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30 Idealized Behaviors That Are Actually Toxic Traits, Pointed Out By TikTok Users
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone was acting inappropriate, but no one besides you didn’t seem to notice? And you didn’t say anything just because you felt as if it would just make everything worse? This TikTok user @nayaaford asked her followers to share what is something that people find normal or even idealised when it is an example of toxic behaviour. In her video that has 49.6k likes and almost 3.5k comments, she pointed out that one of the examples of toxic behaviour is wanting a “significant other” who is unfriendly and even mean to other people just because this would mean that they are not going to cheat.
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Minimizing your own experience by saying “others have it way worse than you”. No. My feelings are valid regardless of how worse it could be.
There's a balance here, though; you need to feel like your feelings are valid, but you also need perspective. too much either way is bad.
It encouraged more people to share their examples of toxic behaviour in the comment section: overprotected partners who end up being control freaks, covering early abuse signs with “if someone is mean to you, it means they like you”, or blaming one’s bad behaviours or lack of responsibility to their zodiac sign. This endless list shows some ridiculous as well as serious problems that society faces but not really takes into consideration, instead they are simply normalised.
Telling little girls "if hes being mean to you it means he likes you"... no.. just no
Giving men glory for doing all the normal things women do..ie: cleaning, cooking, caring for their own kids, grocery shopping, etc
I realize I am in the minority here - But I actually hate that it is assumed that my wife does all of those things and gets all the glory, when I am the one who does them all.
The virality of the video and the number of comments of this TikTok video showed that people are actually aware of these toxic behaviours. But why then people get along with these situations? Most of them occur in the family and groups of friends. So not saying to your family member or a close friend that they are being unreasonable saves you from a fight that at first seems unnecessary because these people are close to you, so why would they want bad things for you?
People bragging that they are “brutally honest”. You can be honest without being Brutal.
most of the time, they just want to be brutal. the honesty is just coincidental
Don't come at me but moms who excessively drink wine to put up with their kids. you'll never convince me it's ok .
OCD. It's not trendy it's an illness.
Later all these saved fights turn little annoying behaviours into normalised habits: spitting something upsetting and then calling yourself “brutally honest”, being abusive towards your son’s/daughter’s partner, or spreading toxic positivity when clearly this is not the way to solve an occurring problem.
Do you also find some other things that people say or do to be toxic, or maybe you know an effective way on how to stop this kind of behaviour? Share your thoughts in the comments!
Giving money to homeless on YouTube. Toxic. You don't need other people to see you doing charitable things for it to be worth doing.
Toxic positivity... let people feel
people who are upbeat and positive all the time tend to irritate me
They use their zodiac sign to justify their actions and anger issues.
Adhd- just because you were late a few times and got distracted by your friends in class doesn't mean you have it. It's not fun and quirky.
YES don't just self-diagnose because you daydream. Tell me once a professional diagnoses you bitch
Being each other's “everything”. Nah y'all both need lives, family, and friends
"Push yourself till it hurts” when it comes to work, school, physical activities. I don't get paid enough to go over my physical limits.
Treating trauma/traumatic events as a competition.
When the current gfs hate their boyfriends ex's for no other reason but the fact they dated him.
Mother in law's being abusive towards their son mates it's normal in so many cultures and it's NEVER OKAY
Men not taking care of their children because they have a new woman in their life
The whole “respect your elders” where I agree, you should show respect but there is a lot of disrespectful elderly and people in general who don't
Overprotective partners - your partner should trust your judgment enough to let you stand up for yourself or ask for their help when it's needed
Hustle culture for me. Would rather have a good paying 9-5 than 3 entrepreneural "hustles"
People romanticise "being crazy" in relationships. "Yeah she's so crazy, she deleted every girl off my Facebook, she's so crazy I love her though
Friendzoning! setting boundaries in friendships should be okay. no one owes you getting into a relationship
Going through your partners phone
this is actually rlly disrespectful and disgusting. m8, if they let you use their phone its bc they trust you. don't exploit that.
