Bride Wants Her Stepdaughter To Cut Her Hair For The Wedding, Is Livid When The Stepdaughter Refuses
Interview
We’ve all heard stories about bridezillas running amok during the wedding planning. But when bridezilla is also the future wife of your father, things are quite different. After all, who doesn’t want to see their dad happy?
So this story comes from a 15-year-old teen whose mom passed away 2 years ago, and her dad started dating another woman eight months later. “After they got engaged, Alice approached me and said we needed to talk. She said she has a clear vision of how she wants her wedding to be and that I have to comply so that everything will be perfect,” the author wrote on r/AITA.
But she didn’t expect her stepmom to give her such questionable directions. Turns out, the stepmom not only wanted her hair cut short, she also demanded that she not wear heels nor fake lashes. Let’s see how this whole situation unfolded and make sure to leave your thoughts in the comments below.
A 15-year-old teen has recently shared this complex situation she had with her stepmom who’s about to marry her dad
Image credits: Tatsiana Volkava (not the actual photo)
Turns out, the stepmom asked her to cut her hair short among other things so that ‘everything will be perfect,’ but the author refused
Bored Panda reached out to the teen who shared this whole story about her dad getting married and the difficult situation that came with it. “When Alice told me her requests I was taken aback,” she told us. “The flats and light makeup sounded reasonable to me but asking me to cut my hair was too much. I thought it was unfair.”
The author feels like she put her dad in a tight situation, so she asked people if she was right to refuse her stepmom’s request
However, the author is very thankful she posted her situation on Reddit. “Not only did they give me validation, I was also given good pieces of advice. I made my decision not to cut my hair because of the support I received on Reddit,” she said.
Having said that, the author assured us that “Alice is a nice person.” “She never forced me to have a relationship with her and before this situation, we were cordial to each other. I think I can get along with her but it will depend on how she will react to my decision not cutting my hair.”
She later added a couple of edits and the update on her final decision
To all the daughters and sons who struggle getting along with their step parent, the teen said to learn to accept the situation. “Understand that your parent deserves to be happy.” She also suggested writing “a journal where you can pour all your thoughts and emotions. It has helped me a lot, especially after my mother passed and my dad moved on too soon.”
“Lastly, reflect on your attitude towards your step parent. At least be polite to them even if you don’t get along well,” the teen in the pivot of this complex situation concluded.
And this is what people had to comment on this whole situation
Just Wow! The nerve of this POS. Who gave her the God given right to demand such things? She is totally insecure in her own life. You should not cut your hair, as it is something you and your Mom bonded . I dont even think you should opt out of heels and fake lashes if that's what you prefer. She has absolutely no right to make such demands. When you married someone with children, you have to accept the children as well just as they are. It's a package deal. Just Wow. I am disgusted by this lady, if you can call her that. Definitely NTA at all. Stand your ground!
She has a mental age of about 12. Remember, the father was already 14 years old before his new wife was BORN.
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That poor girl. All the comment aside about the step mum (who is a bitch btw) I really feel for this young lady. She is between the rock and the hard place. I wish I could give her a hug.
I had a step-monster like this growing up. Truly the evilest, most selfish, nastiest person on the planet. As the daughter, there really is nothing you can do but count your time and hope they get divorced someday.
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NTA. You simply do not decide about your guests' looks, end of the discussion. (Maybe apart from not wanting your guests to wear a white dress...) Stepmom should try to get professional help if she feels so insecure about her looks that a teenager might upstage her on her own wedding.
I would say go live with relatives and visit your dad on the holidays because this bitch is crazy and you don’t need this s**t for the last few years of your childhood honestly. If you got options take them.
Say yes to all her demands and the day of the wedding go with your gorgeous hair free-flowing, in the highest heels that your comfortable with and the make up that you want with the longest lashes! If you're worried about a 15 year old up staging you, clearly you're as beautiful on the outside you are on the inside (none). F*****g psychotic b*Tch! And if your dad isn't putting his foot down, then I'm sorry but do not conform to any of her demands. Being a bride dies not give you permission to be a bitch!
