The Internet Is Ripping Apart This Gamer Dad Who ‘Forgot’ To Change Baby’s Diaper For 9 Hours And Tried To Put The Blame On The Wife
It’s a tricky business being a working parent. Balancing work and home priorities, juggling multiple tasks, getting the kids to school on time, and taking care of a newborn all while trying to not lose yourself in the process. That’s quite a handful! Thankfully, moms and dads keep their sanity intact by supporting each other, helping out, and dividing responsibilities equally. Well, usually. Because as one post shared on the AITA subreddit proves, that’s not always the case.
A 35-year-old woman has turned to the internet to ask for advice after an infuriating situation, which involved her husband neglecting their children over a video game. As she detailed in the story, her husband started spending more time gaming and forgetting to take care of himself and the household.
As the man told her this won’t be a problem, she trusted him enough to leave everything in his care while she was at work. And regretted it instantly after she came home to find her 6-month-old daughter wearing a full diaper for 9 hours while “he was busy playing.” Scroll down to read how the situation escalated below, and be sure to let us know what you think about it in the comments. Then don’t miss the chat we had about the importance of dividing tasks equally with relationship coach Sam Owen.
After her husband started spending time playing video games, this woman believed him when he said it wouldn’t become a problem
Image credits: Tima Miroshnichenko (not the actual photo)
Until the day she came home to a crying 6-month-old baby and found out her husband “forgot” to take care of her because he was “busy” gaming
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/57675997
Parenthood may come with countless joys, but it also poses a fair share of challenges. As working parents face additional difficulties balancing their work and home lives, sharing the load fairly is crucial for the well-being of their children, partners, and themselves. However, this is easier said than done. In many families where both partners work full time, mothers are picking up more day-to-day duties in the running of the household
As women are still expected to do the bulk of childcare and domestic work, how important is it for couples to divide duties fairly? And how can they find the right balance? We reached out to an expert.
Sam Owen, a global relationship coach who makes it her mission to help people achieve their well-being goals, explained that both partners need to feel appreciated and know that their partner is there to help for a happy relationship to exist.
“That can mean different things to different individuals and couples,” the renowned author of Happy Relationships: 7 simple rules to create harmony and growth told Bored Panda. “Aim for a balance that feels fair to both of you. Even if technically those tasks may not seem equal to an onlooker, they may feel like the right split for you because of each of your strengths and preferences. Ultimately, you have to come up with relationship rules that work for the two of you regardless of what society thinks.”
It’s even more complicated for mothers who feel they are disproportionately responsible for looking after the house and the children: they “experience lower relationship satisfaction and more of a strain on their well-being.”
When partners are not pulling their weight or not valuing their other half’s time equally to their own, it usually sparks arguments. “Over time, it can lead to resentment and, ultimately, it can lead to a breakup or divorce (particularly, as one study found, when the wife feels there is an imbalance).”
The relationship coach explained it’s not only about what a partner is doing (or not doing) but also why they are choosing to behave this way. “Such selfish behavior, as is the case in this scenario, shows a complete lack of interest in the child and the family unit which needs to be addressed.”
“It could be that he is purposely breaking the relationship down in the hopes of ending it, or rather, in the hopes that she’ll eventually end it,” Owen added. “This could be an early warning sign of a looming drawn-out breakup/divorce.”
The fact that the husband neglected his children over a video game and then blamed his spouse for not reminding him about what he was supposed to do begs a further discussion.
According to Owen, partners who care would never repeatedly forget to do something that’s important to their loved ones. “Therefore, if your partner has a habit of not doing something, whatever the excuse, and then even worse, they are blaming you for it, their behaviors are telling you they don’t care enough to create a happy, healthy relationship with you.”
“It can be easy to make excuses for your loved ones at first, before you realize what is going on, so don’t beat yourself up about that. But once you do know, deal with the issue or it will worsen the relationship if left unchecked,” the coach advised.
