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Ever wondered how to call someone stupid in a smart way so that you don’t step on any toes? We’ve all been there, faced with moments where roasting someone’s intellect seems like the only plausible response. But let’s be honest, calling someone outright stupid won’t make you the life of the party.

What you need are some intelligent insults—the smart way to suggest someone might need an intellectual boost. We’re not advocating for mean-spiritedness, but some situations demand hilarious comebacks and great insults. But make sure to balance your fancy insults with wit and charm so they don’t cause any emotional bruises.

A Reddit user u/lientubay asked the world, “What’s the best euphemism for telling people that they’re stupid?” Over 60,000 people had apparently pondered the same question, and the thread skyrocketed. People from all around the world shared various ways of how to insult someone politely by using both modern ingenuity and old folk proverbs.

So finally, instead of awkwardly using the same insult over and over again, like “so is your face,” you’ll have a list of things to say when encountering a stupid person. What a tough world for us—intelligent people—this is. Thanks for making our life bearable, Reddit!

Now, scroll down below to learn how to tell someone they’re dumb in a smart way. Got any intelligent insults of your own? Share them with us in the comments.

More Info: Reddit

#1

woman running on the stadion In russian we have "intelligent thoughts have always followed him, but he was faster".

humphr1es , terren in Virginia Report

#2

an old man shaking hand to a military man I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong

captainawesome1983 , ResoluteSupportMedia Report

#3

a little metal ball on the ground Sharp as a marble, that one.

randolotapus , James Samsonow Report

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JennyLaRue
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My Grandad used this all the time (fortunately not to me, well not to my face anyway)

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What Are Some Idioms for Calling Someone Dumb?

Every once in a while, someone has a less-than-genius moment. These idioms are designed for those times when you want to nudge someone’s intellect with a wink rather than calling them “dumb” and hurting their feelings.

There are several playful expressions around the world that people often use as funny ways to call someone stupid. Hence, if you’re seeking fancy ways to call someone dumb, here are some of our favorites:

  • Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
  • A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
  • The elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.
  • One sandwich short of a picnic.
  • A few cards short of a full deck.
  • All foam, no beer.

However, there are more fancy words and ‘nicer’ ways to say stupid:

  • Dunderheaded
  • Anserine
  • Addlepated
  • Blinkard
  • Obtuse
  • Nescient

And, of course, let’s not forget the word ‘unintelligent,’ which might be the only politically correct word for stupid! These intelligent insults will let you question someone’s brainpower without ruffling feathers. But make sure to use them only with friends who appreciate a bit of humor.

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#4

close-up view of brain cells One of my personal favorites:

"They only got two brain cells and both of them are fighting for third place."

NostalgicPotat0 , Wikimedia Commons Report

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Aisling Allan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What on earth is this image? It looks like Giger designed a dessert.

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Guada Narbaitz
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ive heard "he only has two brain cells and they are desperatly looking for each other."

melanieking avatar
Axolotl King
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just said this to my sister and she said "huh? They'd both be fighting for 1st and one would get 2nd.."

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Konpat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can only hope that genetics doesn't run strong in your family...

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Vernice Aure
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm partial to "The porch light is on, but no one is home" or "The butter done slipped off his biscuit".

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Brie Sansotta
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Forget the witty sarcasm, WTF is that photo - an alien amoeba!?

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Nadine Debard
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I heard a quite similar sexist joke which said 'his two brain cells lost themselves downstairs'. The one in the example is better.

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lettuce boi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

whenever someone explains how many houses they have i respond with- oh so a house for each braincell how cute

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Viviane
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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#5

man standing in a yellow boots in the puddle Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

dusty-kat , supafly Report

#6

Ahh yes, “it’s better to be silent and thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt”. A classic.

MidnytStorme Report

How Do You Tell Someone Off in a Classy Way?

Ok, now let’s look at it from another perspective. What if you are at the receiving end of these insults? This is your time to show that you indeed have a high IQ by giving a sassy retort to someone who insults you.

Instead of going full-blown confrontational, opt for a more refined approach that gets your point across. With the right words, you can crush your opponents with some of the best insults.

To stay classy, highlight their positive qualities before adding your deprecating remark. Or you could ask them to repeat and explain the insult, saying you didn’t understand it. This will encourage reflection.

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Remember, timing is everything if you want to appear confident and classy with your clever comebacks. Flip the script of the original comment and watch your opponent turn red. Maintain eye contact, stand tall, and let your body language convey the same confidence as your words.

We leave you with the best insult we’ve ever heard. It’s from the TV show Madmen.

Michael Ginsberg: “I feel sorry for you.”

Don Draper: “I don’t think of you at all.”

Mic drop!

Now, continue scrolling below to brush up on funny ways to call someone stupid.

#7

people under umbrellas walking on the street In Greece we say "when it was raining brains, you had an umbrella"

GSavvage , Charles Edward Miller Report

#8

man in a costume going with a basket and wooden spoons in his hands Now I know what Douglas Adams was talking about.

“A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”

BerenTheBold , Hans Splinter Report

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#10

man smiling with plastic eyes on his face I think I saw this one here previously “You aren’t the biggest idiot in the world but you better hope they don’t die”.

soalindie , Slimane Lalami Report

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#12

basic equipment for interviews It's impossible to underestimate you

Snugl-v301 , MACBA Museu d'Art Contemporani de Barcelona Report

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Sarah Simons
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Like if they're really dumb, they might not even see this as an insult

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#13

a red label with warning You're the reason we have warning labels.

igenus44 , Paul Fisher Report

#14

"If you ever had a clever thought, it died alone and afraid."

TedMeister88 Report

#15

three runners running on the stadion He's so far behind he thinks he's first.

perstn , The U.S. Army Report

#16

If you were half as smart as you think you are, you’d be twice as smart as you really are.

ACM_ONE Report

#18

a red carriage on the railways His train of thought is still boarding at the station.

Washjockey , elminium Report

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Chillace
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

is it just me or does the thing at the top of the train look like a face?

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#19

a hamster sitting in a pink wheel The wheels spinning, but the hamsters dead.

lburton273 , frankieleon Report

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DramaDoc
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one is my favorite... Sadly, I use it more that I wish I had to.

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#20

He needs to carry a plant to make up for the oxygen he's wasting

a95bar Report

#21

I can explain it again, if you'd like, but I can't understand for you.

Stop_Screaming Report

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M O'Connell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A variation "I can explain it to you, but I cannot understand it for you" has hung in my office for years :)

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#22

pupils sitting on the floor in the classroom and listening their teacher "I'm guessing you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling."

-Captain Malcom Reynolds

FlipSchitz , Krishna Avanti School Report

#23

Unencumbered by the thought process.

OldPolishProverb Report

#24

Saw two coworkers going about a task in the worst way I could imagine. I said "I believe if there was a harder way to do that you two would find it."

They didn't get it.

pollotergeist Report

#25

box of soup near the sockers Once heard someone say "Well he's about as sharp as a sock full of soup".

angrypunishment , Tony Alter Report

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#26

You could blow in their ear and they would say thanks for the refill.

Cooked_Bread Report

#27

bottle of beer near the glass full of beer One of my all time favorites is "More foam than beer".

DoctorSalty , Bernt Rostad Report

#29

"Well pardon me, ma'am but what you don't know could fill a warehouse."

Courtesy of Bart Simpson.

kutuup1989 Report

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J Cole
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is actual very true and not only for idiots but everyone me including

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#30

If your brains were dynamite there wouldn't be enough to blow your hat off.

WilburWhateleystwin Report

Note: this post originally had 49 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.