to kick him to curb

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leslieagostino avatar
Leslie Agostino
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Time for you to kick this abusive pos to the curb. He would have been out if you were me after the words " this is my house too and things will change after we are married." Wanna bet, a*****e? That is when his abusive a*s goes bye bye. You, your daughter and her precious fur baby can do better. Drop this p***k asap

jnjulian1983 avatar
Jessica Julian
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everytime I read one of these, I am so thankful for my stepdad...my dad, really. My mom, and I, really licked out, with him. Now, I just hope someone told the woman she might want to have her cat checked out by a vet...people like that guy are capable of horrible things.

marybricklin avatar
Mary Bricklin
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, if this had been me, that man would not be living with me. My cats are my family, end of story. If anyone tries to mess with them, nothing will stop me. Especially if anyone had pulled this stunt and let them outside with the purpose of them getting lost or hurt. OP needs to get rid of this man because he's literally throwing red flags at her.

jillnunes avatar
Jill Nunes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get him out of your house and do not let him sucker his way back making broken promises please keep him away from your daughter ASAP

aliciagriffonlady avatar
Alicia GriffonLady
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's mentally unstable if he thinks a cat will not touch things because he says so. Probably setting things up so he can get angry as his future step daughter for "disobeying" and "letting" the cat touch things. I am picturing the cat, knowing the guy is a douch bag, wrecking his stuff and making him show his true self via feline intelligence. ^_^

joyce_monty avatar
Joyce Monty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Keep the cat, re-home the boyfriend. He's just given you a glimpse of a future with him. Run, don't walk, away from him as fast as you can. He isn't worth you or your daughters happiness.

benji_fleenor avatar
Benji
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex fiancé didn't like my cats, that's why he's my ex fiancé.

cmdrunematti avatar
CMDR unematti
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a manipulator, he thought he had you "in the bag"already and started showing the controlling tendencies. You need to get rid of him.

chrisdifonso avatar
Chris DiFonso
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eric is clearly a t****r (pun intended). I hope the OP breaks off all contact with him and blocks his number on all her phones.

lisettemccown_1 avatar
LittleLiz
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That cat looks like one of those creepy realistic toys.

jbee02 avatar
Josh Lindberg
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not coming to agree on some respectful middle ground is a failure on both ends here but it happens in relationships even to couples who have exceptionally good conflict resolution skills. Make up skills are just as important as conflict resolution skills in marriage for that reason. As for him trying to abandon the cat and then lying about it. That is horrible he definitely needs to own up to that and apologize. Now I'm not going to say you should dump him or stay with him based what is essentially a small snippet of you're relationship. I don't know if this reflective of how he treats you as a whole or this is simply a low point. But these are definitely questions you should reflect on ask yourself and discuss with him.

jayceedelarosa avatar
amandacristina avatar
Amanda Cristina
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They can, especially a cat that has NEVER left the house. They can also be stolen, run over, poisoned, etc. That guy is an a*****e.

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Yourwordsdinthurtme
Community Member
1 year ago

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Both acted like kids the dad should of never tried to kick the cat out if he really has a problem he could of had a serious Convo between him and his wife. she is also in the wrong for flipping out in front of his family showing that she has no self control of her emotions. She should of waited or told him they needed to talk instead of doing all that. They both are assholes plain and simple. Both acted like kids.

mikeyall46 avatar
Yourwordsdinthurtme
Community Member
1 year ago

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Both acted like kids the dad should of never tried to kick the cat out if he really has a problem he could of had a serious Convo between him and his wife. she is also in the wrong for flipping out in front of his family showing that she has no self control of her emotions. She should of waited or told him they needed to talk instead of doing all that. They both are assholes plain and simple. Both acted like kids. Both DIDN'T know how to handle the situation.

kingmae-1313 avatar
that.bitch.mae
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So she was wrong for being upset that he tried to get rid of her daughter's cat and acting entitled to her home? She wasn't in the wrong here. She had every right to be pissed.

