Woman Is So Depressed After Dad’s Death She Cries For 19 Days Straight, So Friends Decide To Make A Risky Move
Anthony Bourdain, Kate Spade and Inés Zorreguieta (younger sister to Queen Máxima of the Netherlands), three high-profile suicides occurred in the span of one week. The internet has been abuzz about suicide awareness/prevention and mental health in the United States. People have continued to tweet out the number for suicide hotlines and mantras about how if you are suffering to ‘reach out,’ but one twitter user explained that it is not always that simple. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the U.S and research from the CDC showed that more than half of people who died by suicide did not have mental health problems, but were suffering from an outside cause such as the loss of a job, relationship or the death of a loved one. In a Twitter thread user Sheila O’Malley shared her battle with depression following her dad’s death. In the story she highlights how people who suffer often can’t reach out. In her case Sheila’s friends noticed she was struggling and showed up. Through an amazing gesture they showed her she wasn’t alone. Others on Twitter thanked her for posting her story and commented with their similar experiences. Bored Panda has the entire Twitter thread below.
Sheila O’Malley shared the horrible battle with depression following her dad’s death
Other people started sharing their own stories:
Seriously! We should all be so lucky. Hold tight to them, Sheila!
Load More Replies...Sheila, you are so blessed. When I got depressed, all my so-called friends disappeared on me. So I'm jealous but really happy that you had some amazing people in your corner. God bless.
@Helena: I know what you mean. Sometimes people don't know what to say or do, so they say and do nothing. At a time when you need friends the most.
Load More Replies...Such a great story. After my Grandfather died, I was not able to grieve for 3 years. I wasn't even able to cry at his funeral (I grew up not showing emotion or crying in public). I lost about 15 pounds in 3 weeks because I wasn't able to eat. I was never close to my Dad, So Grampa was my Father figure. I understand why Sheila withdrew from everyone. It's part of the grieving process. I'm so happy for her that she has friends like this. A very inspiring story. :-( :-)
My first big loss was my grandfather too, my "Papa." I was only 13. I cried and cried and cried at the hospital. I wish I had a thicker skin; I've always been very softhearted. I wish I wasn't that way. But I'm too old to change....
Load More Replies...This is literally what life is all about.Checking on one another. Being there, for the good & the bad. I'm so glad you're friends helped you. Everyone would be so lucky to have friends like yours. I want to be a friend like yours to all the people I know & love. Thank you for sharing ❤️
WOW. i really, really, really wish that i had friends like these. glad to know that people like this exist.
My husband of almost 40 years died this February, after an upsetting move back to our hometown (which I am forever thankful for). If not for my kids, family and random new friends I don't think I would have made it. I can cry now, but I know there are people who care about me.
it's not depression it's morning. stop medicating grief, its natural.
You can mourn. You can grieve. You can be depressed. You can be all these things.
Load More Replies...After my mom died in 2012, our friends, since we lived away from family, had an early Thanksgiving dinner for me and my husband, as I didn’t feel like cooking or going anywhere. It was the nicest thing anyone ever did for me, after her death!
I have always posed this question: How many of your friends would respond and help if you had to scream for help at 2am or 3am? Those that will pitch up are your true friends. These friends that pitched up to help this woman are true friends.
God I'm crying. Wishing someone, anyone, would get me like that. So glad she is blessed in such a way. By such friends. So glad someone is.
My mom died the day before Mother's Day in 1977. (the last thing I need every year is a well-advertized reminder to "remember Mom") I still remember the one thing that really helped. A co-worker, whose father had died 2 months earlier, just walked up and gave me a hug. After hearing condolences for a week and having to respond to them, this silent act was more comforting than any words I could have heard.
This made me tear up, and also : if she has friends that great, it means she deserves them. I mean, she must be a very lovable person to have friends who do a thing like that !
I fight sever, chronic, treatment resistant depression. Lost my dad to AIDS in ‘94,my Mom to Alzheimer’s in November 2015. My brother has chosen to be an enemy, thinking he will win financially. He was right. He did. What an awful person. I dotnt have the resources for ketamine treatment, which I need. I do have a positive note: I have one friend (sadly he’s moving to another country at the end of June) who has been my rock through this. I lived in his house for 15 years, but when the depression hit, I already had severe back and joint pain. I was fat for the first time in my life. I couldn’t move or think. Bedridden for years. He actually cleared out my room which was horrific. It took him one day, I was tormented by it for years. So embarrassed and ashamed. My memory was shot, I was in constant pan. I’m afraid of having my one friiend leave. I have trouble with calls, email, alarm sound, phone sounds, phonecall, email, I panic. He has been a friend like Sheila’s.