The ‘psycho' girlfriend. There's a difference between boundaries and control/abuse
The concept of forgiveness nowadays is just "oh yeah they hurt you and u prob have trauma u will deal with forever but just forgive and move on" um no
Yeah like my ex friends beat me up ( I had bruises) I got horrible anxiety that they would stab me while I was outside bc my mum asked me to go to the store, after the weekend one of them ( didn't even apologise) asked if we could be friends again and I said no bc they beat me caused me pain and anxiety and made me scared to go outside
You have no reason to be friends with that person ever again. Shunning them is you gaining control over your life.
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I have a different understanding of forgiveness. To me, if I forgive a person that means that I am letting what ever transpired go and I am not going to waste my time or energy on it any longer. I forgive them for whatever. Now, does that mean that I am going to let them back into my life to do it again or to hurt me in another way? Absolutely not. Forgiveness is for me and my peace of mind, not for them. Screw them.
forgiveness , or at least what most people think it means, is bullshit. all you have to do is get to the point where you don't want to get revenge on the person, and it doesn't consume you. giving the person a pardon on their behavior has nothing to do with it. Forgiveness is for you, not them.
Yes! So many people equate not forgiving someone with obsessing over what they did to you. That's not it at all. Just because someone doesn't forgive you doesn't mean they are obsessing over you, you may not cross their minds at all anymore.
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Yes. Okay so, my father was super abusive, and when my mom finally divorced him she kept trying to make me get over all the PTSD and anxiety and anger that I feel towards him. I told her no, because it's my right to have these feelings. These feelings are valid.
You are correct. My dad died and I was sadder for what he wasn't than for anything eh *was* to me, but people still thiink I should get stars in my eyes b/c he was my dad. Nope. He tried to kill me once (at least once), so, yeah, no, my PTSD is legit, so is yours! Your mom's guilt (and it sounds like she wants you better so she gets to not feel guilt, IMHO) is HER problem. (PS: I may sound know-it-all, but I co-lead a PTSD peer support group, and that's the first thing I thought based on tales told in group.)
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Forgiveness requires repentance by the perpetrator. Otherwise, it's pointless.
This. As long as the cause has no remorse I feel no need to forgive them.
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Forgiveness helps us let go of the destructive cancer of hate, it does not take away the consequence of their actions
This is my husband justifying his mother’s ill actions towards me.. he constantly tells me to be progressive and move on..
Treat others as you want to be treated. A saying as old as time and as true today as it was then.
Response I heard when I told someone for the first time that someone attempted to murder me when I was five: "Oh, that's so lon gago. Forgive and forget! You survived!".... Yes, that makes it all better...?!
No, you don´t have to forgive. You just can learn to act without being affected by what they have done to you.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard "You need to forgive them and move on, or you're holding yourself back" (or some version of how my being angry that someone had mistreated me was actually hurting ME the most so I had to "let it go"), I could afford more therapy.
I also hate when parents force kids to say they forgive someone when they apologize. Like, you shouldn't have to forgive. It's okay to need a little time before you forgive. And I like to live by the saying "Forgive but never forget" because if you forget, you might not be able to realize something toxic is happening over and over again.
Forgiving makes your life easier, sort of. It depends, if someone hits you all the time, yeah get mad but don't get revenge. If someone hits you once without meaning too, just let it go.
There is a huge difference between forgiving and forgetting. To forgive does not in any way mean there are no concequence for whatever happened. And it does not in any way means that your relation is as if it never happened.
I teach my preschool students that we don’t say “it’s okay” when someone apologizes we say “thank you”. You can be grateful for their apology but still hurt by what they did to you. An apology doesn’t make what they did go away but it can help solve the problem and repair the relationship. We say “thank you” because it shows we are grateful for their apology and understand that saying “I’m sorry” is a hard thing to do.
Oh man... Hahahaha yeah no im not even going to start. Sick of people telling me to move past s**t and "just get along" with people that have wronged me. I am not obligated to freaking forgive someone just because they did something but its over now so its okay. F**k that. You dont get to play stupid games with me like that. Especially when you try to victimize yourself to everyone that will listen. Im in a stupid situation right now with people trying to force me to be "forgiving". Im not ready for that. Keep this person away from me, let me collect myself and then we can f*****g talk, yeah? Okay good talk. Lol triggered myself sorry people
When people talk about beating there kids or scaring there kids
I don't know if this is toxic but people think that because two people have been together for years their relationship is perfect and healthy.