For people who are frequently being told that things are their fault or those who are asked to take the blame for something they didn’t do wrong, coach Owen suggested reaching out to someone. “Because chances are, you are in a toxic relationship, whether you’re dealing with a narcissist or a narcissistic abuser.”
If you ever find yourself in similar situations with your partner, Owen advised you to come up with relationship rules that work for you both. But if they keep failing to honor them, “you need to uncover what is really plaguing your relationship.”
“Repeat offenders generally don’t have a memory problem, they either have another issue they will address with you if they want to save the relationship, or if they have a commitment problem and want the relationship to end, they may not admit it to you if they are manipulative or abusive. If their answers aren’t forthcoming or just don’t make sense, intuitively work out the truth for yourself based on their repeat behavior rather than their words,” Owen concluded.
The mother later continued the conversation in the comments, clarifying some details about the situation
Readers were appalled by the man’s behavior and criticized him for neglecting his children
that couldn't be my husband, cuz i woulda let that trifling a*s muhafucka AND his f****n enabling a*s mama know that i ain't the one. BOTH of y'all can catch these hands, cuz they equal opportunity. oh, and while you catching these hands, also catch these divorce papers...foh
sorry to be off-topic, but i just wanted to say i love your name! it's gorgeous!
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How do you ignore a screaming baby for 9 hours? Aside from the obvious stupidity of the action, how does it not drive you up the wall? You find a way to appease the baby just to make the noise stop. Even if he was only responding to the baby out of selfishness.
They did not. 1 year old post, throwaway account that was suspended. This was all fiction from a troll and/or attention seeker, very common in that subreddit, 1 in 10 posts are (maybe) real.
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Imagine if instead of buying a PS5 and spending all his time gaming, the husband had started doing drugs. Because the result would have been more or less exactly the same. He's addicted and should admit it to himself instead whining and trying to play the victim.
I met a guy who was getting off heroin in a mental institution. He said he'd come home and his gf wouldn't do a thing and their kid was eating out of her diaper. The kid was put with other ppl. He could see her once every 10 weeks.
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He left a baby crying for 9 hours and when his wife gets mad, she's 'overreacting'? How does that work? And what about the 6-year-old? When I was 6, I couldn't go 5 minutes without needing to do something. Like what was she doing? This whole situation really irks me. She's definitely NTA.
I have a 5 yo and I'm guessing the 6yo was playing in the other room. He probably gave her snacks to eat. If you give my kids a few bags of chips, they are happy the entire day
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Well, the mom sort of explains the son. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Oh, and get a divorce. Baby-man isn't mature enough for children, and the children are better off without a father who abuses them ... and yes, neglect is abuse. I sincerely, sincerely, sincerely wish you the best.
Unless he's working unnaturally long hours on those three nights that he works, he's not pulling his own weight in the job department either. He sounds like he has an addiction to gaming and is possibly depressed (not taking care of his dental hygiene). I would insist on either counseling or divorce. But I honestly don't see a lot of hope for this relationship because he is so deeply in denial that he has a problem.
I thought my husband was bad!! He did the same thing but it was only 4 hours and he hadn't fed the baby either. Evidently our LO didn't cry the entire time and was happy when I got home but I was still livid. Wasn't there another post recently about a dad who ignored his baby while streaming for 4 hours? I work from home and take care of the kids alone, I get needing to take a break and do something amusing like playing games. I bought myself a Switch to do just that. But my kids always come first. Games can be paused, people can not
NTA!! tell him to sell the game if that’s what is stopping him from being a good father. he’s just being neglectful and ignorant of his daughter. that’s 9 HOURS without being changed. that’s horrible!
NTA! If he wants to act like a child (you should've reminded me over the phone etc etc) then you need to treat him like one, take away the ps5 cords, disks, controllers, until he actually tries to be a parent. Now don't get me wrong! I absolutely love my ps5 but I don't FORGET to do stuff! Like- letting my dog out is way more important than a 20 minute apex legends match- now like what someone said in the comments of the reddit, YWBTA if you left the kid with him again-
I absolutely agree, my parents take cords and stuff away from me all the time. what does ywbta mean though?