That is amazing. You are so blessed to have such good friends. I hope you are doing better
Friendship takes a bit of effort. When someone, whether it's your Mum, Dad, sibling, friend, etc, dies, you have to put ALL your energy into coping with that. You have nothing left over to be able to functional properly in the day to day. The only thing that helps is time. Time to mourn, time to grieve, time to get back to your normal life.
AWWWW! The world needs more people like Sheila's. I hope Sheila's feeling better and still has all those AMAZING friends <3
I totally know how bad she grieved. I was just on the ground after my dad died. I have no words to describe the pain. I didn't know it was even possible to feel such powerful pain..... gravity got too much for me and I went down to the ground and stayed there. My kids picked me up, over and over. But my youngest daughter was married 4 months later and in the pictures, you can see the grief on my face. I look frozen stiff. I couldn't smile. I was still in shock and still suffering even on such a happy occasion as my daughters wedding. I was embarrassed that I grieved so much. I hated being utterly out of control. But you never know how something like that is gonna hit you until it happens. Fathers Day is coming. Love on your fathers while you still can.
Den Star: I was exactly the same when I lost my son. For years I couldn't function. People didn't understand and would say things like, "he's in a better place", or "He wouldn't want you to be like this." "You have other kids who need you." (like I didn't already know that) and "You need to get out of the house and do something." Then my sister really threw me a curve ball when I received a wedding invitation for her to be held on my son's birthday. It was a real kick in the stomach since it was one of those days of the year that the pain and grief were felt even more deeply. I didn't go. Some people were not understanding. One son said "I guess the dead are more important than the living." Just as you describe, I was embarrassed and out of control and there was no help for it. My daughter stood by me though and her son, my grandson who was only 7 at the time. I'm grateful for them.
Load More Replies...WOW. i really, really, really wish i had friends like this. glad to know they exist somewhere though.
So much love. Made me cry. I know first hand how a little kindness can start the healing.
When my husband passed away, my daughter was just beside herself in grief. It took her over a year to finally start to enjoy life again. At the time of his death I gave my daughter a diamond necklace and earrings that he had given me many years before. She had always loved it. I gave her and her brother and my two step daughters things that were meaningful to him and to me. I thought she would wear the diamonds with pride and that would help her in her grief period but a couple of months after his death she came to me and gave me back the necklace and the earrings. She said she was just so distraught that seeing the diamonds was just too much for her and she didn't feel like she really deserve them. My heart broke for her but I took the necklace and the earrings and put them away for safekeeping. About a year later I simply pick them up took them with me went to her house and left them for her. She started wearing them right away. She still loves her dad and miss him tremendously but she has going on with her life and is a much happier person today than she was in those days. Oh by the way, my husband was not her father he was her stepfather. But to her he was Dad.
Hey do you want someone to talk to? Anything, any joke, any silly minor things in life.
Load More Replies...Wow, you are SO lucky! I have lost everyone in my family, except my Mom. It's just me, her, my wonderful husband, and my sweet wonderful beagle. I lost the only 4 girlfriends I had in the span of one year, ending last year, all due to different types of cancer. I don't even have ONE friend left now. You are so lucky!! You have so many great friends, and they are ORGANIZED! I'd pay thousands for that! I hope you are feeling better. I lost my dad too, to a heart transplant that went wrong. There really is so much to live for-- time won't heal wounds, but they do hurt a teeny bit less as time goes on. Give yourself more time. And also, your apartment looks great, from what I can see of it! Awesome story with a good happy ending!!
@Molly: I can't even imagine suffering the losses you have had. You sound like a very strong and courageous person. I know you will reach a point where you will develop new friendships. I don't care what anyone says, BP is great "talk therapy." I call it "Caring and Sharing." (I have been criticised for commenting about personal things) Sending you a blessing. :-)
Load More Replies...Must be nice to have such loving, devoted and generous friends. I hope one day to make even one friend of this caliber. She’s one lucky person to have so much love and I’m glad to know she got the support she, and anyone, in her situation deserved. We all need this kind of support at one time or another in our lives but too often people go without the love and sense of community they need...myself included lol :(
May your Life is guided by light of your friends love. May god bless them all.