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d bradley
Community Member
1 year ago

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i admit, i only read the cover story... scrolled down here to ask WHY. Why is this story posted, why do people read it, why, why , why!

garythompson avatar
Gary Thompson
Community Member
1 year ago

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The camera may confirm he let the cat out but a camera cannot provide any information as to the guys intent as to whether or not he was going to leave the cat out. He admitted he let the cat out he denied the intent to let it get lost. Op accused him of intentionally letting the cat get lost.. not of simply letting the cat out. To accuse him in front of his family for some unprovable thought crime points out her ridiculousness and must have been incredibly embarrassing so yes she is an a*****e. That being said he sounds like a horrible person in general and anyone who claims any sort of intent to change after marriage is hiding who they truly are and someone that should be avoided and certainly not married. Both of you need to grow up. Get out though op. He's obviously a d**k.

rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, come on. He knew damn well the cat was an indoor-only cat and would probably get lost outside. Get real.

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jamie_mayfield avatar
Ivana
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mother married an abusive alcoholic who kicked my sister out and my cat out of the house. My cat got ran over and my sister got raped by the family member she was forced to live with when she was 12. So don't marry that man is all I'm saying. My mother's husband cracked my skull open when I was 11 and I woke up a week later in the ICU and was thrilled to find out he bolted to avoid being arrested for almost killing me. I remember looking at my mom as she updated me on what happened, and I smiled at her and told her "Worth it". I don't talk to my mother much.

angelanagel avatar
Yoga Kitty
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, harm one of my cats and you will sit outside on your fªnny in under one minute - and then run for the hills and be glad that nothing worse happened to you...

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same, except I like the comment “I’ve seen the cat, the man should be composted”, so I would probably follow that route. Me: “Uh gee, I don’t know where he is. He just left in a huff one day and never came back.” Friend: “Wow! What a beautiful garden! What’s your secret?” Me: “Oh, I compost”.

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Roz Klaiman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Animal abusers are dangerous and will and DO abuse anyone and anything they consider vulnerable, her future looks very scary.

abigailrose_1 avatar
Wysteria_Rose
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So my husband isn't really a "cat person" (though she sometimes acts like he's the one who bought her out of the pound but whatever) but he would NEVER let her out on purpose. She has no claws (she was found that way as a stray) and any time she even tries to escape past us, he ALWAYS goes after her and brings her in. Because a good person doesn't allow anyone's pets that they care about to get hurt because they know that will be just awful for the pet owner. Throw that whole person out and use the wedding money on buying the cat more treats.

lisah255 avatar
LH25
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"How he expects things to change after we get married"?! That would have been a deal-breaker long before his reprehensible actions with that poor cat. What he expects? Not talking to her about what they as a couple want?

leasaymmoore avatar
notnow
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He probably let that slip out "/How he expects things to change...." He was holding on to that one until after he married her as in "You're married to me now, so suck it up buttercup"

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Lisa H
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone who thinks they can treat me or my family like that (pets included, they are family too, no exceptions), there's the door. Oh, can't find the door? Here, let me use your face to help you.

creaturecargeaux avatar
Creature Cargeaux
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've learned that any person who doesn't like animals or at the very least respect them... are s**t partners. Exile them. Anyone who would do this to a child & an animal deserves an a*s whooping.

juliechute avatar
Hoodoo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." - M Angelou. OP's fortunate actually- she got a sneak preview o what she & her child are in for if she is yoked to this mess long-term. Kudos to OP for putting this out there in front of his family. Reality is uncomfortable at times & I sincerely hope OP doesn't continue to delude herself bout this abuser.