Her hair is not the problem here. The problem is, her dad is marrying a narcissistic, immature, insecure and manipulative woman who is going to cause nothing but problems for him and his daughter and the family. Anyone who demands your child changes their appearance to make you herself look good is not marriage material. They both should run. In the meantime, this lovely young girl should a) have a serious talk with dad if it's not already too late and b) do what she wants with her own body/hair/makeup/appearance.
I agree. From the moment that the girlfriend didn’t want to connect with the daughter the dad should have slowed or ended the relation. I don’t have or plan to have children but I would never put a partner before them. Children need to be protected.
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Imagine a grown ass woman worrying about being upstaged by a teenager. Yeah, I don't see this marriage lasting very long. The audacity to just demand that someone cut their hair.
It might last forever. Dear old Dad seems ready to throw his daughter in the garbage because he's being led by the d**k.
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Damn, that woman is on the path of the archetype evil step mom out of a fairytale. Don't cut your hair, don't accept any food (especially apples) from her and I hope, you don't have to sleep in the kitchen. Only half kidding here. Also, what is wrong with your spineless dad??? And I am so sorry, you lost your mom at such an early age. You two obviously loved and cared about each other.
I’m stuck on her being “accused of upstaging” her step-mom-to-be (bride). If the length of her hair is going to divert attention away from the bride, then the bride wants it to be less attractive. She’s, in essence, asking a 15 year-old child to become less attractive. How petty and insecure do you have to be to make a request like that?
Don't trust her. You may wake up one morning with a DIY pixie, or eating breakfast when she whips out the hedge trimmer.
I would suggest the young lady takes a long time talking to her dad about this situation and ask him if he's sure about marrying someone who tried to punish his daughter? So I never understood the "perfect day" s**t, you marry to share your whole life with a person you love, not to have one "perfect day"?
Is there any way to stay with your mom's sister permanently? I would say that, given the situation, I wouldn't want to be stuck in a house like that. I would express your feelings to your father and if he gives you the "I don't care" attitude, look into staying with your aunt. And since you are 15, according to Georgia state law, anyone over the age of 25 can adopt you and you do not need your fathers consent to do so.
Wear the tallest heels you can find and buy a bright pink wig. And huge falsies. HAHAHAHAAH.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pam67x/aita_i_asked_my_future_stepdaughter_to_cut_her/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source= About halfway down is an autobot copy of the question as the original was deleted.
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On previous AITA's, the entire world has decided that brides who want their bridesmaids to cut their hair so they won't upstage the bride are The Asshole, as is any bride who makes outrageous requests because they want "everything to be perfect". However, this bride has managed to beat all the brides who just stick it to the bridal party who volunteered to be there, and so has this girl's indifferent father.
Get out of there as soon as you can. Spend the WEEK of the wedding at your aunt's. Have no part in any of this wedding or the marriage.
I totally thought this was about the step-daughter refusing to give her stepmom a free haircut.
At least the Stepdaughter was given some kind of warning. When I was bridesmaid at my sister's wedding I had to have my hair short and in this hideous style that had some kind of bump on the top all just so her equally horrible wish bone style headdress could sit properly on my head. I looked TERRIBLE. It took nearly a year for my hair to grow back to normal but as it had been chopped and layered it took longer again until my hair was long enough where it had been the shortest so I could have cut again and have it all the same length. In the meantime I had the most horrible horrible hair and got bullied mercilessly about it at school. All just because it was what my sister wanted on her wedding day. Even when I was getting it cut for the wedding I said multiple times I didn't want it that way but I may as well have said nothing as neither mum or my sister listened to me. It was my sister's day and I just had to put up with it.
I´m so sorry. Who does this to someone over a f***** day??
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NTA! Jeez, the attitude from the fiancee is terrible. Small changes in appearance are perfectly okay, but cutting your hair for a wedding?
Oh this dear sweet girl. She didn't put her dad in any situation . Her shitty excuse for a stepmother sounds like she's jealous of her beauty honestly . Why would she try to tear you down and make you look bad? No long beautiful hair, light makeup , no lashes, no heels ? Yeah she's got problems and hopefully her father realizes so before they marry
Do. Not. Cut. Your. Hair. If you give into this woman she will make you give in more and more. She isn't even trying to compliment your hair by saying a bun or pony tail would be fine either. I'm sure that you mentioned she didn't make demands on the other bridesmaids, so don't. Life your life. Your mother took care of you and left you cash to get by probably knowing this might happen. You look in that mirror an see your connection to your mother in your hair. Keep it alive. I'm sure you will become a woman your mother would be proud of by standing your ground.