Any beauty standards
Couples that take pride in being each other's only friends and spend ALL their time together. It's good to be separate from your partner sometimes
Note: this post originally had 47 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Idk if this is toxic or not but when parents (typically dads) “joke” about how if the boyfriend stays over, the shotgun will be out or something like that. Or they’ll camp outside the boyfriends room so he can’t go anywhere. It just seems so immature and shows a complete disregard for the guys feelings.
it is toxic. not only does it shame and disregard the boyfriend, it asserts that the daughter "belongs" to the dad/parents. neither of those things are okay.
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I really want to add something: they pretend to have depression because apparently its cool. It literally kills people.
mental illness seems to have become some sort of sick trend. now, i can't tell exactly where the line is, but i know you can feel depressed or anxious without having a depressive or anxiety disorder. i think for many people, the line is blurred. it's absolutely unfair to those who have an actual problem, and diminishes their struggles
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Grown men acting perverted towards young girls or women. Saying things such as, "Make sure to save her for me!" as a joke. Sir, the only thing being saved for you is a cell in prison.
Who's idealizing these? I've heard for years now that these are toxic behaviors, and we knew that long before TikTok came to be. Unfortunately there are always going to be people that oversimplify things, use mental illness terms as adjectives, put too much stock into gender roles and star signs etc. But this sort of behavior is NOT being 'idealized by society' anymore.
Pretending to have either ADHD or depression/severe anxiety are the ones I expected here. Found a lot more that I hadn't even thought about. One I didn't see was people talking about 'my multiple personalities' like, im not sure, but i feel like that'd be kinda offensive to people who actually have multiple personality disorder
And it's the wrong name. And it doesn't work like that. And if you have more than one mood doesn't mean you have more than one personality....
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started off mildly interesting and then took an armpit dive into "I wanna raise my hand and say something".
Let's not forget Hyping up people who f*cking post videos of their partner cheating on them and then destroying that person's car
Am I losing my mind or was there a very similar post somewhat recently?
Using spirituality and self- ̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶m̶e̶ healing as an excuse to stay in toxic relationships.
Idk if this is toxic or not but when parents (typically dads) “joke” about how if the boyfriend stays over, the shotgun will be out or something like that. Or they’ll camp outside the boyfriends room so he can’t go anywhere. It just seems so immature and shows a complete disregard for the guys feelings.
it is toxic. not only does it shame and disregard the boyfriend, it asserts that the daughter "belongs" to the dad/parents. neither of those things are okay.
Load More Replies... I really want to add something: they pretend to have depression because apparently its cool. It literally kills people.
mental illness seems to have become some sort of sick trend. now, i can't tell exactly where the line is, but i know you can feel depressed or anxious without having a depressive or anxiety disorder. i think for many people, the line is blurred. it's absolutely unfair to those who have an actual problem, and diminishes their struggles
Load More Replies... Grown men acting perverted towards young girls or women. Saying things such as, "Make sure to save her for me!" as a joke. Sir, the only thing being saved for you is a cell in prison.
Who's idealizing these? I've heard for years now that these are toxic behaviors, and we knew that long before TikTok came to be. Unfortunately there are always going to be people that oversimplify things, use mental illness terms as adjectives, put too much stock into gender roles and star signs etc. But this sort of behavior is NOT being 'idealized by society' anymore.
Pretending to have either ADHD or depression/severe anxiety are the ones I expected here. Found a lot more that I hadn't even thought about. One I didn't see was people talking about 'my multiple personalities' like, im not sure, but i feel like that'd be kinda offensive to people who actually have multiple personality disorder
And it's the wrong name. And it doesn't work like that. And if you have more than one mood doesn't mean you have more than one personality....
Load More Replies... started off mildly interesting and then took an armpit dive into "I wanna raise my hand and say something".
Let's not forget Hyping up people who f*cking post videos of their partner cheating on them and then destroying that person's car
Am I losing my mind or was there a very similar post somewhat recently?
Using spirituality and self- ̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶m̶e̶ healing as an excuse to stay in toxic relationships.