mim8209 avatar
MimSorensson
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How horrifically cruel. Like a nasty child who don’t understand that hurting others is immoral. I’m ashamed to say I might have lost it to such a degree as to hurt the motherfùcker. Don’t mess with my cats, man. I don’t condone violence, but if you mess with my cats, I’ll have your head. Holy heck, I’d have instantly passed through anger and gone straight into rage. I’ve got a very soft spot for my cats - they can’t defend themselves, so that’s my job. This self centred, underhanded piece of shìt isn’t much of a keeper, I’d say.

kleski-paula avatar
Pollywog
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You wanna mess with my kids?? I would've taken him out to the middle of nowhere, no cell coverage and dropped him off and let him figure it out on his own!!!

kesti-nielsen avatar
TheElderNom
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is one thing to have a discussion about pets but this is not that. My boyfriend moved in with me and my cats and since then we've agreed to keep the bedroom door closed during the day to make things less hairy. The guest bedroom/office was also off limits to the cats since he wanted a cat free room. Mainly he doesn't want them on the desk. But after my older cat needed special food she has it in there with a cat flap so only she can get in since that's the only way to prevent the other cat from gorging on food that wouldn't be good for him. He honestly would prefer to only have the older cat since she's a proper little lady whereas the young cat is some kind of dog/devil/crazycat hybrid but he would never do anything that could harm either cat.

viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm glad you were able to compromise. I imagine your young cat will settle down. I got a rambunctious kitten to calm down this way: if he got too rough, I would stop playing with him and walk away. Since he was bright and really liked people, he got the message in two days. This is not effective on all crazy cats: my sister's cat Rupert was a psycho who'd gladly kill people in their sleep and then wonder why they don't feed him. He ended up on a farm where four cats finally ganged up to beat some manners into the @sshole.

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DuchessDegu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That gorgeous kitty looks just like mine, he was lucky she just yelled at him, I'd be going after him with a shovel and a bunch of endangered plants!

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You mean using the shovel to bury him under the endangered plants after using the shovel on his skull, right?

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noneanon avatar
Random Anon
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eh screw him, not in a nice way. The cat was there first, the daughter was there first. What gave him the right to demand anything? I say ditch this numbskull.

williamjdougherty avatar
William J Dougherty
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He should be described as the Ex-future husband. Move on & please move UP.

shead26 avatar
Steve
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's the a**hole for blowing up at him instead of blowing him up

m_t_noah avatar
M.T. Noah
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

people who behave that way around cats, particularly (as cats don't tolerate any violation of their boundaries without paying you back in kind), are automatically on my DO NOT INTERACT WITH - THIS HUMAN IS INHERENTLY DANGEROUS list.

tiinabender avatar
Iifa A.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YTA if you let that man into your life. I feel sorry for the daughter and the cat, if that man returns then please consider how much you want your daughter in your life. My mum married a man who was closer to my age than hers, he didn't raise me, but showed up to school plays, graduations and waited for me outside night clubs when I started going out. But he never ever raised his voice or.tpuched my.things. if you have children then the man needs to accept.this, and also understand he is the extra wheel in the house. Especially since cat and daughter were there before. the new partners know the children from before can be guided/supported, but you cannot touch them, hurt them or come between the relationship of a parent and a child. Throw the whole man out, you're extremely stupid to even let him take his stuff. Imagine in few years you daughter does something stupid, and you return to your daughter kicked out. Leave the man, rethink your values and find a man who loves you and fami

kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She should only let him return to pack up his stuff—-something she could avoid by quite literally tossing it all out on the lawn before he gets there. Maybe even pile it up nice and neat before Whoopsie! “accidentally” dropping a match or 100 on it.

