ADVERTISEMENT

English is the most spoken language in the world with a mind-bending total of 1.348 billion speakers. So no language like it has ever dominated the world. The influence of English can be easily traced in the way its vocabulary has infiltrated so many other languages.

Researchers at the IULM University in Milan have noticed that, in the past 50 years, Italian syntax has shifted towards patterns that mimic English models, and that’s just one example. And thanks to the global influence of social media, younger generations from around the world are all speaking fluent English, mimicking insta-famous natives from across the sea like it's no big deal.

So it’s only fair to expect something from this language, right? For example, that it makes sense, is user-friendly and somewhat intuitive. And it kinda is, or is it? Well, you gotta draw your own conclusions after scrolling through some of the weirdest, most frustrating and pretty incredible English language quirks we collected below. From the cursed English pronunciation to the sentences that have 7 or more different meanings depending on the stressed word, this is a crazy class you wouldn’t like to have an exam in.

English, the universal language of this world, is somewhat of a tough nut to crack for anyone who just got on board. The reason for this is the fact that this language is full of unique quirks and incredible oddities that, although challenging at first, give it character. For example, think of the sentence “I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long” by Mitch Hedberg, who created this paraprosdokian, a phrase that figuratively defeats your expectation. The listener or reader will have to reframe or reinterpret the earlier clause. Coming from the Greek ‘para’ meaning ‘against’ and ‘prosdokia’ meaning ‘expectation,’ a paraprosdokian leaves the reader somewhat baffled by the conclusion of the sentence.

#4

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

showerfeelings Report

Add photo comments
POST
t762778 avatar
Tails
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will one up you. Every E in Mercedes is pronounced differently.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#5

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

shadowwraiths Report

Add photo comments
POST
just_a_spooky_dude avatar
XSpooky_Mint
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't kill your dog. I DIDN'T kill your dog. I didn't KILL your dog. I didn't kill YOUR dog. I didn't kill your DOG.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#6

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

moist-grunge Report

Add photo comments
POST
maylin_martinsen avatar
May
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

English is considered one of the easier languages to learn - it gets much more complicated out there people

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

Another confusing thing in the English language may be syntactic ambiguity. Here is an example: “I’m happy I’m a tennis player, and so is Albert.” It can mean four things: “I am happy Albert and I are both tennis players,” “I’m glad I'm a tennis player, and Albert is also a tennis player,” “Albert and I are both glad I’m a tennis player,” or “I am glad I’m a tennis player and Albert is also glad to be a tennis player.”

#8

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

allisonkollins Report

Add photo comments
POST
liverpoolroze avatar
Rose the Cook
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Both are rarely heard outside America except from people who think Americanisms are trendy.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

Geronyms, brand names used to mean an everyday item, are also common in the English language. These terms have seeped into the general psyche and are used more often than their technical counterparts. We almost always ‘Google’ something instead of doing an ‘online search.’ In the US especially, for example, people often refer to cotton swabs as ‘Q-Tips’ after their brand name. Increasingly more popular nowadays is the process of ‘Photoshopping’ an image, after Adobe’s software of the same name.

Auto-antonyms are words with multiple meanings, two of which are antonyms of one another. Some are used in everyday language without our realizing it: the word ‘off’ is guilty of this. We can turn something off, meaning it will cease to be on. Conversely, the alarm can go off, meaning it has—rather bizarrely—just turned on. In more technical terms, a ‘strike’ can, in baseball terminology, mean a hit or a miss.

ADVERTISEMENT
#10

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

chlothegod Report

#12

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

dajo42 Report

Add photo comments
POST
ohxrkqra avatar
Kira Okah
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

English has more than five vowels but only five letters to display them.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#13

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

egberts Report

Add photo comments
POST
abigail-hope-cullen avatar
Gay_Forg
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO READ THIS CORRECTLY AND UNDERSTAND IT

View more commentsArrow down menu
#15

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

lisaquestions Report

Add photo comments
POST
manusal avatar
El muerto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when ask to use ones own words. I go; "emjuju wata wata majojo" because those are my own words.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#18

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

trexis__ Report

Add photo comments
POST
der-tod-auf-raedern avatar
Cactus McCoy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Easy. As an English/American native speaker go for german words like "Streichholzschachtel".

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#19

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

Real_jaeflex Report

Add photo comments
POST
ner_diz avatar
Serial pacifist
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, if a person from Poland is a Pole, then shouldn't a person from Holland be a Hole?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#20

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

farmsuggestion Report

Add photo comments
POST
saragregory0508 avatar
NsG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The "if" throws me. "You all would have" all contract in previously accepted ways. Same with "I would have". I have never seen "if" contracted into anything before. It would have been recognisable as Y'all'd've if I'd've. (Because I'd also like to point out that the apostrophe around I'd was in the wrong place)

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#24

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

rudy_betrayed Report

Add photo comments
POST
ianmilne2159 avatar
Ian Milne
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pony Bologna only rhymes if you pronounce Bologna incorrectly

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#26

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ohxrkqra avatar
Kira Okah
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know about anyone else, bt seeing "nineth" makes me want to say it as nin-eth with two syllables. Maybe that is why ninth eventually beat nineth, for a time both versions were correct.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#28

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

Report

Add photo comments
POST
wendillon avatar
Monday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Huh...TIL that intimate was also a verb. Thank you random sentences.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#29

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

livemulticulturually Report

Add photo comments
POST
allanjohnbreum avatar
Allan Breum
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kowtow is technically not an English word, its an anglicized version of a Chinese words.

meinespammailadresse1 avatar
A B C
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Queue is French, gargantuan probably has Greek roots, so... That's what language does. Adapt and evolve.