The whole situation is really ick. I mean dating 8 months after losing his wife? wtf to that. Then to let this new woman make such a ridiculous demand on his daughter is WAY out of line. I hope she sees these comments, don't cut your hair. That "woman" has major issues and you have done nothing wrong
This just screams "I am a jealous and insecure 28-yo woman who hates that my future stepdaughter is pretty."
She looks like her mom. She's jealous of her mom, who died.
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First off, when I read that dad started dating his fiancee only eight months after his wife died that annoyed me, but then reading that this selfish bitch is making demands on the OP made me mad. I don't care how perfect you want your wedding to be, you don't make demands on people, especially your fifteen year old stepdaughter. Her mother and she bonded over her hair and if she shouldn't have to cut it. If stepmom is afraid of being upstaged by a child then she has bigger problems. Dad needs to tell stepmom that the girl will be keeping her long hair and that stepmom is to leave her alone. Also this girl should never be in any room alone with this unhinged woman.
Wow, Step Mom (roughly twice the age of the poster) has a bitch fit and complains to Dad (roughly twice the age of Step Mom). Just the concept has so many issues wrapped up in it...
Why do people do this? This young lady will be your family. Absolutely dastardly. You don't put your family through that. A wedding isn't some vanity show for you to indulge on being the star. It is a union of two people and families.
Your dad should not marry this bitch. There is more going on here than a "wedding." This is going to be an emotionally and financially abusive relationship. She has no boundaries and she is now trying to become dominant in this family. Trust me on this, it will NOT stop there. It will become worse ESPECIALLY if she gets pregnant. If your dad will not put a stop to this, you might as well go ahead and move out NOW. She is going to make sure that you have NO place in his life.
Don't worry! They'll get divorced around 1-2 years after their baby is born. Just stay strong until then.
42 year old husband, 27 year old wife. No, that's not sus at all, nooo. Yeah, I know age is just a number, and the older you get, the less it matters, but dude is seriously robbing the cradle, here. Guessing the marriage will be over sooner than it would take OP to grow her hair back. So...NTA. And do not cut your hair, OP.
Stick to your guns. Don't cut your hair. Totally NTA. Offering to wear a bun or a braid is going above and beyond the call of duty, as is letting her dictate flats and light makeup. If you are not in the bridal party, then as long as you follow the dress code, and don't wear white, as bride or imminent step-mother, she does not get a say. I would suggest this is a good time to draw some boundries. Tell your Dad you love him, you want him to be happy, and you want to be at his wedding, but you will not be cutting your hair.
I would not cut it, OF COURSE. And I would put a temporary blue rinse in it - or ya know, whatever the color scheme it - and attend the wedding. Yes, I am that immature. :)
That's not immature at all. It would serve this woman right.
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WTF, you don't ask people to cut their hair or make any other long-term changes to their appearance to take part in your stupid wedding. Hair takes a lot of time to grow, it simply isn't worth it to do it for the sake of a few hours spent on your wedding reception.
I hate that brides think they can ask people to make major changes to their appearance just for one day. This bride is for sure jealous and is trying to assert her own will on the teenager. She should not cut her hair, her dad should stand up for her but probably won't and sadly she will have to get used to that. I was once asked by an aunt to perm my hair for her wedding aged 15. I refused, it caused major rows but I stood my ground that if I wanted a perm I'd have one but as I didn't I shouldn't have to wreck my hair for someone else!
I would never cut my hair for anyone. It took me 12 years to grow it about a foot (extremely slow-growing hair) and I'm not cutting it any time soon.
I don't see the part where it says the dad has taken Alice's side, only the part where the OP says she feels it would put him in a tight spot (if he were to be asked). Maybe he doesn't even know about it. Has he actually said anything?
If it's not fake, this is from the evil stepmom: To make the long story short. I told Greg about what happened and he was very understanding of my feelings. He apologized to me and said he will talk to his daughter. AITA? Like seriously is it too hard to give in to the wishes of the bride as it's my special day? I know Holly is going to try her best to look like her mother and steal everyone's attention from me on my day.