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rozkay avatar
Roz Klaiman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Anyone who abuses animals is going to abuse anyone and anything he or she considers vulnerable. Beware.

carolinadancer1_1 avatar
Denise Painter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I run an animal rescue. This time of year I get two calls a week at least from women who are getting married soon and their fiance suddenly tells them the cat is a deal breaker, they suddenly discovered they were allergic, they were going to travel and have pets, you name it. I tell all of these women the same thing - this is a test to see if he can control you. If you give up someone you love for him, like your pet, then he knows he can do whatever he wants to you and you will take it. My advice to all of them is the same: go back and tell him no, that you two are a package, and see what he says. If he says he understands and he can work things out, then he loves you. If he has a meltdown, he doesn't." I suggest they try to get a friend or family member to foster the cat for a little while if they are determined to go through with the marriage. I had one woman call me back a few months later and thank me.

julija-mich avatar
B-b-bird
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Skipping all and directly to ONE MAJOR RED FLAG, he’s abusive to animals - he will be abusive and manipulative to you and daughter . KICK HIM OUT NOW

louismazzella avatar
Louis Mazzella
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The guys a shithead if he did that to her car imagine what hell do to Her daughter drop the shithead while you can he has the personality of a shoe.

tarsa13 avatar
CL Rowan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

EXACTLY.How much abuse can the daughter take before he throws *her* out and tells mom that she 'ran away'?

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Queenie-Poo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I personally wouldn't have blown up in front of his family, but I totally get why you did. Regardless of his feelings on the cat, what he did was cruel-to both the cat and your daughter. My dad doesn't like cats (actually, he's not a pet person at all), but he would NEVER do something like this to someone's pet.

marypigott_1 avatar
Mary Pigott
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My grandmother was married once before marrying my grandfather. The marriage lasted a week. This is back in the early 1920s mind you. As soon as the ceremony was over, the man she married went from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. My grandmother had the marriage annulled immediately. No b.s about it. We didn't even know about this until we mov3d them and found the marriage certificate, then my dad's aunt spilled the beans.

lexiburris04 avatar
Xander Kurtz
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yta for staying with this dude when he was acting so clearly entitled and hatefully towards your daughter. It's good you blew up at him in front of people he might actually care about. But if you stay in a relationship with this guy it'll be nothing but problems and complete misery and possibly mental illness for your daughter. He ain't worth it. Also "it's my house too so i expect changes" is such b******t. Your daughter and her cat have been there longer. They aren't less important or worth having less say or consideration just because they aren't having sex. A parents romantic partner is in fact NOT a parent or authority figure (not automatically anyway) even if living together. That position is EARNED via trust, respect, and being a positive impact on said children The entitled behavior to control people he barely knows and has no real direct connection with....yeah definitely keep away

saywyn avatar
Panda Who Mumbles, Constantly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Zoey's cat was there before this man-child came along, and she will be there AFTER OP breaks off the engagement and send his sorry a**e out of the door.

marilynrussell avatar
Marilyn Russell
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope to high hell that she got rid of him out of her life. Imagine how his behaviour would have escalated? Perhaps becoming abusive to the daughter or her. When someone shows you who they really are, believe them.

ck594 avatar
Karen Kaiser
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The guy at least us immature, selfish and passive aggressive. At most abusive. Things will change when you're married is code for I'll have more legal rights to push you around. Change locks and return ring and block his number, etc. Also make sure any accounts you share you close and reopen in your name only

a_kuman avatar
Alexandra Kuman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I hope this woman gives an update saying she kicked this dangerous and controlling shithead to the curb. He will surely hurt her, her daughter and the cat. Once abusive, always abusive and it will escalate. If she loves her daughter and the cat-- and herself-- she will get rid of him-- and fast.

snsaquarius avatar
Stefi Stoyanova
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. Dump his controling, pathetic, psychopathic, narcissistic butt and Don't forget to give your neighbour a Big Thank You Gift!

carolcares4u avatar
Carol Boshears
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would kick him to the curb and load him up as garbage! I've done that for far less. I adore cats. We used to breed and show Russian Blues. How damn controlling.

