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English is the most spoken language in the world with a mind-bending total of 1.348 billion speakers. So no language like it has ever dominated the world. The influence of English can be easily traced in the way its vocabulary has infiltrated so many other languages.

Researchers at the IULM University in Milan have noticed that, in the past 50 years, Italian syntax has shifted towards patterns that mimic English models, and that’s just one example. And thanks to the global influence of social media, younger generations from around the world are all speaking fluent English, mimicking insta-famous natives from across the sea like it's no big deal.

So it’s only fair to expect something from this language, right? For example, that it makes sense, is user-friendly and somewhat intuitive. And it kinda is, or is it? Well, you gotta draw your own conclusions after scrolling through some of the weirdest, most frustrating and pretty incredible English language quirks we collected below. From the cursed English pronunciation to the sentences that have 7 or more different meanings depending on the stressed word, this is a crazy class you wouldn’t like to have an exam in.

English, the universal language of this world, is somewhat of a tough nut to crack for anyone who just got on board. The reason for this is the fact that this language is full of unique quirks and incredible oddities that, although challenging at first, give it character. For example, think of the sentence “I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long” by Mitch Hedberg, who created this paraprosdokian, a phrase that figuratively defeats your expectation. The listener or reader will have to reframe or reinterpret the earlier clause. Coming from the Greek ‘para’ meaning ‘against’ and ‘prosdokia’ meaning ‘expectation,’ a paraprosdokian leaves the reader somewhat baffled by the conclusion of the sentence.

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Tails
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will one up you. Every E in Mercedes is pronounced differently.

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XSpooky_Mint
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't kill your dog. I DIDN'T kill your dog. I didn't KILL your dog. I didn't kill YOUR dog. I didn't kill your DOG.

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May
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

English is considered one of the easier languages to learn - it gets much more complicated out there people

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Another confusing thing in the English language may be syntactic ambiguity. Here is an example: “I’m happy I’m a tennis player, and so is Albert.” It can mean four things: “I am happy Albert and I are both tennis players,” “I’m glad I'm a tennis player, and Albert is also a tennis player,” “Albert and I are both glad I’m a tennis player,” or “I am glad I’m a tennis player and Albert is also glad to be a tennis player.”

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Rose the Cook
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Both are rarely heard outside America except from people who think Americanisms are trendy.

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Geronyms, brand names used to mean an everyday item, are also common in the English language. These terms have seeped into the general psyche and are used more often than their technical counterparts. We almost always ‘Google’ something instead of doing an ‘online search.’ In the US especially, for example, people often refer to cotton swabs as ‘Q-Tips’ after their brand name. Increasingly more popular nowadays is the process of ‘Photoshopping’ an image, after Adobe’s software of the same name.

Auto-antonyms are words with multiple meanings, two of which are antonyms of one another. Some are used in everyday language without our realizing it: the word ‘off’ is guilty of this. We can turn something off, meaning it will cease to be on. Conversely, the alarm can go off, meaning it has—rather bizarrely—just turned on. In more technical terms, a ‘strike’ can, in baseball terminology, mean a hit or a miss.

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Kira Okah
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

English has more than five vowels but only five letters to display them.

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Gay_Forg
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO READ THIS CORRECTLY AND UNDERSTAND IT

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El muerto
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when ask to use ones own words. I go; "emjuju wata wata majojo" because those are my own words.

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Cactus McCoy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Easy. As an English/American native speaker go for german words like "Streichholzschachtel".

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ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well as a person who is very very fluent in German, Streichholzschächtelchen means a small matchbox and.. "Rechtsschutzversicherungsgesellschaften" means an insurance company and "Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän" means a Danube Steamship captain. Deutsch is amazing.

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Vicky Z
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If English people think their language is the most difficult that's really hilarious

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ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From my experience, English is super easy (I'm not native English) and if English ppl think their language is the hardest, good luck saying "Lentokonesuihkuturbiinimoottoriapumekaanikkoaliupseerioppilas (Suominden) or" Donaudampfschiffahrtsgesellschaftskapitän (Deutsch)"

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Naesil
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who came up with the pronunciation for word "colonel" :D

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Wilf
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Except Yacht isn't an English word- it's Dutch (old Germanic). I think a lot of people posting about the complexity of the English language don't understand how it was made up from other influences and languages. As soon as you know 'Yacht' comes from the Dutch 'Jaght' you know exactly how to pronounce it!

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Big Blue Cat
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sure, but if you aren't fluent with all the other languages? :) English is my second language and I didn't know yacht comes from Dutch but I still know how to pronounce it. Also these lead, lead, read, read, tear, tear, tier etc. are somehow very easy for me, if only I can determine context, I can pronounce it correctly, without knowing the origins of each word.

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Pharmtechgurl
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of a conversation with a Japanese boss years ago. We lived in the Chicago area, and he told me he would be out the next day because he was visiting a customer in lislee. It's actually Lisle, pronounced Lile. Or going to Indiana Police. Asked him why he needed Indiana Police. In frustration, he burst out: "Engrish is YOUR language!" He was going to Indianapolis. I felt his pain.

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XSpooky_Mint
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Turtle" in Swedish is "Sköldpadda" Do with that what you will

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Cheryl Benard
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

you just made me remember how, 25 years ago, my son came home with a first grade essay featuring their class trip to the forest, in which he had become overly ambitious and written about the "skwerrils" - the teacher God bless her gave him a star.