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OP's dad is marrying a woman just 7 years older than his daughter. I'd tell step monster to pound sand. And I'd show up to the wedding in heels and stunning makeup and hair piled high in an updo, just for spite.
Okay, sounds like daddy got himself another child instead of a new woman.
Nope...don't cut your hair..You've already said you won't wear heels or false eyelashes. Your stepmother to be is quite young and obviously hasn't matured enough as she's jealous of a fifteen year old offspring. If she loved your dad she would just want you there and it wouldn't matter what you looked like.
Her emancipated, run away. Your dad is insane and clearly doesn't love you.
No. Where is the father in all this? Suppose he thinks he's the s**t for marrying a 28 yo
Something doesn’t feel true about this letter. IF it’s not fake, why aren’t we hearing about where the Dad is in all this? And a few other questions…
We did hear about dad. He told her to cut her hair to shut his fiancee up.
Load More Replies... There is a lot going o here. First, do not be mad at the stepmom for being with your dad too soon after you mom passed. That should be something you discuss with your dad, not the woman he met. Second, what father in their right mind would let their new future wife treat their child like this?! Or anyone treat their child like this. This is so sad.
Just Wow! The nerve of this POS. Who gave her the God given right to demand such things? She is totally insecure in her own life. You should not cut your hair, as it is something you and your Mom bonded . I dont even think you should opt out of heels and fake lashes if that's what you prefer. She has absolutely no right to make such demands. When you married someone with children, you have to accept the children as well just as they are. It's a package deal. Just Wow. I am disgusted by this lady, if you can call her that. Definitely NTA at all. Stand your ground!
She has a mental age of about 12. Remember, the father was already 14 years old before his new wife was BORN.
Load More Replies... That poor girl. All the comment aside about the step mum (who is a bitch btw) I really feel for this young lady. She is between the rock and the hard place. I wish I could give her a hug.
I had a step-monster like this growing up. Truly the evilest, most selfish, nastiest person on the planet. As the daughter, there really is nothing you can do but count your time and hope they get divorced someday.
Load More Replies... NTA. You simply do not decide about your guests' looks, end of the discussion. (Maybe apart from not wanting your guests to wear a white dress...) Stepmom should try to get professional help if she feels so insecure about her looks that a teenager might upstage her on her own wedding.
I would say go live with relatives and visit your dad on the holidays because this bitch is crazy and you don’t need this s**t for the last few years of your childhood honestly. If you got options take them.
Say yes to all her demands and the day of the wedding go with your gorgeous hair free-flowing, in the highest heels that your comfortable with and the make up that you want with the longest lashes! If you're worried about a 15 year old up staging you, clearly you're as beautiful on the outside you are on the inside (none). F*****g psychotic b*Tch! And if your dad isn't putting his foot down, then I'm sorry but do not conform to any of her demands. Being a bride dies not give you permission to be a bitch!
Her hair is not the problem here. The problem is, her dad is marrying a narcissistic, immature, insecure and manipulative woman who is going to cause nothing but problems for him and his daughter and the family. Anyone who demands your child changes their appearance to make you herself look good is not marriage material. They both should run. In the meantime, this lovely young girl should a) have a serious talk with dad if it's not already too late and b) do what she wants with her own body/hair/makeup/appearance.
I agree. From the moment that the girlfriend didn’t want to connect with the daughter the dad should have slowed or ended the relation. I don’t have or plan to have children but I would never put a partner before them. Children need to be protected.
Load More Replies... Imagine a grown ass woman worrying about being upstaged by a teenager. Yeah, I don't see this marriage lasting very long. The audacity to just demand that someone cut their hair.
It might last forever. Dear old Dad seems ready to throw his daughter in the garbage because he's being led by the d**k.
Load More Replies... Damn, that woman is on the path of the archetype evil step mom out of a fairytale. Don't cut your hair, don't accept any food (especially apples) from her and I hope, you don't have to sleep in the kitchen. Only half kidding here. Also, what is wrong with your spineless dad??? And I am so sorry, you lost your mom at such an early age. You two obviously loved and cared about each other.
I’m stuck on her being “accused of upstaging” her step-mom-to-be (bride). If the length of her hair is going to divert attention away from the bride, then the bride wants it to be less attractive. She’s, in essence, asking a 15 year-old child to become less attractive. How petty and insecure do you have to be to make a request like that?