gili_upe avatar
Alice
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when my alergic to cats boyfriend moved in with me and my two cats, we made some adjustments: changing the cat food (to the one which reduces allergies), robot vacuum cleaners, hoovering a lot, air purifier, and all is well. the boyfriend is not allergic anymore and we are happy family of four, soon to be five. the demand this man made to his fiance are controlling, abusive and no right. what if he asks to move the daughter out too? she should think if she wants to get married to such a man....

ma-lahann avatar
marianne eliza
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

1: Always have a background check done, including wants and warrants for the whole country. 2: Prenup. And never put your assets, like property, in his/her name too. 3: Tell them #2 up front but withhold #1 unless you discover something important. 4: Any complaints? Break it off. You protect you and yours first.

mitaghosh049 avatar
Cat Momma
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Congrats on dodging a bullet made of toxic waste that flew back through time from chernobyl..... Congrats gurl!!! And love to Zoey and kitty <3

mikebaker avatar
MIKE BAKER
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the relationship right now anybody who doesn't love animals and does something like that I first I punch him in the face and then kick him out the door himself or move out cuz that's wrong very wrong you don't do that to someone's indoor cat I'm a cat lover myself and a dog lover and if even one of my friends did that that would be it it would be over with

kmleong74 avatar
Adrian Kuan
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This shows he's not a cat person I would feel hate when someone moves in and making he's own rules even if I'm renting my room if he complains about my cat get out and take your rent although I am single if I do ever get married it would be out house not he's but if you so complain about my cat it's bye bye

craigreynolds_1 avatar
Reyn-Guo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA and she should dump that narcissistic a-hole ASAP or he will destroy her life. It is clear to me he is just with her for what she has that he thinks will be his once married. She should get rid of him and get a restraining order just in case he goes full stalker on her and her daughter.

cjthiel910 avatar
CJ Thiel
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait, he moved into HER place and unilaterally decided it was now HIS place too? Was his name added to the title/lease, or did he just assume control? Then, that he would put an indoor cat out to fend for itself is hideous. The cat has no concept of moving vehicles or how to feed itself, having always had food and a safe place to sleep provided. That was cruelty at its worst -- both to the cat AND the daughter.

tarsa13 avatar
CL Rowan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any person who would abuse an animal is not worthy of a home themselves. She not only needs to throw *his* hairy a*s out, she should notify her local animal control. If he does it to one, he'll do it to another.

staceywalker839 avatar
Shnookumpie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Going to his parents house and verbally tearing into him on behalf of the pain and fear he instilled on the daughter, kitty & herself, falls perfectly into the category of Justifiable Rage. I hope he realizes how lucky he was to have gotten off so lightly. I don't think I could've managed as much level headed restraint as her and not committed a desperate outrage against him. He is a selfish b¡(+# baby & recklessly put the well being of a child at risk, and an innocent animal in danger..... His only ounce of decency is his self isolation from those he abused.... even then, he's only doing it to be manipulative, controlling and to further his perfected image of him being a cruel, abusive b¡(+# baby. I hope he stays away from them. If not, she is faced with chosing love and to do right by her daughter and ending things w him.... or taking him back and losing her daughters trust, faith and respect, forever marring their relationship. I hope she sees how he has made this an easy decision.

leasaymmoore avatar
notnow
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ladies, I see way too much of these kinds of things on here. Please think these things through before you let him move in. Why is he moving in with you at all? It leaves me to speculate that he can't stand on his own and that you are and have been. I bet he can't handle his money, has bad credit, and never takes responsibility for we'll anything. You in the meantime have knuckled down and made a life for you and your children. You have a home that you alone are paying for. He's going to come in and call it his because you're what? Lonely, desperate to be loved? I get that, really I do. But please fight this urge Press him on his financials. Look at his bank statements. At least ask to look at them. If he balks or gets defensive, you have your answer. This is your life and more importantly, your children's life your messing with here. I say this if you're the one with all the credit and he can not finance a thing without a co-signer he never will. You don't need him.