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People, remember that https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/ is almost exclusively used by trolls to post horrible stories to make you outraged. This was one from a year ago with an account that was soon after suspeneded, so it's 100% certain pure fiction. Don't feel bad about an imaginary baby or angry against an imaginary gamer dad. Feel bad about Ieva Gailiūtė and Ilona Baliūnaitė posting some ancient troll produced flamebait on this site instead of doing some real work.
If the husband isn't even taking care of himself, it sounds like he has serious addiction but with that said, his treatment of his own child is nothing less than neglect. My response would be an immediate ultimatum - He has to accept he has a problem and he has to get help. If not, I wouldn't hesitate to divorce.
I had DCFS called on me because, apparently even though I was up nursing my daughter every 2 hours and then working full time, her father should not be expected to stay awake and watch her after an evening shift. so I get 4 hours of sleep, he gets 6 hours, but I'm the problem. Even when he didn't work, he slept. He has 2 kids from a previous relationship and expected me to take care of them on his weekends. One weekend I told him to wake up or he'd be short a child.
Coincidentally, this might be the reason why he has "two kids from a previous relationship ". You know. Because he's a deadbeat. I'm sorry you had to put up with this and hope the DCFS people spelled it out for him in simple enough terms what the role of a father is and what kinds of cases they need to attend to.
Load More Replies... These NTA posts are s**t. Stop stealing from Reddit and go find us cat pictures instead.
Even if its fiction this example is far from unrealistic. Just like with any addiction its either leave it or accept it. You can't have it both ways. I would say its either the ps5 or a divorce at this point. Not saying its never ok with gaming but once it reaches this stage of addiction it wont be possible to scale back to reasonable amounts of time.
This is the easiest you NTA but husband TA. I will never understand this craze for gaming. He just lost some precious hours where he could have made memories and bonded with his daughter. Feeding and cleaning are the bare minimum, and he is an a*****e for ignoring his duties.
I love my PS5 but I don't neglect my apartment or my cat for it. Kids aren't my thing and I'm childfree, but even I know you need to change the diaper asap. The dude is a manchild and his mom really is an enabler. It sounds like he's not pulling his weight in the job department either. "But you didn't remind me to do it" stopped working with my parents when I was in elementary school. So the mom has to do emotional labor too.
Sad thing is, I think this would be my other brother, one who does not have kids, the other has 4, if he ever got married. He would either be busy at work, like my dad is with overtime and wanting money, sleeping and being a hermit in his room, or his games on his PC. It's me, my mom and my brother. He doesn't even help with chores, especially when asked 🤦🏻. He gets pissed off when being asked to do something, nicely, whether it's me or my mom. He'll even gaslight me or my mom like our dad does to me and used to do to my mom. The dude maybe cleans his room every, what, 4 to 5 months? It's absolutely disgusting. We have a dog, and he doesn't help when needing to clean up after him, only if it's taking him out on walks, which is rare anyways, same with baths. I'm the main care taker of our dog, and I'm not complaining about him, just my brother. Sometimes I wish for an emoji smacking another emoji.
Sounds like my ex. It's only going to get worse. He'll continue to neglect his hygiene and health, his kids and just be someone who leaves for work 3 nights a week, comes home and just rot on the couch. He'll start complaining how broke he is because his money will start going towards microtransactions and more gaming stuff. He may even develop a reliance on other substances than sugar and caffeine. Shame on his mom for coddling this bad behaviour but that's where it stems from. He needs to go.
I’d have thrown the PS5 against the wall. What’s he gonna do, sue me? We’re married - what’s mine is yours, buddy.
The mother in law says he can do whatever he wants because he “works hard to earn a living” but the reason OP wasn’t home all day is because SO DOES SHE!
This just reminds me of the post about the streamer who ignored his kid while his wife was grocery shopping and complained that she "ruined his reputation" when she rightfully went off on him while he was on stream.