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Calvin Girvin
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a native English speaker, but I really prefer Spanish, because in Spanish if you can say the word you can spell it. No dictionary needed.

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Irene Donovan
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mostly true. Spanish absolutely can be pronounced properly if one sees it, but the reverse isn't quite true. C and s and z can all sound like s, y and ll, i and y...

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jimmy pop
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a German it's ridiculously easy to pronounce, but then the English pronunciation makes no fkn sense whatsoever. English pronunciation is a complete mess because it's 80% foreign words but no damn rules on how to pronounce all of the different variations of the same letter combinations and same pronunciations of different letter combinations; don't just take the German "ch" for which you have no rule on how to pronounce it and then not create a rule of your own but just leave it there until the majority of people have sort of come to a consensus of how to pronounce it.

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That nerd Zoe
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Seriously why are we so inconsistent? Other languages are hard to learn but English? Nah man, I'm so glad English is my first language because imagine trying to learn it.

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SassPanda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine trying to learn how to pronounce "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis" lol. (The official scientific name for black lung)

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Thomson StClair
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All people who understand English are superheroes to people who don't understand the importance of punctuation.

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Klaatu Verrata (Cough)
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is precisely why Judaism modernized "Chanakuh" to "Hannakkuh". Christians (actually, mostly just American Christians) couldn't be trusted with it, so they started phonetically spelling it in the closest pronunciation most were able to squeak out.

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Official_Blink
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Im Indian , And Im lucky my parents are well educated and started teaching me english very early because as I grow up , Im getting dumber and I couldn't have learned this s**t easily

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Cindy VanLerberg
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was an assistant tutor in ESOL for 3 years, and those poor folks want so badly, to speak English properly, and they're so eager, and English is so fricked.

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Karen Evans
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

we have a town called Schlater. Pronounced Slaughter...Itta Bena pronounced Etta Beanah....Tchula pronounced either Chula or Tula...gotta love the south!

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A_fangirling_Demigod_witch
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I AM A SUPERHERO well kind of cause my parents speak spanish and a weee bit of english so ehh

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MotherofGuineaPigs
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Isn't German the nouns and/or descriptors just all smashed together in one word? - My favorite - Merschweinchen : piglets of the sea (guniea pigs)

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Šimon Špaček
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Try something from Czech, like "Střížkov". We have some great things which can be hardly translated to English, but I will try. For example, we can suggest that something is small by changing the words ending, so there might be a big city, which would be "město" and small city, which would be "městečko". But dough would be "těsto" and thin dough would be "těstíčko". Proper screw is "šroub", little one is "šroubek". And those little hooks mean that the letter is softened, so "Š" is pronounced as "Sh" and "Č" is pronounced "Ch" or "Cz". And then it gets even worse.

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Daniel Marsh
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a kid, I could never understand adults who told me to look up how to spell a word in the dictionary. If I could do that, I wouldn't need to do that! But now I have to remember every day to take my ADD pills, so I guess I'm still in the same boat.

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Sam Schrevel
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, in Dutch Yacht translates to jacht, which also literally translates to the noun "The Hunt"

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Loki’s Lil Butter Knife
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hmm, I always thought that Mandarin Chinese was considered one of the most difficult languages to learn as it is a tonal language, is rich in homophones, and has a number of idioms. Plus, you have to learn a non-Latin based writing system.

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ZAPanda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

apparently it isn't pronounced as spelt, but that's not surprising when you see the word "eight", "night", "fright", etc., none of which pronounce the -gh- thing.

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Andy Acceber
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Heck, I'm a native English speaker, and I struggled to teach a native-English-speaking six year old how to read. I was helping in an after-school program and a kid to sound out a word. I told him that two "o"s make an "oo" sound like in "moon." The kid was trying to sound out "good."

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Serial pacifist
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, if a person from Poland is a Pole, then shouldn't a person from Holland be a Hole?

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NsG
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The "if" throws me. "You all would have" all contract in previously accepted ways. Same with "I would have". I have never seen "if" contracted into anything before. It would have been recognisable as Y'all'd've if I'd've. (Because I'd also like to point out that the apostrophe around I'd was in the wrong place)

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Ian Milne
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pony Bologna only rhymes if you pronounce Bologna incorrectly

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Kira Okah
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know about anyone else, bt seeing "nineth" makes me want to say it as nin-eth with two syllables. Maybe that is why ninth eventually beat nineth, for a time both versions were correct.

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Monday
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Huh...TIL that intimate was also a verb. Thank you random sentences.

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Allan Breum
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kowtow is technically not an English word, its an anglicized version of a Chinese words.

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Summer Mason
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trying to teach my daughter to read and write is hard. She has to sound out her words when reading. But the sounds the words make are not the same as spelling them on paper. 🙃

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Kira Okah
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Different words developing the same spelling over time. Bass (base) is from Mediaeval Latin, bass (fish) is from a Germanic root.

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Rebecca Bailey
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Arkansas and Kansas didnt come from English. Arkansas is a French corruption of the pronunciation of a Quapaw word meaning "The Down River People" Kansas is named after the Kansa people. Almost all of the states names came from native words, or French or Spanish corruptions of those native words.

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NsG
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because it relates to gratitude, not greatitude? (Very much a guess, I haven't had a brew yet)

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