Don't trust her. You may wake up one morning with a DIY pixie, or eating breakfast when she whips out the hedge trimmer.
I would suggest the young lady takes a long time talking to her dad about this situation and ask him if he's sure about marrying someone who tried to punish his daughter? So I never understood the "perfect day" s**t, you marry to share your whole life with a person you love, not to have one "perfect day"?
Is there any way to stay with your mom's sister permanently? I would say that, given the situation, I wouldn't want to be stuck in a house like that. I would express your feelings to your father and if he gives you the "I don't care" attitude, look into staying with your aunt. And since you are 15, according to Georgia state law, anyone over the age of 25 can adopt you and you do not need your fathers consent to do so.
Wear the tallest heels you can find and buy a bright pink wig. And huge falsies. HAHAHAHAAH.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/pam67x/aita_i_asked_my_future_stepdaughter_to_cut_her/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source= About halfway down is an autobot copy of the question as the original was deleted.
Load More Replies... On previous AITA's, the entire world has decided that brides who want their bridesmaids to cut their hair so they won't upstage the bride are The Asshole, as is any bride who makes outrageous requests because they want "everything to be perfect". However, this bride has managed to beat all the brides who just stick it to the bridal party who volunteered to be there, and so has this girl's indifferent father.
Get out of there as soon as you can. Spend the WEEK of the wedding at your aunt's. Have no part in any of this wedding or the marriage.
I totally thought this was about the step-daughter refusing to give her stepmom a free haircut.
At least the Stepdaughter was given some kind of warning. When I was bridesmaid at my sister's wedding I had to have my hair short and in this hideous style that had some kind of bump on the top all just so her equally horrible wish bone style headdress could sit properly on my head. I looked TERRIBLE. It took nearly a year for my hair to grow back to normal but as it had been chopped and layered it took longer again until my hair was long enough where it had been the shortest so I could have cut again and have it all the same length. In the meantime I had the most horrible horrible hair and got bullied mercilessly about it at school. All just because it was what my sister wanted on her wedding day. Even when I was getting it cut for the wedding I said multiple times I didn't want it that way but I may as well have said nothing as neither mum or my sister listened to me. It was my sister's day and I just had to put up with it.
I´m so sorry. Who does this to someone over a f***** day??
Load More Replies... NTA! Jeez, the attitude from the fiancee is terrible. Small changes in appearance are perfectly okay, but cutting your hair for a wedding?
Oh this dear sweet girl. She didn't put her dad in any situation . Her shitty excuse for a stepmother sounds like she's jealous of her beauty honestly . Why would she try to tear you down and make you look bad? No long beautiful hair, light makeup , no lashes, no heels ? Yeah she's got problems and hopefully her father realizes so before they marry
Do. Not. Cut. Your. Hair. If you give into this woman she will make you give in more and more. She isn't even trying to compliment your hair by saying a bun or pony tail would be fine either. I'm sure that you mentioned she didn't make demands on the other bridesmaids, so don't. Life your life. Your mother took care of you and left you cash to get by probably knowing this might happen. You look in that mirror an see your connection to your mother in your hair. Keep it alive. I'm sure you will become a woman your mother would be proud of by standing your ground.
The whole situation is really ick. I mean dating 8 months after losing his wife? wtf to that. Then to let this new woman make such a ridiculous demand on his daughter is WAY out of line. I hope she sees these comments, don't cut your hair. That "woman" has major issues and you have done nothing wrong
This just screams "I am a jealous and insecure 28-yo woman who hates that my future stepdaughter is pretty."
She looks like her mom. She's jealous of her mom, who died.
Load More Replies... First off, when I read that dad started dating his fiancee only eight months after his wife died that annoyed me, but then reading that this selfish bitch is making demands on the OP made me mad. I don't care how perfect you want your wedding to be, you don't make demands on people, especially your fifteen year old stepdaughter. Her mother and she bonded over her hair and if she shouldn't have to cut it. If stepmom is afraid of being upstaged by a child then she has bigger problems. Dad needs to tell stepmom that the girl will be keeping her long hair and that stepmom is to leave her alone. Also this girl should never be in any room alone with this unhinged woman.