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My friend was married to this guy. Eventually she divorced him. He didn’t want to pay child support so he sued for 50% custody and for her to pay child support to him. When he had the kids, he left the baby in his crib all day and the toddler in a pull up, which he never changed, so he could play video games. My friend knew all this but couldn’t prove anything. Her lawyer told her she could fight him in court and win eventually but in the meantime, the kids would be stuck. So she gave him all the assets including the equity in the house and a cash payment from her parents and she waived child support in exchange for 100% custody. He can see the kids whenever he wants which works out to once every few months. She had to live with her parents for a few years to get back on her feet but it was all worth it to be rid of him.
Holy s**t! So, my ex husband was a gamer (not why we divorced, just part of the story), and he LOVED to play this one game with his college buddies. When we had our first child, he would literally hold him in his arms while he played. When the was old enough, he would sit on dads lap and watch in total wonder. My ex NEVER neglected his sons over a game- he actually had them involved- he never had any brothers or sisters, but he pulled that whole "here's YOUR controller!" And it not be hooked up lol. This guy is barely human- 9 hours on gaming and there's 2 children in the home, unattended and SOMEHOW he's not at fault? What?? Did he sleep at all during the day? Doesn't he have a job at night? Why can't he brush his damn teeth? And they're right- he's a 3 rd child to her. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to be married to a dude who presents himself as a child.
Don't call your mother, call HIS mother to watch the kids while your at work and let Her watch him sit there and do nothing, then she'll understand
I was married gif 18 years to a man similar to this. Run now. Take the kids and get out! Being on your own is FANTASTIC!!!!
Pack the kids. Move back to moms. Screw off the man child. Or better yet put the game at his moms an let her see how long he plays when ur at work. See if he helps her at all. But I'd call this game over for this relationship regardless
This is a fully grown man with children meaning he has a kuleana (responsibility) to care for them. It is not your job to care for then all the time. I would sit down and talk to him and negotiate screen time I know he is fully grown but it seems a ps5 time restriction is required at this point in time.
When i was a baby my father was a mr mom by day, took college classes in the evening and worked the graveyard shift by night and he STILL made me nice warm meals and otherwise cared for me excellently.
I'm not a psychologist nor a psychiatrist, but this guy sounds like he has depression and a ganing addiction. Not sure which came first, but I think he needs professional intervention. In the meantime, the OP needs to do what's healthiest and safest for herself and the kids. This is a s**t situation all around. I hope she gets the support she needs and that he gets the professional help I think he needs.
Document the neglect. Find a good lawyer. Get the evidence you’ll need to ensure full custody. Do it quietly until you’re ready to serve papers. Then serve the papers and go. Stay with your mom and take the kids.
I feel like this is a repost, but I agree that the OP is obviously NTA. This is not a new dad who may be struggling or isn't sure about things. There is a six year old child, that I assume he managed to care for up until this point. He shouldn't need a reminder. Also I guarantee he is spinning his own truth to the MIL about what is going on.
Child lock the router and don't tell him the password. change it once a month and make sure you don't use regular words. Use something like CommeDastranoxus13254. NEVER unlock it until he has done enough to help by your standards
If the OP doesn’t leave him then she’s the AH. It’s not even a question.
Divorce him and he can go live with his mother, then maybe she'll see why he's divorced (but probably not, he'll just say he's playing video games because he has nothing better to do now.)
that couldn't be my husband, cuz i woulda let that trifling a*s muhafucka AND his f****n enabling a*s mama know that i ain't the one. BOTH of y'all can catch these hands, cuz they equal opportunity. oh, and while you catching these hands, also catch these divorce papers...foh
sorry to be off-topic, but i just wanted to say i love your name! it's gorgeous!
Load More Replies... How do you ignore a screaming baby for 9 hours? Aside from the obvious stupidity of the action, how does it not drive you up the wall? You find a way to appease the baby just to make the noise stop. Even if he was only responding to the baby out of selfishness.
