18 Y.O. Cousins Keep Ignoring 16 Y.O. Daughter’s Privacy, So Dad Installs Locks In Her Room And Upsets Both His Wife And Her Brother
It may sound selfish, but people don’t want to share their things with others. There are people who don’t really care if someone takes their things, but usually nobody is fine with others taking their stuff without their permission. It doesn’t matter if you’re a child, an adult, if you paid for the things yourself or you got them for free.
A father on Reddit thinks that it’s normal to want to keep things for yourself, so he bought his daughter a lock as her cousins who are temporarily living in the house were constantly taking her things without her permission. But that led the family to split and not talk to each other, so the father wants to know if he shouldn’t have done anything.
More info: Reddit
A dad is upset after a family fight that he caused when he put a lock on his daughter’s room so her cousins couldn’t take her stuff anymore
Image credits: Susan Dennis (not the actual photo)
The Original Poster (OP) lives with his wife and 16-year-old daughter in Quebec, Canada. A couple of months months ago, his BIL Sammy divorced his wife and was kicked out of their home together with his 18-year-old twin daughters. It seems that Sammy’s parents weren’t willing to take him in, but his sister welcomed him to her family home.
The redditor OnlyInQuebec says that his daughter isn’t close with her cousins, but they do get along; however, a huge problem surfaced. Turns out, the older cousins completely disrespect the OP’s daughter Zoey’s privacy and use all her stuff without asking first.
The OP now lives with his wife, his daughter, his BIL and his nieces as there was a divorce and they didn’t have anywhere to go
Image credits: OnlyInQuebec9
They take her makeup, phone accessories, clothes, laptop and other things. Zoey complained to her parents, however, only the dad thought that this was wrong. The mom and Sammy believed that girls in general always share things with each other so there is nothing to worry about.
It broke the dad’s heart when one time, the cousins’ behavior made Zoey cry. The OP said that his daughter had been saving up money and bought a $60 MAC eyeshadow palette. One of the cousins used it and ruined it. Zoey found it on her bed and some of the redditors said that it might have been on purpose to tease the girl.
The problem is that the OP’s nieces, his daughter’s cousins, constantly use her things without asking and even ruin them
Image credits: OnlyInQuebec9
The teenager felt so unsafe about her belongings after this that she kept the more valuable ones at her friend’s house, and when the dad found that out, he got Zoey a lock for her room.
Sammy actually got offended when he found out why the lock was put up. He said that his daughters are not thieves and they are just taking each other’s stuff because it’s just how it works with girls. He also shamed Zoey’s parents for letting her wear makeup and thought it was wrong for her to want to look older.
So the OP thought that it was a good idea to put a lock on his daughter’s door, but that actually offended the BIL
Image credits: OnlyInQuebec9
The worst part is that even his wife, the teen’s mom, wasn’t on their side and their argument was that girls always share things
Image credits: OnlyInQuebec9
The teenager’s mom, the OP’s wife, was actually on her brother’s side. She thought that putting a lock on the door made it harder for the cousins to spend time together and now that the girls are living with them, they should be treated as daughters.
The dad was not backing down and promised to only take off the lock when the BIL’s family would move out. That upset his wife as she thought he was implying they should kick out Sammy and her daughters, which would make her family mad at the OP. Which is funny, as they welcomed Sammy into their home for the very reason of the wife’s parents refusing to let their son and granddaughters stay at their home for a bit.
Image credits: OnlyInQuebec9
The OP isn’t going to remove the lock as long as the BIL and his daughters are living under the same roof because he saw how upset his daughter was
Image credits: OnlyInQuebec9
This created a lot of tension in the house because nobody is talking to the dad and Zoey. The OP wrote in the comments that his daughter feels like she is doing something wrong, even though in reality she was the one that suffered from her cousins.
The comments were really supportive of the dad and reassured him that he did exactly what needed to be done in the situation and that his daughter probably feels very appreciative even if she didn’t say anything.
Image credits: OnlyInQuebec9
Now the family isn’t talking with the OP and his daughter, so he asks if he overreacted by putting a lock on the door
Image credits: OnlyInQuebec9
Do you feel that Zoey and her dad overreacted and it was unnecessary to offend the family that recently went through a rough time? Or do you sympathize with the teenager and would get her a lock too if you were her parent? Let us know your reactions in the comments!
People in the comments didn’t think so at all and saw the cousins as thieves and thanked the OP for being a considerate father
Sounds like there are good reasons the rest of the family won't let BIL and his kids live with them.
Looks like his wife's side of the family is made of bullies that don't understand boundaries or that taking without asking is stealing
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"Borrowing" means asking to temporarily use an item belonging to someone else. "Stealing" is taking that item without asking. "Assholism" is stealing, then ruining that item. The cousins are both thieves and assholes, and it's clear where they got it from. OP is definitely NTA, but he needs to have a talk with his wife. If she's siding with her brother over her own daughter, y'all have bigger problems.
So, apparantly the BIL thinks that Zoey is "acting older than she is" (16 is nearly a f*****g adult, and clearly Zoey is more of a mature young woman than the cousins) but yet at the same time, BIL says "stop babying her"... make up your damn mind you deranged bastard. As for Zoeys mother... she should be siding with her own daughter, wtf.
A 16yo girl living in a house with a single adult man should have a lock on her door ANYWAY.
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Sounds like there are good reasons the rest of the family won't let BIL and his kids live with them.
Looks like his wife's side of the family is made of bullies that don't understand boundaries or that taking without asking is stealing
Load More Replies... "Borrowing" means asking to temporarily use an item belonging to someone else. "Stealing" is taking that item without asking. "Assholism" is stealing, then ruining that item. The cousins are both thieves and assholes, and it's clear where they got it from. OP is definitely NTA, but he needs to have a talk with his wife. If she's siding with her brother over her own daughter, y'all have bigger problems.
So, apparantly the BIL thinks that Zoey is "acting older than she is" (16 is nearly a f*****g adult, and clearly Zoey is more of a mature young woman than the cousins) but yet at the same time, BIL says "stop babying her"... make up your damn mind you deranged bastard. As for Zoeys mother... she should be siding with her own daughter, wtf.
A 16yo girl living in a house with a single adult man should have a lock on her door ANYWAY.
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