injamen avatar
inj amen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You say that this person is your fiance?.... Egad! Thankfully you see what this thing (person) is ahead of time. You have on your hands a heartless, selfish, cruel abuser--- that tries to lie its way of its evil when its confronted. Get rid of it (him) now, or you'll spend the rest of your life regretting not heeding the warning signs.

berdarien avatar
Berdarien Brown
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just want to know if I can pet the cat? Obviously NTA. This is a major red flag and I hope she realizes it.

lmtuthillrn avatar
Loreitta M Tuthill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He is a bully, controlling, and overall jerk. He will only get worse. Kick him to the curb, change the locks, and don't look back. Pack his stuff and put it in the driveway. Document with pictures everything in the box/boxes. If he starts demanding to see that you didn't keep anything call the police and let them look for what he claims is missing. Let them know you will charge him with trespassing if he ever comes on your property again. Put cameras around your home. No matter what he says he won't change. He is toxic and abusive.

lmtuthillrn avatar
Loreitta M Tuthill
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry you and your daughter are going through this rough time. Be thankful he has shown his true colors before you got married. After the wedding he will be more controlling, a bully, and abusive. DO NOT MARRY this man. Kick him to the curb and don't look back. Change the locks and stay safe.

chelseamcdowell avatar
LadyRiverStyx
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm just wondering why she didn't check the cams in the first place.

zh avatar
Z H
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Please don't get married, for the sake of your daughter, your cat and peace in your home. My mom dated a guy who hated my cat, despite being declawed(didn't want to but apartment said we had to in order to keep her), my cat was very protective of my family. She would not let him pick up my youngest brother(she would bite him when he tried) and would hiss at him when he came near my other siblings as well. We had her for 12 years and was my emotional support cat (I suffered from so or sleep paralysis and anxiety attacks). To make a long story short he knew she walked around the neighbor hood and was very smart to not get run over but he intentionally ran her over and said he saw someone else do it. Our neighbors her sad and i was deviated. I can understand your daughter's love for your cat so I hope you all are safe and get that abusive man out of your guys life.

nofxgirrl0-0 avatar
Evelyn Ann
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I tried to go on there to warn her but it's locked...this is the first incident in what will become an abusive relationship. I moved in with my ex with my cat, while the cat lived at my apartment he was mostly indifferent but petted her when she came around him. I moved in with him, he said i could either smoke in the basement (he had just quit smoking and it was winter)or bring the cat, i chose cat. She started hiding a lot and not coming out until i came home from work. A month later he told me she had gotten out and drank antifreeze in garage, he said he buried her so i wouldn't have to see. We had a son together, he started cutting me off from friends and family slowly. Stopped giving money for clothes (i stayed at home with baby) then started cutting off money for gas etc so i couldn't leave house.This was all one tiny step at a time, so slow that i didn't see it. His brother accidentally let it slip about bringing cat to shelter years ago.

nofxgirrl0-0 avatar
Evelyn Ann
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He started commenting on the weight i gained while pregnant and after. I have a solid sense of self so didn't care, just laughed at him back. But then he hit me. And i left. So long story...this is where he is headed. Even worse since it is to daughter's cat, and he moved into their home! Time to kick him to curb

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Leslie Agostino
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Time for you to kick this abusive pos to the curb. He would have been out if you were me after the words " this is my house too and things will change after we are married." Wanna bet, a*****e? That is when his abusive a*s goes bye bye. You, your daughter and her precious fur baby can do better. Drop this p***k asap

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Jessica Julian
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Everytime I read one of these, I am so thankful for my stepdad...my dad, really. My mom, and I, really licked out, with him. Now, I just hope someone told the woman she might want to have her cat checked out by a vet...people like that guy are capable of horrible things.

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Mary Bricklin
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, if this had been me, that man would not be living with me. My cats are my family, end of story. If anyone tries to mess with them, nothing will stop me. Especially if anyone had pulled this stunt and let them outside with the purpose of them getting lost or hurt. OP needs to get rid of this man because he's literally throwing red flags at her.