They did not. 1 year old post, throwaway account that was suspended. This was all fiction from a troll and/or attention seeker, very common in that subreddit, 1 in 10 posts are (maybe) real.
Load More Replies... Imagine if instead of buying a PS5 and spending all his time gaming, the husband had started doing drugs. Because the result would have been more or less exactly the same. He's addicted and should admit it to himself instead whining and trying to play the victim.
I met a guy who was getting off heroin in a mental institution. He said he'd come home and his gf wouldn't do a thing and their kid was eating out of her diaper. The kid was put with other ppl. He could see her once every 10 weeks.
Load More Replies... He left a baby crying for 9 hours and when his wife gets mad, she's 'overreacting'? How does that work? And what about the 6-year-old? When I was 6, I couldn't go 5 minutes without needing to do something. Like what was she doing? This whole situation really irks me. She's definitely NTA.
I have a 5 yo and I'm guessing the 6yo was playing in the other room. He probably gave her snacks to eat. If you give my kids a few bags of chips, they are happy the entire day
Load More Replies... Well, the mom sort of explains the son. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Oh, and get a divorce. Baby-man isn't mature enough for children, and the children are better off without a father who abuses them ... and yes, neglect is abuse. I sincerely, sincerely, sincerely wish you the best.
Unless he's working unnaturally long hours on those three nights that he works, he's not pulling his own weight in the job department either. He sounds like he has an addiction to gaming and is possibly depressed (not taking care of his dental hygiene). I would insist on either counseling or divorce. But I honestly don't see a lot of hope for this relationship because he is so deeply in denial that he has a problem.
I thought my husband was bad!! He did the same thing but it was only 4 hours and he hadn't fed the baby either. Evidently our LO didn't cry the entire time and was happy when I got home but I was still livid. Wasn't there another post recently about a dad who ignored his baby while streaming for 4 hours? I work from home and take care of the kids alone, I get needing to take a break and do something amusing like playing games. I bought myself a Switch to do just that. But my kids always come first. Games can be paused, people can not
NTA!! tell him to sell the game if that’s what is stopping him from being a good father. he’s just being neglectful and ignorant of his daughter. that’s 9 HOURS without being changed. that’s horrible!
NTA! If he wants to act like a child (you should've reminded me over the phone etc etc) then you need to treat him like one, take away the ps5 cords, disks, controllers, until he actually tries to be a parent. Now don't get me wrong! I absolutely love my ps5 but I don't FORGET to do stuff! Like- letting my dog out is way more important than a 20 minute apex legends match- now like what someone said in the comments of the reddit, YWBTA if you left the kid with him again-
I absolutely agree, my parents take cords and stuff away from me all the time. what does ywbta mean though?
Load More Replies... People, remember that https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/ is almost exclusively used by trolls to post horrible stories to make you outraged. This was one from a year ago with an account that was soon after suspeneded, so it's 100% certain pure fiction. Don't feel bad about an imaginary baby or angry against an imaginary gamer dad. Feel bad about Ieva Gailiūtė and Ilona Baliūnaitė posting some ancient troll produced flamebait on this site instead of doing some real work.
If the husband isn't even taking care of himself, it sounds like he has serious addiction but with that said, his treatment of his own child is nothing less than neglect. My response would be an immediate ultimatum - He has to accept he has a problem and he has to get help. If not, I wouldn't hesitate to divorce.
I had DCFS called on me because, apparently even though I was up nursing my daughter every 2 hours and then working full time, her father should not be expected to stay awake and watch her after an evening shift. so I get 4 hours of sleep, he gets 6 hours, but I'm the problem. Even when he didn't work, he slept. He has 2 kids from a previous relationship and expected me to take care of them on his weekends. One weekend I told him to wake up or he'd be short a child.