Load More Replies...
robert-thornburrow avatar
Robert T
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Antidisestablishmentarianism? Discombobulated? Triskaidekaphobia?

kimitomminello avatar
Kimi Tomminello
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol have you been brushing up on your spelling bee words 😉 j/k discombobulated is one if my favorite words and it learned it because of spelling bees.

Load More Replies...
ohxrkqra avatar
Kira Okah
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All of those look like perfectly serviceable words to me.

jon_steensen avatar
Jon Steensen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my favorite English word is swap. How can you have a word that sounds like pulling out a boot that was stuck in mud?

gale41_1 avatar
Alan Gale
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My lasting memory of my first time at the Glastonbury festival, is the sound of many dozens of boots, sandles, trainers etc, being sucked out of the mud!

Load More Replies...
sdeveno12 avatar
BasedWang
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ayyyy I actually used kerfuffle in a sentence the other day

just_a_spooky_dude avatar
blbrightonoswin_1 avatar
Brian Bennett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know the English language is a bitch if you are a poor speller!

fredneobob90 avatar
Huddo's sister
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And if you have only heard a word in a particular accent. I confused my teacher in grade 5 by writing 'smornen'. The sentence was 'I did that the smornen' It should have been 'I did that in the morning' The Australian 'country' accent is quite lazy :)

Load More Replies...
helen_19 avatar
Helen Ovtroy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Five guesses why this person capitalized sponge but not any other word in the entire post, including English

skylarjaxx avatar
Skylar Jaxx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Colonel... The one word in English that will NEVER make sense to me

kjl01 avatar
Karen Lyon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For a long time, I struggled with "people". I knew the "o" was there, but didn't understand WHY, and always wanted to put it first, like the "i before e, except after c" rule. LOL. I don't know the origins, but I doubt that the presence of that "o" would make sense if I did!

sam_moor avatar
Sam Moor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It took me a long time to learn why I never heard anybody say the word colonel while never seeing the word curnel written.

asakura_shaman avatar
Abby Parker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Whenever I write the word triple, I always think it’s wrong because ripple has the double p in the middle 😆

sexychick4421475 avatar
Claire Armstrong
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually do this a lot lol. Think of a word and keep repeating it until it ends up no longer sounding like a real word and then I have to ask my partner if it actually is a real word or not. I get funny looks from my man a lot!

izzijunk avatar
IzaCoder
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m somewhat surprised that nobody has mentioned “cwm!” It’s an actual word, and according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary (www.merriam-webster.com), it is “a deep steep-walled basin on a mountain usually forming the blunt end of a valley.” Link to definition: https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cirque

ahovey1009 avatar
moose man
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All the time when I’m looking at a mono font and a non mono font. The characters just don’t look right anymore if you know what I mean

brianbell avatar
Brian bell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. Sometimes I find I accidentally misspell a word because it simply looks wrong when I see it written out.

tanner0630 avatar
sirfryingpan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i do that all the time and then my really irrational anxiety gets kicked up to max

abigailshue avatar
memyselfandI
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Room. I had to stop reading a book once for like ten minutes just staring at the word room.

megapod1949 avatar
emmabryant2 avatar
Eb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

English does nothing! People bring words with them when they migrate, or borrow and adapt them.

Load More Replies...
princedibbs avatar
Israel Martinez
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of the young on line at KFC looking at the menu and being interested in the "co-lo-nell's" special ...

suhairatasni avatar
ohxrkqra avatar
Kira Okah
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It comes from "columnua" for the spelling, the pronunciation from obsolete Old French "coronel". "The Normans" is most likely the reason why.

Load More Replies...
robpeter avatar
wendillon avatar
Monday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I also know the words, but there are times when you look at them and go "I know that's right....but it looks wrong".

Load More Replies...
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#31

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

maddylizy Report

Add photo comments
POST
summermason avatar
Summer Mason
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trying to teach my daughter to read and write is hard. She has to sound out her words when reading. But the sounds the words make are not the same as spelling them on paper. 🙃

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#32

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

ohheykenz123 Report

Add photo comments
POST
ohxrkqra avatar
Kira Okah
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Different words developing the same spelling over time. Bass (base) is from Mediaeval Latin, bass (fish) is from a Germanic root.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#34

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

alexkoford Report

Add photo comments
POST
rebeccabailey_1 avatar
Rebecca Bailey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Arkansas and Kansas didnt come from English. Arkansas is a French corruption of the pronunciation of a Quapaw word meaning "The Down River People" Kansas is named after the Kansa people. Almost all of the states names came from native words, or French or Spanish corruptions of those native words.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#35

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

PatrickReza Report

Add photo comments
POST
saragregory0508 avatar
NsG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because it relates to gratitude, not greatitude? (Very much a guess, I haven't had a brew yet)

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

Note: this post originally had 37 images. It’s been shortened to the top 35 images based on user votes.