What an amazing bunch of friends!! They did so great, be grateful for their friendship forever <3 These people are really rare! Imagine, my "friends" just let me sit when first signs of my illness came up. I could not keep pace, I got left behind. Treasure your friends, thesy are amazing people!
That is a man and group of friends who are real. I have had strangers be of more help to me than family.
Such a sweet story, I'm glad for people in the world like these
Seriously! We should all be so lucky. Hold tight to them, Sheila!
Load More Replies...Sheila, you are so blessed. When I got depressed, all my so-called friends disappeared on me. So I'm jealous but really happy that you had some amazing people in your corner. God bless.
@Helena: I know what you mean. Sometimes people don't know what to say or do, so they say and do nothing. At a time when you need friends the most.
Load More Replies...Such a great story. After my Grandfather died, I was not able to grieve for 3 years. I wasn't even able to cry at his funeral (I grew up not showing emotion or crying in public). I lost about 15 pounds in 3 weeks because I wasn't able to eat. I was never close to my Dad, So Grampa was my Father figure. I understand why Sheila withdrew from everyone. It's part of the grieving process. I'm so happy for her that she has friends like this. A very inspiring story. :-( :-)
My first big loss was my grandfather too, my "Papa." I was only 13. I cried and cried and cried at the hospital. I wish I had a thicker skin; I've always been very softhearted. I wish I wasn't that way. But I'm too old to change....
Load More Replies...This is literally what life is all about.Checking on one another. Being there, for the good & the bad. I'm so glad you're friends helped you. Everyone would be so lucky to have friends like yours. I want to be a friend like yours to all the people I know & love. Thank you for sharing ❤️
WOW. i really, really, really wish that i had friends like these. glad to know that people like this exist.
My husband of almost 40 years died this February, after an upsetting move back to our hometown (which I am forever thankful for). If not for my kids, family and random new friends I don't think I would have made it. I can cry now, but I know there are people who care about me.
it's not depression it's morning. stop medicating grief, its natural.
You can mourn. You can grieve. You can be depressed. You can be all these things.
Load More Replies...After my mom died in 2012, our friends, since we lived away from family, had an early Thanksgiving dinner for me and my husband, as I didn’t feel like cooking or going anywhere. It was the nicest thing anyone ever did for me, after her death!
I have always posed this question: How many of your friends would respond and help if you had to scream for help at 2am or 3am? Those that will pitch up are your true friends. These friends that pitched up to help this woman are true friends.
God I'm crying. Wishing someone, anyone, would get me like that. So glad she is blessed in such a way. By such friends. So glad someone is.
My mom died the day before Mother's Day in 1977. (the last thing I need every year is a well-advertized reminder to "remember Mom") I still remember the one thing that really helped. A co-worker, whose father had died 2 months earlier, just walked up and gave me a hug. After hearing condolences for a week and having to respond to them, this silent act was more comforting than any words I could have heard.
This made me tear up, and also : if she has friends that great, it means she deserves them. I mean, she must be a very lovable person to have friends who do a thing like that !
I fight sever, chronic, treatment resistant depression. Lost my dad to AIDS in ‘94,my Mom to Alzheimer’s in November 2015. My brother has chosen to be an enemy, thinking he will win financially. He was right. He did. What an awful person. I dotnt have the resources for ketamine treatment, which I need. I do have a positive note: I have one friend (sadly he’s moving to another country at the end of June) who has been my rock through this. I lived in his house for 15 years, but when the depression hit, I already had severe back and joint pain. I was fat for the first time in my life. I couldn’t move or think. Bedridden for years. He actually cleared out my room which was horrific. It took him one day, I was tormented by it for years. So embarrassed and ashamed. My memory was shot, I was in constant pan. I’m afraid of having my one friiend leave. I have trouble with calls, email, alarm sound, phone sounds, phonecall, email, I panic. He has been a friend like Sheila’s.
That is amazing. You are so blessed to have such good friends. I hope you are doing better
Friendship takes a bit of effort. When someone, whether it's your Mum, Dad, sibling, friend, etc, dies, you have to put ALL your energy into coping with that. You have nothing left over to be able to functional properly in the day to day. The only thing that helps is time. Time to mourn, time to grieve, time to get back to your normal life.