Coincidentally, this might be the reason why he has "two kids from a previous relationship ". You know. Because he's a deadbeat. I'm sorry you had to put up with this and hope the DCFS people spelled it out for him in simple enough terms what the role of a father is and what kinds of cases they need to attend to.
Load More Replies... These NTA posts are s**t. Stop stealing from Reddit and go find us cat pictures instead.
Even if its fiction this example is far from unrealistic. Just like with any addiction its either leave it or accept it. You can't have it both ways. I would say its either the ps5 or a divorce at this point. Not saying its never ok with gaming but once it reaches this stage of addiction it wont be possible to scale back to reasonable amounts of time.
This is the easiest you NTA but husband TA. I will never understand this craze for gaming. He just lost some precious hours where he could have made memories and bonded with his daughter. Feeding and cleaning are the bare minimum, and he is an a*****e for ignoring his duties.
I love my PS5 but I don't neglect my apartment or my cat for it. Kids aren't my thing and I'm childfree, but even I know you need to change the diaper asap. The dude is a manchild and his mom really is an enabler. It sounds like he's not pulling his weight in the job department either. "But you didn't remind me to do it" stopped working with my parents when I was in elementary school. So the mom has to do emotional labor too.
Sad thing is, I think this would be my other brother, one who does not have kids, the other has 4, if he ever got married. He would either be busy at work, like my dad is with overtime and wanting money, sleeping and being a hermit in his room, or his games on his PC. It's me, my mom and my brother. He doesn't even help with chores, especially when asked 🤦🏻. He gets pissed off when being asked to do something, nicely, whether it's me or my mom. He'll even gaslight me or my mom like our dad does to me and used to do to my mom. The dude maybe cleans his room every, what, 4 to 5 months? It's absolutely disgusting. We have a dog, and he doesn't help when needing to clean up after him, only if it's taking him out on walks, which is rare anyways, same with baths. I'm the main care taker of our dog, and I'm not complaining about him, just my brother. Sometimes I wish for an emoji smacking another emoji.
Sounds like my ex. It's only going to get worse. He'll continue to neglect his hygiene and health, his kids and just be someone who leaves for work 3 nights a week, comes home and just rot on the couch. He'll start complaining how broke he is because his money will start going towards microtransactions and more gaming stuff. He may even develop a reliance on other substances than sugar and caffeine. Shame on his mom for coddling this bad behaviour but that's where it stems from. He needs to go.
I’d have thrown the PS5 against the wall. What’s he gonna do, sue me? We’re married - what’s mine is yours, buddy.
The mother in law says he can do whatever he wants because he “works hard to earn a living” but the reason OP wasn’t home all day is because SO DOES SHE!
This just reminds me of the post about the streamer who ignored his kid while his wife was grocery shopping and complained that she "ruined his reputation" when she rightfully went off on him while he was on stream.
I am a professional online trade expert/portfolio manager and also a member of an entrepreneur community reaching out to the public through online platforms, in a quest to create awareness on crypto trading and how it can be of great investment benefit to aspiring internet entrepreneurs and investors. I would like to know if you are familiar with it ?. I can also teach how to earn on Forex and bitcoin trading for investors, and will love to tell you all more about our investment platform where you can invest funds as little as $ 200 and start earning $ 2000 weekly, a lot of people has benefited from this investment offer before and during the recent convid-19 virus, if you are going through financial difficulties and you need help paying bills, simply choose a suitable investment plan for yourself and start making profit weekly. Send us an email to start your investment, learn how to trade and earn online now. Email us: everettcrypto@hotmail.com
Hi everyone, I pray you read this in good health. To anyone with marital problems, divorce issues, business problems, financial problem, lost lover, spell to forget about your Ex, spell to find true love or any relationship related issues, you can contact SOLID SPELL CAST the ultimate spell caster. Contact him now.Read more: https://solidspellcast.wordpress.com
Goodness Gracious. Here is my story of how a great powerful man restored my sorrow to happiness. My husband just woke up and decided our marriage was over. For a few months now, Everett and i have not been going well because he was having an affair with his assistant at work. I loved my husband so much and decided to stay and work on our marriage. In a short time, Everett stopped coming home and his close friend told me he has another apartment where he live with her. I was hurt and went on seeking for help because Everett was different from the man i married 18 years ago. Luckily, i came across Ads about Priest Abu. The good Priest performed a reconciliation spell which returned Everett back and now we are both happy again with our boys. If you have issues like mine, contact Priest Abu. You can contact Priest Abu the ultimate spell caster. contact via solidspellcast@gmail.com or solidspellcast@yahoo.com
My friend was married to this guy. Eventually she divorced him. He didn’t want to pay child support so he sued for 50% custody and for her to pay child support to him. When he had the kids, he left the baby in his crib all day and the toddler in a pull up, which he never changed, so he could play video games. My friend knew all this but couldn’t prove anything. Her lawyer told her she could fight him in court and win eventually but in the meantime, the kids would be stuck. So she gave him all the assets including the equity in the house and a cash payment from her parents and she waived child support in exchange for 100% custody. He can see the kids whenever he wants which works out to once every few months. She had to live with her parents for a few years to get back on her feet but it was all worth it to be rid of him.