Wow, Step Mom (roughly twice the age of the poster) has a bitch fit and complains to Dad (roughly twice the age of Step Mom). Just the concept has so many issues wrapped up in it...
Why do people do this? This young lady will be your family. Absolutely dastardly. You don't put your family through that. A wedding isn't some vanity show for you to indulge on being the star. It is a union of two people and families.
Your dad should not marry this bitch. There is more going on here than a "wedding." This is going to be an emotionally and financially abusive relationship. She has no boundaries and she is now trying to become dominant in this family. Trust me on this, it will NOT stop there. It will become worse ESPECIALLY if she gets pregnant. If your dad will not put a stop to this, you might as well go ahead and move out NOW. She is going to make sure that you have NO place in his life.
Don't worry! They'll get divorced around 1-2 years after their baby is born. Just stay strong until then.
42 year old husband, 27 year old wife. No, that's not sus at all, nooo. Yeah, I know age is just a number, and the older you get, the less it matters, but dude is seriously robbing the cradle, here. Guessing the marriage will be over sooner than it would take OP to grow her hair back. So...NTA. And do not cut your hair, OP.
Stick to your guns. Don't cut your hair. Totally NTA. Offering to wear a bun or a braid is going above and beyond the call of duty, as is letting her dictate flats and light makeup. If you are not in the bridal party, then as long as you follow the dress code, and don't wear white, as bride or imminent step-mother, she does not get a say. I would suggest this is a good time to draw some boundries. Tell your Dad you love him, you want him to be happy, and you want to be at his wedding, but you will not be cutting your hair.
I would not cut it, OF COURSE. And I would put a temporary blue rinse in it - or ya know, whatever the color scheme it - and attend the wedding. Yes, I am that immature. :)
That's not immature at all. It would serve this woman right.
Load More Replies... WTF, you don't ask people to cut their hair or make any other long-term changes to their appearance to take part in your stupid wedding. Hair takes a lot of time to grow, it simply isn't worth it to do it for the sake of a few hours spent on your wedding reception.
I hate that brides think they can ask people to make major changes to their appearance just for one day. This bride is for sure jealous and is trying to assert her own will on the teenager. She should not cut her hair, her dad should stand up for her but probably won't and sadly she will have to get used to that. I was once asked by an aunt to perm my hair for her wedding aged 15. I refused, it caused major rows but I stood my ground that if I wanted a perm I'd have one but as I didn't I shouldn't have to wreck my hair for someone else!
I would never cut my hair for anyone. It took me 12 years to grow it about a foot (extremely slow-growing hair) and I'm not cutting it any time soon.
I don't see the part where it says the dad has taken Alice's side, only the part where the OP says she feels it would put him in a tight spot (if he were to be asked). Maybe he doesn't even know about it. Has he actually said anything?
If it's not fake, this is from the evil stepmom: To make the long story short. I told Greg about what happened and he was very understanding of my feelings. He apologized to me and said he will talk to his daughter. AITA? Like seriously is it too hard to give in to the wishes of the bride as it's my special day? I know Holly is going to try her best to look like her mother and steal everyone's attention from me on my day.
Load More Replies... OP's dad is marrying a woman just 7 years older than his daughter. I'd tell step monster to pound sand. And I'd show up to the wedding in heels and stunning makeup and hair piled high in an updo, just for spite.
Okay, sounds like daddy got himself another child instead of a new woman.
Nope...don't cut your hair..You've already said you won't wear heels or false eyelashes. Your stepmother to be is quite young and obviously hasn't matured enough as she's jealous of a fifteen year old offspring. If she loved your dad she would just want you there and it wouldn't matter what you looked like.
Her emancipated, run away. Your dad is insane and clearly doesn't love you.
No. Where is the father in all this? Suppose he thinks he's the s**t for marrying a 28 yo
Something doesn’t feel true about this letter. IF it’s not fake, why aren’t we hearing about where the Dad is in all this? And a few other questions…
We did hear about dad. He told her to cut her hair to shut his fiancee up.
Load More Replies... There is a lot going o here. First, do not be mad at the stepmom for being with your dad too soon after you mom passed. That should be something you discuss with your dad, not the woman he met. Second, what father in their right mind would let their new future wife treat their child like this?! Or anyone treat their child like this. This is so sad.
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