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Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone was acting inappropriate, but no one besides you didn’t seem to notice? And you didn’t say anything just because you felt as if it would just make everything worse? This TikTok user @nayaaford asked her followers to share what is something that people find normal or even idealised when it is an example of toxic behaviour. In her video that has 49.6k likes and almost 3.5k comments, she pointed out that one of the examples of toxic behaviour is wanting a “significant other” who is unfriendly and even mean to other people just because this would mean that they are not going to cheat.

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#1

Minimizing your own experience by saying “others have it way worse than you”. No. My feelings are valid regardless of how worse it could be.

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Pezor Zass
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There's a balance here, though; you need to feel like your feelings are valid, but you also need perspective. too much either way is bad.

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It encouraged more people to share their examples of toxic behaviour in the comment section: overprotected partners who end up being control freaks, covering early abuse signs with “if someone is mean to you, it means they like you”, or blaming one’s bad behaviours or lack of responsibility to their zodiac sign. This endless list shows some ridiculous as well as serious problems that society faces but not really takes into consideration, instead they are simply normalised.

#2

Telling little girls "if hes being mean to you it means he likes you"... no.. just no

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#3

Giving men glory for doing all the normal things women do..ie: cleaning, cooking, caring for their own kids, grocery shopping, etc

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kennedy1209
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I realize I am in the minority here - But I actually hate that it is assumed that my wife does all of those things and gets all the glory, when I am the one who does them all.

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The virality of the video and the number of comments of this TikTok video showed that people are actually aware of these toxic behaviours. But why then people get along with these situations? Most of them occur in the family and groups of friends. So not saying to your family member or a close friend that they are being unreasonable saves you from a fight that at first seems unnecessary because these people are close to you, so why would they want bad things for you?

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#4

People bragging that they are “brutally honest”. You can be honest without being Brutal.

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Thorfin Wolfsbane
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

most of the time, they just want to be brutal. the honesty is just coincidental

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#5

Don't come at me but moms who excessively drink wine to put up with their kids. you'll never convince me it's ok .

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Later all these saved fights turn little annoying behaviours into normalised habits: spitting something upsetting and then calling yourself “brutally honest”, being abusive towards your son’s/daughter’s partner, or spreading toxic positivity when clearly this is not the way to solve an occurring problem.

Do you also find some other things that people say or do to be toxic, or maybe you know an effective way on how to stop this kind of behaviour? Share your thoughts in the comments!

#7

Giving money to homeless on YouTube. Toxic. You don't need other people to see you doing charitable things for it to be worth doing.

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Marianne
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also think about the people on the receiving end who probably don't want to be on some stranger's social media while they are in a bad place in their lives.

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#8

Toxic positivity... let people feel

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#9

They use their zodiac sign to justify their actions and anger issues.

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Marianne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who does that? I'm a Scorpio and I am so annoyed by all the negative prejudices. No, I am not a psychopath because I was born in November and I am certainly not going to make anyone believe that this is a thing.

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cookie panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my friend ditched me after i told her my zodiac and said im cold and emotionless and i have no soul because im an Aquarius. wtf? totally with you on this.

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Chillace
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

im going to start telling people mine is an asparagus, when they say its not real im going to tell them none are

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Caroline Nagel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The astrology zodiac we use today doesn't agree with the actual zodiac we see in the evening sky; celestial bodies have changed location from our point of view over time. The dates we use are wrong. Astrology is a nonsense, astrologers don't know the first thing about astronomy, as they should.

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Ray Martin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm an Aquarius, and consequently know that astrology is complete bollocks.

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denzoren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Them: Omg, he's such a Leo Me: Sure but what does that have to do with him being an a$%#$.

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HooowlAtTheMoon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I only do this jokingly about things like why I'm so energetic and stuff... do people actually think being a certain zodiac is an excuse for being an a**hole?

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Potato
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A scorpio, often considered mean, is my best friend. A libra, "the nicest zodiac sign" hurt me most.

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WilvanderHeijden
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or worse: "That's just how I am and if you can't handle that, that's your problem."

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POLARBEARLUVER
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i had ex toxic friends who used zodiac signs to base ppl before they actually got to know them i am a Scorpio and just cuz i was born late October doesn't mean im a phycopath but i am good at keeping secrets

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Katie W
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry I burned your house down 😔😔😔🥺 I can't help it I'm an asparagus 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥴😩

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Luna Lovegood!
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's like saying: my name's Luna, so my being mean is therefore justified by that. like..no.

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Anna Banana
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reading the comments I'm so glad people don't take these seriously where I live. I don't even know - nor do I care about - my best friends' zodiac signs. Just like nobody cares about mine.

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Doughie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You CAN NEVER justify being a horrible person with your zodiac sign. I don’t care if you’re a Scorpio or a Leo or whatever, don’t be an ass

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Truth Monster
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, even if you believe in your zodiac signs, our zodiac signs are all fked up anyway. You're not whatever sign you think you are, because the calendar is at least 3 systems removed from the Attic (greek) calendar. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_Greek_calendars Zodiac signs are rubbish.

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Helmut Kok
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't believe in horoscopes, it may be because I am a Pisces

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Elizabeth Tunney
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. I am Leo, that does not mean I am a proud little brat, I am actually so fudging shy I can’t even talk to anyone without feeling terrible about it!

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Mysterious Panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

honestly astrology makes no sense. i don't see why people even believe in it.

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Luuta
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, being a Saggitarian, you would say this, wouldn't you? I can tell you this as a Pisces, and by the way, Saggitarians have no fashion sense, so I burnt all your shoes.