Holy s**t! So, my ex husband was a gamer (not why we divorced, just part of the story), and he LOVED to play this one game with his college buddies. When we had our first child, he would literally hold him in his arms while he played. When the was old enough, he would sit on dads lap and watch in total wonder. My ex NEVER neglected his sons over a game- he actually had them involved- he never had any brothers or sisters, but he pulled that whole "here's YOUR controller!" And it not be hooked up lol. This guy is barely human- 9 hours on gaming and there's 2 children in the home, unattended and SOMEHOW he's not at fault? What?? Did he sleep at all during the day? Doesn't he have a job at night? Why can't he brush his damn teeth? And they're right- he's a 3 rd child to her. And I don't know about you, but I don't want to be married to a dude who presents himself as a child.
Don't call your mother, call HIS mother to watch the kids while your at work and let Her watch him sit there and do nothing, then she'll understand
I was married gif 18 years to a man similar to this. Run now. Take the kids and get out! Being on your own is FANTASTIC!!!!
Pack the kids. Move back to moms. Screw off the man child. Or better yet put the game at his moms an let her see how long he plays when ur at work. See if he helps her at all. But I'd call this game over for this relationship regardless
This is a fully grown man with children meaning he has a kuleana (responsibility) to care for them. It is not your job to care for then all the time. I would sit down and talk to him and negotiate screen time I know he is fully grown but it seems a ps5 time restriction is required at this point in time.
When i was a baby my father was a mr mom by day, took college classes in the evening and worked the graveyard shift by night and he STILL made me nice warm meals and otherwise cared for me excellently.
I'm not a psychologist nor a psychiatrist, but this guy sounds like he has depression and a ganing addiction. Not sure which came first, but I think he needs professional intervention. In the meantime, the OP needs to do what's healthiest and safest for herself and the kids. This is a s**t situation all around. I hope she gets the support she needs and that he gets the professional help I think he needs.
Document the neglect. Find a good lawyer. Get the evidence you’ll need to ensure full custody. Do it quietly until you’re ready to serve papers. Then serve the papers and go. Stay with your mom and take the kids.
I feel like this is a repost, but I agree that the OP is obviously NTA. This is not a new dad who may be struggling or isn't sure about things. There is a six year old child, that I assume he managed to care for up until this point. He shouldn't need a reminder. Also I guarantee he is spinning his own truth to the MIL about what is going on.
Child lock the router and don't tell him the password. change it once a month and make sure you don't use regular words. Use something like CommeDastranoxus13254. NEVER unlock it until he has done enough to help by your standards
If the OP doesn’t leave him then she’s the AH. It’s not even a question.
Divorce him and he can go live with his mother, then maybe she'll see why he's divorced (but probably not, he'll just say he's playing video games because he has nothing better to do now.)
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