Happily Married Man Won’t Grant His Cheating Ex’s Last Wish, Can’t Understand Why Friends Are Mad

Most ghosts from relationships past are usually pretty harmless. They might haunt you with an awkward “like” on an old photo, but you can usually just block them and move on. The chapter is closed, the story over.

But what happens when that chapter is ripped back open by a force you can’t just ignore? For one man, a two-month fling that ended in betrayal six years ago came roaring back when his ex’s parents showed up with a final, devastating request that would test his loyalty to his new life.

More info: Reddit

A “blast from the past” can sometimes feel more like an unexpected attack than a friendly hello

Young woman with oxygen tube lying in hospital bed talking on phone, illustrating terminally ill patient scenario.

Image credits: pressmaster / Freepik (not the actual photo)

A man was contacted by the parents of an ex he dated for two months, six years ago

Screenshot of a forum post where a man explains why he refuses to visit his terminally ill ex-girlfriend who cheated on him.

Text excerpt on a white background about a man refusing to visit his terminally ill ex-girlfriend who cheated on him six years ago.

Man refuses to visit terminally ill ex-GF who cheated, friends think he's heartless for his decision and stance.

Man refusing to visit terminally ill ex-girlfriend who cheated, showing emotional conflict while sitting on a couch at home.

Image credits: gorynvd / Freepik (not the actual photo)

They told him their daughter was terminally ill and her last wish was to see him one final time

Text excerpt about a man refusing to visit his terminally ill ex-girlfriend who cheated on him, friends consider him heartless.

Text message screenshot explaining a man refuses to visit his terminally ill ex-GF who cheated on him, causing friends to call him heartless.

Text on a white background expressing a man refusing to visit his terminally ill ex-girlfriend who cheated on him.

Woman in hospital gown sitting in wheelchair, man standing behind her, reflecting a man refusing to visit terminally ill ex-GF.

Image credits: Wavebreak Media / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The man, now happily married with a child, politely but firmly refused the request as he did not want to open that chapter again

Text discussing a man refusing to visit his terminally ill ex-girlfriend who cheated on him, viewed as heartless by friends.

Text excerpt about a man refusing to visit his terminally ill ex-girlfriend, seen as heartless by friends.

Man refusing to visit terminally ill ex-girlfriend who cheated on him, facing criticism from friends for being heartless.

Image credits: Fearless-Conflict567

He was then branded “cruel and heartless” by her parents and even some of his own friends

Six years ago, a man ended a brief, two-month relationship after discovering his girlfriend was cheating. He cut her out of his life, weathered a few months of her “ridiculous” apologies, and then moved on completely. He built a new life in a new country, got married to a woman he loves, and had a daughter. The ex was nothing more than a forgotten, closed chapter.

That chapter was violently ripped back open when his ex’s parents appeared out of the blue. They delivered a bombshell: their daughter had terminal cancer, and her one dying wish was to see him one last time. They explained that she had never moved on, had never been in another relationship, and had spent six years regretting her mistake.

The man, now a happy husband and father, had zero interest in this dramatic reunion. After discussing it with his wife, who fully supported him, he politely told the parents “no” and asked them not to contact him again. Their response was to brand him “cruel and heartless” for refusing to grant a dying woman’s last wish, a sentiment echoed by some of his own friends.

Now, he’s being hounded by a family he has no connection to and second-guessed by his friends. He feels his past is being weaponized against him, forcing him to participate in a final, emotional scene for a relationship that was nothing more than a two-month fling that ended in betrayal. He’s now asking the internet if his refusal to perform this emotional labor makes him a jerk.

Man sitting on couch looking stressed while holding phone, reflecting on refusing to visit terminally ill ex-GF who cheated.

Image credits: carlesmiro / Freepik (not the actual photo)

The ex-girlfriend’s intense, six-year fixation on a two-month relationship suggests she may have been experiencing what the Mayo Clinic describes as “complicated grief.” For some, the pain of a loss, even a breakup, doesn’t improve over time. Her inability to move on and the constant talk about him as her “biggest mistake” are classic signs that she was unable to move on, turning a brief fling into a life-defining loss.

Her last wish to see him is a powerful and very human impulse for end-of-life closure. As social psychologist Megan Shen explains, the vulnerability people feel in their last moments often creates a deep need to address unresolved issues, seek forgiveness, or make amends for past regrets.

The parents’ intense pressure is likely fueled by their desire to grant their daughter this final moment of peace, a request that feels morally absolute to them, even if it’s based on a one-sided emotional history.

However, the man’s refusal is not an act of cruelty but a necessary and healthy act of setting a boundary to protect his current life. As therapist John Kim writes, it is crucial to set firm boundaries with an ex to prioritize your new relationship and family. His primary responsibility is to his wife and child.

Re-engaging with an ex under such emotionally charged and manipulative circumstances would be a betrayal of that commitment. His “no” wasn’t heartless, it was just a healthy act of self-preservation for the family he has now, and that should be respected by the ex and his friends alike.

Would you have paid her a bedside visit or do you think the OP is right to keep his distance? Let us know in the comments!

The internet overwhelmingly agreed that his only obligation was to his current family, not his past

Screenshot of a forum comment discussing a man refusing to visit his terminally ill ex-girlfriend who cheated on him.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing a man refusing to visit his terminally ill ex-GF who cheated on him.

Comment discussing a man refusing to visit his terminally ill ex-girlfriend who cheated on him, with friends calling him heartless.

Comment about a man refusing to visit his terminally ill ex-girlfriend who cheated on him, viewed as heartless by friends.

Screenshot of a Reddit comment discussing posts about someone dying and asking to be visited, reflecting on the man's refusal to visit terminally ill ex-GF.

Screenshot of an online comment stating a user doesn’t care about a man refusing to visit his terminally ill ex-GF who cheated on him.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing a man who refuses to visit his terminally ill ex-girlfriend after she cheated on him.

Screenshot of an online comment where a user supports a man refusing to visit his terminally ill ex-GF who cheated on him.

Comment discussing a man refusing to visit his terminally ill ex-girlfriend who cheated on him, seen as heartless by friends.

Comment expressing that visiting terminally ill ex-girlfriend despite cheating may be important and justified.

Poll Question

Total votes ·

Thanks! Check out the results:

Total votes ·

Newsletter

Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls

Subscribe

By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.

Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!

Anyone can write on Bored Panda. Start writing!

Follow Bored Panda on Google News!

Follow us on Flipboard.com/@boredpanda!