AWWWW! The world needs more people like Sheila's. I hope Sheila's feeling better and still has all those AMAZING friends <3
I totally know how bad she grieved. I was just on the ground after my dad died. I have no words to describe the pain. I didn't know it was even possible to feel such powerful pain..... gravity got too much for me and I went down to the ground and stayed there. My kids picked me up, over and over. But my youngest daughter was married 4 months later and in the pictures, you can see the grief on my face. I look frozen stiff. I couldn't smile. I was still in shock and still suffering even on such a happy occasion as my daughters wedding. I was embarrassed that I grieved so much. I hated being utterly out of control. But you never know how something like that is gonna hit you until it happens. Fathers Day is coming. Love on your fathers while you still can.
Den Star: I was exactly the same when I lost my son. For years I couldn't function. People didn't understand and would say things like, "he's in a better place", or "He wouldn't want you to be like this." "You have other kids who need you." (like I didn't already know that) and "You need to get out of the house and do something." Then my sister really threw me a curve ball when I received a wedding invitation for her to be held on my son's birthday. It was a real kick in the stomach since it was one of those days of the year that the pain and grief were felt even more deeply. I didn't go. Some people were not understanding. One son said "I guess the dead are more important than the living." Just as you describe, I was embarrassed and out of control and there was no help for it. My daughter stood by me though and her son, my grandson who was only 7 at the time. I'm grateful for them.
Load More Replies...WOW. i really, really, really wish i had friends like this. glad to know they exist somewhere though.
So much love. Made me cry. I know first hand how a little kindness can start the healing.
When my husband passed away, my daughter was just beside herself in grief. It took her over a year to finally start to enjoy life again. At the time of his death I gave my daughter a diamond necklace and earrings that he had given me many years before. She had always loved it. I gave her and her brother and my two step daughters things that were meaningful to him and to me. I thought she would wear the diamonds with pride and that would help her in her grief period but a couple of months after his death she came to me and gave me back the necklace and the earrings. She said she was just so distraught that seeing the diamonds was just too much for her and she didn't feel like she really deserve them. My heart broke for her but I took the necklace and the earrings and put them away for safekeeping. About a year later I simply pick them up took them with me went to her house and left them for her. She started wearing them right away. She still loves her dad and miss him tremendously but she has going on with her life and is a much happier person today than she was in those days. Oh by the way, my husband was not her father he was her stepfather. But to her he was Dad.
Hey do you want someone to talk to? Anything, any joke, any silly minor things in life.
Load More Replies...Wow, you are SO lucky! I have lost everyone in my family, except my Mom. It's just me, her, my wonderful husband, and my sweet wonderful beagle. I lost the only 4 girlfriends I had in the span of one year, ending last year, all due to different types of cancer. I don't even have ONE friend left now. You are so lucky!! You have so many great friends, and they are ORGANIZED! I'd pay thousands for that! I hope you are feeling better. I lost my dad too, to a heart transplant that went wrong. There really is so much to live for-- time won't heal wounds, but they do hurt a teeny bit less as time goes on. Give yourself more time. And also, your apartment looks great, from what I can see of it! Awesome story with a good happy ending!!
@Molly: I can't even imagine suffering the losses you have had. You sound like a very strong and courageous person. I know you will reach a point where you will develop new friendships. I don't care what anyone says, BP is great "talk therapy." I call it "Caring and Sharing." (I have been criticised for commenting about personal things) Sending you a blessing. :-)
Load More Replies...Must be nice to have such loving, devoted and generous friends. I hope one day to make even one friend of this caliber. She’s one lucky person to have so much love and I’m glad to know she got the support she, and anyone, in her situation deserved. We all need this kind of support at one time or another in our lives but too often people go without the love and sense of community they need...myself included lol :(
May your Life is guided by light of your friends love. May god bless them all.
What an amazing bunch of friends!! They did so great, be grateful for their friendship forever <3 These people are really rare! Imagine, my "friends" just let me sit when first signs of my illness came up. I could not keep pace, I got left behind. Treasure your friends, thesy are amazing people!
That is a man and group of friends who are real. I have had strangers be of more help to me than family.
Such a sweet story, I'm glad for people in the world like these
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