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Jill Nunes
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get him out of your house and do not let him sucker his way back making broken promises please keep him away from your daughter ASAP

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Alicia GriffonLady
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's mentally unstable if he thinks a cat will not touch things because he says so. Probably setting things up so he can get angry as his future step daughter for "disobeying" and "letting" the cat touch things. I am picturing the cat, knowing the guy is a douch bag, wrecking his stuff and making him show his true self via feline intelligence. ^_^

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Joyce Monty
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Keep the cat, re-home the boyfriend. He's just given you a glimpse of a future with him. Run, don't walk, away from him as fast as you can. He isn't worth you or your daughters happiness.

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Benji
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My ex fiancé didn't like my cats, that's why he's my ex fiancé.

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CMDR unematti
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's a manipulator, he thought he had you "in the bag"already and started showing the controlling tendencies. You need to get rid of him.

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Chris DiFonso
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Eric is clearly a t****r (pun intended). I hope the OP breaks off all contact with him and blocks his number on all her phones.

lisettemccown_1 avatar
LittleLiz
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That cat looks like one of those creepy realistic toys.

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Josh Lindberg
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not coming to agree on some respectful middle ground is a failure on both ends here but it happens in relationships even to couples who have exceptionally good conflict resolution skills. Make up skills are just as important as conflict resolution skills in marriage for that reason. As for him trying to abandon the cat and then lying about it. That is horrible he definitely needs to own up to that and apologize. Now I'm not going to say you should dump him or stay with him based what is essentially a small snippet of you're relationship. I don't know if this reflective of how he treats you as a whole or this is simply a low point. But these are definitely questions you should reflect on ask yourself and discuss with him.

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Amanda Cristina
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They can, especially a cat that has NEVER left the house. They can also be stolen, run over, poisoned, etc. That guy is an a*****e.

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mikeyall46 avatar
Yourwordsdinthurtme
Community Member
1 year ago

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Both acted like kids the dad should of never tried to kick the cat out if he really has a problem he could of had a serious Convo between him and his wife. she is also in the wrong for flipping out in front of his family showing that she has no self control of her emotions. She should of waited or told him they needed to talk instead of doing all that. They both are assholes plain and simple. Both acted like kids.

mikeyall46 avatar
Yourwordsdinthurtme
Community Member
1 year ago

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Both acted like kids the dad should of never tried to kick the cat out if he really has a problem he could of had a serious Convo between him and his wife. she is also in the wrong for flipping out in front of his family showing that she has no self control of her emotions. She should of waited or told him they needed to talk instead of doing all that. They both are assholes plain and simple. Both acted like kids. Both DIDN'T know how to handle the situation.

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that.bitch.mae
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So she was wrong for being upset that he tried to get rid of her daughter's cat and acting entitled to her home? She wasn't in the wrong here. She had every right to be pissed.

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d bradley
Community Member
1 year ago

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i admit, i only read the cover story... scrolled down here to ask WHY. Why is this story posted, why do people read it, why, why , why!

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Gary Thompson
Community Member
1 year ago

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The camera may confirm he let the cat out but a camera cannot provide any information as to the guys intent as to whether or not he was going to leave the cat out. He admitted he let the cat out he denied the intent to let it get lost. Op accused him of intentionally letting the cat get lost.. not of simply letting the cat out. To accuse him in front of his family for some unprovable thought crime points out her ridiculousness and must have been incredibly embarrassing so yes she is an a*****e. That being said he sounds like a horrible person in general and anyone who claims any sort of intent to change after marriage is hiding who they truly are and someone that should be avoided and certainly not married. Both of you need to grow up. Get out though op. He's obviously a d**k.

rhodabike6 avatar
Seabeast
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh, come on. He knew damn well the cat was an indoor-only cat and would probably get lost outside. Get real.

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