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Crepitus
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, no I don't want to play baseball with you, I want to sit in this dark, secluded corner and read my book. So what if I'm an aries? I dOn't liKe sPoRtS! >:C

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Annabeth Chase
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No. You aren't a Leo or a Percy, you're just exceedingly toxic.

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CultOfBambi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was curious a few years back and decided to look into whether there was any correlation between star signs and propensity to kill (yes, I was incredibly bored) so I did a study of a fairly small sample of 300 serial killers / mass murderers, noting their star signs & number of victims.There wasn't too much in it, but, based on this dataset, I found the star signs least likely to kill were Taurus & Cancer, and most likely were Pisces, Leo & Scorpio. They also generally had more victims. I know this proves absolutely nothing - but I found it quite interesting. Another interesting point was that only 30 of the 300 were female.

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Callista pierce
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i'm an aries but that does not justify my shanking people at night.

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Steve
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sign is Chuck Norris, and I wanna kick the OPs ass!

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BOKUTO!
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i am a pieces, it does not define who I am, I'm not some poor little crybaby. No people always judge me by that

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Sam Yobado
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have two different thoughts on this, but what can I say, I'm Gemini.

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IAN KELLY
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because obviously the alignment of things so far away we may never touch them is important

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Judith Wilson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and they talk about it like their lives depend on reacting to what the column says that day - they are going to get a surprise, or they are going to get rained on . Either way, it is a significant eye-rolling reaction from me, and a major disappointment in their intelligence.

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#10

Adhd- just because you were late a few times and got distracted by your friends in class doesn't mean you have it. It's not fun and quirky.

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Bird lover
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES don't just self-diagnose because you daydream. Tell me once a professional diagnoses you bitch

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#11

Being each other's “everything”. Nah y'all both need lives, family, and friends

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denzoren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

#Facts. Sure you want to spend time with each other but you also have lives outside of it. I don't mean to ignore your partner either btw.

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#12

"Push yourself till it hurts” when it comes to work, school, physical activities. I don't get paid enough to go over my physical limits.

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#13

Treating trauma/traumatic events as a competition.

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#14

When the current gfs hate their boyfriends ex's for no other reason but the fact they dated him.

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Kateryna
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or exes who hate the current partner of their ex-partner for the same reason

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#15

Mother in law's being abusive towards their son mates it's normal in so many cultures and it's NEVER OKAY

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Ambar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

let me tell you, my mother is getting married to her boyfriend and he has met my grandmother and she is NOT abusive nor is my mom's boyfriend's mom abusive to her as far as I know. this needs to stop since it puts a bad name of MIL

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#16

Men not taking care of their children because they have a new woman in their life

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#17

The whole “respect your elders” where I agree, you should show respect but there is a lot of disrespectful elderly and people in general who don't

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Marianne
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I generally try to show respect to every person I meet until they give me reason to stop respecting them.

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#18

But we got a baby together so we gotta stay together

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Marianne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids might prefer divorced parents to a home where fights and anger are a daily issue.

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#19

Overprotective partners - your partner should trust your judgment enough to let you stand up for yourself or ask for their help when it's needed

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A
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many romantic movies do this and it irritates me. So many creepy or abusive actions or traits are seen as romantic in movies because the love interest is physically attractive. Just stop....

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#20

Hustle culture for me. Would rather have a good paying 9-5 than 3 entrepreneural "hustles"

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denzoren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Hustle" has just become so overused and watered down. What they don't show you is 95% of those "hustlers" have financial support outside of the hustle.

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#21

People romanticise "being crazy" in relationships. "Yeah she's so crazy, she deleted every girl off my Facebook, she's so crazy I love her though

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#22

Friendzoning! setting boundaries in friendships should be okay. no one owes you getting into a relationship

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anarkzie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one is weird. The Friend Zone just means that someone you like doesn't like you back, it will happen to every adult at some point in their life, it has nothing to do with being owed something.

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#23

Going through your partners phone

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cookie panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this is actually rlly disrespectful and disgusting. m8, if they let you use their phone its bc they trust you. don't exploit that.

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#24

Possessive partners

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denzoren
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am assuming they mean a partner that wants to know exactly what you're doing every second of the day and want you to be with them 24/7....I'm assuming.

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#25

The ‘psycho' girlfriend. There's a difference between boundaries and control/abuse

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#26

The concept of forgiveness nowadays is just "oh yeah they hurt you and u prob have trauma u will deal with forever but just forgive and move on" um no

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beavis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah like my ex friends beat me up ( I had bruises) I got horrible anxiety that they would stab me while I was outside bc my mum asked me to go to the store, after the weekend one of them ( didn't even apologise) asked if we could be friends again and I said no bc they beat me caused me pain and anxiety and made me scared to go outside

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#27

When people talk about beating there kids or scaring there kids

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anarkzie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel that this attitude has thankfully changed in the part of the world that I live in, it seems mad to me that someone would think that hitting a child is somehow okay.

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#28

I don't know if this is toxic but people think that because two people have been together for years their relationship is perfect and healthy.

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Ambar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

love can break down. it doesn't matter how long you have been together it matters if your love is still strong that can build up a relationship

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#29

Any beauty standards

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Marianne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Best way to improve your body image: Throw away any fashion magazines. Go to places where you see real people's bodies, e.g. public pools. (Saunas if you live in a place where this is a thing. Seeing naked strangers will show you that NO ONE has the perfect body.)

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#30

Couples that take pride in being each other's only friends and spend ALL their time together. It's good to be separate from your partner sometimes

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Ambar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

spend some time with family, friends, or just alone time for yourself

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